Author's Note:

I don't really like this chapter, I felt it's a little boring but most of it is key to the plot. I hope you think better of it then I do.

Ch. 3 Denying and Running

Serena walked away from her best friend and realized that one little speech would never make Lily realize what she was missing. Every single guy Lily had ever dated at Hogwarts was, in a nutshell, Lily: kind, friendly, cheerful, and smart, but not just smart kids, geniuses. Serena ran a hand through her screaming red hair and frowned, chewing on her lip a bit as was her usual habit. She needed someone to help her convince Lily, or, worst case, force Lily into a situation where she would need to talk to James. Her first though was Sirius, but it would be a bit awkward to ask Lily's brother to set Lily up with his best friend. Who else… Delia!

Serena stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, causing a few disgruntled comments and smiled to herself. She hadn't thought of Delia at first since the girl had just come to the school, but, after Delia's story of her expulsion, Serena was convinced she would rise to the occasion and break a few rules while she was at it.

Serena doubted her beliefs for a moment when she encountered the studious looking Delia in the corner of the Common Room bent over her books, but once Serena was close enough to see her books she saw the doodles she was working on of Quiddich players.

"How's the studying going?" Serena asked as she slumped into the armchair next to Delia.

Delia looked up with a grin, "Oh great," she replied sarcastically. "I think I may actually be getting charms for once."

"Charms?" Serena asked, "You should ask Lily about charms, that's her subject. That and potions."

"Mental note of that," Delia snapped her notebook shut and gave Serena her full attention. "So what's up? You look like you need to say something important."

Serena was surprised; most people told her she was impossible to read. "Lily and James. I don't know all the details of the summer. Lily kind of rushed through the parts with James, which was pretty much the whole thing, but I know what happened. Now, you should know, he has asked her out just about daily since our first day of school. Any girl he'd dated since then has asked him out. Most of them broke up with him because he continued to ask Lily out. He's clearly head over heals in love with her but Lily seems to think its some sort of joke. Now she won't even talk to him because she says it's too awkward after the summer. They belong together and we need to make Lily see that."

Delia didn't respond right away, and when she did it surprised Serena, "Why are you asking me to help?"

"Because, you're clearly good friends with Lily and I think you understand what I'm talking about."

"No," Delia looked confused, "Why are you asking me for help when we barely know each other. An idiot can tell James and Lily belong together but I didn't think you'd come to me about it. I figured you and Lily have tons of other friends here and well—"

Serena smiled in an encouraging way, "Nope, me and Lils have just got each other, and now you. I came to you cause any friend of Lily's is a friend of mine."

Delia chuckled, "Well then, lets get started. I just hope you don't feel the same about and boyfriend of Lily's or we'll be wasting out time setting her up with James."

Serena smiled and winked, "You never know. If Lily doesn't get her act together and just tell James she'll marry him—he's asked her that a ton of times too—I might have to just get him for myself." Switching to a more serious tone she continued, "So what do you say we do?"

"We may have to resort to more drastic actions, but at the moment, I say just crack her shell. Confront her and make her admit she loves him. We'll work from there," Delia sounded like she had experience in confrontations.

"And if she doesn't crack?"

"We make her."

o0o

"Hey Lily," Delia called across the Common Room that evening. "Will you come with me to the library to get some books for the potions essay?"

"Sure," Lily gave a strained smile from over the top of her divination text, closed it and walked to the portrait hole. "I can use a break from that stupid stuff. It's such bull anyways."

Lily had barely walked two yards (meters of you're a metric person) into the hallway when she was tugged into an empty classroom down the hall. "Serena, Delia, what the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"Lily, enough is enough," Serena stated matter of fact-ly. She stood directly in between Lily and the door, feet spread in a steady stance and arms crossed.

Delia sat on the teacher's desk to Lily's right, gazing on nonchalantly as though the whole scene bored her, "We're sick of you being such a fool."

"He loves you."

"You know it."

"And we don't want to hear about how confused you are."

"The truth is right in front of your nose."

"Plain as daylight."

"You just have your eyes closed."

"And have had them closed since the first day you came to Hogwarts."

"He loves you."

"So accept it, you're in denial."

"And you love him too," Delia finished their speech and stood, leaning her hips against the desk but no longer on it.

Lily stared at them with her mouth open. Her eyes flicked back and forth from on to the other but all she was met with was flinty, determined gazes and stubborn, uplifted chins. She struggled for words but their brutal honesty had hurt her. She snapped, "Who are you to tell me who I love? Teaming up against me, thick as thieves, I introduced you. You barely know each other but for me and already you're collaborating against me, telling me how to live my life. I am not a fool, I don't have to tell you whom I love and you most certainly don't have to tell me who I love. You don't have the right to tell me that. Just who do you think you are? My mother? My sister? My father? I don't have a mother, sister, or father, at least not anymore—."

Serena was surprised by her friend's passionate outburst but Delia seemed to have expected it, "So you don't love him?"

"No."

"Say it, 'I don't love James', unless you do…" Delia goaded.

"No!" Lily shrieked, "I don't love, James." Lily's voice faded almost regretfully when she said his name and Delia's eyes flashed in victory.

Delia opened her mouth to retort but her words were drowned out by a shriek that pierced the entire school. "Please don't," a voice screamed from somewhere on the grounds.

All three girls sprinted to the window. Most of the students still at dinner began to rush through the main doors and onto the grounds. A girl with a dark complexion and black hair was standing on the grass and pleading with someone they couldn't see. "Severus, please," she called, her eyes toward the skies. Everyone on the grounds looked about confused, wondering where the person she was begging to was standing, "Don't do this." The girl's words seemed a whisper but it carried to everyone listening.

Suddenly Lily pieced together the clues, "Roof," was all she managed to say before she bolted into the corridor. By the time Delia and Serena left the room Lily had already disappeared around the corner.

o0o

On the grass outside Selene Snape continued her cries to her brother many stories above. Word had reached them that night that her father, that horrible man, had finally given their mother so hard a beating that she had died from the wounds. Helen Snape had always believed that one day her muggle husband would forgive her for deceiving him but he just beat her and their children continuously. Selene couldn't bear to lose her brother too, "Severus please, I need you. I love you; you can't do this. It's not what she would have wanted." Several stories above Severus Snape sat with his feet dangling over the edge of the roof, singing a lullaby his mother had once sung to him as he rocked forward and back. Each time he rocked a bit farther forward and then farther back, faster and faster. Soon he would swing so far he'd fall, down, down, down, down, down. Silently a red headed girl crept through the roof hatch behind him.

"Severus, don't!" a faint voice echoed up to them on the rooftop.

"I can't anymore Selene," he responded, "I wasn't there to stop him." Severus stared at his hands, "I should have been there to stop him," he added in a whisper.

Lily contemplated for a moment then did something both extremely stupid and extremely brave. She walked right up behind Severus and sat down, her feet also hanging over the edge of the school. Lily's head reeled at the height as the school gasped.

"What cha doin'?" she asked calmly, her face not betraying the slightest hint of fear.

Severus stared at her blankly, unsure of her sudden appearance, "Thinking."

"What of?" Lily picked carelessly at a tear in her jeans, not looking at the boy sitting next to her. "Seems an odd place to sit and think, causing such a scene when you could think in say, the library."

"Just go away mudblood," Severus decided the stupid girl sitting beside him wasn't worth the time and resumed his rocking, this time humming instead of singing the tune. A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye; he didn't bother to brush it away.

"That's not very nice, I'm only being friendly," Lily commented but she didn't move at all as he had requested and kept all traces of hurt from her voice. Severus didn't respond. "You know, you can't just shut out the world. Stuff happens. I'm guessing it's your family since I know that expression you're wearing having seen it on myself many mornings when I look in the mirror." Severus still didn't respond. "You can't run forever. We don't know what happens when we die. You may feel the pain just as acutely there, but with no remedy, no one offering a hand. Believe me, I know."

"And what are you running from?" a scratchy voice responded.

"Everything," Lily answered vaguely, "But if you come back inside with me, maybe someday I'll tell you." Lily waited for a moment but she didn't expect a response. Finally she stood and held out her hand, offering to help him up. Severus stared at her hand for a moment and reached up tentatively and grasped it. He was surprised by Lily's strong grip as she pulled him up. "Now lets get us in out of the cold," Lily commented with an honestly friendly smile.

As Lily and Severus walked through the deserted corridors towards the headmaster's office Lily's mind returned to the unused classroom and Delia and Serena. She couldn't believe their nerve but at the same time she wondered… What am I running from A small voice in her head answered, "The truth." Lily glowered, glad of the dark corridor to keep her thoughts from Severus. Fine, I love him, She admitted to herself, but there's no way I'm saying that out loud.

o0o

Back in the Common Room everyone sat in huddles gossiping about the nights events. The Marauders had smuggled in hot chocolate from the kitchens since no one felt like sleeping. In a corner Delia and Serena waited for Lily's reappearance. Serena trued to sip her hot chocolate but scalded her tongue. She looked to Delia to see how her friend was faring but Delia seemed to have forgotten the cup in her hands. Her eyes were distant and full of pain, reliving another time. Serena wanted to snap Delia out of her remorse, "How's your hot chocolate," she asked, "Mine's too hot."

Delia smiled. "Here, have mine," she said, handing over the cup, "It's cool."

Serena placed down her glass and took Delia's. She saw the other girl's eyes slipping back to their haunted expression and quickly thought of something encouraging to say. "You were smart when we were talking to Lily earlier," she commented, "I didn't know what to say when she got mad at us. It was the last thing I expected."

Delia chuckled and gave Serena a rueful smile but it twisted to a more cynical and ironic smirk, "I have experience with denial," was all she said though Serena though she heard Delia add in a whisper, "and suicide." But she couldn't be sure. "I'm pretty tired, I'm gonna hit the sack."

"Kay," Serena's response sounded dry and emotionless even to her. She knew she should say something comforting, loving, but instead she watched Delia walk upstairs slowly, hating herself for her idleness. What demons are haunting her that she looks like that? So cold, so empty, so regretful. She sipped Delia's hot chocolate and found it cold.

A/N:

Wow, that is a really depressing chapter. I hadn't intended it to be that dark, but you can't make suicide happy, ever.