CHAPTER TWO.
Oh she's a moron.
She's the worlds biggest fool, Kate thinks as she paces the slowest moving elevator in the history of machinery. Because she just...blurted it out. No thought no planning and that was so not how she intended to do it.
She didn't have a plan, of course she didn't, that made her sound crazy and ridiculously anal, and she's bad, yeah she knows that but...she's not that bad.
There wasn't a mission and secret plans of love domination. No ninja moves of cunning skill.
Who plans how you say 'I love you'?
But she didn't want it to be...this .
Kate thought it would be...more. Certainly more private, intimate even. Just romantic and not as she stood within the confines of twelfths closing elevator, doors slamming shut in her face, and Castle staring at her like he's just been tasered.
She has imagined it, a lot... a ridiculously wide and varying amount of times and this scenario never once entered her head.
Not once.
She had considered maybe in the middle of sex. He would like that she's pretty certain. A mad, breathy exhilarating rush of desire and pleasure and "I Love You!"
And she would live with the gloating and the ego, because it would be good and worth it and the complete heart melting truth.
She loves him.
She does.
And she should have done it better.
Maybe over coffee. That would have been good...near perfect.
He brings her coffee to see her smile and she tells him she loves him over a cup and gets to watch his face do that mad dance of happiness.
His smile would crinkle his eyes and...god...his eyes. They would darken and melt with lust and devotion and his own love. He would grab her and kiss her, and she can feel the memory of his fingers sliding through her hair, the burn that starts in her stomach.
And his lips...
She has pictured it so many times.
Yes, coffee would have been perfect. Just handing him the cup and "I love you Castle."
Or anything other than an off handed comment as she steps into the elevator.
She drags her hand through her hair as she spins on the spot and realises...Crap...no one knew. She blurted it all out and exposed them to their friends and no one...not a single person, knew about them.
She's only been back a week and it's fun and exciting to sneak around with him. Childish and maybe even cliché but...oh the rush and the near misses in that short space of time.
That kiss in the break room and his hand doing very distracting things to her under her desk. The timber and quake of his voice when he says her name in a certain way, just to remind her of the way he whispers it in her ear before he pulls her into bed.
"Oh...god." She groans and she thumps the door because the memories are warm and perfect and she can taste him over her tongue. And it was her idea to keep them...private for just a little while when she went back to work.
But it's fun and wonderful, and delicious in its ease and simplicity. Because once she made the decision she wanted him, everything else just sort of...went quiet. And she needs to go back up and...tell him properly, face the wrath of Lanie too at some point but right now, this very minute she wants to talk to Castle.
She paces again, undoing the top button of her white shirt and lifting her hair away from her neck, suddenly feeling very hot.
But she wants to wrap herself up in his warm body, pull his strong arms around her and just steal his breath. The way he steals hers, every morning, with every kiss, every second for the rest of her life.
The elevator stops suddenly, reminding her of where she is and the doors are barely opening when she hits the button for the fourth floor. She's going back up. Back to her floor and to Castle and she's going to say it again.
The doors start to close again, but before they can shut completely a hand darts between them.
"Hey..."She yells, ready to take off the head of whoever is stalling her progress.
She steps forwards and looks up, straight into the wide blue eyes of the man she...blurts things out to.
"Castle?" She smiles, tilting her head to looking him up and down. He's panting, out of breath and...oh...
He ran down the stairs.
She blurted out her love and he ran...down four flights of stairs, and he is stealing her breath all over again, stealing her heart right out of her chest as it pounds madly against her ribs, like it wants to leap at him.
"Castle..." She starts again.
"You said you love me." He stammers, interrupting her. But she lets it go, it's only fair, she did sort of throw him to the lions and run away, even if it was a total accident.
She nods, yes she did and yes...she deserves that look he's giving her.
"In the middle of the precinct." He says taking in a lungful of air to calm his breathing. Pink cheeks heaving and looking totally...she wants to kiss him and make him redder, ruffle his hair a bit more and give him something to really go red in the face for.
She scrunches her lips, trying to look innocent and failing miserably "Oops?"
He steps forwards as the doors try to close on them again, banging his hand on the edge of it, catching the sensor and keeping it open "Oops?"
She nods again. "I didn't mean..."
His eyes narrow as he watches "Wait...oops?"
She nods again.
"Beckett...oops you said it? Or oops in the middle of the precinct...because..."
His words are cut off as she fists her hands in his shirt and yanks him into the confined space with her, waiting a second before slamming him back into the now closed elevator doors.
"Never oops I said it." She growls, as she moulds her body around his. Easy and familiar, fitting in just right until she hears him make a noise in the back of his throat, hears her own breathy sigh of appreciation.
"Never that." Kate shakes her head.
She hears the long drawn out exhale, feels it too, as his relief floods over him. And he's completely ridiculous because how does he not know?
"I do love you." She says with more force as she breathes him in, absorbs that smile that she has pictured for nearly three months, maybe three years...a lifetime, whatever. It doesn't matter, she bathes in it now , because it's even more amazing, more beautiful, more magical than she ever imagined it would be.
She lets her eyes float over his eyes, taking in the depth of what he feels for her, what she fully and truly appreciates, understands and most importantly of all...reciprocates wholeheartedly.
This undeniable thing between them.
And she shouldn't have waited this long to tell him, but it's out there now and...
Then her gaze darts to his lips. Soft and tender and willing, waiting. Hers to revel in, and enjoy. Letting her fingers glide over his chest and up into his hair she pushes aside the remaining distance between them and claims his mouth.
Lip to lip and holding onto him tight, the soft press of her body against him and the gentle sweep of her tongue is enough. They have always been enough for him to know how she feels, but it fills him up from the inside with an amazing sense of wonder to hear her say it out loud .
He sighs, happily into her lips when her mouth moves away from his and he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "Hey did you know Ryan has a magic ring?"
Kate splutters a laugh "Wait...what?"
"Nothing." He says pressing his lips back to hers quickly to chase away his own stupidity. "You love me." He grins, raising his eyebrows as she pulls away, and she narrows her eyes shoving him at just the wrong moment. Because the elevator lurches and Castle stumbles back, landing on his backside on the floor.
She laughs staring down at him "Yes...for some strange reason I do love you. You clumsy fool."
Reaching forwards she snags his hand, twining their fingers and pulling him up onto his knees. "Having trouble finding your feet Castle?" She asks.
"Will you tell me again?" He responds, his eyes dancing with mischief as he holds her hands.
"Of course I will." She grins...Just as the elevator doors open.
There is a loud squeal behind them, and they both turn to face Lanie, Ryan and Esposito. The hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil monkeys of the twelfth precinct, staring at them with looks of unadulterated shock.
"Did he just..." Lanie points between the two of them "Are you guys getting married?" The last word leaves her mouth in a barely audible to humans decibel as she re clamps her hand over her mouth.
"No!" Castle says jumping (sort of) to his feet, realising exactly what it looks like and...Kate just said she loves him and...if she panics now...
"Maybe." Kate says slyly, grinning when he turns to her in shock. "One day...Maybe !"
"Ahem." Ryan clears his throat and they all spin to look at him. He points to the gold band circling the finger on his left hand. "Eighteen months." he says tapping it. "I give you eighteen months."