Hey there! Just wanted to apologize for sending this out late. Had a car accident and though physically fine, things are kinda messed up right now...especially not having a car. Expect irregular postings for a little bit a bear with me on this please. Well...on to reading!

"If you want to keep talking, you need to get rid of the guys. I'll give you a ride back tomorrow. I just don't want to hide in the kitchen all night. And if you could, have them not say anything to Charlie…..at all. Not even that they saw me tonight. He wouldn't be able to handle it." I nodded and made my way to the living room. I wanted some answers and I knew that she didn't want to discuss it all while the other guys were here.

Chapter 3

BPOV

The guys each gave me a hug as they filed out of my apartment. It reminded me of when things were at least somewhat ok. Not wanting to be rude, I decided to try to play hostess. "Hey, Jake? Want something to drink or want me to order some food?" He all too willingly offered to make the call for some pizza while I got us each a glass of ice and grabbed a bottle of soda out of the cupboard. Why I didn't bother putting it in the fridge is beyond me.

I plopped my ass down on the couch as Jacob came out of the bathroom. Did I remember to put the mirror away? SHIT! "Um, Bella? I think we need to have one hell of a talk." He sauntered his way over to me and set the mirror down on the coffee table and sat down next to me. I leaned back, crossed my legs, and crossed my arms. I know that it shows that I am being defensive, but still. "It's a mirror, you should know all about them, they've been around for hundreds of years." He rolled his eyes at my smart ass comment.

"It isn't so much the mirror itself that I am wondering about….it is the white powder stuck to the mirror that has me concerned." What the fuck am I going to tell him? That it's baby powder? That a friend of mine was here earlier and used it? Fuck my life! Guess I'll just go with the truth and get it all laid out there. "Well, I snorted some coke not too long ago." He gave me a sideways glance. "How long ago is not too long ago? Are we talking weeks, days, what Bella?" I lowered my head in shame. "As soon as we got here."

"What the hell Isabella? Why are you doing this to yourself? What's next, huh….weed, acid, heroine? Enlighten me here!" He was now shouting at me and it made me feel even more like shit. "I have already done or am currently doing all those things…except the heroine." He shot up from the couch and started pacing around the living room. "What the fuck! You could have at least come and talked to me. I have always been there for…"

I cut him off right there. "No the fuck you haven't! Once you started phasing, you phased me right the hell out! You made a promise to me that you wouldn't hurt me and you left, which, guess what…..IT FUCKING HURT!" By now I could feel the pull to my bedroom where my weed was stashed. I needed to calm the fuck down and quick. Instead, I headed back into the kitchen and grabbed the vodka out of the freezer and tilted my head back, needing the burn.

Jacob ripped the bottle from my hand and threw it at the wall, shattering the bottle and splattering my alcohol all over the place. "You are better than this Bella. You used to be perfect. You were beautiful, innocent, intelligent, and knew who you were. Now look at you, you are one hell of a mess. You have no self-confidence and you need help. Are you even a virgin anymore?" I hung my head as the tears filled my eyes. He was right. I am the opposite of who I used to be….who I want to be again. I sunk to the floor, letting the tears fall with my sobs. I shook my head to answer his question.

He crouched down, brushed the hair away from my face, and tilted my head up to look at him. "How many?" How many what? Oh….men. "I don't even remember anymore." I shook my head and lowered it back down. "I stopped counting. Don't worry…I used protection and I'm on the pill."

He stood up and rubbed his face with his hands while taking a deep breath. "Where's your broom? I'll clean up the glass so you don't get cut. It was my fault after all." I pointed to the pantry and he proceeded to clean the mess up.

When he was done, he picked up and carried me to the bathroom, setting me down on the toilet seat. He asked where my towels were then started filling up the tub. A minute later, he returned with two towels and started stripping himself. "You don't have to do this, I can bath myself." He looked deep into my eyes. "You need my help, Bella. If it is only for one night, I will show you that I do still care about you. Let me help you. Please." I sighed in defeat, nodded my head, and started taking my clothes off.

For some strange reason, I felt the need to cover my body. I am a stripper for God's sake…I take my clothes of for a living. Not only that, but I have had sex with so many guys, I actually lost count. But here with Jake and with the conversations we had this evening; it made me uncomfortable for him to see me. I decided to "man up" and leave myself vulnerable anyways.

He stopped when it came down to taking his pants off. "What's wrong?" He held up a finger and left the bathroom. A few minutes he came back and finished getting undressed. "The pizza guy was here. I forgot about that, sorry." He turned the water off and stood me up. Looking me up and down, his eyes showed great concern.

"Do you eat? You were skinny before, but now you look anorexic." I looked at myself in the mirror. Staring back at me, I saw myself…almost. My cheeks were a little hollowed, my ribs were showing, and I had dark circles under my eyes. When was the last time I ate? Jake is really making me do this…I can't stand to look at myself or think this much about my life. I turned around and faced him. He pulled me to him hugging my frail looking body. For the first time in years, I felt safe. "Let's take a bath." I pulled us over to the tub and we got in, with him behind me.

I leaned my head back on his shoulder while he traced a tattoo on my right breast. It was a tiny broken heart….just like mine really felt. "When did you get this?" I automatically knew the answer to that. "It was my graduation present to myself." He slid his hand down my stomach to my belly button barbell. "How about this one?" Easy enough to answer. "I got that one after I had been living here a year."

He started kissing and gently biting my neck as his hand slid down lower. I moaned as he reached my clit. "How about this one?" He was playing with the hoop in my clit and I was getting extremely turned on now. "The morning after I lost my virginity." He kept playing with it then suddenly, he inserted a finger inside me. I moaned his name loudly and he kept kissing my neck while finger fucking me.

"Stop." He did as I requested and turned around to straddle him. Slowly, I positioned myself onto the tip of his cock. We both moaned loudly as I lowered myself onto him. "Damn Bella, you're so fucking tight." I started rocking my hips and grinding against him. Soon enough, he reached down and started playing with the hoop again. "Fuck Jake! Keep that shit up and I'm gonna cum!" He responded by rubbing my clit faster. At this point, I started bouncing on his cock…thrusting myself down on him harder and harder. His other hand grabbed the back of my neck and he pulled me towards him.

I crushed my lips to his and kissed him with every ounce of passion I felt. It has been so long since I have felt cared about that I didn't want to pass this up. I needed to know what it felt like to have sex with someone who knew me and knew my name. Jacob must have read my mind. "Damn Bella, you feel so fucking good. I have waited so long for this. Shit! I'm gonna cum soon!" I felt my own orgasm closing in as well, so I started bouncing harder with Jacob thrusting up to meet me each time.

Before either of us could warn the other, I exploded around him as he shot his cum deep inside me. I collapsed against his chest as he held me…both of us trying to steady our breathing. "Bella, that was amazing. I love you." Oh shit. He went and said those 3 words. "It in deed was amazing, and I know." I knew in my heart that I didn't love him the way he did me and I didn't want to say it back. If I were to, he would use that to get me to go home. I don't think Aro would take to kindly to that and I wanted to keep my life – thank you very much.

Hoped you enjoyed the first of many lemons for this story! So far 2011 hasn't been that great for me...but reviews will at least make me smile! Please show me some love!