I do not own Naruto. If you ask me, i will ask you for a cheezburger.

Chapter VII: Return to Konoha Part II: Reacquaintance

Tsunade thought that she was dead. Or at least gone back in time. It wasn't possible. It just couldn't be possible. Naruto couldn't just be hanging from the ceiling, grinning like a goofball. It just couldn't be. It wasn't physically possible. Naruto just COULDN'T be just standing in front of her, grinning like a goofball.

She reached out one hand slowly, and when she felt flesh upon touching Naruto's chest, recoiled.

Naruto dropped from the ceiling and landed on his feet in a crouch. He straightened up just in time for him to see Tsunade's fist streaking towards him. He had expected as much.

Quickly reinforcing his own hands with chakra, he caught Tsunade's blow in both of his hands. However, her natural strength and the amount of chakra that she put in that blow surprised even him and completely overwhelmed his defenses.

With a yell, Naruto disappeared into a poof of smoke, only to reappear hanging outside the window. The sight of him still grinning like a goofball seemed to snap all the restraint that Tsunade had left.

With a savage yell, she dove straight though the open window and clobbered Naruto a good one. However, he popped into smoke again. Another clone, another couple notches upward for Tsunade's blood pressure.

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The real Naruto was standing on top of the Hokage Monument, staring over the village in daylight. The village hadn't really changed all that much since he had left all those years ago. Ichiraku's Ramen was still open, despite the loss of their best costumer. In fact, it was thriving. No long was it just a bar, but it had taken over half of the block, two stories, and had transformed into a formal restaurant with a formal upstairs and an informal ground level.

A wind blew past him, rustling his hair as he observed the rest of the village. From his vantage point, he could see the academy, where Iruka hopefully still taught. His old apartment building was still standing, although it was even shabbier now then when he had still lived there. He could also see the Hyuga and the now abandoned Uchiha compounds.

Seeing the village like this for the first time since before his training and the development of his new abilities made him think back to the time when he was a kid, back when the only thing that he had to worry about was Kyuubi breaking out and how to ask Sakura out without getting knocked out.

He had it so easy back then, realizing the thought for the thousandth time. Now he was older, far more powerful, but had secrets that far exceeded the Kyuubi. In fact, if his sensei was right, then even the Akatsuki leader might have to take a backseat to this new threat. It was more powerful then anything else in existence, including Kyuubi.

Kid… quit brooding over what might happen in the future. You're making my fur itch. Neither of us can do anything about it, and it may not even happen. If you don't stop, I'm going to start telling jokes again.

Naruto blanched and turned around just in time to see Tsunade charging out of the woods in front of him, killer intent clearly visible to the naked eye. He blanched again and threw a kunai as fast as he could away from Tsunade. He then reinforced his arms with chakra and raised them to intercept the blow that was coming.

Tsunade wasn't kidding. She was PISSED. After tearing through sixteen of his clones, she had literally ordered Hinata to tell her where the real one was. She had refused at first, but seeing the fate of the Hokage's desk, she quickly obliged and pointed her in the right direction.

She had just charged out the window sprinted toward the Hokage monument as quickly as she could muster. Ninja and Civilian alike were thrown up like dust in her wake as she got nearer and nearer to her goal in life; to sock Naruto as hard as she could possibly manage.

Her fist slammed into his crossed arms, and any ordinary person would have all of their bones shattered instantly, but the chakra prevented that. However, it didn't stop the rest of the massive energy throwing him hundreds of feet in the air.

Naruto made a modified seal with one hand and found himself standing inside her office. Within five seconds, Tsunade had flown back inside her office and sat down in her chair as if nothing had happened. She even pulled out a bottle of sake and a small cup, poured herself a drink, and motioned for him to sit down.

At this, he face vaulted and came up with a sweatdrop.

"Baachan, was that really necessary?"

Tsunade choked on her sake and sprayed a fine mist onto Naruto's face, who took a cloth he carried in his pocket and cleaned off his face.

"Baka, if it was up to me, I would have you slung by your entrails outside Kakashi's window just to make a point. But… the Third Hokage was rather strict in what was allowed to happen to you. I want a report on what has happened over these last few years, and I want them on paper."

Naruto gave another grin and bit his thumb, pulled out a scroll, and let a drop of blood fall on it. It instantly unsealed and he handed it over to Tsunade, who snatched it out of the air. "That's the unclassified information. I would give you more, but my mentor refused to let me release any more. I had to fight tooth and nail just to let that little bit get out. He's kinda paranoid, you see."

Tsunade nodded, and with a somber expression, handed Naruto a scroll. "This is a scroll that was supposed to be given to you on your eighteenth birthday. It comes from your parents. I assume that Jiriaya managed to tell you who your parents are?"

Naruto nodded and looked away. Whenever the topic of his parents was brought up, mostly by Kyuubi during meditation sessions, he grew immensely weary. He knew what they had to do to protect him and the village, but sometimes he wished that they hadn't and they might have lived a normal life.

"I'll read this letter when I'm ready to. Now, to another topic. Do you have a place for me to stay? I wouldn't mind going back to my old place, but tell me first so that I can at least send some clones back to start cleaning."

The Hokage smiled at this and reached inside her desk drawer for another scroll. "As you may or may not know, until your parents met, your father was the Number One target for fangirls. They chased him all over the place and even hounded him here at work. But he was always a bachelor. Naturally, your parents got a new place after they got married, but that's long since been torn down thanks to the damage seven years ago. However, his bachelor pad is still intact, and he left that to you. I've already got it cleaned up, so you can just head there."

Naruto nodded, and tried to speak, but Tsunade raised one hand and continued. "Now, we need to find out how far you've come in these last seven years. Kakashi will meet you at your old training grounds tomorrow at Seven AM, so be there by ten."

He gave a grin that sent shivers down Tsunade's spine. "I don't think that Kakashi-sensei will be enough to make me more then yawn now. I think that you should call Gai-Sensei, Kurenai-Sensei, Asuma-Sensei, Genma-san and even that crazy snake lady while you're at it. You might also want to come yourself to test me. Trust me; if Kakashi-sensei tries the bell test with me, they're going to be gone before he can leave his house."

Tsunade looked surprised, but hid it well. "Naruto… you're asking me to let you take on some of our best Jonin. I have no doubt that you've come far in these last seven years, but I don't think that Jiriaya could take on so many people and win."

Naruto shook his head. "No offense, Baachan, but I've become stronger then Jiriaya. Thanks to some… supplementary training from my other mentor, I have reawakened a lost technique. Actually, it may be smart to throw in the Konoha Eleven while you're planning my test. Trust me; you're going to need it."

Tsunade's jaw dropped at this point. "Naruto. Most of the Konoha Eleven have reached ANBU Captain Level, and not one is below Special Jonin. Do you honestly think that you can take on Nine Jonin, Nine ANBU, and a Kage and still win?"

Naruto gave a short laugh. "Those aren't odds that I would lose to. You have no idea how lopsided the fights were against me these last couple of years. Besides, I want to show them how far my power has come. People called me a demon? I'll prove'em wrong.

Tsunade just grimaced and nodded, imagining what he had gone through in his youth and these last couple of years. Before she could speak, he said, "Baachan, could you tell the rest of the Konoha Eleven to meet me in the stadium? I want to see how far they've come."

Before she could respond, he threw a Kunai out the window and disappeared after it. Tsunade just sighed. He's just like his father. At least he's grown well. I have a feeling that his fangirls clubs are going to rival his father's in size.

"Shizune!"

Shizune rushed into the room, Tonton in tow. "Yes, my lady?"

Tsunade downed another swig of sake before responding. "Gather the Konoha Eleven. Tell them to report to the Stadium. This is an S-Class mission, hired out by me. Tell them to report without delay, and if any of them aren't there in five minutes, I'll personally take their Ninja Status from them."

Shizune swallowed and backed out of the room before making several shadow clones that scurried off to retrieve the required people.

Five minutes later

Naruto was standing in the middle of the stadium, disguised as himself but behind sunglasses and a hat on his head. He was rather looking forward to this fight. He owed Neji and Kiba a beating, and he was just dying to see how far Lee had come. Of course, Shikamaru was still a threat, but if they worked together, they might be able to land a blow or two.

One by one, Figures started popping into the stands around him. Unconcerned, he just stood there until he counted ten figures standing in front of him.

Naruto took his hands out of his pockets, still looking at them from behind his sunglasses. "So, this is the famed Konoha Eleven? I only count ten of you." He noticed while he was saying this that Tenten, Ino, and Sakura were leaning in close to each other, talking quietly.

Ino apparently emerged as the victor, since she whispered loudly enough for everyone else to hear, "Back off, he's mine." This caused all the guys to sweatdrop and move away from her slightly and for Hinata to turn red with anger.

Naruto raised one hand in a mocking gesture. "Come on, where is the eleventh one of you? I want to be the first to defeat all of you in combat."

Lee yelled from his spot next to Sakura and Shikamaru, "MY FRIEND IS OFF TENDING TO HIS FLAMES OF YOUTH! WHEN WE NEXT MEET, I AM SURE THAT SPARKS OF YOUTH WILL FLY!"

Naruto sweatdropped. Well, at least Lee hadn't changed. However, the looks that the girls were giving him made him slightly nervous. Neji looked like his haughty self, Shikamaru was just staring at the clouds, and Choji was still stuffing his face, but now with beef jerky instead of chips.

Neji spoke up. "What are you up to? Your chakra is so weak that if one of us even touched you, you would die. What is the point of this? It is your destiny to lose."

Naruto's anger flared. "Apparently, the lesson taught to you by one Naruto Uzumaki seven years ago has not stuck."

Neji looked like he was just struck. "Fool… Let's just finish this quickly. If this baka is crazy enough to challenge us, then let us all fight.

Naruto extended both of his arms. "Well, then, just to be fair, I'm going to give each one of you a free hit."

Neji stepped forward, looking livid. "I'll make sure you regret that for the rest of your short life. NOW DIE!"

He charged forward, activating his Byakugan in the process. "Eight Trigrams: Two Hundred Fifty Six Palms!"

He started hitting at Naruto, who appeared to be standing still. However, none of the hits were connecting, not even when he hit the one hundred twenty eight levels. In the end, none of the hits connected and Neji backed off frustrated now. The others attacked with similar results. None of them could get in a solid hit. Or any sort of hit at all, for that matter. Despite the fact that he looked like he was standing still, he was actually moving too fast for the normal human eye to catch. The Sharingan would have no problems following him, but anyone else would have major trouble.

Naruto, looking bored, finally raised his hands. "Is this all you have to offer? Frankly, after hearing all about this group, I'm disappointed. Now, attack me with everything you have. Hold nothing back."

Neji charged forward again, but was held back by Lee's hand." Neji, do not bother yourself. He dodged your best Gentle Fist techniques. Let me go in first, and then once I win, you can have the honor of finishing him."

Neji nodded. "And should you fail?"

Lee gave his thumbs up pose. "THEN GET ME OUT OF THERE AND EVERYONE ELSE ATTACK!"

He stepped near Naruto, who smirked, knowing what was coming. "So, Lee, are you ready to lose?"

"I WILL NOT LOSE! THE FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE STRONGER THEN THAT! GATE OF OPENING, RELEASE!"

Naruto knew that if Lee opened the gates, he was preparing to do a lotus. This was mildly interesting.

"GATE OF REST, OPEN! GATE OF LIFE, OPEN! GATE OF PAIN OPEN! GATE OF CLOSING, OPEN! GATE OF JOY, OPEN! GATE OF SHOCK, OPEN!!!"

Naruto was only mildly surprised to see that he had opened seven of the eight gates. No doubt he could use them all, but he wasn't about to die here. However, seven gates on Lee was nothing to sneeze at, no matter what the situation.

Faster then the human eye could track, Lee was surging toward Naruto like a human bullet. For his part, he just reinforced his entire body with chakra. He was going to need it, if Lee was going to hit him with a Reverse Lotus; he had to be ready for it. Naruto had just finished when Lee's first blow hit.

Even with the chakra reinforcement, he still doubled up. Taking advantage of the opening, he was kicked into the air and Lee followed him there. In a series of lighting-fast blows, Naruto was hit by dozens of kicks and punches, each of which left a bruise, even on his skin. As the last blow hit, he could feel himself falling, and could see Lee's bandage curling around his waist.

He was slammed into the ground and was immediately hit again by Lee, this time; it was punches that seemed to shine with fireballs. The Morning Peacock attack. As he started to slow down, he gave one last kick and jumped out of the crater, panting.

"Yosh. I have done it. My own version of the lotus, MORNING LOTUS!" he then pitched forward and Sakura rushed forward to help.

Everyone else was looking at the crater left by Lee's attack. Clouds of dust were still billowing from where the spot was. They all knew that Lee had won, had improved himself and pushed himself to the point where he could develop his own version of the lotus. He had truly exceeded Neji. He had defeated the stranger when Neji couldn't.

Or so they thought.

A crunching sound made them all look up from staring at Neji. Naruto was walking out of the crater, clothes slightly ruffled, and his sunglasses cracked, but looking hardly like someone would expect after being hit by the Morning Peacock.

"Now that kinda hurt. Not bad, Lee, I figured as much. You have improved much in seven years… Is there anyone else who can do as much?"

Kiba stepped forward. "You asked for it, punk! Everyone, on three! Man Beast Clone!" he shouted.

Sakura got up from examining lee and cracked her fists. She drew a pair of gloves and, in Naruto's cracked sunglasses, he saw that she was charging them with Chakra.

Shikamaru got into his family's jutsu stance and began readying his shadow.

Ino raised her hands to her family's jutsu and began readying her mind.

Choji put away the bag of chips and huffed up to six times his regular size, human boulder ready.

Shino had a cloud of insects hovering near his body, ready to attack at any second.

Tenten got out three scrolls and wiped them in blood.

Hinata and Neji were both in Gentle Fist stances, arms held out and ready.

Kiba shouted again, "Ready, on three! One, two, three! Wolf Fang over Fang!"

Sakura punched the air and shouted, "Cherry Blossom Destruction!"

"Shadow Destruction no Jutsu!"

"Mind Destruction no Jutsu!"

"Super Human Boulder!"

"Parasitic Insects!"

"Dragon Scattering Destruction!"

Neji and Hinata shouted at the same time, though Hinata did it rather half-heartily, "Jyuken Arrow!"

Naruto simply smirked and did five seals, then raised his left arm, right hand cupped in a 'C' around the other wrist. "Phoenix Fire no Jutsu!"

Every single one of the attacks hit the now spiraling wall of fire was stopped. In this case, Kiba, Akamaru, Choji, and Shino's insects were sent flying backwards as they hit the wall of flames. Sakura's attack was absorbed; Shikamaru's and Ino's attacks hit the other person, respectively, Tenten's weapons bounced off and lost the string that allowed her to maneuver them, and Hinata's and Neji's Jyuken Arrows simply stuck in the wall, falling to the ground and dissipating when the firewall came down.

"How… How can you do that?" Ino asked, having finally returned to her own body.

Naruto smirked again. "That, I can tell you. But it would be easier to show you. Now," he said and raised one hand, palm up, "We will need," dozens of red dummies stood themselves up. "Training dummies. Back off, this is going to be a guessing game."

Everyone backed off and Naruto raised his other hand, two scrolls clutched in them. "Twin Rising Dragons! He shouted, and dozens of weapons flew out, destroying three of the dummies.

He got up close to one of the other dummies and shouted, "Eight Trigrams, Sixty-four palms!" and started hitting the dummy until it shattered under the force of his blows. Neji noticed that the blows were rather sloppy by Hyuga standards.

He crossed his arms, unleashed three of the gates, and used a reverse lotus on three of the dummies, which turned into dust. He then proceeded to use almost everyone else's basic form of their current jutsu, with the exception of Shino, since he didn't have any insects. They were all shocked and more confused at the end then they had been at the start of it.

By this time, only three dummies were left standing. Naruto raised his right hand and channeled chakra through it. Within seconds, the sound of birds started flowing through the stadium, and everyone knew what that attack was.

"Chidori, One Thousand Birds!"

He charged one of the dummies… and completely missed the target, instead slamming into the stadium wall. Everyone sweatdropped or face vaulted at this point. How could someone miss with the Chidori? This wasn't Kakashi; they knew that, since he had come to watch the show, squatting above them on the roof. That left only one other person who knew the Chidori. Sauske.

Naruto emerged from the cloud of dust, swearing. "Damn it, I always wind up missing! Just one jutsu left guys, then you can start guessing."

He raised one hand and started collecting spiraling chakra in it. In three seconds, a blue Rasengan sat in his palm. But he wasn't done. Adding wind elemental chakra, the Rasengan started making a noise that completely drowned out the noise of the Chidori before. It turned white, and four blade-arms emerged, resembling a shuriken.

Naruto jumped back and threw it at the last of the dummies shouting, "Wind Style, Rasenshuriken!"

With an explosion that could be felt for several miles, the Rasenshuriken detonated in the middle of the stadium, eating into the ground and the foundation. Needless to say, the dummies were destroyed.

Naruto landed lightly in front of everyone, whose jaws were hanging. What was that attack?

He spread his arms wide and asked, "Well, do you have any guesses?"

Sakura and Ino shouted, "Sauske!"

Naruto shouted right back at them, "Hell no! Do I look like that Emo Bastard?"

Shikamaru and Shino were still standing there, jaws hanging. It couldn't be Naruto. No way. He's not THAT strong.

Shino finally closed his mouth and walked next to Naruto and looked up at him. "It's been a while, hasn't it, Naruto?"

Everyone just looked at Shino as if he was crazy. Sakura was the first to respond. "Shino, have you lost it? That's not Naruto; he's too tall and good looking to be Naruto! Besides, he knows the Chidori, which means that Sauske has finally come back to us!"

Ino nodded. "Yeah, bug boy! And anyway, didn't the Hokage tell us herself that Naruto was dead?"

Shikamaru started forward and said, "It's definitely Naruto. Nobody else could have produced a Rasengan. Jiriaya only taught it to one person, and that's Naruto."

"What are you talking about? He didn't use a Rasengan! I'm telling you, that's Sauske!"

"You were too busy thinking about how to get Sauske after Naruto performed the Chidori. If you had been paying attention, you would have realized that the attack in his hand was blue for a moment before he added whatever he did to the mix. That's Naruto. Sauske isn't back, and I'm starting to think that he never will."

Both Ino and Sakura shouted, "Of course he'll be back, don't you ever dare say otherwise!"

Naruto stepped forward. "All right already, stop arguing already! You sound like you're still back at the academy. I'll show you who I am, ok?"

Kakashi jumped down from the roof to watch this. Every waited with bated breath to see who this person really was. (Of course, we all know that it's Naruto, but for the sake of the characters, please don't spoil it.)

He pushed the button on his sunglasses and pulled off his hat all in one motion. In front of them stood…

Kakashi paled and took a step backward. "S-S-Sensei?"

Naruto looked around in the true sunlight, unhindered by the sunglasses. "Kakashi-sensei? You look like you've seen a ghost. It's me, Naruto."

Everyone else took a step back too, shellshocked into silence. Standing in front of them was a clone of the Fourth Hokage, right down to the spiky blonde hair. But unlike his father, he was taller still. Nineteen years old and six foot two. A very solid build and blue eyes made for a heartbreaker. Of course, both Sakura and Ino had their eyes as hearts right now and were swooning over Naruto. Everyone else was just standing there, slowly regaining their composure.

Kakashi, however, was having trouble accepting that this was not his Sensei, miraculously returned from the dead. He walked over and poked Naruto in the chest, bit his thumb, and summoned Pakkun.

Pakkun sat there in the circle of people, when he spotted Naruto; he walked over and gave a sniff. With an almightily leap, he jumped up and landed on Naruto's head. "Long time no see, kid. Man, you've really grown."

Kakashi was still somewhat doubtful. "Pakkun, I know that I've never questioned your nose before, but are you sure that this is Naruto?"

"Who else would smell like three hundred different flavors of ramen?"

Everyone turned as one to look at Naruto.

"You've eaten THREE HUNDRED FLAVORS OF RAMEN?" Choji asked, amazed.

Naruto scratched the back of head sheepishly. "Actually, it's more like two thousand, but I haven't had most of them in years."

Sakura looked like she was going to throw up. "I haven't even had twenty bowls of ramen in my life…" she said weakly.

"Where did you find them? I must not lose to you in eating ramen, even if it is a futile attempt!" Choji's eyes had turned into flames and he was shaking in anticipation.

Naruto shrugged. "Most of them were at Ichiraku's. I know the owner really well, so I try his new flavors. Most of them taste funny, so he doesn't put them onto the menu."

By this time, everyone was just plain staring at Naruto. They all knew that he like ramen, but this was just plain ridiculous. Before they could voice their objections, Naruto jumped up and landed on the roof.

"I'm heading out now. If any of you want to talk, you'll find me at Ichiraku's. Be warned though, if you come, you're paying. Later."

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Author's Note:

Heyo.

Yeah, i said a week. Yeah, i said fangirls.

Sorry, neither will appear in this chapter.

Anyway, Fangirls will be appearing in the next chapter, which will be mostly humor. in fact, ive even got the name set.

Chapter VII: Return to Konoha Part III: Fangirl Corps

Anyway, until next time.

Xingster

P.S. REVIEW, OR ALL YOUR BASE WILL BELONG TO ME!!!