Please forgive me for this long delay. As usual, I put the blame on school. I've had a bad case of writer's block too.

IMPORTANT! There seem to have been some misunderstandings concerning last chapter, when Don realized what their real names were. Technically, he hasn't remembered – they simply told him their names. I made them do it because it would've been too complicated to have him walk around calling people by the wrong names for the rest of the story. So no, his memory is not on its way back, even though it may seem so to the turtles. It'll take long before he goes back to the Don they know and love – although it will happen! I won't let my Donatello stay a nutcase forever!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for this really cool red college shirt with the text 'YMCA – We help young people to build a future'. I was a leader at a confirmation camp once (I have never before been so close to a nervous breakdown in my entire life), and all the leaders got such shirts. It's a limited edition!

Chapter 8: April Enters the Picture

"How's it going, Stockman? Do you see the turtle on that screen? May I have a look?"

Baxter Stockman sighed. How was he supposed to do his job with a raving lunatic hanging over his shoulder? "No, Master, I cannot see him."

"But shouldn't there be a little green dot on that screen that says 'blip'… 'blip'… 'blip'… 'blip'… 'blip'… while it's moving? Huh?"

"Yes, there should, but there seem to be something wrong with the signal. The bug on the turtle isn't responding."

Oroku Saki looked confused and scratched his head. "Does that mean that it is not working?"

Stockman sighed again. "Something like that, yes."

The Shredder frowned. "But why isn't it working?"

"My theory is that the turtle has gone down into the sewers, and the signal that the bug sends out isn't strong enough to go through the ground and up here."

"Ah-ha," Shredder nodded and smiled. "I don't get it. Now make me that laser gun!"

Stockman bit his lip so as not to groan in frustration. 'Please, kill me,' he thought. 'Strangle me, drown me, shoot me with that darn so-called laser gun, I don't care, just let me die!'

Stockman had indeed been right – the bug was still left on Donny's shell, but since the turtles now were underground its signals didn't reach Shredder's skyscraper. Technically it wasn't broken, but just not working for the moment.

Donatello's brothers had taken him back to the lair, quite optimistic. Don now knew their names, and hopefully, his memory would return quickly!

"Master Splinter!" Leo shouted as they entered the lair.

Said mutant rat showed up in the 'living room'. "Yes, Leonardo?"

"Donnie knows our names know!" Leo then got Don's attention, where after he pointed to their Sensei. "Master Splinter."

"Master Splinter," Don repeated. "Splinter. Splinter. Vilket kul namn!" (1) He smiled happily.

"… He hasn't gone back to English, though," Raph told Master Splinter.

"I see."

In that moment, the door opened, and an upset April O'Neil rushed in. She threw a thick book from one end of the room to the other, hitting Mikey in the head.

"OUCH!"

The turtles' friend didn't even notice. Her face reminded them of a thundercloud, here eyes were shooting daggers, her hair was tousled and it was pretty clear that what she needed was a nice cup of tea, relaxing music and a little nap… or a handful of tranquillizers.

"I have never been so humiliated in my entire life!"

Raph, Leo and Splinter looked at her, confused as shell. Mikey didn't, since he was busy rubbing his head and groaning, hoping to get someone's attention. Sure, it seemed as if everyone was focused on April, but it was worth a try.

"Wha…?" Leo started.

"That dictionary is crap! CRAP, I tell you! Do you know what happened?" April whirled around, glaring at them. "Do you know what happened!"

"Eh… No?" Raph tried.

"I was trying to use that cursed dictionary to talk to my aunt's new fiancé, and he just looked at me, as if I was a bucket of coffee grounds…"

Leo and Raph didn't really understand the metaphor, but decided not to object.

"… and then he said something in German and laughed at me! LAUGHED! He laughed at me, April O'Neil! Well, he won't get away with it! I'm gonna make him wish he was never born! I'm gonna make him crawl in the dirt on his bare knees and beg for forgiveness! I'm gonna make him eat worms and old Brussels's sprout! There'll be sprout spurting out of his ears and he'll be in pain, pain, PAIN! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

The four turtles and their father stared at the crazy woman running amok in their lair. They'd never seen April that unfocused and freaked out in their entire lives.

"Um… Miss O'Neil?" Splinter approached carefully.

"WHAT?"

"Would it feel a bit better if you had a nice cup of tea, listened to some relaxing music and had a little nap afterwards?"

April frowned. "Thanks, but no thanks. I got to start planning my revenge!"

"I see…"

Mikey had stopped hoping for some comfort and chocolate, and picked up the thick book which had caused the great bump on his head. "Hey guys! Here's that dictionary we need!"

"Really?" His two sane brothers came up to him.

"Yeah, look!"

"Well, what're we waiting for?" Raph exclaimed. "Let's go and have a chat with our Nordic bro!"

"Wait," Leo stopped him. "Maybe we should take a look in the dictionary first, you know, just to see what we're getting into." He took the book from Mikey and opened it. The first ten pages or so explained how to pronounce things and stuff. Leo read out loud: "'Pronunciation of the Swedish words: There are two kinds of tone in Swedish: the acute accent, or single-tone, and the grave accent, or double-tone. The acute accent is a falling tone, as in English beggar, calendar. It occurs in words of one syllable and in a few words of two or more syllables. In this dictionary the acute accent in words of two or more syllables with the stress on the first syllable is always indicated in the phonetic transcription. The grave accent, which is characteristic of the Swedish language, occurs in words of two or more syllables. It is also a falling tone, but the second syllable begins on a higher pitch than the first. The main stress usually lies on the first syllable and there is a strong secondary stress on the second syllable.'"

The three brothers stared first at book, then at each other, then at the book again.

"Say what?" Raph frowned, finally.

"Did you get any of that?" Mikey asked.

"No," Leo confessed. "Not a thing."

"Isn't it typical that the only family member who might be able to understand this mumbo-jumbo is the one that, for the moment, can't understand it?" Mike said.

"Oh, who the shell cares?" Raph exclaimed. "I say we give it a try without tryin' to figure out what the heck that was. It probably wasn't that important anyway."

"Uh huh."

Since April had calmed down – well, at least a little bit – Don had had no more entertainment. Now he was browsing his way through an IKEA catalogue which he'd found under the couch.

"Kanske den där fåtöljen," (2) he mumbled. "Fast i en annan färg. Beige är snyggt… men det är så svårt att få bort fläckar från beige möbler…" (3)

"Donatello?"

The purple-clad turtle looked up. "Vad är det?" (4)

His three brothers looked at each other, confused.

"Eh, just one second, Don." Leo held up one finger in a we'll-soon-be-back-gesture and sent Donatello an apologizing smile, while grabbing his two youngest brothers and dragging them a few meters away.

"We never decided what to say to him!" he hissed. "We got to come up with something!"

"So?" Raph shrugged. "How hard can it be? You don't have to take it all so serious!"

"Don't take it so serious! In case you haven't noticed, Raphael, this is a serious situation! Our own brother has gone nuts and…"

"Cool it down, guys! I know what to say!" Mikey said.

"What?" Raph grumbled.

Mikey put a green finger to page number 282. "Here: 'Pizza'. Everyone likes pizza, I'm sure even Swedes do. And look! It's even spelled the same!"

"…"

Leo sighed. "Mike, we cannot just walk up to him and say 'Hey Don, you know what? Pizza!' That just won't work."

"Why not?"

Raph cast a look over his shoulder – and made a face. "Guys? He's taken off again."

Donatello had indeed grown tired of waiting for the other three turtles to finish their little private chat, so he'd decided to take a look around. He wandered into the kitchen, where the strange red-haired lady sat, bent over a sheet of paper that she was furiously writing on, muttering to herself.

"I'll build a closet out of solid iron and lure my aunt's fiancé into it with a barrel of German beer. Then I drop it off a cliff! He'll never know what hit him! Bwahahahaha!"

Don cleared his throat. April looked up. "Oh, hi Don. I'm working on my Evil Revenge Plan of Doom. Do you want to help?"

Don stared at her hair curiously. "Förlåt en dum fråga, men är ditt hår naturligt rött eller har du färgat det?" (5)

April's eyes widened. When she started speaking, her voice shivered with anger. "First, that stinking little piece of German recycled potato peel laughs at me, and now you're making fun of me too by speaking gibberish? Don, I am disappointed!" She picked up a frying pan and waved it around. "Come here and I'll make turtle soup out of you!"

"Eeep!" Don made a dash for the door.

Leo, Raph and Mikey had just started looking for their brother, and were making their way towards the kitchen, when a green blur passed with the velocity of light.

"What was that?" Mike asked.

"I don't know," Leo said, "but it might have been Don."

"Oh."

The three slow turtles started to look for their brother again, when another blur whizzed past.

"What was that?"

"I don't know, but it might have been April."

They stood in silence for about 5, 143 seconds.

"Oh shell. WAIT, APRIL! DON'T KILL HIM!"

In the same second, in a mall not far away (ten meters up and 860 meters to the East, to be exactly), a 34 year-old man named Brian decided to quit his job as 'Santa'. He was one of all those people that each year dress up in a red coat and a white beard and sit at malls, with kids sitting on their laps, telling them what they want for Christmas.

But, as I said, Brian decided to quit. He had never before had to deal with a 150 pound grown-up man, dressed in some weird Japanese outfit, sitting on his lap behaving like a five year-old.

"And then I heard that my enemies had a laser gun, and I wanted one too, so I told the mad scientist at my own personal skyscraper to build one for me, and he said that he'd try, but I don't know if he can make it, so please, please, please, could you get me one for Christmas, Santa? Could you?"

'Get me out of here,' Brian thought desperately. 'Get me out of here, before I go crazy too!'

I do not know when I'll be able to update next time, because the summer holiday's on its way and we'll probably move from the city out to our summer cottage. I'll be able to bring my laptop, but I have no wireless internet… But who knows?

The brilliant, fantastic, great, wonderful Innocent Rebel has drawn some fanart from chapter two of this story! Follow this link and enjoy her awesome piece of art! www . photobucket . com / albums / h166 / kinderedspirit17 / DonnySS2 . jpg

1. I've said it before, I say it again; if you have any suggestions or ideas, tell me!

2. Splinter. Splinter. What a funny name!

3. Maybe that armchair.

4. But in another colour. Beige looks good… but it's so hard to get rid of spots on beige furniture…

5. What is it?

6. Excuse a dumb question, but is your hair naturally red or have you dyed it?