HIKARI: (3 year old sister) "Chi-Chi, you're getting fat. Are you pregnant? Am I gonna be an auntie again?"

TAIKI: "She can't be pregnant, she spends all her time writing fanfiction and reading APUSH."

ME: "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

TAIKI: "You don't have time to get pregnant!"

Z: "No! She just need to hook up with the guy in her choir that likes her! It will take five minutes!"

ME: "I'M NOT HAVING A BABY WITH THAT WEIRDO!"

Two younger brothers: 'in PERFECT unison'"You're having a BABY?"

'My parents are sitting five feet away from this, laughing their heads off.'

All that money can't buy me a time machine,

I can't replace you with a million rings.

I should've told you what you meant to me.

Because now I pay the price.

Kayashima never showed up for art class.

Kayashima frequently skipped meals, it was one of the (many) things Nakatsu had worried about concerning his roommate over the past year and a half. Kayashima was small and nearly skeletal, but he had always seemed more interested in staying in the dorm, reading a book, rather than maintaining a healthy weight.

So Nakatsu, hungover as he was, didn't think much about it when Kayashima didn't appear for lunch, besides making a mental note to force Kayashima to eat extra that night at dinner.

But the next period, however, was art class, which Kayashima had always taken seriously. The teacher had worriedly asked Nakatsu if Kayashima was sick, and Nakatsu had to shrug and admit he really didn't know.

Normally, the low hum of the art studio as students quietly chatted with each other while working on their projects was very calming to Nakatsu, and should have been a oasis of relative quiet with his current hangover.

But today, all it did was allow him to relentlessly worry about Kayashima's mysterious disappearance.

It wasn't like Kayashima to miss class. While the other students often stayed in bed over every minor sniffle or headache, eager to get a free pass for the day, Nakatsu had only seen Kayashima miss school a handful of times, and every one of them involved one of the crippling migraines he knew his roommate was prone to.

Ashiya tried his best to reassure Nakatsu; Kayashima was surely inside their room right now, blinds drawn, a warm washcloth over his eyes. Nakatsu told himself over and over that that must be the sole cause of Kayashima's absence, but a nigging feeling in his gut told him Kayashima would have surely texted.

Kayashima also didn't show up for physics. That new kid-Uragai what's-his-name-inquired about Kayashima's whereabouts after Noe had jokingly stated that they were 'missing a spirit.'

"Do you know him?" Nakatsu had asked the new kid, head cocked in interest. Kayashima had seemed almost...angry when he had first seen Uragai walk into the classroom. Maybe Kayashima was simply avoiding him.

A cocky smile broke out on the new kid's face, quickly facing away from Nakatsu. "You could say that." He had laughed, as if he were telling the funniest joke in the world. "We've been best friends since middle school."

"Really." Nakatsu said, ignoring the dull pounding in his head. "Because Kayashima is my roommate, and he never mentioned you transferring here."'

Uragai had only looked at him briefly, laughing like Nakatsu had just told a hilarious joke. Thankfully, the teacher had walked in right at that moment, stopping Nakatsu from punching the kid in the nose.

Nakatsu wanted to sprint home as soon as the bell rang, wanting to assure himself that Kayashima was safe, but he had soccer practice. He didn't remember much from the actual practice, just a lot of kicking the ball as hard as he could.

When practice was over, he hurried through his shower, dressing and running his fingers through his tousled blond locks as he ran out the door, eager to get home to his roommate.

'What could have happened?' He worried as he jogged to Dorm 2, fumbling with his cardkey for a moment, before entering the building and taking the stairs two at a time. 'He...Kayashima wouldn't just take off without telling me. He just wouldn't.'

Nakatsu stood outside the door to Room 203 for a minute, trying to brace himself for whatever lied behind that door before pushing it open.

"Kayashima?" He called uneasily, jumping a little as his voice echoed back to him. "Kayashima? You okay?"

'Shit. He's not here. He's not here, and he wasn't in class. He could have walked right off school property and gotten hit by a car for all I know.'

"Kayashima?" He cried, a bit of panic creeping into his voice. 'He's not here. He's not here. I'm going to lose it. I am go-'

"Nakatsu?"

A relieved smile broke out over Nakatsu's face as he heard his roommate speak his name. Though it sounded more like 'Nakutsuuuuu.' Kayashima sounded like he was drunk, or drugged up.

"Kayashima? You okay?" Nakatsu climbed the stairs to Kayashima's personal level, where his voice had come from. Nakatsu glanced around the area, searching for his roommate, then did a double take.

Kayashima's bed had been stripped of all sheets, pillows, and blankets, leaving nothing but the mattress and bed frame. The entire room smelled like Lysol, and the floor shined as if someone had spent the better part of a week scrubbing it meticulously with a toothbrush. But the weirdest thing of all was Nakatsu's roommate himself.

Kayashima laid on his side, facing away from the stairs. That would have been fine, had it not been for the fact that Kayashima was laying in the middle of the floor rather than on his bed. Kayashima was wearing a heavy black sweatshirt that was at least two sizes too big for him, and a pair of jeans that were cinched tightly at the waist with a leather belt. He didn't wear any shoes.

"Kayashima?" Nakatsu asked tenatively, walking toward his roommate cautiously. "You alright? Are you sick?"

"Nnhhooo."

Nakatsu took a deep breath. Kayashima was definitely drugged up.

"Hey. Come on, sit up." Nakatsu grabbed the psychic by his wrists and pulled him up to a sitting position. Kayashima immediately slumped forward, elbows resting on his knees.

"What did you take?" Nakatsu felt Kayashima's forehead, noting that his skin was clammy and cold. Kayashima shrugged.

"Prosssac. Thick ssssome Haldol."

"You think?"

Kayashima closed his eyes. "Pillsss m-make it b-b-better."

Nakatsu took Kayashima by the wrist, intending on checking his pulse. He turned over his hand, and saw that the skin was blistered and red. Kayashima opened his eyes to stare at Nakatsu. Nakatsu had to look closely because Kayashima's irises were practically black, but he was fairly certain there was only a thin halo of dark purple surrounding those engorged pupils.

"How much did you take?" He asked, relieved Kayashima's heartrate seemed fairly normal, if even a little sluggish. 'He's on Prozac and Haldol? I didn't know that. What the hell does Haldol treat?'

Kayashima screwed up his face as if in deep concentration. "I tthhick like...f-f-five, maybe. Or ssssseven."

"Seven?"

"T-t-told you." Kayashima laid back down, closing his eyes again. "P-p-p-pills make everything better."

Nakatsu let out an angry sigh. Kayashima had intentionally overdosed on drugs. Kayashima had skipped half a school day and intentionally overdosed on drugs after Nakatsu had acted like a douche to him the morning after they had both lost their virginity to each other. Why was he such an idiot? Why did he do such stupid things to Kayashima?

'He took seven pills?' He thought as he scooped Kayashima up in his arms, carefully carrying him down the stairs. 'Should I call Poison Control? Probably couldn't hurt. I should definitely get him in to see Umeda when he wakes up. Don't think I need to take him to the hospital. How many anti-depressant capsules can you digest safely? I think it's eight. Right? Eight? Please be eight.'

"I'm gonna make a quick phone call." Nakatsu said as he deposited Kayashima on his bed. "You can sleep here. I'll be right here if you need me."

He turned away, bending over to dig his phone out of his bag.

"Why c-c-can't I die, Shuichi?"

Nakatsu straightened up, lightning coursing through his body where Kayashima's few words had struck him. "What did you say?"

"Why can't I die?" Kayashima's voice shook, but at least he wasn't slurring his words anymore. Nakatsu turned around. Kayashima was still laying in the exact same position Nakatsu had put him in, he probably couldn't move even if he wanted to, but his eyes were wide open, staring at something Nakatsu couldn't see. "I don't want to be here. I want it all to go away."

Kayashima closed his eyes, and Nakatsu dropped to his knees next to his bed. He grasped one of Kayashima's hands in his, holding it to his face until he was completely sure his psychic friend had fallen asleep.

After tearing himself away from his possibly suicidal roommate long enough to turn his computer on, wait an excruciatingly long time for it to boot up and connect to the internet, and do a quick Google search for the number of their local Poison Control Center, Nakatsu was back at Kayashima's side, phone in hand, listening anxiously to the person on the other end.

The woman from Poison Control was calm, and patiently reassured Nakatsu that Kayashima was not in immediate danger. She told Nakatsu to keep an eye on his roommate, but to let him sleep it off. He was supposed to take him to Umeda when he woke up, though. Just to be safe.

Nakatsu didn't quite dare tell her what Kayashima said. He knew, in his gut, that she would tell him to get him to a hospital, get him evaluted for depression, and he just wasn't ready to do that. He didn't want to send Kayashima away. He wanted to keep his roommate near.

After hanging up with Poison Control Lady, Nakatsu was overwhelmed with worry and guilt. Kayashima would be alright this time, but what happened after he woke up? Would whatever emotional turmoil that had prompted Kayashima to swallow seven pills earlier that afternoon still be present later, or had it all been adrenaline?

He was such an idiot. He was a giant, stupid, jerky idiot. He had bullied and guilted Kayashima into having sex with him, then treated him like dirt the next morning. Then, he hadn't even followed his gut feeling and gone looking for his friend when he had mysterious disappeared in the middle of a school day.

'I'm a heartless, horny bastard.' Nakatsu thought bitterly as he slumped forward in his desk chair, which he had placed next to his bed to watch over Kayashima. 'I don't deserve to make love to him again. I loathe myself!'

Nakatsu hadn't even realized that he had fallen asleep when he jerked awake to a pained groan that Kayashima had emmitted.

"Ka-Kayashima?" He whispered, sliding to the floor as his eyes adjusted to the dark. "Are you awake? You feeling okay?"

Kayashima only nodded in response, eyes still closed. Nakatsu carefully brushed a stray eyelash from his roommate's face, careful not to disturb him.

"Just keep sleeping. You're sick. I'll take care of you."

"Not sick..." Kayashima mumbled as he pushed aside Nakatsu's covers. "Gotta get ready for class..."

"No, no, it's fine." Nakatsu placed his hands on both of Kayashima's shoulders, pushing him back down. He quickly glanced at his digital alarm clock, which told him it was 3:51 in the morning. "You don't have to go to school today. Just stay in bed. I'll be here."

"I have to go to class..." Kayashima mumbled, but he stayed put.

Nakatsu sighed in relief, settling himself back in the chair. He wanted to crawl into bed with Kayashima, put his arms around the other boy and fall asleep with his beautiful roommate in his arms, but he knew that wasn't what Kayashima needed right then. "Just go back to sleep. I'll take you in to see Umeda when you wake up."

"Why do I have to see Umeda?" Kayashima asked innocently, opening his eyes for the first time.

"Um, overdose? You took seven pills?"

"Oh. That." Kayashima closed his eyes again, letting out a small sigh. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, Nakatsu. I'm usually not that...well, overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah. I've learned to channel my...frustrations into more productive ends." He rambled, bringing one hand up to his face and draping it over his eyes. "Just...this time, I just couldn't deal with everything on my own. And unfortunately, I have a bad habit of turning to, well, harmful practices when I can't deal. Such as drug use."

Nakatsu couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'Kayashima wanted to hurt himself. Kayashima wanted to hurt himself because I am a retarded idiot. I am a despicable human being.'

"Kayashima, I...I'm sorry about yesterday, and um...Wednesday night. It's just that-"

"Wait, Nakatsu." Kayashima sat up, bracing himself up with shaky arms, avoiding Nakatsu's gaze. "I didn't do it because of you. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

"It's not?" Nakatsu sat up straighter, hope sparkling in his eyes, before his mood took another dive. "Then why did you overdose?"

"I can't tell you, Shuichi."

Nakatsu sighed, getting to his feet. "Just promise me you won't do anything to hurt yourself again. If you can't deal, you come talk to me." He placed one hand on Kayashima's slim shoulder, ignoring how the younger boy recoiled from the slightest touch. "No matter what I'm doing. You come to me. Promise?"

"Yeah. I promise." Kayashima said dismissively as he laid back down turning on his side, away from Nakatsu.

Nakatsu watched Kayashima's gentle breathing for a few minutes, then softly slid his legs underneath the soft covers, wrapping one arm around Kayashima's waist.

"What are you doing?" Kayashima jerked away, so fast Nakatsu had to grab hold of his sweatshirt to keep Kayashima from falling off the bed.

"Going to sleep. There are no sheets on your bed." Nakatsu grunted as he drew his arms around Kayashima again. Kayashima only squirmed out of his grasp.

"What the..." He sat up, looking around, confused. "Oh, shit. This is your bed."

Without another word, Kayashima swung his legs around the side of the bed and hopped off, tripping a bit and bracing himself against the wall as he balanced himself.

"Wait, Kayashima..." Nakatsu jumped out of bed, backing away from Kayashima, lest he upset the boy again. "I'm sorry. You're the one who's sick. Lay down."

"No. No, Nakatsu." Kayashima avoided Nakatsu's hands as he drunkenly staggered up the stairs. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

Nakatsu heard the unmistakable sound of Kayashima's slim body hitting the floor, no doubt curling up in the same position his roommate had found him in earlier that evening. Nakatsu laid back down on his empty bed, Kayashima's warmth still present in the pillow, a thousand questions running through his head.

In another life,

I would be your girl.

We'd keep all out promises,

be us against the world.

In another life,

I would make you stay.

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away.

So the song for this chapter, in addition to being the second Katy Perry song in this fic, (I am not obsessed with Katy Perry...I swear) has an interesting story. I was just chilling in our basement, (where me, Z, and Taiki all live) writing this, when I heard Z turn on the shower and sing along to this song on the radio. I made fun of him when he got out.

PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER: My stepbrother's singing voice.

Still considering a Beta. Too lazy to really search for one. I did go in and sift through a few Beta profiles, but didn't really find any that seemed good. It seemed like every one I looked at condemned me with their judgment for writing yaoi, which apparently makes me some naughty Catholic schoolgirl. (...not the porn star kind.) I found one Beta that said they would handle yaoi that didn't sound like a complete nincompoop. (Like writing in chatspeak, or mispelling VERY obvious words, such as writing stories as storys, ON THEIR BETA PROFILE.) I was super excited, I was like, I FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL OF BETA'S! Then I read the very last sentence, which read, 'I will not read anything containing the rape or sexual abuse of minors.' Dammit. That option just flew out the window.

I know I could find one if I cared enough to look, but honestly, sometimes I just feel like I'm too incompetent to get a Beta.

So, please review! I don't really know what exactly I'm going to do for the next few chapters, just kind of a rough outline and random scenes I've written that I have no idea where they will go. Do we want some hot Nakatsu on Kayashima action, or do we want Ryoto being a sadistic little rapist again? (Not that we don't love Kayashima and hate seeing him get raped...)

Sokka: "You don't love Kayashima! Look what you've done to him over the course of three stories!"

So, yeah. Review. Tell me what you like/didn't like. Feel free to rant. I like long reviews. I will love you if you give me long reviews. I will give you a cup-brownie. And remember, Reviews=Hot Smex. No Reviews=Teenage Angst and Chastity.

DISCLAIMER: I Do Not own Nakatsu, Kayashima, or any of the sexy men of Hana-Kimi. I also do not own Sokka, my future husband. I do own, however, the best bedroom in the basement, as it is not underneath the stairs and does not contain a scary looking water heater.

-Chihiro