Disclaimer: Do we really have to go through this again? I. Do. Not. Own. Them. So. There.

Chapter 3: Katanas are Dangerous Items

Later, when Mikey had gotten the plans concerning obliterating Don out of Leo's head, Splinter decided that it was time to start helping Donatello get his memory back.

"If we all work together, I am sure that we will gain victory," he told his sons. "Leonardo, where did you put the dictionary?"

Leo drew weird patterns on the floor with his toes and didn't meet his father's eyes. "Well, about that… I'm afraid we've got a small problem."

"What do you mean?"

"In short, I couldn't find it."

Splinter raised his furry eyebrows. "But I am sure that there was a dictionary…"

Suddenly, Mike snapped his fingers. "Of course! How could I forget? April borrowed it the other day. You know, she's visiting her aunt in, like, Iowa – or was it Idaho?" he scratched his head with a thoughtful expression.

"Neither," said Leonardo. "It was North Dakota." Raph rolled his eyes.

Mike shrugged. "Whatever. Anyway, her aunt's new fiancée is German, and April wanted to practise some Swedish since she thought that those languages are pretty much the same…"

"And you're tellin' us that now!" Raphael glared at him. "Why didn't ya say so yesterday?"

"Um… I forgot?" Michelangelo knew that Raph wouldn't try to hurt him in front of Master Splinter, so he wasn't very afraid. None the less, he used one of his best 'I'm innocent-looks'.

"We just have to do it the hard way then," Splinter sighed. "We better start at once."

He knocked at Donny's door. "Hello?"

Don opened the door, just a slit though. He peered at them. "Vad vill ni?" (1)

Splinter gestured for him to come out. When Don hesitated, he gave his son an encouraging smile. That seemed to make Don feel a little braver, and he carefully stepped out, while casting nervous looks at Leo.

Splinter pointed to himself. "Master Splinter."

Raphael rolled his eyes (again). "Please…" Splinter gave him a Look, and he shut up.

The old rat pointed to his other sons: "Leonardo… Raphael… Michelangelo."

"But you can call me Mikey, dude!" shouted Mike. Don raised an eye ridge.

At last, Splinter gestured to Don himself. "Donatello."

Donatello seemed to have catched on. He pointed to Splinter. "Raphael."

"No!" Splinter shaked his head. "Master Splinter."

Don nodded, and placed a hand on his own plastron. "Master Splinter."

"And he's supposed to be the smart one," muttered Raph.

Don gestured towards Leo; "Donatello…" then towards Raph; "Michelangelo…" then towards Mikey; "Leonardo…" and so towards Master Splinter again: "Raphael." He smiled proudly, satisfied with being able to learn the names of these people so quickly.

Mentally, four family members banged their heads against the wall.

After 17 (unsuccessful) long minutes of attempting to get Don to remember, Splinter decided that the name thing could wait and that they should try something else instead.

"Come with me," he said to his son. He took three steps, then sensed that something was wrong. He turned around.

Donatello hadn't moved from his spot, just stared at him.

Splinter slapped his own forehead, went back and took the purple-clad turtle's hand. He then led his son down the stairs, with Mikey, Leo and Raph following. Donny didn't seem to mind.

"I think that we should try to fresh up his memory when it comes to ninjitsu," Splinter said. "Leonardo, draw your katanas and let him have a look at them."

Leo drew his katanas. Don jumped back. "Herregud! Såna där saker är ju farliga! Folk kan göra sig illa! Hur kan du bara gå omkring med dom sådär, är du inte klok?" (2) He glared at Leo. "Lägg undan dom innan du skär dig!" (3)

When Leo just looked at him quizzically, he lifted his hands in an exasperated gesture. "Fårskalle! Om du vägrar göra dig av med dom, så får jag väl göra det själv!" (4)

And before Leo, or anyone else for that matter, could say 'pepperoni pizza', Don had snatched up the katanas and rushed out into the sewers.

"Hey!" Leo shouted and ran after him, followed by Raph and Mike.

Splinter just stared after them. "Maybe this is a fitting occasion to meditate," he said to himself, and went to get some candles, but found that Leonardo had moved all the remaining candles from the cupboard, in case Donatello would decide to use them for something freaky again. 'Hm,' the rat thought and frowned, 'I find meditating with candles strengthens my aura better than meditating without them. What else do we have that could fit?'

Meanwhile, Leo, Raph and Mike were on a wild chase after their normally brainy brother. (Well, maybe he still was brainy, but in another way, if you get my point.)

"Where… did… he… go?" panted Michelangelo, as they stopped at a place where the tunnel parted in three.

"Let's split up," said Leo. "Raph, you go left, Mike, you go right, and I'll keep on forward." Since Leo always was perfect – except for when he turned into a nervous wreck because of his meditation candles – he wasn't even out of breath. "Does everyone have their shell-cells?"

"Yeah."

"Yup."

"Good. We'll meet up here in half an hour. The one that finds him calls the others. He cannot be far away. Okay? Go!"

They parted and went their different ways.

Donatello quickly walked down the tunnel. 'Jag kan slå vad om att dom är efter mig,' (5) he thought. 'Jag kan känna det i magen. Min mage har alltid rätt.' (6)

He stopped and listened. Not a sound. He took a look (AN: Hey, that rhymed!) at the swords in his hands. 'Så otroligt dumt. Springa omkring med såna här slaktarknivar! Man behöver bara slinta och plötsligt är man en arm fattigare. Vilken tur för de där konstiga typerna att jag dök upp och tog hand om dom här mordverktygen. De vet inte sitt eget bästa. Jag måste ha ett allvarligt snack med dem.' (7)

He spotted some sort of niche in the sewer wall. "A-ha! Ett perfekt gömställe!" (8) He lay Leo's katanas in the hole in the wall and put a couple of bricks in front of them. "Han hittar dem aldrig här." (9)

Right then, the owner of the swords came running 'round the corner. "Donatello!"

Don nodded and gestured to Leo. "Ja, det är du." (10)

The blue-clad turtle rolled his eyes. "Where are my katanas?"

When Don didn't answer, just looked at him quizzically, Leo turned his back to him and gestured to the scabbards on his shell.

"Åh, du menar svärden?" (11) Donny crossed his arms and gave Leo a stubborn look. "Det är alldeles för farliga leksaker för en sköldpadda i din ålder. Jag har gömt dem. Du får tillbaka dem när du blir äldre." (12)

Leonardo seemed to understand that he wouldn't get his prized possessions back so easy. He decided to use a different approach – the 'Michelangelo Method'. He smiled his most charming smile, clasped his hands and gave Don a pleading look, hoping that his brother would get the message even though he didn't understand the words: "Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please…"

Since the Michelangelo Method was one of the few things Leo just couldn't grasp, he didn't get the effect he wished for (if Mikey had done it, it's fully possible that Don would have handed over the katanas in two seconds flat). Instead of softening up and giving Leo his swords, Don got the impression that his older brother was having an attack of some sort. As the friendly being he was, he decided to put Leo out of his misery by knocking him unconscious. Leo sank to the ground, just as Donny himself had done the day before.

The purple-clad reptile shaked his head as he swung Leo over his shoulder and started his way back to the lair. "Jag har sagt det förr, jag säger det igen, de här typerna är så underliga!" (13)

This story's not meant to portray Sweden or Swedes. For example, I doubt that it's typically Swedish to flip out over a couple of swords and then hide them. If my sister was given the opportunity to examine a pair of katanas, she would be ecstatic and I'd have to literally drag her away from there. And in case you're wondering, German isn't that similar to Swedish. I don't get much at all when I hear someone speak German. April will have quite some problems trying to understand her aunt's fiancée by using that Swedish dictionary… ;)

1. What do you want?

2. My god! Those things are dangerous! People can get hurt! How can you just walk around with them like that, are you insane?

3. Put them away before you cut yourself!

4. Moron! If you refuse to get rid of them, I'll do it myself!

5. I can bet they're after me.

6. I can feel it in my gut. My gut's always right.

7. How incredibly stupid. Run around with butcher knives like these! You just have to slip and suddenly you're one arm poorer. How lucky for those weird types that I showed up and took care of these murder tools. They don't know their own good. I must have a serious talk with them.

8. Ah-ha! A perfect hiding place!

9. He'll never find them here.

10. Yes, that's you.

11. Oh, you mean the swords?

12. Those toys are too dangerous for a turtle your age. I've hidden them. You'll get them back when you grow older.

14. I've said it before, I say it again, these people are so strange!

My thumb feels so much better now, thanks to the reviews you left!

Until next time,

Idun