A/N: Happy American Independence Day, everyone! I hope everyone is celebrating the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness on the day the blight known as freedom smote the world!
So now we get to the fourth chapter, where Percy pitches the idea of his little band of brothers to the rest of the Olympians and gets an earful from Artemis. Thanks to all who reviewed and favorited and alerted and all that other good stuff.
And a big thank you to a Guest reviewer, who pointed out my mistake in my author's note. Leo and Piper are not the only demigods to meet and become friends before Camp, as evidenced by Annabeth, Thalia, and Luke. It totally slipped my mind! Sorry to all you lovers of those characters, They are by no means diminished in my mind at all.
Disclaimer: I still don't own shit, though I have a plan to kidnap Rick Riordan's family and hold them hostage until he give me the rights to his intellectual property as ransom. Now all I need is a couple AK-47's and some duct tape...
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Chapter 4: The Riders of Perseus
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PERCY
So it's almost three years later, and I'm getting kinda bored of immortality.
Once the Gigantomachia was through, there was nothing to do, and it was freakin' awesome. Like, incredibly freakin' awesome. In fact, I actually went a bit insane with power, but it was the good kind of insane. The mortals noticed something was up when marijuana plants grew like wheat across the North American continent, so much so that Congress was forced to pass a bill that legalized everyone's favorite recreational drug.
Not only that, but once it was legal, people started to sell pre-rolled joints in packs, like cigarettes, as well as make paper, clothing, and accessories out of hemp stalk, which brought the country out of recession.
Anyway, a lot of Mexican immigration let up, with immigrants starting work as pot farmers, and Mexico itself got a lot safer, what with there being more weed than folks know what to do with. The drug lords became more like drug mayors, and tons of new jobs cropped up, cutting unemployment rates across the entire continent by over half. Don't get me wrong, I freakin' love Mexican people, but with all the idiot white folks complaining non-stop about them 'taking their jobs,' I figure that it'll be good for the Caucasian-Americans to learn that those Mexicans did a lot of work for them, and how dependant upon those immigrant workers they were.
The coolest thing is, though, that Annabeth and a few more children of Athena have discovered that delta-9 tetrahydracannabinol, the chief cannabinoid in marijuana, can be converted into a clean-burning, environmental-friendly fuel quite easily. The satyrs are even starting to call me 'Pan II,' since I'm bringing the wild places back.
So let me read that back to you. I single-handedly brought about the legalization of marijuana, ended the recession, solved the immigration problem, and helped discover a renewable energy source that doesn't screw with the environment. All hail Perseus Jackson, God of Awesomeness and Badassery!
Demeter's been schooling me in bringing the harvests in, and Dad's taught me about the tides and things, so I've got those two down-pat, except when Artemis is being particularly obtuse. The tides are dependant on the moon, after all. Who better to disrupt the god of tides than the goddess of the moon, right?
In fact, the only road-bump on the godly highway so far has been the Huntress. Every friggin' step of the way, she finds some way to make my life miserable. I swear, whenever the Hunt comes to hang out at Camp Half-Blood, my campers and I are driven to near insanity with pranks of immortal proportions. No doubt, the attacks have caused the campers to grow closer together. The enemy of my enemy and all that good stuff.
But anyway, after all that, I've grown a bit antsy here at camp. I mean, I know it's my sacred place and everything, but sometimes it just grates on ya. I understand why Dionysus was such a dick, now.
I've got a sort of idea that I'm going to propose at the Winter Solstice meeting tomorrow. It's half-baked, and I'm absolutely positive that it'll piss off Artemis. Both pluses in my eyes.
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STILL PERCY
"-and then I totally was like, no way!" Apollo says, finishing up his own 'contribution' to the meeting. Apollo's my best god-friend, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wonder why he's the sun god, since he's not all that bright. It's probably the only thing that the Huntress and I agree on.
"Thank you for that...er...enlightening presentation, Apollo," Zeus says from the head of the U-shaped table, scratching his head in confusion. "If no one has anything else to add, I believe this meeting is over-"
"Uh, I've actually got something to say," I stand up, and with my godly powers, transport myself to the center of the room. "I've been getting a bit bored lately," I start, summoning a corn-cob pipe filled with weed and start puffing on it. "For fear of sounding like Dionysus, running Camp Half-Blood just doesn't have the kick that I thought it would.
"So, I've come to you, my fellow Olympians, with a proposal of sorts. I've noticed that Artemis has a group of followers who uphold her views and a share a certain camaraderie, which I believe is very commendable." Here I pause and dip my head toward the goddess in question, who scowls at me in response.
However," I continue after taking another hit from the pipe, "the Hunters of Artemis are all female, which I find discriminatory towards those with a Y chromosome. Men," I add, seeing confusion on most of the gods' faces.
"What I'm proposing, in a nutshell, is that I want to form a little group of my own, a sort of antithesis to Artemis and her huntresses. Where they are women, we will be men. Where they excel at ranged weapons, we would specialize in mounted combat and close-quarters fighting. Where they are celibate, we would be...ah, not so much."
"I like it," Zeus says at once. Well, he is known for his almost insatiable sexual appetite in the old stories...
"I do as well," Hera adds, surprising me. It must've shown on my face, because she smiles at me. "Balance is a key aspect of the world. Without one, there cannot be the other. I believe it is a very good idea."
Everyone likes it. Well, everyone except one. I'll give you three guesses, but you'll only need one.
After the meeting, I decide to take a walk around Olympus. Annabeth sure did a good job rebuilding this place. My own palace is something the two of us worked on together, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool. Definitely not as big as any of the Olympians, and I'm pretty sure most of the minor gods have bigger palaces than mine.
It's really just a two-story house with a big-ass yard with badass things like a pool with a waterfall, a Velcro wall, Hephaestus-made trampolines that launch you halfway out of orbit, etc. I've also got exactly fifty nearly identical houses down on Earth, one in each state.
But it's when I'm a few feet from my 'palace' when I'm accosted by none other than Artemis herself. And she looks absolutely livid.
"You...I...gah!" she exclaims as soon as she's within earshot. It seems as though she's so angry, she can't even form a coherent sentence. Alright!
"Why, hello there, Arty!" I grin. "How's the Hunt?"
In answer, she throws a punch my way. Three years ago, when I was just getting my godly sea-legs, so to speak, that punch would've knocked me halfway to Los Angeles. Come to think of it...it actually had done exactly that. Scared the hell out of Ben Afleck that day...
Now, I'm smart enough to dodge to the side.
"What the hell are you playing at, you uncouth moron!" she snaps angrily. "Do you want an arrow pointed at your genitalia?"
"For a virgin goddess, you're pretty kinky," I quip, then hop back a few dozen paces to evade her flurry of blows that comes my way. "Okay, okay, sorry!"
"You fool," she growls. "Forming an all-male counterpart to my Hunters is tantamount to a slap in my face."
"I'd never do that," I say honestly. "I might shoot spit-wads at you every Council meeting, but I wouldn't slap you. Didn't you hear? I'm just bored off my ass! You and the Hunt seem to have a freakin' ball, running around the world, killing monsters. It looked like fun, so I figured, why not?"
Her frown becomes slightly less severe, which is something that I feel a sense of accomplishment in and of itself. Maybe it's my calming aura, maybe I'm just that awesome. "Be that as it may," she presses, "if your group of men comes anywhere near my Hunt, you will be attacked as an enemy."
"Aw, don't be that way, Arty," I pout. "I'm not that bad, am I?"
She gives me an appraising look before shrugging. "No," she admits, turning and walking away"You're terribly worse." Well, at least it wasn't an arrow to the genitalia. She vanishes in a flash of power.
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LEO
Cabin Nine is usually not a quiet place. There's always someone doing something at their workbench, and when it comes to Hephaestus kids doing something, it's always accompanied by a fair amount of noise.
So when it actually is quiet, I try and take advantage. Everyone's either at the Bunker or in the forges at the moment, and I get to just relax. The past three years have been pretty slow, at least compared to my first few months as a demigod. Then again, that's a good thing, as there are no monsters or titans or giants coming to destroy all of western civilization, so I'll count it as a win for us.
At least I had ample amount of time to make a new body for Festus. I'd managed to hang onto his 'brain' throughout the Gigantomachia, and I'd promised him that once it was over, I'd bring him back, and that's just what I did. With a few improvements of course. Hey, what do you expect? I'm the son of Hephaestus, for crying out loud!
Piper's been around a couple dozen times, too. The Hunters of Artemis stop by about once or twice every quarter, mostly to bug the crap out of us. I think it's because of how much dislike Artemis holds for Percy, but what do I know, right?
Anyway, after my kinda embarrassing hissy-fit I threw when Piper became a Hunter, I came to terms with the fact that I'd only be seeing her a few times out of the year and moved on. It's not like I can do anything about it, after all. I think it's good for Piper, to tell the truth. She's never had any friends who were girls, as most of the chicks throughout her childhood or at the Wilderness School were jealous of her insane beauty. But she doesn't have to worry about that in a group of immortal, celibate teenage girls, so now she's got all the girlfriends she could ever want.
Jason and the Camp Jupiter crew come by every other month, and we go over there on alternating months, so we see each other all the time. It's kinda cool. Jason and Reyna are actually getting married next summer, and they seem really happy together. I'm glad for them. I suppose I can live vicariously through Jason, since I'll get that kind of joy.
Change of thought...I can't go getting depressed again.
Deciding to go check up on Festus, I pull myself out of my bunk and step out into the cool evening air, basking in the last hours of sunlight before Apollo finishes his daily journey. I head into the woods to Bunker 9, then make a left and head further. After finishing his new body, but before putting Festus back into it, I had Percy do me a favor and carve out a big cave for Festus to hang out in, so he's got his on pad to hang out in rather than the noisy bunker.
I give a whistle, and the dragon, now made mostly of Imperial gold, comes bounding out of his lair, teeth whirling like drills as he bowls me over.
"It's nice to see you, too, Festus," I grunt, "but get off me!" He complies, and we head back into his cavern, which has been tricked out extensively by the entire Hephaestus cabin. During special occassions, Festus goes into Bunker 9 so the camp can have a party in the massive chamber; yeah, it's that big.
Festus curls up onto his bronze bed and I take a seat on the wall just next to him. I built the chair myself, so I know it's comfy, and begin to tighten a few screws and fiddle with some wing-nuts, which is the equivalent of petting the automaton.
He lets out a puff of white smoke, and I inhale deeply. Yeah, I gave him weed smoke burps, you got a problem? I don't have the luxury of being able to grow pot on the spot like Percy can, so I have to improvise.
After awhile, Festus cranes his long neck around and jabs at a chair close to mine with his snout. I made it for Piper whenever she comes around. Jason's is on my other side, and Reyna's is next to his. They all really appreciate the fine craftsmanship.
"Yeah, I miss her, too, buddy," I sigh, putting away the socket wrench I was using to tighten the bolt that holds his jaw together.
"Who's it you miss?"
I spin and find none other than Piper McLean standing silhouetted in the cave's entrance. She looks great, as always, in her silver Hunter's coat, which she wears under her old ski vest. Her hair is the same as usual, choppy with a few braids on the side of her face, and her eyes are currently a vibrant gold, the same color as Festus.
The dragon spins and jumps off his cushion, knocking me over in the process, to get to Piper, who laughs and pats him on the top of his head fondly. "Hey Festus. Keeping this loser out of trouble?"
He answers with a sound like a V-8 engine revving up. I pick myself up and make my way over to her, where she immediately grabs me in a headlock and starts giving me a noogie. I make a struggle (but not as much as I'm capable of), and she finally lets me go, grinning up at me.
"You grew again," she notes, gauging the nearly foot of difference in our height. "I can't call you a Mexican elf anymore. Maybe a Mexican luchador, huh?" She inspects my arms, and whistles. While they'll never be as big as Jason's huge Roman biceps, the years spent hammering away at the forges have actually given me some muscle mass.
"Enough checking me out, Beauty Queen," I say, trying to hide my flushed cheeks. "How's the Hunt?"
"Oh, it's good," she says, heading over to her chair and flopping down, dropping her bow and quiver in the process. "Tiring, but good. We had to take down a pack of dracenae earlier, and Lady Artemis decided to give us a break here."
"How nice of her," I respond dryly, still standing. "I hate to do this, but you know dinner's gonna start in a couple minutes." I grin when she sighs and sinks further into the chair.
"But it's so comfortable," she groans in protest.
"C'mon, I'm sure Festus'd be happy to give us a ride, right?" I turn to the dragon, who hops to his feet, eager to fly. After helping Piper up onto the hollow between Festus' wings, I jump up and take the reigns.
He gets a running start out of the cave and leaps into the air, golden wings snapping out and catching the wind as he propels us upward and out over the forest. A flock of harpies scatter before him, screeching angrily, and I give them the one-finger salute as we pass. Percy always warns us about the harpies eating us alive, but with Festus, that'll never be a problem for me.
We make it to the dining pavilion, and Festus drops us off before wheeling back around and heading to his lair. Piper and I part ways as she heads to the Artemis table, where the rest of the Hunters are sitting. I spot Thalia and wave, which she responds to by chucking a pea at me with a grin, then head to the Hephaestus table.
After dinner, we head to the campfire, which is a blazing silvery color in honor of the Hunt being present, and we have our usual sing-along, led by the Apollo cabin. Once that's over with, we start to head to our respective cabins when Percy, who's sitting next to Chiron and Artemis, stands up and raises his voice.
"Okay, campers!" he hollers, getting our attention. "Now, there's gonna be a few changes in the next week or so. I'm not going to be here all the time from now on."
"Why?" asks a newer camper from Cabin Five.
"I shall answer forthwith, Jerry," he replies, summoning that stupid corncob pipe he always uses to smoke his weed. "As you all know, the Hunters of Artemis are meanie-beanie-bobeanies." There's a collective murmur of agreement from us campers while the Hunters chuckle in amusement and Artemis scowls at his back. "But, just last night, during the Winter Solstice Conference, I managed to convince the other Olympians to let me create a similar group of demigods, except in direct opposition to the Hunt."
"So...it'll be a group of dudes?" I ask, confused. "Talk about a sausage fest."
"You didn't let me finish," Percy pouts. "It'll be a group of dudes who specialize in close combat, mounted fighting, monster-hunting, and the fairer sex."
"Now you're talking," I grin, suddenly more interested.
"Tomorrow, I shall put up a notice on the camp bulletin board with a list of requirements needed to join the Riders of Perseus, or more simply, the Cavalry. But for now, it's bedtime! Hurry up before the harpies start looking for a meal."
The next morning, a flyer shows up on the board near the swordfighting arena. It reads thusly:
Requirements to becoming a member of the Cavalry:
Must be from the ages of fifteen to twenty-one. No exceptions.
Must be fairly proficient in at least one form of armed combat.
Must be fairly proficient in at least one style of unarmed combat.
Must be fairly proficient in mounted combat.
Must excel at riding at least one type of animal.
Must enjoy the company of the fairer sex. Giggity.
Must not be a buzz-kill.
Must not be adverse to getting drunk, stoned, or a combination thereof.
Must be good at video games.
Must like being awesome...'cause that's what you are if you meet all above requirements.
It's pretty obvious that Percy came up with it himself. I take a moment to see if I actually meet all of these. I'm nineteen, so I'm good for the age-group. I can swing a mean ball-peen hammer, and from living on my own for awhile on the streets of Houston, I became pretty good at street-fighting, and I count that as a style of unarmed combat. I'm not sure about the mounted combat, but since my riding animal is Festus, he can do the fighting for me. I am very partial to the fairer sex, I doubt that anyone thinks I'm a buzz-kill. I love getting drunk, stoned, or a combination thereof, and I'm pretty excellent at video games.
Hell, yeah! I qualify with flying colors. The instructions below that flyer say that if we do meet the requirements, that we're to show up at the sword-fighting arena at noon, preferrably with our mounts.
In the end, when twelve o'clock comes rolling around, there are nine of us in all. Me, the Stoll brothers, Will, Butch, Clovis, Malcom, Mitchell, and Pollux all sit in the amphitheater, talking amongst ourselves while our steeds screw around.
Festus is inspecting the Stoll brothers' mounts curiously, and I can't blame him; stranger creatures I never saw. Lumos and Umbra are twin (big shock there) hippalektryons, horse/bird hybrids; Lumos is has a palomino horse front and a dove's wings and rear end while Umbra has crow bird parts and black horse parts.
Will, during a quest to destroy a gryphon, ended up feeling sorry for the beast and befriended it, so now he's got Leona. Butch's mount has a similar story, in that he went out to deal with the Erymanthian boar problem in Denver and got a ride instead. Clovis' mount is a ventus named Espresso (the son of Hypnos could definitely use some caffeine), Mitchell somehow managed to tame a huge panther named Patches, Malcom rides a giant owl who goes by the name Archimedes, and Pollux's mount is a pegasus with an auburn coat he calls Castor, apparently in honor of his dead twin.
As usual, Percy's a little late. At about twelve-fifteen, a swirl of shadows appears in the center of the arena and out pops Mrs. O'Leary and a skeletal, winged horse with long hair clinging to its bones. Atop these are Percy and Nico di Angelo.
"Hey, guys!" Percy says, grinning and waving. "So, everyone's here?"
"Yup," Travis replies. "So, how does this work?"
"Yeah," Conner adds. "Are we gonna be immortals, like the Hunters of Artemis?"
Percy dismounts Mrs. O'Leary and conjures us some chairs from nothingness. "Please, sit." We do so, and he begins to pace. "Now, first of all, yes, you will become immortal if I accept you into the Celestial Cavalry. But to do so, you must pass my..." he pauses dramaticall before yelling out, "TEST of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
Clovis groaned. "Work? Damn it, I thought we were gonna just hang out..." I can't help but agree with this.
"This test will be more difficult than anything you have ever encountered before in your lives," Percy states in an ominous voice. "You must..." We all lean forward in anticipation. "...get really, really stoned with me."
All nine of us face-plant into the ground.
A/N: Aha! You all thought there would be a huge quest! Pfft. Bullshit. Percy doesn't care if you're a world-class badass like himself, he just wants some cool friends to hang out with. All of these mounts are from Greek mythology except for Nico's. Whoever knows what his is gets free cyber high-fives (irl high-fives cost ten dollars each).
So these are the initial Riders of Perseus. There may or may not be more added. Grover and Tyson will hang out with them every once in awhile, and I might add a few Roman campers, but overall, these will be the main guys.
And if someone could please tell me what the big deal is with the whole "Percy becomes a virgin god and has all his followers make vows of celibacy,' I would really appreciate it. What the hell, fanfic authors? Does every Pertemis lover jerk off to the Jonas brothers or something? I mean really, folks.
Okay, my rant's done. So, once again, please tell me what you think about Marcus Jackson. Now, note that I will not be going the route of having the camp shut Percy just because he's got a cool little brother who gets lucky or something, but I will have Percy deal with his li'l bro in his own stoner!Percy fashion. Also, the Chaos thing: Chaos will most likely be the main antagonist in this story, as there are few deities or other beings of immense power who are capable of matching Percy in raw strength and refined cunning. Lord Sanguine is the only reviewer as of this post to have given me any input as to this point, which I greatly appreciate (waves at Lord Sanguine).
So if you'd kindly review, then I'll try to hurry up with the next chapter, with the operative word being try. See ya next time!