Don't be Scared Little Alchemist
Again- no spellchecker... it never re-appeared...
Sorry about how long I took with this one- lot's of school stuff like exams and stuff, but I eventually managed to find a little bit of spare time! Also, thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing, it means LOADS to me, so much it's actually pretty sad :D
Chapter 7
"I still don't get why I have to be there" protested Sydney as we stood outside my house. It was almost dark now- Eddie and Gareth would be up for sure, wondering where I was no doubt.
"Because if you're there then they'll be less likely to murder me- metaphorically speaking of course" I explained, regretting the discomfort that I brought to her face at the mention of 'murder'. In her mind, who knew what she thought Eddie and Gareth capable of doing!
This was it, the moment I was going to come clean to my guardians about my relationship with Sydney, to hell with the consequences.
"Still, I don't really know them and after all they're-"
"Dhampirs" I finished, "not vampires. They don't even drink blood, in case you didn't already know that." She still didn't look convinced, her worry hurt me. I turned to face her, taking her hands in reassurance.
"Sydney, I promise you that-"
"Well, well, well..." came a new voice from the doorway- unfortunatly pretty much the last voice I wanted to hear right now, one I knew like the back of my hand and had been living with for the past year or so. My nagging best friend. Eddie. Sydney visibly jumped about a mile high while I turned around to face him grudgingly, a snarky half smile on my lips. To be honest I'd seen his aura apporaching before he'd actually opened the door, I just thought he'd take longer to reach it.
"Okay" I chuckled, arms raised in surrender. "You caught me Eddison. Red handed." I made a sweeping gesture towards my lovely enemy-turned-girlfriend and continued with "we're dating. Problem?" To my surprise, Eddie's lecture launched into a totally different direction.
"Actually" he said, "right now I'm more concerned with the fact that you snuck out without a Guardian! What were you thinking!" I rolled my eyes at him, a trait I seemed to be picking up from Sydney.
"In the middle of the day" I countered, turning on my best sarcastic tone. "Last time I checked, Strigoi burn up in the sun. Besides- wouldn't you do the same for Mia?" Despite my obvious joking manner, I could practically feel Sydney's heart flutter through the contact of our hands as I compared her to Eddie's dearly loved girlfriend.
"Haven't you leared anything over the past few years?" Eddie asked, a condescending undertone to his words. "Humans are helping them! Surely you realised that when I got captured by them, when Rose got captured by them!" Playing the 'Rose Card'... not a smart move Castile, not smart at all. "Who's to say it wouldn't have happened to you?" he continued, "who's to say that you didn't endanger your life and Sydney's life by default?" Although her name was mentioned, the girl beside me remained as quiet as she always was in such situations. In fact- she was physically shaking, I could feel it through her hand that never let mine go.
"For crying out loud!" I countered, "you're the only one endangering her, you're scaring her to death with your stupid attitude. I'm old enough to take care of myself, at least in the day time. I may be Moroi but I'm not weak, I could take out any human any time!"
"Whatever Ivashkov" spat my 'less-likable-every-second' guardian. "It isn't the day now. It's night. Strigoi time. Get inside." His voice went deadpan and his eyes went cold- the face of a man who does not want to be fucked with.
"At least let me say goodbye to my girlfriend" I said, putting empasis on 'girlfriend' to further wind him up. He nodded, his facial features remaining blank, but he didn't leave. He was probably scared I'd run off again- where the hell had the trust gone in our friendship? To make my point even clearer I turned to face Sydney and pulled her in for a deep, passionate, lustful kiss, bringing her closer and closer to me as I did. It may've just been to irritate Eddie... but gosh was it good! For someone who'd been shaking in fright just seconds ago, Sydney responded alarmingly well, so well in fact that she caught me off gaurd, taking over, controlling the kiss in her own way. Her hands ran through my hair as she willingly pressed herself closer and closer to me and when we pulled apart, her face- not to mention her aura- had brightened considerably.
"Bye Adrian" she mumbled into my lips as she kissed me once again. I wasn't sure if this new found confidence was real or just to prove a point to my man-bitch of a guardian.
"Bye" I responded, turning to watch her walk back to her car. The way she walked- gracefully but with purpose- showed how strong and beautiful she was. She was stunning in the twilight, the half moon making her hair glimmer like liquid silver.
"Inside!" came a harsh, male voice, snapping me back into reality. I stormed into the house, pushing Eddie as hard as I could on my way past- difficult when the guy was probably twice my weight and strength. He barely stumbled back an inch.
"What exactly was that for?" he asked as he closed the door. He no longer sounded angry but a note of irritation lingered on in his voice.
I just cut straight to the point. "You don't control me" I shouted, staring him down as he did to me when he acted like he was superior. "Stop acting like I'm a child and you're my parent- I'm older than you! Quit telling me off when I've done something 'bad'. You're supposed to protect me, not run my life!"
"Well, sorry! I'll just let you wander off on your own without any form of defense whenever you please and see what happens, okay? Will that help keep you safe?" he responded, crossing his arms over his chest. He had a point.
"It's not so much what you do as how you do it" I reasoned, "it's the way you look down on me with your judgy little eyes, commanding me to obey you. You never used to be like this Eddie, we're best friends. You've only started acting this way since-"
"Since you started acting out like a bratty teenager"
"Since Sydney" I finished. "Don't even bother denying it. What the hell is your problem with her?" For a moment, he looked at a loss for words. We'd had this conversation, I knew his motives to dislike our relationship and had written them all off as stupid and superficial. He was clearly trying to come up with an argument that actually made sense and didn't just sound like he was obsessed with my already destroyed reputation getting even worse: 'Adrian Ivashkov- notorious alcholic, chain smoker and manwhore who drank blood from a dhampir when engaging in sexual activity (yeah that thing with Rose got around pretty quick...) and then dated her human/ Alchemist companion'- nice. Okay, so my reputation really sucked, but who was Eddie to be worrying about it when I didn't give a damn?
"You know" he began, lowering his voice considerably and shaking his head. "I don't even know." I just stared at him as he walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. This wasn't what I'd expected at all! "She's good for you, she makes you happy I can see that. It's just... what's everyone gonna think?"
"Who cares?" I countered, my voice also softening.
"Everyone- You're an Ivashkov! The largest and most famous royal family around! You-" Eddie's speech was cut off when my phone began to ring, flashing up with a number I hadn't seen in a very long time- 'Rose'.
"Hello" I said, the shock clearly showing in my voice, making it sound more like a question than a greeting. "What's up?"
"Adrian, I'm really sorry to bother you but I didn't know who else to call." She sounded panicked, I couldn't stand to hear her that way. "It's Lissa, I don't know what to do I thought she had everything under control but she didn't and now she's completely lost it and I don't know what to do anymore I didn't know anything was wrong cause I lost the bond cause stupid Tasha shot me and speaking of her, Christian's the one who found Lissa and it was really really bad lots and lots of blood and she wont come out of her room and-"
"Woah Woah, calm down" I soothed. She'd been talking so quickly it made my head spin, not even stopping for a second to breathe. "Slowley. Tell me exactly what happened."
"There's no time for 'slowley'" she replied, "please Adrian, just get here as quick as you can!"
"Okay." I hung up
"What was that about?" questioned Eddie, appearing to have all but completely forgotten our earlier fight.
"It's Lissa, she's... well I don't actually know, Rose was rambling" I explained, "go find Gareth, we have to leave- right now!"
The journey to the Royal court was a quick one, but it felt like a lifetime when I was worrying about Lissa. I know spirit seemed to take more of a toll on her than it did on me due to my 'self medication' but I didn't really understand just how bad it was. What had Rose said? Blood... lots of blood. My heart was pounding, every second we spent in the car was a second too long, a second that I wasn't helping out my 'cousin'. The mood in the car was tragic, even the weather was picking up on the sadness around us. It was starting to rain.
When we finally arrived, I all but sprinted over to the Queen's chambers, trying not to attract too much attention as I did so. The last thing I wanted was to be dragged into a long, boring, formal conversation with someone I'd probably rather not speak to. The light drizzle had turned into full on raindrops by now, pounding into me, no doubt ruining my hair even more than it had been before. Talk about a bad hair day- leave the house without even styling it and then get it drenched. All that aside though, I had bigger things to worry about. I reached Lissa's home in no time, Eddie and Gareth close behind me. When I knocked on the door it was Christian who answered.
"That was quick" he observed, moving to one side and letting us in. The urgency of the situation was clear, he didn't even offer any greetings to us, there was no time to catch up on what'd happened in the year we hadn't seen one another. Christian led us upstairs and along a long, winding corridor. The place was even bigger than I'd remembered from last time I was there. Eventually, we came accross Rose standing by a closed door and banging on it frantically.
"Lissa" she called, "Liss, open the door please." From a closer observation I could see tears in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks. She turned to face us when she noticed our presence. "Oh thank God" she breathed, "I still can't get her to come out. I was wondering if you could read her aura through the door or something, see how she's doing." There was a pleading note to her voice and a look in her eyes to match. How could I say no, especially when it was Lissa? First though, I needed answers.
"What even happened?" I asked, already beginning to get a sense of her aura. I hadn't been drinking or smoking lately due to my little romantic escape with Sydney, so I was completely in touch with my powers- usually a bad thing, but very helpful in situations like this!
"I found her in an alleyway before the sun even went down" spoke Christian in a low voice so as to not risk Lissa overhearing. "She'd reverted back to her depression she used to get when she was younger, before she understood her powers... but it was so much worse. She used to cut herself when she was sad to release the pain and supposedly reduce the effects of spirit but this time..." The boy looked down in a grimance, hiding his face in his thick black hair.
"She completely sliced her arms up" whispered Rose, "a little bit on her legs too, around the ankles. She had a knife, it wasn't just a little razorblade... not that I'm comfortable with her cutting at all of course." I didn't know what to say. Apparently I really hadn't known the extent of spirits effects on Lissa... this was beyond anything I could've imagined. It worried me, not just for her but for me as well. For the last couple of years I'd been feeling spirit increase, the power within me become greater, stronger. There was a point when Rose, Sydney and Dimitri were on the run from the law when I didn't think I could take it any longer, I felt myself slipping further and further into the madness. What if this could be me in a year or so- this year maybe?
Finally, I managed to interpret a her aura. Spirit users auras could sometimes be hard to read, what with all the gold filling them up.
"She's sad but she's not low enough to do anything like she did before" I stated simply, not really wanting to repeat what Rose and Christian had told me. "She feels bad about what she did, that it hurt you as well as herself."
"And is she okay?" asked Christian impatiently. He had a right to be impatient- this was his girlfriend we were talking about after all.
"Right now she is" I replied, "she just want's some privacy."
"She's been in there for over two hours!" exclaimed Rose, no longer trying to keep her voice down. "You need to talk to her Adrian. You understand this more than any of the rest of us ever could." Her face softened as she said this, clearly yearning for the days when her bond to Lissa would've helped her to sympathise with her.
"Okay" I stated, "just give me some time alone with her. I'll get her to talk."
"No compulsion" warned Rose, clearly not forgetting the brief times I'd used it on her in the past- not without good reason of course.
"Oh darn!" I exclaimed sarcastically, "I was gonna use this new trick I invented called 'do the impossible and somehow compel someone through a brick wall'."
"This isn't the time" she replied icily. She then headed off down the hallway, Christian in tow. I nodded to Eddie and Gareth to leave too and they followed along behind them.
"Lissa" I began, "incase you didn't hear all the commotion just then, it's Adrian." No response. "I can help you" I continued, "It doesn't have to be this way, we can fight through it together like we used to."
"No one can help" came a small, scared voice from the other side of the door. It killed me to hear such a level of fear in the voice of someone I loved, especially when I knew how she must've been feeling. I'd felt it too, but I could only imagine that right now, she felt it a million times worse than I ever had.
"I can" I insisted, keeping my tone soft, "just let me in. Please. Let me try." All was silent for a moment until I finally heard footsteps from the other side of the door. Gently, it swung open to reveal a messy haired, bloodshot eyed, tear stained Moroi queen. I couldn't help but notice the bandages tightly wrapping up her arms. She quickly ushered me inside and closed the door behind us. Her room was almost as much of a mess as she was- picture frames and vases smashed against the walls, tables and chairs flung around, her bedsheets littering the floor. I swiftly turned one of the fallen chairs into an upright position and sat down on it. I gestured for her to sit on her bed opposite me and she did as she was asked.
"So tell me" I began, trying to keep this as casual as possible. "Why didn't you let Rose and Christian in, but you let me in straight away?" Her answer was simple.
"You get it. They don't. They can't." It was true and yet another downside of spirit- it was so rare, very few people could fully understand the power it had over people.
"Why didn't you tell me when you visited me the other day?"
"I didn't want to worry you, I thought I could handle it. Clearly I can't" she admitted.
"I think you can" I countered, my voice as encouraging as I could manage to make it.
"Not without the bond" she replied with a solemn shake of her head.
"Hey" I said, my tone lighter. "I manage and that's saying something. You're a far stronger person than I'll ever be, Liss. If I can do this, then you can do it even better."
"You don't know that"
"I do" I insisted, "I know because I know you and I know that you're one of the most strong willed, determined people I've ever met. I mean- look where you are right now! You're the Queen for crying out loud! The youngest Queen in a long time too. If you can do that, then you're capable of controlling spirit." She seemed mildly comforted by my words but still appeared unsure. "Trust me" I said, giving her hands a quick, reassuring squeeze. A brief flicker of a smile crossed her features.
"There you go!" I exclaimed, flashing her a smile of my own and practically jumping out of my seat. "You coming?" I gestured for her to follow and she did so without hesitation, clearly drawing energy from what I hoped were inspiring words. She looked far from happy, but her spirits (no pun intended) appared to have lifted, at least a little. She could face the others. With that, I lead her back downstairs and into the thankful, awaiting arms of Christian and Rose, overjoyed to see her okay.
When I got home that night, I was still worried sick about her. All my usual thoughts of anything else vanished from my mind- all except my constant worries about my own spirit powers and where they might take me...
xx