DAD: "So, you all excited for Monday?"

'collection groan from all four teenagers in the car'

DAD: "Well, at least you're not a Muslim!"

'stunned silence'

DAD: "They have to pray six freaking times a day!"

Z: "...you do know we prayer eight times a day at our school."

DAD: "Well, shit."

Come ride with me through the veins of history.

I'll show you how God falls asleep on the job.

And how can we win,

When fools can be kings?

Don't waste your time,

Or time will waste you.

Kayashima slept. Like a stone.

Maybe it was because the pills he had taken earlier still hadn't completely worn off, or maybe because he was so mentally exhausted he didn't have the energy, but he didn't stir once after collapsing onto the floor.

When he finally woke up, somewhere around late morning or early afternoon, harsh sunlight streamed in through the foggy windows and Kayashima groaned. His head hurt too much to face the bright light.

Rolling over onto his stomach, he pulled the heavy quilt covering him over his head, blocking out the offensive light. He was so grateful for the momentary relief from the sun that it was a few seconds before he realized that he had gone to sleep without the quilt.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Kayashima stirred. Something was wrong, something was very wrong, but he was afraid to wake up and face it.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Slowly, Kayashima opened his eyes. Instead of being assaulted by the harsh rays of sunlight that crept into his room from the skylight, he was met by the sight of a pristine crystal chandelier, hanging elegantly precisely in the middle of the glittering white ceiling.

Kayashima sat up, puzzling over his new surroundings. The room was decorated like an old Victorian era home, with deep red floral wallpaper, dark wood furniture, and delicate crystal lamps placed on every table.

Sitting up carefully, as if the thick, Arabian rug beneath his feet was a booby trap and would explode at the slightest touch, Kayashima looked around at the peculiar setting. The soft, inviting bed beneath him didn't so much as creak as he stood up, eager to take a closer look at the mysterious room. He had never been inside anything like it before, but he didn't feel at all concerned about his inexplicable presence inside it. The room had a warm and inviting aura about it, and Kayashima felt safe inside it. He noted that the room was also perfectly symmetrical; as if someone had placed a mirror right down the middle of the room and the other half was merely a reflection. Blushing slightly, Kayashima realized that he was the only thing throwing the perfect mirror image off, and it also dawned on him, for the first time, that he was completely naked.

He quickly walked over to the armoire, grasping at the handles in the hope that whoever had put him there had been kind enough to leave some clothing for him. However, the doors would not budge, as if they had been painted on. Giving up, Kayashima walked away from the drawers, not really concerned about his current state of dress anyway.

Tick. Tock.

The rhymatic beat of the clocks had been present the entire time Kayashima had been inside the room, but in that second, the sound went from ambient noise to blaring, thunderous explosions. His curiosity piqued, he quickly walked over to the door, which contained no doorknob, and easily opened it, stepping out into the hallway.

The source of the tumultuous banging was immediately apparent; what seemed like a thousand clocks lined the hallway, taking up every inch of space, all ticking and tocking in beat, a perfect rhythm with each other.

Kayashima became aware of a heavenly glow at the end of the hallway and, without a thought, began walking towards it. It didn't seem very far, but as he continued to walk, the light became farther and farther away, and Kayashima walked faster and faster, until he was running. The clocks, which had all displayed different times upon his arrival, began to turn backwards, winding around frantically, the banging ticks and tocks of their pendulums blurring together until the combined to create one indecipherable, deafening roar. Kayashima ran faster, sweat pouring down his face and dripping down his spine, the wine-dark droplets joining the river of blood beneath his feet as he ran on.

Kayashima ran and ran, the noise expanding, the roaring in his head becoming so great there was a moment he thought he might explode.

Then, mercifully, he stopped. The clocks all released their ear-splitting toll as they chimed thirteen o'clock. Kayashima held his breath as he entered the light.

The room was made of mirrors, the reflective walls bathed in silver. Kayashima looked around, puzzled as to why the mirrors did not simply reflect each other, but abandoned the question as he realized the rules of physics made no sense anymore.

Ryoto stood in the middle of the room, an oasis of white in a room of silver.

Kayashima walked up to his side, looking out into the distance.

Ryoto slipped his arms around Kayashima's waist, nuzzling his face between his companions neck.

"Welcome home." He murmured, tenderly kissing Kayashima's soft flesh. Kayashima didn't even flinch, just stood there. Like a statue.

"This is home?"

Ryoto let out a small laugh, bringing one hand up to run through Kayashima's dark hair. "I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself."

Kayashima remained still. Something didn't feel quite right, as if it was spoken in a foreign language he only knew bits and pieces of.

"You raped me." He said, emotionless.

Ryoto kissed his temple. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? I don't like hurting you."

"I don't understand." Kayashima stepped away. "I don't understand you, Ryoto."

Smiling, Ryoto took his hand. "Isn't it obvious?"

"What?"

"Right there." Ryoto pointed with his free hand, still grinning. "The answer is right in front of you. Don't you see it?"

Kayashima stared ahead, into the mirror before him. All he saw was Ryoto's smiling face reflected back at him. He walked closer, then the realization hit him like an icy cold dawn. He dropped to his knees, and tried to scream. There was no sound, no noise came forth from Kayashima's core as he stared into the mirror.

There was nothing there.

Kayashima woke up with a start, soaked to the bone in cold sweat. He groaned and slapped a hand over his eyes as the sun's bright light again assaulted his vision. His heart pounded for a minute before returning to normal, his breathing slowed. He became aware that he was covered in a fairly thick quilt, but he was laying on the hard floor.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The quilt was a pretty, homemade piece, something Nakatsu's grandmother had given him before she died. He couldn't help but feel flattered that Nakatsu had covered him with one of his prized possessions even after he rejected the blonde as they laid in bed together.

'Why was I in Nakatsu's bed...' he wondered as his mind wandered back to the previous day, each memory slicing him like a sharpened knife.

Kayashima slapped a hand over his mouth as he hastily got to his feet, thundering down the stairs as hot acid bubbled up in the back of his throat. His knees hit the tile of the bathroom as he began to heave, gripping the sides of the toilet bowl. However, there was nothing in his stomach, and he was reduced to painfully gagging as his stomach reacted to his disgust.

He wasn't aware of Nakatsu's presence in the bathroom until his cool fingers were pressed against the back of Kayashima's burning neck. The violent tremors that rippled through Kayashima's body alleviated and eventually subsided as Nakatsu raked his fingers through Kayashima's silky hair.

"You're really sick..." He mumbled. Kayashima shook his head.

"I'm fine. You shouldn't have..." He stopped to breathe, his chest feeling unnaturally heavy. "You should have let me go to school."

"Like this?" Nakatsu knelt down besides his roommate, taking his face in two hands. "Kayashima, in all the time I've known you, you've never had so much as a cold. Now you're just..." Nakatsu placed one hand over Kayashima's burning forehead. "You have a fever. You're not going anywhere until your fever breaks, alright?"

Kayashima absentmindedly nodded, not really caring anymore. He had already missed a day of school, and it was Friday. Two days of staying inside the dorm, not having to see anyone.

'I won't have to see Ryoto...' He thought bitterly, as a new wave of nausea washed over him. He bent over the toilet bowl again as he violently retched, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole before he died of humiliation.

Nakatsu backed towards the door, keeping his eyes trained on his vulnerable roommate. "I'm going to run out to the store to get you some medicine." He said, scratching his head. "And I'll probably buy some more food while I'm there. Not that I expect you to eat much..." He rambled, biting his lip. "Is there...is there anything you want me to get you?"

Kayashima managed to raise his head to meet the gaze of his roommate, though it felt like a ton of bricks were tied to his head. "Peppermint tea would be really nice." He managed to croak. Then, on second thought, "Take my credit card. My wallet should be in my bag."

"No." Nakatsu put up his hands. "It's fine. I can pay for this."

"It's my Dad's card." Kayashima told him, grabbing hold of the edge of the sink as he hoisted himself up. "He won't mind. He hardly ever even checks the bill."

Nakatsu seemed to consider this for a second, but then shook his head. "No. I can take perfectly good care of you, Kayashima. I don't need your card." He turned away, ready to walk out the door when he turned around again. "Kayashima. Brush your teeth, take a shower, put on some clean clothes and lay down in my bed. You'll feel much better."

Kayashima could only nod before dropping to his knees, his stomach flipping as he coughed.

Kayashima spent quite a while in the shower, and was still there when Nakatsu returned from the store, a plastic bag swinging from his hand. He raised an eyebrow as he called for Kayashima and was met with nothing but the silence of the empty room and the faint sound of running water and, depositing the bag on their desk, made his way over to the bathroom door and pounded on it a little harder than he intended to.

"Kayashima!" He yelled, then lowered his voice when he realized Sano and Ashiya next door could probably hear him. "Is everything okay in there?"

Holding a bar of soap in one hand, Kayashima froze when he heard his roommate call out to him. He paused, unsure of what to say.

"Um...yeah. Just give me a minute, okay?"

He didn't wait for Nakatsu's response before he began scrubbing again. He had, of course, showered after his...encounter with Ryoto. (Kayashima shuddered, refusing to think of it as a rape) He had scrubbed himself raw and had deposited his bloody sheets in the wash, returning to the room to clean the floor, as there was also a fair amount of blood that had found it's way to the ground. And after he had put the sheets in the dryer, he had showered again.

Even when all the sweat of the night had been washed away, Kayashima continued to scrub his luminous skin with a coarse washcloth, wearing the skin so thin that it some places it had broken open and blood had trickled down his flesh. He continued to scrub, however, feeling dirtier than ever.

'I can't erase him.' He thought hopelessly as he stepped into the cold spray of the shower, letting the icy droplets hit his face. 'I can't wash away the fact that he's been here.'

Every muscle, every nerve in Kayashima's body hurt. The places where Ryoto had touched seemed to burn as if there were some strange, unidentifiable chemical on his skin that he couldn't wash away. He just wanted to drop to the floor and never, ever move again.

After he had turned the water off and dressed in a fresh pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt, not even bothering to pull a comb through his ashen locks, Kayashima stumbled out of the bathroom, holding onto whatever furniture he could find to keep himself upright. Nakatsu, who had been sitting at their desk, uncharacteristically doing his homework at his computer, jumped out of his seat and sprinted over to help Kayashima cross the floor.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to...I don't know, carry you?" Nakatsu rambled as Kayashima shook his head.

"I'm fine. I just feel terrible."

Nakatsu nodded as he helped Kayashima down onto his mattress. "Sure there's nothing I can get you? Because it's no problem at all, if-"

"Nakatsu." Kayashima raised his hands, cutting Nakatsu's monologue short. "I'm fine. I just felt sick that's all." He breathed out as he settled back on the pillows, pulling Nakatsu's purple sheets up to his chest. "You were right. I feel much better. Thank you."

As if he hadn't even heard his roommate, Nakatsu turned around swiftly, walking to the other side of the room.

"I got your sheets out of the dryer." He called, and Kayashima's stomach did another series of acrobatic flips. Nakatsu made his way back over, unfolding the crisp white sheets in his hands, revealing the spotty, ghastly blood stains that decorated the material. Kayashima squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to think of the cause of their existence.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Kayashima opened his eyes, propping himself up on his elbows as he faced Nakatsu, still holding the bloody sheets. "Tell you what?"

Nakatsu dropped the sheets. "What happened? I mean, after we...you know, after...I don't know, did something rip or..." He trailed off, moving to sit on the bed besides Kayashima. "I just...I read some stuff online, and I know that with um...well, you can rip the rectal lining or..."

Kayashima held up a hand to silence him, closing his eyes again. He laid there for a long moment, carefully thinking over his next words.

'I can't tell him.'

"It wasn't your fault." He said finally, opening his eyes again.

Nakatsu leaned over him, his currently blue aura blushing with pink. "Well, of course it was." He huffed, almost annoyed with Kayashima for trying to absolve him. "I'm the one who...it was me who..."

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to, Nakatsu." Kayashima said as he stared into Nakatsu's chocolatey eyes. Nakatsu blinked, and Kayashima did his best to give him a small smile. "It's fine. I'll be okay."

"But the blood-"

"I was a virgin." He said, wanting the dangerous conversation over. "There was going to be blood. I'll be fine."

Nakatsu nodded slowly, slowly tracing the wrinkles and folds of the sheets. "I'm just worried about you, Kayashima. You've never been this sick before."

"Just a coincidence." He smiled again, hoping Nakatsu would be convinced. Nakatsu trailed his fingers over the smooth dips of the fabric, resting his hand gently on Kayashima's cheek. Kayashima tried not to flinch at his touch.

"You should smile more." Nakatsu said as he gazed at Kayashima, his aura becoming very pink. He began to slowly rub his thumb across Kayashima's cheek. "I like your smile."

Kayashima had stiffened, frozen to the bed as memories from the day before played through his head. He pushed Nakatsu's hand away, closing his eyes as he tried to get the images out of his head.

Ryoto, stroking Kayashima's face lovingly as he sweetly planted a kiss on Kayashima's numb lips, Ryoto, on top of him, kissing down Kayashima's toned stomach, Ryoto, Ryoto, Ryoto.

No.

Kayashima opened his eyes. Ryoto wasn't there, really wasn't there. Nakatsu was. Nakatsu was there, and Nakatsu was concerned for him.

"Kayashima..." Nakatsu nearly sighed as his fingers trailed down his roommate jaw, his eyes far away. "I..I'm sorry."

He motioned to get up, but Kayashima grabbed onto Nakatsu's arm. Nakatsu looked back at him, looking strangely hopeful. Kayashima bit his lip, but forced himself to keep eye contact.

"I...I'm the one who should be sorry." He fidgeted, uncomfortable. Nakatsu's hands immediately went to to Kayashima's face.

"It's not your fault..."

"No, what I mean is..." Kayashima swallowed, forcing the words out. "I'm sorry I disappeared right after...right after we had sex." He didn't respond to Nakatsu's very obvious flinch. "I've been treating you like shit, and I'm sorry."

Nakatsu looked down at his hands, now in his lap. "I think...Kayashima, I think I like you."

Kayashima held his breath. The world seemed to wiggle off it's axis for a moment, shocking and abnormal as Nakatsu's proclamation seemed to be. There, Nakatsu had put himself out there, displayed his hidden and-until now-unrealized affections for his very quiet, very complicated roommate. It was certainly a brave thing to do, as Kayashima doubted he would ever have had the courage to put himself directly in the line of fire like that.

"I never really thought about you in a romantic way before, but after what happened..." Nakatsu rambled on, seemingly trying to get all his emotions out, possibly before Kayashima could shoot him down. "I just can't help but think...I don't know. I just don't think I'm gay, and..." Kayashima brought one finger up to quiet him, his chaotic silence indecipherable.

"I think..." Kayashima breathed, bracing himself for what he was about to say. "I think I care for you too. And I don't think liking one guy makes you gay, Shuichi." Nakatsu looked at him, shocked, as Kayashima curled his lips in an attempt to smile again.

"You don't? I mean, you like...you like me too?" Kayashima nodded. Nakatsu exhaled, seemingly both relieved and uncertain about Kayashima's announcement.

"That's...that's so..."

Nakatsu face broke out into a huge grin that seemed to glow with triumph. He laughed a bit bitterly. "I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you, Shuichi." Kayashima said as he closed his eyes again, completely exhausted. "It's just been stressful these past few days."

They were relatively silent for a moment, the only sound between them being the hum of the dorm heaters coming on and the sound of Noe's scratched Britney Spears CD skipping on the song 'Hit Me Baby One More Time.'

Finally, Nakatsu's uneasy voice broke the turbulent silence. "So...what do we do now?"

"Now?" Kayashima asked rhetorically, eyes still closed. He turned on his side, away from Nakatsu. "Now you can put your arms around me and warm me up. I'm freezing."

He could almost hear Nakatsu grinning. "Snuggle time?"

"I guess. If you really want to call it that."

Nakatsu stopped short of clapping his hands as he slipped his legs into the bed with Kayashima, wrapping his tan arms around his roommates slender body. Kayashima tensed at first, but forced himself to relax as the faint pink colors of Nakatsu's aura wrapped around him. 'It's just Nakatsu. Just Nakatsu.'

Somewhat at peace, Kayashima drifted off into sleep, dreamlessly.

No one's gonna take me alive,

Time has come to make things right.

You and I must fight for our rights,

You and I must fight to survive.

Ah-hem. Yes, I am sorry that it's been...far too long since posting the last chapter. I hate to start the excuses, but here we are. I had pneumonia. (I have the flu now...joy. Great luck, huh?) Both me and Taiki got it, at which point we became the butt of many twin jokes from Evil Step. (I don't understand twin jokes. My brother and I don't look RELATED, much less twins.) And after recovering from that, I decided to start another story in another fandom...smart, huh? Then I took the ACT and since then, basically, my choir teacher has just been evil. And then, yeah, flu. And now we think we're gonna have to put our guniea pig down...so yeah.

I would like to thank the very wonderful collineesh for agreeing to become my Beta. She is now responsible for making sure I don't fail at life any longer.

For those of you who know nothing about anal sex, (yeah, I said it) it does run a high risk of ruptures or tears in the rectal lining and various infections from that. Apparently it's also against religion (even with opposite sex couples) which I did not know but found facinating. Also, not really related, but apparently gay couples can't adopt from China, as homosexuality is considered a 'mental disease' there. Sad, isn't it?

PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER: 'Through the Fire and Flames' Dragonforce, (BEST. SONG. EVER.) Adele...everything...and that one really annoying song that gets stuck in your head all the time. 'Moves Like Jaggar' I believe. I'm too lazy to look it up.

So there will probably be about ten million more chapters of this. No joke. I have this story pretty much mapped out and we're still practically at the beginning. I'll probably cut it down significantly, but still.

Alright, review! Please!