A/N: Hi everyone. :) Sorry for the delay, guys, but last weekend didn't mean a single day off for me, which is why it took me more time to finish this chapter. As usual, thanks to everyone who reviewed, subscribed and added my work to favorite stories. It's very inspiring. :)

We celebrate International Women's Day here in Ukraine today (March, 8th), and although I know it's celebrated not everywhere, congratulations to all the ladies out there. ;) We're awesome, right?

Special thanks: to my beta reader CreepingMuse – she's the best. (Everyone who hasn't checked out her story "Breaking Point" must do it asap. You don't know what you've been missing. Or any other story, actually, they're all great.)

I have nothing left,

And all I feel is this cruel wanting.

We've been falling for all this time,

And now I'm lost in paradise.

~ Evanescence, "Lost In Paradise" ~

"I know it's not easy for you right now," said Bonnie.

"Do you have any idea what this whole 'heightened senses' thing is like?" whispered Elena, looking away. "It's having a thousand emotions at once, threatening to tear me apart. It's uncomfortable – no, it drives me crazy, it's so powerful that I feel like screaming. I don't have desires anymore, I have urges. They are impossible to fight. But I can't give up all my feelings, because I'll lose the human part of me."

"I won't say I understand, because I don't." Elena raised her head to see that Bonnie was actually smiling. "But you'll figure it out. You're strong enough. If this is how you'll have to live, and if… he's the one you want, I'm with you. I know you'd be with me, too."

"Thank you." Elena smiled.

"Sisters, remember?" Bonnie winked. "Now tell me: any problem with the sun?" she joked.

Elena was thankful for the new subject. She knew Bonnie wasn't the one she needed to discuss her feelings with. It was nice, but it wasn't completely right. Not until she had another important conversation anyway.

She looked around and her gaze lingered on the thick curtains covering the window, not letting a single ray of sunlight penetrate into the room. The instinct of self-preservation and sheer curiosity battled for mere seconds before Elena rose to her feet, holding the blanket in its place with one hand, and made her way to the window. It was so hard to believe that the sun could harm her that she didn't even hesitate for long before slipping her other hand between the curtain and the wall.

The pain was nothing like touching a hot pan. It wasn't even like the only time she hadn't been careful with an iron. It was worse. Not even a second passed before Elena pulled her hand back and for the first time watched her reddened flesh heal.

"Ouch," commented Bonnie, and Elena glared at her with mock offense as she returned to the bed.

"Very helpful, oh almighty witch."

"Almighty or not, I have this for you." Bonnie reached in her pocket. "You've always loved the sun, I know."

Elena took the anklet from Bonnie's outstretched hand and smiled again. Bonnie had no idea how much it meant to her that her friend trusted her even when she was a vampire. She remembered how Bonnie had behaved when Caroline had turned, and that now she took it so well encouraged Elena more than anything Bonnie could have said.

"Thanks."

Vampire or not, she felt at ease around Bonnie. Elena had trusted her with everything throughout her life: great and embarrassing dates, family problems, things that she couldn't tell her mother, and things that she concealed even from Caroline. She should have known that Bonnie would always, always stand up for her.

The thoughts of Caroline reminded Elena of her 'funeral' the night before, and the fact that she hadn't even thought of her friend added to the guilt of missing her brother's departure. As a human Elena had liked to watch the lives of those around her: she hadn't exactly controlled them, but she had always needed to be sure they were all right, everything was going fine and nobody needed her help. Now this exaggerated sense of responsibility was crashing in on her already restless mind.

"How's Care?" she asked.

Bonnie let out the smallest of sighs, so quiet that only Elena's vampire hearing made it audible, and she immediately tensed.

"What's wrong?"

"You're not gonna like it. To be on the safe side, I'll say in advance that she's completely fine and alive."

"Why wouldn't she be alive and fine?" Elena's instincts frightened her almost as much as what could have happened to Caroline. She didn't feel the need to protect Caroline, no, that intense emotion wasn't about protecting. It had an evil nature: Elena wanted to find the one who had hurt her friend and kill him.

She was afraid of getting used to this impulse to cause pain.

"Tyler bit her."

"What? What happened?"

"Look, I wasn't there, so I'll just tell you what she told me earlier today. They were together in the forest. Tyler didn't even realize it was coming, it was all his sire bond to Klaus…"

Elena growled. She knew, had known for a while, that Tyler couldn't be trusted anymore. On the other hand, she was definitely not the one to give advice on how to deal with a boyfriend off the handle.

"How did she even survive? I mean, the bite-"

She swallowed hard, the memory of nearly losing Damon consuming her mind. Like it wasn't enough that she had to deal with new emotions, all the feelings imprinted in her memory became powerful like it had all happened a moment before.

"Klaus saved her."

Elena gaped at Bonnie, speechless.

"Wait, if Tyler did it because Klaus told him to… then why would Klaus save her? And what, he just walked in and offered her his wrist?" Elena shook her head. It sounded too insane to believe.

"Well, from what I gathered, that's pretty much what happened. He also made some sort of heart-rending speech before giving her the… cure." Bonnie cringed.

"That doesn't make sense," said Elena, taking a deep breath. "I mean, this is Klaus we're talking about. He's ruthless, he's evil to the core, there's not a single line he wouldn't cross to get what he wants. And he just spares Caroline's life? I don't believe it. There's got to be a reason."

Bonnie seemed to hesitate for a while before she spoke.

"He spared your life, too. I don't think it mattered to him that much if your condition was like you had died two minutes or two hours before. In other words, Klaus didn't need the spell he cast on you. Breaking it properly was the only chance to bring you back, and he gave us that chance."

"What game is he playing?" asked Elena, knowing Bonnie had no answer. Bonnie shrugged and stood up.

"I'll go see Caroline and try to figure it out."

Elena guessed that Bonnie considerately decided to leave the house, so she could be alone – well, almost alone. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire – no, urge – to see Damon. She clenched her fists so as not to run downstairs where she could hear him pacing, and focused on Bonnie, who was scarcely enough to provide the distraction from her urge.

"Do me a favor? Can you stop by my house on the way and bring my clothes here later? Damon won't leave me alone for five minutes, and it's not like I can go anywhere looking like this."

"Why, I'm sure nobody else would mind." Bonnie chuckled. "Sure, I'll get it."

Elena rolled her eyes dramatically, but giggled.

"Thanks."

Once the front door closed behind Bonnie, one of her urges became too much to suppress. Elena had been able to fight it only promising herself that she'd have time later. She would have time for Damon. Now she seemed to have run out of patience.

No. I'm stronger than that. I refuse to be an animal ruled by its instincts.

She was unsure if she could also refuse to be a woman ruled by her emotions.

Elena rose to her feet, discarding the blanket, and put her right foot on the bed, clasping the anklet in its place. She felt an incredible lightness in her body as she rushed to the window in a flash, moving the curtains aside to enjoy the warmth of the autumn sun. It didn't feel like she'd expected, though. There seemed to be a shield, hiding her from the sun: Elena could see the light dance on her skin, but there was no warmth. It was like she was standing in the shade.

She sighed, disappointed, but her ears didn't miss a whooshing sound – and then she felt him standing right behind her, a mere inch away. She heard the rhythmic beating of his heart and the quiet measured sound of his breathing, both already becoming her favorite sounds. Most importantly, there was finally the warmth she craved– only it didn't come from the sun. The simple intimacy of the near touch?

She and Damon could write an encyclopaedia on everything that could be made intimate, intentionally and otherwise.

Elena didn't say his name like she normally would, because that was not what she needed. Instead she turned around to be met by his intense gaze – she had no idea how those eyes of purest blue surprised her every time with a new force, but they did. Her hands rose to his cheeks, cupping his face like that night after Stefan's treachery at Homecoming. Only now Elena wasn't trying to comfort him – she was trying to ease the need she felt for his touch, at least a little, and it scared her. You can't control it, he had said, and she proved him wrong. She controlled everything, just not enough. Or maybe she controlled it too much.

She let her hands slide down, stopping at his upper arms to hold onto him, and her forehead dropped to his shoulder. He remained still, though Elena wanted – needed – to feel his hands on her waist, pressing her close to his body. The fabric of his T-shirt felt soft against her face, but it wasn't the softness she needed, and Elena turned her head a little to nestle her face to the side of his neck. His skin was so perfect against hers that she wanted them to stay like this forever. Almost.

"Hold me," she asked desperately. Normally she didn't like it when her voice came out like a plea, but now she was past caring. If she hadn't asked for that, she would have asked him to kiss her. Or something else. Damon didn't hesitate. His arms encircled her slender body, one hand rested on the small of her back, the other one on her shoulder blades. The warmth that Elena felt turned into overwhelming heat, and she welcomed it. It was right.

Damon thought it was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. Elena's hands, her touch, her closeness, were driving him insane, and he had to stay motionless, pretending that his body didn't react to her in every possible way. At the moment he couldn't let himself so much as caress her cheek or kiss her forehead. It was petty and selfish, but he didn't want to give her a single way out of this. He didn't want Elena to find an excuse later: to say that it was Damon who did something to cause this reaction. Sure, she was a young unstable vampire, but that only explained why she let it show. It didn't explain why she felt this way.

He didn't label her feelings, like she had asked.

"You heard everything," she whispered, and it wasn't a question. He nodded, knowing she'd feel the movement.

"Why did you decide that I didn't need it? Why did you take away that memory? You should've let me judge what I needed to know."

Her breath tickled his neck, and he reveled in the sensation while contemplating the answer.

"Would it have changed anything? It would've only added to your guilt. I can deal with my feelings on my own," he said a little sternly.

"But-"

"Elena, we shouldn't even talk about it." Damon pulled back to look her in the eye. "Not right now," he added, trying not to let himself be affected by the power of her chocolate brown eyes. Elena nodded, offering a smile that didn't touch her eyes. Damon hated that look: so broken, so devastated. He had to remind himself again that it was for her sake, that he couldn't take advantage of Elena when she was at her most vulnerable.

At that moment he'd give anything to see a smile on her face, and then an idea crossed his mind. He grinned, and Elena narrowed her eyes, seeing the familiar playful look on his face.

"What are you up to?"

"I'll show you, don't worry. You may want to wait for Bonnie, though. What I want you to see involves leaving the house, and as lovely as you look in my shirt, I'd rather nobody else saw you in it."

He actually laughed at her panicky face when she realized how she looked around him. Elena's gaze darted from the blanket she had left on the bed to Damon, and he could bet she would choose to cover herself in less than ten seconds.

"I think I'm almost feeling hungry," she said, and Damon stared at her, unused to being surprised. "I can't figure out if it's about food or blood."

"It's always both," he answered, and Elena sighed.

"Will you help me with..." she trailed off, not sure how to put it into words. He knew what she meant. Will you stand there and make sure I won't lose it? Will you help me stay a little human? He knew her better than anyone else, and he could imagine her thoughts as if she was screaming them out loud.

"Absolutely."

She walked out of the room first, and Damon couldn't help but appreciate again how she looked. No matter that it was silly and foolishly sentimental, he decided to memorize this moment as one of his small victories.

"Damon!" called Elena impatiently. His grin grew wider as he followed her downstairs.

A/N: Thanks for reading (if you're here for the first time) or sticking with the story (if you've already read the first chapters) - and for the sake of my writing inspiration and the holiday, leave me a review, please. ;)