Well, what do you know? First you don't get a life sign from me for six months, thus believing I shivered and died. Then, I surprise the shell out of you by posting two chapters in a row, just like that! (laughs evilly) Bwahahahahahahacoughcoughsputter

I have something important to tell you as well. In the beginning of the last chapter, I thanked CrazyRabidPony for some plot bunnies. I didn't realize my mistake until I read the reviews – it should've been RandomlyInsaneWhitePonyinstead! I thanked the wrong Pony! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!

A big thank you to RealityBreakGirl for helping me out with some language problems. Thanks Ally!

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT (not even any merchandise!) or Gröna Lund, neither do I own Skansen. If I did, I'd install more sprinklers at the place. I was there in 1998 and almost died from the heat.

Chapter 18: Fun and games at Djurgården, part 2

Karai raised a black, perfectly plucked eyebrow at Hun's question. "Mind your own business, you big oaf. Where's the Elite ninja?"

Hun scowled. "As if I'd tell you that."

Normally, I'd refer to this as 'a love quarrel', but since I not even in my wildest imagination – and you should know that my imagination is quite extreme – could see a Karai/Hun relationship happen, I won't. (In fact, I find it more likely that Karai and Leo would get together, but that's beside the point.) Let's instead call it 'a fight between rivals'. (Rivals for the title of Goal Champion of the annual Foot Cup in soccer, that is. What did you think I meant? Rivals for Shredder's favour?)

Anyway, just as this fight between rivals started to become exciting and maybe even satisfy your sadistic needs for some violence, number 1, 2 and 3 showed up in three puffs of smoke. "Mistress Karai! There you are!"

"Darn right I am. This had better be good, I was in the middle of a therapy session. My psychiatrist says that if I work hard, I might be declared mentally stable in a few years."

"… Yeah. Anyway," started number 1, "the reason we called was that your father has freaked." (AN: No, I didn't tell you about that particular phone call. I'd like to say that I kept it from you on purpose, but the truth is that I didn't come up with the idea until now.)

"What, again?" Karai sighed and rolled her eyes. "What is it this time? Cucumber?"

"No."

"Lemon drops?"

"I wish."

"Wait, don't say it – lobsters."

"A guinea pig."

"…"

"Named Prince Albert."

"…"

"With a thing for the colour pink."

"… This is worse than I thought."

"Yes, Mistress."

Karai looked around. "Hey… where's number 4?"

"He found Love and ditched us, Mistress."

Karai's eyes widened. "He… what?! Okay, that's it – there goes his Foot International Express card."

"Men Mäster Splinter, varför står vi här? Kan vi inte åka berg-och-dalbana? Du uppför dig jättekonstigt och jag fattar inte!" (1) Donny whined.

Raph growled. "Donny, for the last time – use the freakin' dictionary if ya wanna tell us somethin'!" He threw the dictionary and notebook complete with a pen and all at Don, who fumbled and dropped them. His brothers groaned.

"My sons! Try to look like mascots! We must leave the area without the Shredder noticing."

"Yes, Master."

Mikey raised a hand.

"Yes, Michelangelo?"

"How exactly does a mascot act, Master?"

Splinter frowned. "Well, I guess they are… jumping around… smiling at the children and ask them if they are having fun… or something."

Raph crossed his arms. "No offence, Sensei, but that doesn't sound very ninja-ish to me."

"Yeah well, we would blend in with the crowd, wouldn't we?" Leo said, agreeing with his Sensei as usual. "I think it is a great plan, Master." He bowed.

Raph sneered and Mikey patted his shoulder. Donatello started humming a lullaby to himself since he, as we all know, had turned from a genius into a village idiot in ten seconds flat and didn't understand a thing (AN: Not to say that all Swedes are village idiots. My uncle is an educating manger at a world-famous company and my cousin speaks five fluent languages, for example). "När Trollmor har lagt de elva små trollen och bundit fast dem i svansen, så sjunger hon sakta för elva små trollen de vackraste ord hon känner…" (2) He was ignored by his family.

"But Master, what if the Shredder and his minions recognize us?" Mikey asked. "They'll barely go for it."

"In that case, we will make a tactical retreat."

"Works with me."

Leo picked up the dictionary and notebook complete with a pen and all. He started writing a message to his brother. After a long five minutes, he handed it over:

Donatello, oss låtsades att vara maskots till gömma sig. Göra som vi. Inte springande iväg. (3)

Don raised an eye ridge. "Vet ni, ni behöver verkligen en kurs i grammatik." (4)

"ARGHHH!" Raph snatched the dictionary and notebook complete with a pen and all from Leonardo's grasp and pushed them into Donnie's hands. He pointed frenetically to them. "Write! Write, darnit!"

Don tilted his head, first to the left, then to the right and so to the left again. "Vänta lite… du vill att jag ska… skriva?" (5)

"Don't kill him, Raph," Leo said and prepared to restrain him together with Mikey. Their hot-headed brother had started panting in a very creepy way and looked as if he might have a stroke unless he got to strangle something within twenty seconds, or preferably faster. Leo, Mike and Splinter looked around for something that they could have Raphael beat the crap out of. They quickly decided on a stand with cotton candy, which seemed (temporarily) abandoned. They convinced themselves that the owner surely wouldn't miss it. As Leo said; "Cotton candy is overrated anyways." (Mikey didn't agree with him, but that's irrelevant.)

Splinter pointed to said stand. "Raphael, take out your anger on that stand over there."

Usually, Raph would've questioned the suggestion to destroy a stand selling cotton candy, but now he was so pissed off that he honestly didn't care. He rushed up the stand and started obliterating it while yelling obscene words that would've made Master Splinter ground him for a week, but the rat pretended not to hear. (AN: And I won't write those words here, in order to keep this story rated K+. My apologies for making you disappointed.)

"Anyway," Splinter turned to Leo, Mike and Don, "we better go into our roles immedia– Donatello, what are you doing?"

Donnie had been furiously scribbling on a piece of paper, which he now turned over to his father. The oldest and youngest turtles both tried to read over the rat's shoulder and started pushing each other to get the best position, not thinking of the fact that Splinter actually had two shoulders and that they therefore could read over one shoulder each. Stupid gits.

I wants to going for ride on roller-coaster. Why lets you me not doing that?

We can now note that Don shouldn't be the one talking about lousy grammar.

Splinter took the dictionary and notebook complete with a pen and all. "Leonardo, keep check on your brother as I write him a message."

Leonardo bowed to his Sensei and started staring at Don as his eyes narrowed. He also took a very pathetic pose that reminded of a very big hedgehog with very sharp teeth getting ready to pounce on a very small earthworm without any real teeth at all. The purple-clad turtle flinched, since he got the impression of being the very small earthworm without any real teeth at all being glared at by the very big hedgehog with very sharp teeth. "Hördu, det där ger mig en mycket obehaglig känsla. Lägg av!" (6)

His oldest brother frowned but didn't stop looking at him. Don took a step backwards. "Allvarligt talat, jag menar det. Du gör mig nervös. Sluta!" (7) Leo wouldn't do what he asked for. Don turned to his Sensei. "Mäster Splinter, Leonardo slutar inte stirra på mig! Säg åt honom!" (8) he whined. In that moment, his father stuck a note under his beak. He read, glad to be distracted from his older brother's freaky look.

Donatello, oss måste gömma så Shredder hitta oss inte. Åka berg-och-dalbana annan tid! (9)

This time, Donny seemed to give the shell about the grammar. He pouted and looked to Splinter with the closest he could come to puppy-dog eyes (or maybe the Michelangelo Method) and said "Snäääääääääääällaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" (10)

It was wasted on Splinter, however. The rat crossed his arms and looked at his second oldest with the universal expression of "The heck we will". Don's shoulders slumped. "Okej okej, då är vi väl maskotar då om det ska vara så himla nödvändigt." (11) He crossed his arms and kicked an empty soda can which barely missed Raphael's knee as the temperamental reptile came back from the cotton candy stand (that now looked like someone had dropped an atomic bomb on it). He was all smeared in cotton candy and Mikey tried not to laugh his shell off.

"You look like a snowman, but pink."

"Shut it, Mikey, othahwise I might have ta beat the crap outta you too."

Mikey held up his hands as if to say "Don't look at me, it was Leo's fault." The youngest turtle didn't stop smiling in a very suspicious way, though.

Don raised an eye ridge at his younger brother's appearance, but decided not to comment, maybe because of the fact that he had finally started to realize that he couldn't be understood by his family. (Or maybe not. Whatever, he can talk all the Swedish he likes, see if I care!)

"Now what, Sensei?" Raph asked, with Michelangelo giggling in the background.

Splinter sighed in a "do we really have to go through this again"-way. "Mascots, my sons. Mascots. Do you understand? I want you all to say it with me. What is our plan?"

"Mascots."

"Mascots."

"Mascots."

"Maskotar." (12)

Master Splinter exhaled. 'Finally, we're getting somewhere!'

"Now, where did you last see our lunatic of a master?"

"Your father –" started number 3, but was interrupted by his Mistress.

"Adoptive father. Don't forget that." Apparently, Karai wanted to make sure that everyone knew that even though she had been raised by the Shredder, she was in no way related to him. Well, at least not biologically.

"Your adoptive father was looking for the turtles and the rat together with Prince Albert… around here somewhere."

"'Around here somewhere'. You don't think you could be a little more precise?"

"No, Mistress."

"Great. Okay, spread out and search. The one that finds him will get an extra piece of cake next Friday when we're throwing a birthday party for all Foot soldiers born in December."

Elite guys number 1, 2 and 3 brightened and disappeared. Karai shook her head so her shining hair danced in the wind and her green eyes glittered. (Gee, I'm getting quite poetic now, don't you think? Nah, who am I kidding. I'm just satisfied with having brought Karai into the story so I'm writing some extra good things about her, even though she's never been my favourite character anyways, and I suck at writing serious stuff, so it only becomes pathetic in the end. I'm fully aware of the fact so you don't have to point it out… You know what? Just forget it and remember that this is placed in the parody genre.)

"So, where can my flipped out master have taken to? If I was him," – Karai frowned – "and followed a guinea pig around… On second thought, if I was a guinea pig, where would I go?" She tilted her head and thought.

And thought.

And thought.

At last, she sighed. "I seem to have problems getting into how a guinea pig thinks. I should meditate on the matter." She sat down on the spot – which was quite stupid considering she was at a place crowded with people – took the Lotus position, closed her eyes and started emptying her mind…

Half a minute later, Leonardo tripped over her.

So, what do you think? I'm not 100 per cent satisfied with this chapter myself, it doesn't seem that funny…

I hope you've understood by now that the grammar mistakes I put in the translations of the notes aren't the same in Swedish and English.

1. But Master Splinter, why are we standing here? Can't we go for a ride in the roller coaster? You're acting really weird and I don't get it!

2. When Mother Troll has put the eleven little trolls to bed and tied them to her tail, she slowly sings to the eleven little trolls the loveliest words she knows… (AN: A famous Swedish lullaby, my own translation. Thus, expect it to be totally wrong. If a Swedish reader has a better suggestion on how to translate it, please don't hesitate to tell me.)

3. Donatello, us pretended to being mascots to hiding us. Do as we. Not running away.

4. You know, you really need a grammar course.

5. Wait a sec… you want me to… write?

6. Listen, that gives me a very awkward feeling. Stop it!

7. Seriously, I mean it. You're making me nervous. Stop!

8. Master Splinter, Leonardo won't stop staring at me! Tell him off!

9. Donatello, us must hides so Shredder find we not. Another time go roller-coaster!

10. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?

11. All right all right, let's be mascots then if it is so freaking necessary.

12. Mascots. (AN: Well, duh.)