AN: This chapter will reveal the truth about why Jacqueline is in their world. There isn't much anything else here. Hope you like it and make sense to you. The reviews were great. I know many of you wanted Damon and Jacq to kiss in the previous chapter. But I have better things planned for their first kiss. You guys just have to wait a bit for that. On with the story...
Chapter 26: Jenna's Barbecue And The Dream
Episode 'Memory Lane' of season two. That was the current timeline of the world of vampire diaries. A lot has happened within short time span. The kind of relationship I built up between me and Damon after my blunt confession to him, if I say that it's awkward, then it would be the understatement of the century. While I was pretending that everything was normal between us, like it was before when we were just friends and trying to avoid everything and anything romantic; Damon on the other hand wasn't letting go of a single chance to seduce me. It's sometimes so frustrating, trying to fight the sexual tension whenever Damon is around me. I just wanted to take things slow between us. As I was never in a relation with a guy before, I needed time to get used to of the mere concept of it let alone get all mushy over it right away. Besides, Damon and I weren't exactly a couple yet or in any kind of a relation. Last time I checked I am still fifteen and it would be so weird to go out together as a couple so soon. Not to mention no one would like it or even accept it for that matter. Therefore, even though I said I love him, I wanted our relation to remain on friendship statues for the time being.
But of course Damon had other plans. He didn't understand it at all or didn't want to understand it. Either way I was kind of going through hell. And more importantly Damon was enjoying every minute of it. He knew I was slowly but surely loosing my resistance power. Thankfully no one has noticed the changes between us yet. Stefan suspects it a bit but he didn't have any proof of what was going on between us. Besides, how could anyone prove anything because Damon still couldn't even kiss me yet. For which I kind of felt proud of myself. Resisting Damon and his seduction was anything but an easy job for me.
As I remembered correctly, Jenna was supposed to arrange for a barbecue and invited Mason for that. Obviously, I already knew who's idea it was and what is going to happen today at the small get together. I was prepared for everything. However what I wasn't prepared for was an urgent call from Caroline in the morning. She asked me to come over to her house quickly. I thought She must be paranoid by Katherine's latest visit and she wanted to talk to me about that. I entered the Forbes house in rush as soon as I got there and found Caroline pacing in the living room restlessly.
"What's wrong Caroline?" I asked with concern in my voice. Even though I had a guess about what could be wrong with her but I still pretended to be oblivion about it. Caroline sighed out in relief seeing me there.
"Thank god you came. Katherine showed up last night." She blurted out even though she was supposed to keep it a secret.
"What did she say?" I asked worriedly.
"She wants me to keep Elena busy today and away from the boarding house, so that she could spend time with Stefan. I have no idea what to do." Caroline looked positively scared and frustrated. I pulled her into a hug to comfort her and calmed her down as best as I could.
"Everything's gonna be okay, Care." I said to her with an assuring voice. We both settled on the couch to discuss the matter further.
"Should I warn Stefan about it? What if Katherine kills him?" Caroline asked with fear in her voice. She was worried about Stefan's safety with Katherine. Only if she knew that Katherine could kill anyone but not Stefan. Even the heartless bitch has a heart too.
"No, Caroline, you can't do that. You are gonna do exactly what you were told to do. You are in no position to challenge Katherine. She will really kill you without a second thought." I explained to her and Caroline nodded her head in understanding, however getting a little pale as well.
"But what about Stefan?" She asked with anxiousness.
"I don't think Katherine has planned to kill Stefan. She would have asked you to keep Damon away then, not Elena." I made my point and Caroline nodded in understanding.
"Yeah, I guess you are right. God I hate doing her dirty job" said Caroline and sighed out in frustration. "But how am I supposed to keep Elena away? You know how she is when it comes to Stefan."
"Just play it cool Care. I am sure we will find a way out of it soon. Just don't get on Katherine's bad side until then." I said and Caroline's face suddenly fell.
"What's wrong?" I asked frowning at her with confusion. Caroline looked up at me with sad eyes and said-
"I broke up with Matt." She said softly with sadness laced in her voice. Even though I knew this would have happened sooner or later but I still felt sad for Caroline.
"Why? I thought you guys were doing great. Did you loose control around him?" I asked acting surprised. Caroline nodded to that feeling miserable.
"It's not safe for him to be around me anymore. I mean who was I kidding with when I thought things could really work between me and Matt even if I am a vampire now. I should have broken up with him the minute I turned." Caroline laughed in sadness. I knew that this is how it is suppose to be according to the show. Caroline was supposed to break up with Matt and get closer to Tyler slowly. Then why didn't it feel right to me. I thought for a moment and decided to give Matt and Caroline one more chance. If still it doesn't work then I will help bring Caroline and Tyler together.
"Care, call Matt and ask him to come over here." I said and Caroline looked confusedly at me.
"What? Why?" She asked getting worked up about it right away.
"Because we are gonna tell him everything." I said to Caroline with normal tone of voice however her eyes went wide like a cartoon.
"You are kidding right" said Caroline with disbelieve in her voice but I shook my head with seriousness.
"I am serious Caroline. If Stefan and Elena could be a couple then why can't you and Matt be one. What if Matt accepts you too like Elena accepted Stefan. So this is what we are gonna do. We are gonna explain everything to him. We have to give him a chance to choose. If everything works out fine then good and if it goes terribly wrong, then you can always use compulsion on him." I could tell Caroline already liked the idea.
"Are you sure?" She asked for confirmation and I nodded vehemently.
"Absolutely. Now hurry up. We have a barbecue to catch up too." I said rushing Caroline to make the phone call. Caroline called Matt however with hesitation but he agreed to come over to her house. When Matt arrived he definitely wasn't in a good mood.
"What is it Caroline?" Matt asked rudely while standing on the porch.
"Please come in." Caroline said with a small smile and not really minding his rudeness. He was heartbroken after all. Matt entered the door and got confused immediately when he saw me there as well.
"Hey Matt." I greeted him with a grin. He frowned in confusion and asked-
"What is going on?" Matt looked between the two of us wondering what was going on. Caroline looked at me and I nodded to her. She took a deep breath first.
"Matt I called you here to confess something to you." As Caroline began to explain things, Matt jumped from one emotion to other. At first he was ignorant and didn't really believe anything at all. But then seeing Caroline's vampire face he was shocked at first and then scared as hell. After some explaining from me, he relaxed a bit, and then he started to understand things properly and even asked questions to us. Matt got angry when Viki's death came up. He was furious when he learned that Stefan and Damon killed her. And started hating vampires right away. It took a lot of explaining to make him understand the situation when Viki died. Even though Matt wasn't hating Caroline anymore he was still mad at the Salvatore brothers. Well I guess he has a right to be mad at them at least. He was also hurt that Elena knew everything all along and didn't tell him anything because for Matt, Elena was his best friend and didn't expect such betrayal from her. Moreover she is technically dating his sister's murderer right under his nose. And he knew nothing about it till now. After all the explanation ended none of us talked for a while and let Matt absorb all the things that he learned in such short time. It was not easy for anyone to handle things like these so fast. I cleared my throat to gain Matt's attention.
"Matt, you do realize that the only reason we told you all this, is because we wanted to give you a chance to choose things and not decide things for you." I said that like a mature person. Matt nodded reluctantly.
"I know, but this is all too much. I don't know what to choose anymore" said Matt. I sighed out a little, Caroline was tensed. I could see that. She was anticipating Matt's answer.
"Let me help you. First tell me do you really think that you can handle knowing the truth or do you want to forget all about this?" I asked and Matt thought for a moment about it.
"I want to remember it all. I am living in the world of supernaturals. It's best that I am at least aware of them" said Matt and I nodded to that. I looked at Caroline then since I was about to ask the most important question to Matt.
"What do you want to do with your relation with Caroline? Will you accept her as a vampire and love her like,... you used to?" I asked getting straight to the point. Matt sighed out heavily.
"I don't know. I am not sure what I want. I am sorry Caroline but I need time" answered Matt truthfully. Caroline walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay Matt. I understand you. You can take all the time you want. I have eternity to wait for you" said Caroline really meaning it. Matt nodded to her gratefully.
"You are not gonna avoid us like plagues from now on, are you?" I asked Matt narrowing my eyes at him to which he just chuckled and shook his head.
"No, I won't avoid anyone. You are still my friends" replied Matt and I nodded at him, glad that he decided that.
"Good."
"So, we can trust you that you won't go running to the Sheriff Forbes and tell her that her daughter is a vampire now." I asked just be on the safe side. Matt frowned angrily at me this time.
"Of course I won't do that. How can you even think that?" I wanted to tell him that that's exactly what you did before. But I just shrugged my shoulders at him.
"Because minutes ago you were hating vampires for killing Viki. How can we know that you are not gonna do something to take revenge on the Salvatore brothers?" I said frankly. Caroline looked at me with disapproving eyes. She didn't like it that I was doubting Matt like that. But it was needed to be done. We can't have Liz on our back so soon.
"Fine if you can't trust me with your secrets then compel me to forget everything." Matt said angrily. I thought for a moment.
"We are not gonna compel you to forget everything but we have to compel you nonetheless. Compel you not to say a word about this to anyone except for me and Caroline." And to my surprise Matt nodded to that and agreed to be compelled.
"Jacq, I think we can trust Matt" said Caroline not wanting to use compulsion on Matt. I shook my head at her.
"We can't take a chance." Caroline sighed out and compelled Matt.
"So, now what? I won't be able to talk to anyone about vampires but you two" asked Matt and both Caroline and I nodded at once. Matt sighed out heavily. After talking some more Matt left the house to go back to his work.
"Well things didn't go bad at all." I said when Caroline returned and dropped herself on the couch beside me.
"Do you think Matt and I will ever be the same as before." She asked doubting the possibility of it. I sighed to that.
"I don't know Caroline, I guess we have to just wait and watch." She nodded quietly. We sat in complete silence for a while. Then Caroline spoke up.
"Why didn't you tell Tyler anything yet? He already knows that Mason is a werewolf. Why aren't you telling him about vampires as well and that he has the werewolf genes too?" asked Caroline with curiosity. I took in a deep breathe.
"It's not my place to tell him anything Care. It's Mason's job. I will let him do it." I know Mason would tell Tyler about the curse soon. In the beginning I was sure that I wanted Tyler to turn but now after all this time, I am not sure anymore. I didn't want him to go through all that pain. But then he and Caroline would never come close if he doesn't trigger the curse. I have to think about it before deciding anything about it.
"What if Mason won't tell Tyler anything? Would you tell him then?" asked Caroline getting more interested in the topic. I shrugged my shoulders at her.
"Maybe, I mean it's not really possible to keep it a secret from a pregnant woman that she is having a baby." Caroline started laughing at my joke and chuckles escaped my lips too. Later, Caroline was driving me back to the house. Everyone else must have already arrived at the house for the barbecue party. On our way, we had to stop at a signal on the road. Caroline spotted a boy across the street and glared at him heatedly. Though he was looking another way and didn't really see us. I frowned in confusion at Caroline.
"Why are you glaring at that boy Care?" I asked with curiosity. She didn't stop glaring but answered me anyway.
"That's Tony Kenton, mom already arrested him twice. Think he got out again. Mom always believes in his false promises of not doing anything bad again and gives him a second chance at life. Well technically it is perhaps his fourth chance at life. Apparently because he is so young that mom can't bring herself to shoot him, no matter how bad he is" said vampire barbie and it was clear that Caroline hated that boy who was not so older than us. Did he do something to her?
"What did he do?" I asked with seriousness. There was no such character as Tony Kenton in the show. So, I had no idea at all.
"He is the local drugs dealer in Mystic Falls and all the other towns around. I am telling you these drugs peddlers are the worst kind of human beings possible. I mean I know I am a vampire and I have a urge to kill humans. But that's my natural, I mean supernatural nature. But these peddlers are humans. How can they bring themselves to sell other humans poisons just for some money in return and kill them so mercilessly. They are worse than vampires and werewolves. I mean they should be locked up in a cell for the rest of their lives for their lack of humanity or better yet shot dead. They are the ugliness of this world and life."
What Caroline was saying to me hit me like a fast train. I didn't want anything more than to just run out of the car and run far away from this place, from everyone at that moment. The hate that Caroline's voice gave away, it made my inside cold. After all she was saying the truth. Tony Kenton was the worst kind of human being possible and so was I once. I am no better than him, actually I was worse than him and deserved to be shot dead too. How could I forget that even if I am living in a world of fantasy at that time, where I am a good person. It didn't really change the fact that I wasn't the ugliness of life once. What if all the things happening right now is just a dream. What if I am dreaming it all up and I can wake up any moment to find out that I am still in my apartment lying on the couch and vampire diaries is running on the television screen. What if all of this is just a huge inception? Caroline's voice made me snap out of my thoughts.
"Jacq, what's wrong?" She asked and I looked confusedly at her.
"Nothing." I said quickly. But she frowned at me.
"You looked as if you were in pain suddenly" said Caroline and I quickly composed my face.
"No, no Care, I am fine." I said to her even though she was still looking at me worriedly.
"I am sorry I shouldn't have said all those thinks about Tony. I know Jeremy once got involved with drugs too. But trust me Jeremy is nothing like Tony. I will never think that. I think I magnified my hatred for Tony too as I turned into a vampire and blurted my hatred out to you. Otherwise I would have never brought it up in the first place." Caroline started to apologize. But, I shook my head to her, she thought that I was hurt because Jeremy once got addicted to drugs and I thought she was referring to him when it was completely a different cause that got me upset.
"I know you didn't mean anything about Jeremy. It's just what you said, it's very true. People like Tony should be punished without any mercy. They are just horrible and inhuman." And I am horrible and inhuman too. I said that to myself in my mind. Caroline nodded hesitantly and started driving again.
Soon we reached home and got inside the house. Alaric, Jenna, Damon and Mason were all there. Elena was there too. Both Damon and Mason looked at me. Though I avoided looking at any of them and went straight to my bedroom upstairs. My mind was buzzing with questions. All the people that I called my friends, what would they think of me if they ever found out the truth about me. Damon, the man I love, what would he think of me? Why am I here really? Why I was chosen to keep them safe and prevent their deaths? And how long it will last? How long I will get to stay here in this world? How long do I have to pretend to be something else, someone good? Because I am not good at all. How long do I have to lie to everyone around me about myself? How would they react to my true self, to my real life? I was sitting quietly on my bed but my mind was restless. I started taking in deep breaths to calm myself down somehow.
"Hey what's wrong? Are you okay?" Suddenly Damon's concerned voice spoke up from beside me. When I looked up I met with his worried eyes. I just nodded my head before looking away from him.
"Yeah everything's fine." I said. But Damon didn't buy it.
"No, you are not okay, what happened?" asked Damon with more pressure this time. He got more worried and looked so intensely at me as if he wanted to get inside my soul and search for the answer he was looking for. I opened my mouth to say something but then shut it again without saying a word. Honestly what could possibly I tell him but a bunch of more lies? It was better not to say anything at all and hope that he would leave me alone for the moment. However that never happened. Damon cupped my cheek and forced me to look at him again.
"Jacq what happened?" Damon asked with demanding tone of voice this time. I don't know what got into me but I just started talking.
"Today, Caroline and I told Matt everything about vampires, in the hope that he would accept Caroline just like Elena accepted Stefan. But he couldn't accept it and Caroline had to compel him to forget everything we told him." I told Damon. See whenever I speak I have to lie about at least something because I couldn't let Damon know that Matt knows everything now.
"Are you upset because they won't be together any more?" asked Damon trying to understand what was bothering me so much. I shook my head to that.
"No, I am not upset, I am scared." Yes I was scared but about something very different. I was scared that if they ever found out the truth about me while I am still here, they will never accept me like Matt couldn't accept Caroline. Damon frowned at me with huge confusion this time because he never heard me saying that I was scared. He kind of started freaking out.
"Why are you scared Jacq?" Damon asked me and he was actually brooding like Stefan.
"I know that for a vampire or a werewolf or anything supernatural, killing humans is a natural thing. It's part of who they are. But for a human, killing other humans is not only against humanity but an unforgivable sin. And I am scared thinking how everyone would react if they ever find out that I took lives. And not just one or two lives but hundreds. I am scared that I won't be accepted by anyone after they find out that. Not even by you." I confessed my guts out. Damon stared at me for a while then checked my forehead with the back of his hand.
"You don't seem to have any fever. Have you been drinking with Blondie?" asked Damon and I felt like breaking down in tears that moment. I was telling him the truth for the first time. Why can't he see that? I am a bloody murderer. Why can't Damon realize that? Am I too hard to read?
"I am serious Damon." I said strongly to which Damon rolled his eyes.
"What are you serious about, Jacq? You are scared that no one will accept you if anyone ever found out that you've killed hundreds of people. You? Are you even hearing yourself? The only one you can hurt is yourself. You don't have it in you to hurt someone else let alone take another person's life. What got into you really?" asked Damon and this time I frowned at him angrily.
"Just give me a straight answer, will you? What would you do if you ever find out that I am one of the worst kinds of human being alive?" I asked Damon while looking at him in the eye. He sighed out heavily and said-
"I am gonna go downstairs. We have a wolf in the house to entertain." Kissing the side of my head and without giving me an answer, Damon walked out of my room.
I closed my eyes shut. I wish he had told me. Give me an actual answer. Damon would probably hate me if he ever found out the truth about me. He would hate me more knowing that how I was playing with their lives at first when I came here in this world. Damon would absolutely loath me if he ever learned that I lied to him more than I took breaths. I couldn't stay in the house anymore. I needed to get out and go far away from everyone for a while. I rushed downstairs, thankfully everyone was in the living room playing games. I grabbed a bottle of beer off the counter and dashed out of the house. I stopped near the Mystic Falls garden and dropped myself on a bench. I opened the bottle and gulped down half of the drink at once. Hopefully it would make my pain go away for the moment. But it didn't help much. The pain only increased more and created a pressure in my chest that threatened to suffocate me to death. Without thinking of anything I broke the bottle which was obviously made out of glass and I stabbed the broken edge into my thigh with force. Instantly a loud scream escaped my chest and it released me from all the suffocation at once. The pain shot through my entire body and I went blind for a while. A white light hit my eyes and I couldn't see anything else, just heard some voices around me. I tried to concentrate on what the voices were saying. It was difficult at first but then I heard everything clearly. They were talking to me. They were saying things to me. I heard those voices before. In those dreams I had that I could never remember after waking up from sleep. Hopefully this time I will remember everything that I just learned.
"Are you fucking bloody crazy?" A voice snapped me out of my trance and brought me back to the fictional reality. I looked up to find Carter. The guy I saved in the carnival whom Caroline was supposed to kill. He quickly bent over and pulled out the broken bottle out of my leg. A painful cry came out of my mouth instantly.
"What were you thinking?" He yelled at me but I didn't say a word.
"Oh my god!" I heard another voice not from far. My head snapped up and I saw Bonnie standing there with horrified face. It seemed that she was hanging out with Carter, wow.
"You know her?" asked Carter. Bonnie came running over to me.
"Yes, she is my friend" replied Bonnie to him. She flinched seeing the wound.
"Well, your friend is either suicidal or has some mental issues. She stabbed herself with a broken bottle." Carter said and he showed Bonnie the broken piece of bottle that he had just pulled out of my leg. Bonnie gasped in horror and looked at me with terrified eyes.
"Jacq, what happened to you? Why did you do that?" She asked with disbelieve in her voice.
"I just wanted to make sure that I am not dreaming." I said slowly and softly. While it freaked out Bonnie more, Carter simply said-
"Do you want me to call the hospital or the mental hospital, Bonnie?" asked Carter and Bonnie glared at him to which he rolled his eyes.
"I will take care of her. You go ahead, I will meet you at the Grill later" said Bonnie and Carter left without any argument. Bonnie put her hand over my wound making me jump a bit. She started saying spells and within moments the wound was healed completely but the blood remained on my jeans.
"Thanks Bon." I said to her but she glared at me.
"What is going on Jacq? Do you know what you just did?" Bonnie scolded me first and then she went soft. "You know you can tell me anything. What's wrong? Did anyone hurt you by saying something?" asked Bonnie with concern in her voice. I shook my head to her.
"No, Bonnie, there is nothing to worry about. I don't know what got into me. But I am okay now. Relax." I tried to convince her but she looked worriedly at me for sometime more before nodding her head.
"Fine, if you say so. Come on I will take you home" said Bonnie but I really wanted to be alone that time.
"It's okay Bonnie, I will be okay. You don't have to walk me home. I am okay. I will see you later" saying that I got up and didn't give her a chance to say otherwise and walked away from her. When I was enough away from Bonnie, I slowed my pace of walking. I was glad that I stabbed myself. I don't know how this happened but because of that now I know why I am here and what do I have to do.
I remembered when I was lying on the couch back in my real life waiting for death, the only thing I was wishing for was another chance at life. I was wishing if I could take it all back that I ever did. I was wishing if I had a chance to save all the lives I took. I was wishing if I had a chance to be a better person. I wished I had someone to love and someone who loved me. I wished to have someone to care about me and not be alone anymore. By sending me here, life has given me that second chance. It allowed me an opportunity to do everything that I wished to do in my death bed. Alaric was right after all. This is really a second chance for me. And my quest is to save every single innocent life here. And prevent death of those who didn't deserve to die in the show. By doing so, I will be free from all the guilt that I had for killing people back in my other life. And I will be free from it's punishment too. My soul will be spared from burning in hell for eternity. But I can't stay here forever. I learned this now that as soon as all the innocent lives will be spared from death I will have to go back to my real life. Where I am already dead because I killed myself. Therefore once I am done here, I will just die and hopefully my soul will go somewhere peaceful and take rest. Because I already suffered enough in my life. I didn't want to suffer in my death too. I just hoped that I would succeed in my task. Because saving lives isn't gonna be an easy job to do from now on.
AN: I hope that wasn't too tricky and you guys understood it well. But if you have any confusion you are free to ask me. Please review guys. Next update at 200 review *wink* 'love you all'.