Police sirens and lights filled the evening air. There were yells and commands shouted back and forth by men in officer uniforms, but none were heard by Natalia. She stood with Olivia in her arms, one hand buried in her hair and the other tightly wrapped around her shoulders. Olivia's breath was coming in jagged rasps, her arms wrapped around Natalia's back and waist with a grip so strong she could barely breathe. Luckily, Natalia had no desire to breathe. She only wanted to feel the weight of the woman in her arms.
The world ignored them as they ignored the world. Even the snow, descending everywhere around them, seemed to catch in the wind and swirl away, allowing them this moment of solace. After long moments, Natalia leaned her head back and attempted to look into Olivia's eyes. Feeling the weight of Natalia's gaze, Olivia slowly opened her eyes. She blinked a few times and felt tears of relief begin to make their way to the surface.
"I don't know what I would have done…" Olivia started to say in a trembling voice.
"Shhh," Natalia said, pressing a cold finger to Olivia's bottom lip.
Olivia closed her eyes against the tears that were now fully formed and falling from her eyes. She pressed her lips to the finger and whispered, "I love you," against it.
Natalia leaned in and laid her lips gently onto the crying woman's mouth. Olivia whimpered at the contact and pressed her entire body forward. Tears rolled down her face as she slowly moved her lips against Natalia's. The kiss was needy and desperate and Olivia's breath kept catching in her throat from the tears. Natalia sunk her hands deep into Olivia's hair and pulled their mouths together as tightly as she dared. She accepted the breath of every one of Olivia's choked sobs as if she could cleanse her pain by accepting it as her own.
Around them, the air literally hummed with noise and chaos, but they remained oblivious to it all. They didn't see as EMTs rushed past them, collecting Frank and putting him into an ambulance. They didn't hear when Frank yelled an obscenity into the cold air. None of it registered as they found solace in the arms of their love. None of it mattered. When their lips finally broke apart, they held each other and tried to calm the searing emotions that gripped their hearts. They stood for long moments, grasping and taking comfort in each other, until slowly, dimly, the world began to filter back in.
"Ms. Rivera and Ms. Spencer, please, I know you've been through a lot here, but I really must speak with you," said an impatient voice in the distance. Olivia opened her eyes and reluctantly released her grip on Natalia.
"Excuse me?" she said, forcing her voice steady.
"I apologize, but I need to ask some questions and get a statement. I need you both to come back to the station with me."
Olivia looked at him. She was having trouble understanding the words he was saying.
"Of course, officer." Natalia said and firmly took Olivia's hand. She leaned against the other woman and said softly, "Come on, sweetie. Let's get out of this snow before we freeze to death."
Olivia nodded and followed Natalia toward the police cruiser.
Olivia sat on a hard, plastic chair at the police station. She was aggravated. A tired Natalia sat next to her with a hand resting on her knee. Olivia had been finding comfort in that touch, but the aggravation was getting to be too much.
Suddenly, she lost all of her patience and popped out of the chair. "When do you gentleman think we'll be able to leave this hell hole?" she asked, taking long strides until she reached the desk of the officer who was handling their paper work.
"Uhm." He looked up at her slowly and she wondered if his brain was as slow as his movements. "I'm just about finished. Then we'll need your signatures."
Olivia heaved a sigh and turned back around. "Useless," she muttered as she stalked back to the chair.
Before she reached the chair, she heard the voice of her daughter from the far side of the room. She turned toward it.
"Mommy!" Emma called and raced toward Olivia.
"Hello there, my jellybean," Olivia said, happiness and relief evident in her voice. She bent down and Emma squeezed her in a tight hug. "I've missed you so much."
"Me too! Daddy wanted to see if you were okay so we came to find you."
Olivia looked up at Philip who was silently standing several feet away. He smiled and shrugged a bit.
"When did you become a good guy?" she said reluctantly and stood up.
"Thank you for taking care of her, Philip," Natalia said as she stood up from her chair and walked toward Olivia. As soon as she was close enough, she reached down to take Olivia's hand in hers.
"It was my pleasure," Philip said and had to chuckle a bit at the picture before him. Olivia was standing tall with Emma in one hand and Natalia in the other. He could almost feel the strength of their family bond physically hitting him. How in the hell did Frank Cooper think he had a chance against this? "I'm just sorry we weren't here earlier. I had to call in a few favors to get the roads cleared." He held up his Blackberry, waved it a little, and smirked.
"We got to drive right behind the snow plow the whole time!" Emma said.
Olivia had to laugh. "I suppose being a Spaulding has its benefits."
Philip smirked again and nodded. "By the time you get home you'll have dry firewood on your porch, and men will be at your home Monday morning to fix your power lines."
"Oh, Philip, you don't have to…" Natalia began.
"It's the least I can do, Natalia."
"Got that right," Olivia muttered and Natalia elbowed her. "Thank you," she said reluctantly.
Philip chuckled at the interaction. He never thought he'd see the day someone could make Olivia Spencer be polite with the nudge of an elbow.
They all turned to look as they heard a door slam open to the side of them. Buzz walked in quickly. "Olivia! Natalia! I'm so sorry about what happened. I should never have let him…"
"Hey Buzz, calm down, it's okay now," Olivia said, walking toward the man.
He shook his head and grabbed her hands. "No! I knew how upset he was. I tried to call but the phones…"
"Really, Buzz, it's okay," Natalia said, sliding next to Olivia once more. "We know you walked all the way here just to alert the police, and we're so grateful. That must have been hard for you."
He nodded sadly. "I would have been back here sooner, but I had to see Frank."
"How is he?" Natalia asked. "I still can't believe I hurt him like that. I feel so, so terrible."
Olivia stared at her with a look of unabashed wonder. "He had an axe pressed inches from your face, Natalia! He's lucky he's still alive," she said, anger filling her instantly and forcefully.
Natalia reached up and cupped Olivia's chin to steady her. "Olivia…" She waited until Olivia was looking into her eyes before she continued. "Frank's just lost right now. I know what he did was almost unforgiveable, but we have to trust he's a good man deep down. I have to believe that. I know you believe it too." Olivia nodded reluctantly and sighed.
"He is!" Buzz said, emotion filling his voice. "I talked to him at the hospital and he couldn't stop apologizing. He was so upset." He shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. He spent so much of his life waiting for someone like Natalia. He was so happy, and when he lost her… he just lost it."
"Ya think?" Olivia said sharply. Natalia nudged her almost painfully.
Buzz sat heavily down onto a blue plastic chair. "And I still can't help feeling this is partly my fault. If there's anything I can do… please, just ask." He looked pleadingly up at Natalia and Olivia, but both women just shook their heads.
"It's not your fault, Buzz. He was going to find out eventually. This storm just broke down all communication and everything spun out of control. We're all here now. We're all safe. That's all that matters," Natalia said, linking her arm through Olivia's.
Emma walked over to Buzz and sat down next to him.
"Hi Buzz!" she said. "Can we play cards again?"
Buzz laughed and put an arm around her. "I don't have any cards, sweetie."
"Awww, darn! You play cards better than my mommies."
Olivia laughed, grateful for the interruption. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to forget the events of the day. "So you're a card shark now, Buzz?"
"I have many skills," Buzz said, keeping a serious look on his face.
Olivia laughed again. "I won't deny that."
"I'm hungry, mommy," Emma said after a few moments.
"Okay, baby, I think we'll be able to leave soon."
"Can we go to Company for dinner? I want Buzz Burgers!" Emma said, happily swinging her legs against the blue chair.
Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose. The last thing she wanted in this world was to see Company again today.
"I could take her for food and keep her for the night if you want," Buzz said tentatively. "I'm sure you two need some down time, and I could teach Emma a few of my many card skills." He looked down at the little girl beside her. "Would you like that?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh, I don't know," Olivia said, reluctant to have any part of her family away from her right now.
Natalia's grip on Olivia's arm tightened suddenly. "Remember, the heat's out. Perhaps it would be for the best? The fireplace can only do so much," she said and ran a hand down the length of Olivia's arm.
"May I join you two for dinner?" Philip asked, cautiously taking a few steps forward.
"Daddy! Yaaay! Can I go, mommy?"
Olivia groaned in defeat. "Well, I can't fight all of you, can I?"
"Yaaay!" Emma said happily.
"Home," Olivia said with a relieved sigh as she walked through the door of the farmhouse.
"Home alone," Natalia said with a grin as she brushed past Olivia, her hand lingering for a moment on the other woman's waist. "And cold!" she said abruptly, feeling how the temperature had plummeted in the house. "It's like ice in here."
"Ugh, don't ever say the word ice around me again. I'll go start the fire."
"And I'll go get every blanket in the entire house," Natalia said with a laugh.
A time later, Olivia was poking the beginnings of a fire when she heard Natalia stumbling down the stairs. She looked up and saw Natalia with a stack of blankets in her arms piled so high they reached higher than her head.
"What did you do? Rob a blanket store?"
Natalia stepped carefully around furniture and dumped all the blankets onto the floor in front of the fire.
"Yep. Just call me the Blanket Bandit," Natalia quipped back and stuck a tongue out at Olivia.
"I like the alliteration in that. You could wear a black ski mask and outfit and make people call you the Black Blanket Bandit."
Natalia laughed and rolled her eyes. "That wouldn't work. People would spend too much time saying, 'say that three times fast,' when they talked about me."
Olivia laughed harder. "Hell, if you had given me about two more seconds I would have said it too."
Natalia shook her head. "How did I know that?" She bent down and began opening blankets and positioning them on the floor.
Olivia watched her for a moment. "No fair. You look warm." Natalia had changed into pajamas and a long, thick sweater.
She glanced up. "You too could be warm if you changed your clothes."
"Preposterous."
"Strange but true, my love. Why don't you go do that and I'll see if we have any food. I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
Olivia agreed and headed upstairs. Once in her bedroom, she slowly changed her clothes, feeling the weariness of the day's events beginning to take their toll on her muscles. She was cold and eager to get back downstairs to the fire, the blankets… Natalia.
On her way out, she glanced into the mirror and groaned. "God, I look like shit," she muttered and ran a hand through her hair. Olivia knew she was an attractive woman, but she was also painfully aware she wasn't twenty-five anymore. She leaned forward and rubbed at the makeup that was little more than a smear around her eyes. "Gotta get this shit off," she muttered again and stalked off to the bathroom.
After washing the makeup off, she stood and frowned at the face that returned her gaze. She used to like her face without makeup. Normally, she still did. She liked seeing herself without any masks even if it wasn't pretty, but today it looked to her as if the weariness of a hundred sleepless nights had over taken her. She sees this when she kisses me, she thought to herself and her eyes drifted shut as a sigh escaped her throat. She dipped her head and leaned to brace her hands on the sink.
"Olivia?" came a gentle voice from behind her. Natalia had come upstairs to collect more pillows when she heard Olivia's sad sigh come drifting through a partially closed bathroom door. She pushed the door open fully and moved inside. "Are you alright?"
Olivia lifted her head and looked at the other woman in the mirror. Their eyes locked and Natalia moved behind her with a smile. She placed her arms around the Olivia's waist and pressed into her back. Olivia watched as her eyes drifted shut with the contact and a small, dimpled smile spread across her face.
"I'm fine. Just wondering when I started to look like I got attacked by a pack of wild animals."
Natalia opened her eyes and gazed at Olivia like she'd lost her mind. "You are so beautiful," she said slowly, emphasizing each word as if there was no possible way she could ever convey everything she meant with the simple phrase. "It takes my breath away every time I look at you. And it's not just your physical beauty, Olivia. When I look at you, when I think about you, every aspect of your heart and soul… all I see, all I experience when I'm with you is beauty."
Olivia took a deep breath, opened her mouth, and began to reply. But before any words could come out, she faltered and shut her mouth again.
Natalia reached a hand up and ran her fingers gently through Olivia's hair. Her eyes never left Olivia's as she leaned in and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss against the lobe of her ear. She laid her hands flat against Olivia's stomach and pressed their bodies more firmly together. "I need you to believe me," she said in a low whisper, her eyes still never leaving Olivia's.
Olivia nodded almost imperceptibly and leaned into Natalia's body as she willed the words to sink in. She knew Natalia meant them, she could feel the truth in them, and she wanted to accept them, but she could also feel the words bouncing off the walls she'd built around her heart throughout her life. Countless men had called her beautiful as a way to manipulate her. She wanted to let Natalia's words in, but she also knew accepting them would break down those final barriers, and then Natalia would own the power to shatter her heart into a million pieces. She shivered at the thought.
"Are you cold? We should go downstairs," Natalia said when she felt Olivia shiver. She knew she hadn't quite reached Olivia with her words, but also knew standing in a cold bathroom wasn't going to get them anywhere.
Olivia swallowed hard and nodded.
Natalia stole a few more moments of having Olivia in her arms before saying, "I'll never get enough of holding you," and pressed a tiny kiss into her neck. "Let's go downstairs so I can hold you in front of the warm fire."
Olivia released the ghost of a smile and turned around to face Natalia.
"Did you find food?" she asked, finally finding her voice again.
"You'll see," Natalia said with the quirk of an eyebrow and led Olivia down the stairs with her.
When they reached the fireplace, where Natalia had spread blankets and pillows into a wonderfully comfortable looking nest, Olivia began laughing loudly.
"Are you serious?" she said and pulled a sheepish Natalia in her arms. Sitting on a large plate in the middle of the blanket was a package of hot dogs and a package of hot dog buns. Bottles of ketchup and mustard leaned beside it. Two long sticks were laid out on the fireplace hearth.
Natalia shrugged and smiled. She was hoping desperately that this would be the kind of reaction she'd receive from Olivia, and felt her entire body light up with happiness and relief when she heard that loud, solid laugh rise up from deep within Olivia. "I thought it would be fun. After today, I figured we could use a little fun."
"You are adorable," Olivia said, her laughter subsiding. She'd expected cheese and crackers at best, but somehow Natalia had surprised her again. No one had the power to surprise her as much as this woman.
"Let's eat. I'm starving," Natalia said and pulled Olivia down into the blankets.
They talked and laughed easily as they roasted hot dogs over the crackling fire. Olivia kept asking Natalia where she got perfect hot dog roasting sticks on such short notice, but Natalia refused to give up her secret. Almost a half hour passed with easy banter drifting back and forth between them, and by the time they were filled with food they both felt as if a huge weight had melted from their shoulders.
"I'll take this stuff back into the kitchen," Natalia said when they were done.
"Mmrmm," Olivia protested weakly. She had already leaned back into a pile of pillows and closed her eyes. "I can."
"I'll be right back," Natalia said with a chuckle and collected up the plates.
When she returned, she expected to see Olivia dozing, but as she neared the blankets Olivia lifted her hand up and reached toward her. "I was getting lonely," she said, her voice rising up in that soft flirtatious tone that Natalia loved and had no power to resist. Natalia took her hand and was pulled effortlessly down.
"You seem comfortable," Natalia said, settling in beside her.
"Mmm, I am. Warm too." She pulled Natalia close, wrapping both arms around her.
"Warm," Natalia murmured in agreement and snuggled closer. Olivia was indeed extremely warm, and after experiencing the chill of the kitchen, the heat from Olivia's body seemed like it was arcing into her own body like an electrical current - an electrical current that was winding through her veins and touching every one of her most intimate, sensitive areas. She almost began rolling her hips against Olivia's side, losing herself in the contact and warmth. She closed her eyes tightly and held her breath for a moment. She needed to control herself. It was like Olivia had the power to spark flames in her without ever striking a match.
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked when she felt Natalia stop breathing.
"I'm trying to resist you."
Olivia chuckled. "Why would you do something so futile?" She leaned close to Natalia's forehead and pressed a kiss against it.
"Don't you think we should talk about today?"
Olivia released a long sigh. "We should, but I don't want to."
"I never want to see that gun in your hand again," Natalia said, lifting her body up a little so she could look into Olivia's eyes. "If you had pulled that trigger…" She shook her head. "I would have lost you."
Olivia sighed again and shifted her eyes until she was staring at the fire. "I did what I thought I needed to do."
"No, Olivia. Don't you understand? If you had shot that gun I would have lost you not only physically – you'd be in jail right now – but spiritually and mentally as well. You are such a good person, Olivia. And whether you accept it or not, that goodness makes you fragile." She reached up and laid her hand on Olivia's chest, covering the area where she knew a deep scar marred her skin. "Hurting Frank, possibly killing Frank… that would have broken you."
"I'm already broken," Olivia said, still avoiding eye contact.
"No. You are not," Natalia said firmly and reached up to turn Olivia's face until their eyes met. "You're fully intact, Olivia Spencer. Maybe people have made you feel that way, or even told you that you were, but I see the truth." Her hand slid back down to Olivia's chest. "I know the truth. I know you're kind and gentle and beautiful in every way."
Olivia's eyes slid shut. She shook her head. "No, Natalia. You… it's like you have this idealized picture of me in your head. I can be dark and hard and downright mean. That's who I am. You've accused me of it yourself."
"Olivia." Natalia raised her body up until she was almost in a sitting position. She lowered her hand until it was pressing on Olivia's stomach. "Do you really think, after all we've been through, that I see you as some sort of perfect angel? I know all about your flaws, and I know you probably have more than your fair share of them." She shook her head and glanced into the heavens, briefing sending up a prayer for patience. "I love you in spite of all that. No… I love you because of all of that. I love that fire inside of you that makes you want to fight at all costs even if the fight may be a misguided one. I love it." She poked Olivia's stomach to reiterate the point. "It makes me feel safe when I'm with you. I know that stubborn, downright mean part of you will always be there to protect me and our family. That doesn't mean I ever want to see you with that gun again, but I do love it all, and I love you because of it."
Olivia frowned and opened her mouth to speak.
Natalia cut her off. "You'll never be able to convince me of anything different, so don't even try."
Olivia looked at her for a long moment. Eventually, she let out a defeated sigh and reached her arms up toward Natalia's now sitting body. "Come here," she said, pulling Natalia back into her arms. She held her for a moment before speaking, listening to the crackling of the fire, and finding strength in the contact. Eventually, she said, "I need you to know that it's all because of you." She felt Natalia shake her head. "Okay. Maybe I do have some spark of good inside of me, but every minute I've spent with you has made me a better person. Every time I see you, it makes me want to be a better person. You don't know how lost I would be without you, Natalia." Emotion filled her voice and she blinked away tears.
Natalia reached up and placed her hand on Olivia's chest again. Olivia reached her own hand up and covered Natalia's fingers, pressing them harder onto her chest.
"Can you feel my heart beating?" Olivia whispered.
"Yes." Natalia moved her fingers in slow circles over the scar on Olivia's chest.
"That's not my heart."
"Of course it is, Olivia. Don't ever…"
"It's yours, Natalia. I think has been for a long time now." Olivia's voice broke and tears spilled from her eyes. "Please don't break it."
Natalia lifted her body until her face was inches from Olivia's. She reached up and ran her fingers gently across the other woman's forehead, brushed away a piece of hair, and moved her hand downward until she was holding Olivia's cheek firmly in the palm of her hand.
"I will never hurt you," she said fiercely. "I promise." She wiped away a tear that was falling down Olivia's cheek. "Never."
"Kiss me," Olivia said, her voice barely audible.
Natalia leaned down and laid her lips upon Olivia's with a gentle reverence. The kiss felt like an answered prayer. Finally, after all the resistance, after all the drama and heartbreak, finally, they shared their love completely. Natalia slid her lips across Olivia's slowly, trying to empty every emotion she felt into the mouth that pressed back against hers so fiercely. She needed Olivia to know what she was feeling – to feel what she felt. She needed her to understand just how deeply she was loved. The more their lips met, the more her body ached with the need of it. She needed to ravage every inch of Olivia's flesh so every corner of her body knew just how much it was loved.
"I need you," Natalia said, her voice low and almost predatory.
"I'm yours," Olivia replied without hesitation and instantly felt Natalia's mouth descend upon the skin of her neck.