Don't be Scared Little Alchemist

Right then my dears. I'm exceptionally sorry about how late this is (again) but well... the world is a complicated and confusing place and for a while I felt like I'd lost myself... not gonna go into all that deep stuff but just know that I've been through some things just lately that's given me a bit more insight into romance, which is totally gonna help me write this :D

Also, many people think that the last chapter was a good place to end, but that wasn't my intention. Please don't think I'm just adding to this and dragging it out just for the sake of it, I planned it before I wrote it out and there were always meant to be more chapters. One last thing before I finally let you escape my rambling and read on- THANK YOU TO MY WONDERFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS! Thank's to you guys this is now my second most read and absolute first most reviewed story. I really can't thank you guys enough, you're what inspires me to keep on delving into the messed up mind of Adrian Ivashkov and writing this story. So thank you!

Oh and has anyone else here read Bloodlines? It was AWESOME =D

Anyway- on with the story! :D

Chapter 11:

I couldn't believe I was laying here- completely naked in bed- holding this angel in my arms. The streaks of sunlight coming in through the blinds lit up her messy golden hair, made it gleam, enhancing her perfection even further. I just couldn't believe she was mine, all mine, forever and ever. Unfortunately, I couldn't garuntee the last part- I just knew that if anything went wrong with us, she'd be the one leaving me. I'd never leave her... I couldn't anymore.

I watched her as she slept peacefully and I was sure I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I'd slept with a lot of girls (and not a normal persons version of 'a lot'... I think it may almost have been hitting a hundered!) but none of them had been out of love. Before now, I'd never actually had sex with someone I loved- I'd never even been in love before. Not really. I hadn't known how much better it would be. It felt like we were making an actual emotional connection, not just doing it for the fun of it. It had purpose and meaning... it proved that I was in love with her.

I felt her stir slightly, her eyelids beginning to flutter open. When she'd regained conciousness she stared up at me and I instantly lost myself in the depths of her eyes... I'd always loved them. If the eyes were really the windows to your soul, then Sydney's soul had to be the most pure, beautiful soul in the whole world. She offered me a small smile which I soon covered with my lips. The kiss was so gentle that I was willing to bet she hardly felt it, but it was enough to show how I felt. Right now, she looked like the most delicate, gorgeous creature I'd ever seen, I felt like this was all too good to be true, that she'd shatter before my eyes or dissapear completely. She reached out and gently caressed my face, the simple touch sending shivers down my spine.

"Morning honey" I whispered, never tearing my eyes away from hers. I'd always wanted to say that. She smiled up at me again, this time leaning in to kiss me, more deeply than I had before. Fireworks. As always. There really was no other way to describe it.

"Morning" she replied before looking over at her bedside clock. "Wait... evening?"

"Morning for me at least" I chuckled, "you know- since I'm an evil creature of the night and all."

"Sorry about that by the way" Sydney giggled, "I don't mean it. I just... well I guess it's what I'm supposed to think, whether I actually believe it or not."

"You know, you don't have to live that way" I reasoned, "you can think for yourself." Beside me, she visibly sighed and shook her head in way which suggested I was too wrong for words to explain.

"I really can't" she replied, "some day you'll understand. Infact... while were on the subject. What just happened between us... well... you can't tell anyone it happened."

I was taken aback by her remark. Why would she want that? I was confused, a little bewildered... and I could feel spirit building up. Fuck. I could feel it inside me, seeping into my brain, filling every last inch of it with it's madness and lies. 'Take control Adrian' I told myself 'this isn't you, don't let it win'. But the terrifying truth was- it was me. I was born with this... this 'creature' inside of me. This other personality. This dark side that cleverly disguised itself as a wonderful magical power. Immediately, I regretted not bringing some liquor or ciggarettes with me when I came to see Sydney. I needed them right now- so, so badly. If I hadn't been so painfully sober, the rant that burst out of me the next second would never have happened.

"Why?" I demanded, "why would you want to hide that from the world? Why would you want to pretend that we didn't just cheat the system and take a stand against all those who would shamelessly frown upon our love? Why would you deny making love to me? The smooth, green eyed gentleman whom most ladies would gladly consider a complete and utter sex god? That, my darling, is utterly insane."

I took a deep breath and attempted to calm myself, scanning Sydney's face to see what sort of horrified reaction would undoubtedly be crossing it- only it wasn't. Instead, showing no look of shock, horror or 'oh my gosh why is my boyfriend such a lunatic', she leaned forward and kissed me deeply. From the moment her lips made contact with mine it felt like my whole body was on fire, passion burned inside me killing off all the stress, madness and... the spirit.

Sydney's kiss was calming the spirit down...

I couldn't believe it, this had never happened before... and then it hit me. I'd never admitted to myself that I'd been in love with her before today. Love. That was it. I couldn't believe that it had taken me so long to have this revelation, not that I was exactly famous for being quick to catch on. All the times we'd spoken about Rose together and I hadn't broken out into insanity, my perfect little Alchemist had been there comforting me, holding my hand and making sure I knew I wasn't alone. When Dimitri had spoken to me privately- that guy usually always worked spirit up without fail- I could finally see his true love for Rose- not to mention how much he legitimately cared about me- shining through. I could see he was a good guy. Spirit calmed down.

Lissa... love could save her. Christian could save her- he just needed to realise that he could. Granted, I had no idea what she was like when she was alone with him, but I was willing to bet money that it wasn't as bad as she was with the rest of us. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realised the best thing about all of this- she would no longer need power surrender. So many worries just flew away from me at once, I felt like I was walking on air- trouble free and still wrapped up in my gorgeous girlfriends passionate kiss.

When Sydney pulled away, her eyes searched me intently, searching for any lingering signs of madness. Instead all she saw was me displaying the most goofy smile I'd ever dared to show in my life- it was a far cry from my trademark 'I'm Adrian Ivashkov and I'm the hottest thing alive' smile.

"What's got you so happy?" asked the Alchemist, breaking out into a smile of her own. Such a pretty, pretty smile.

"You" I responded, kissing her gently on the forehead, "you're beautiful- did you know that? So, so very beautiful. You're perfect, you complete me... if you left me I'd die." Yes- I was fully aware that I was rambling, but this time spirit had nothing to do with it. I was just pouring out the contents of my heart. "Sydney Sage- I love you. You have all of my heart, you deserve it because you fixed it after it had been broken to a point where I thought it was beyond repair. I know it took me a long time to realise it, but don't worry because I'm never going to forget it. You're the only one I've ever loved. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel second best to Rose, I was living in the past so much that I couldn't put myself into the present and see what was right infront of me. You-"

Before I could utter another cheesy line, Sydney's lips were pressed firmly against mine, displaying far more emotion than could be convayed in words. In that single kiss, I knew that she felt the same way. I could safely say I had never been so happy in my life. I just wanted that one, perfect moment to last forev-

*knock knock*

You have got to be kidding me.

We both jumped up from the bed and proceeded to search the floor for our clothes which had been flung off in the heat of the moment. I dressed far quicker than Sydney and headed for the door.

"Wait!" she shouted after me. I turned on my heels abruptly and stared into her deep brown eyes, filled with worry. "Check through the peep hole before you answer the door, if it's the Alchemists I'm doomed if they catch you here." So this is what my earlier freak out session had been over. The Alchemists. I suppose it made perfect sense. They were a bunch of vampire haters, the lot of them- Sydney excluded. The fact of the matter was- if she was caught with me, she'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble- trouble in the form of a re-education centre. It struck me then how much danger I was putting her in by being with her, how much she must love me to risk such a terrible fate just to be with some cocky, flirty party boy. I'd have to bring all of this up with her later, but for now I found the strength to push it to the back of my mind. I went over to the door and looked through the peep hole just as she had asked me to. Well- it sure as hell wasn't an Alchemist. I swung the door open.

"Rose?" I said, staring down at the girl before me in disbelief. "What're you doing here?"

She didn't even give me the satifaction of getting an answer. She just went straight in for the kill- typical Rose behavior.

"Power Surrender? Really?" she barked while advancing on me, walking into the apartment uninvited. "What were you thinking?" Not gonna lie here- Rose was like evil incarnate when she was mad and I couldn't help but find myself physically shaking in her angry presence. Great one Adrain, cowering in the face of your former love, that's gonna earn you major 'cool points'. Or not.

"At the time I was thinking 'I want to know about being sucked into spirit dreams so I better trade off some information'" I admitted, awkwardly but honestly, closing the door behind the fuming brunette. "But- in hindsight- that was a terrible idea. But it's okay! I've thought up another solution!"

"Too late Ivashkov" argued Rose, pushing me down onto one of the sofas and taking a seat opposite. "She's going through with the ritual and you're helping her. Her decision's final. It's a royal order. No going back now." Well, now seemed like a good a time as any to share my new discovery.

"There is another way!" I insisted, "it's so easy, she'll agree to it immediately! Love-"

"Calms spirit down?" she finished for me. "Already tried it. It worked for a while, but Lissa's spirit seems to be a hell of a lot more powerful than it is in the average person- eg. yourself- and even love can't hold it. I tried, Christian tried and without fully realising it you tried too. You showed her brotherly love. It just didn't work. She's going through with this stupid ritual and it's all your fault!"

"That's insane! I didn't tell her to I just brought it up- wait! Did you just call me 'average'?" Typical, self-centred me thinking of things like that in situations like these.

"Yes? And?" she replied hastily.

"Well, I get that in your eyes I'm not like 'Mr Super-Incredibly-Hot' or anything but I at least like to think I'm a little more than av-"

"Seriously Adrain?"

"No.. sorry I-" I lost track of what I was saying when I saw Rose's gaze shift away from me, staring behind me.

"Sydney" she greeted with as much of a smile as she could muster in her currently stressful position.

"Hello" my girlfriend replied sweetly, "what's going on in here? I heard shouting, is everything okay?"

"Not really" stated Rose as she shot me daggers with her eyes. Her anger was beginning to show through her friendly Façade. "Adrian told Lissa about that 'Power Surrender' crap you guys discovered and now she's going through with the ritual. Tonight." She got up from her seat and headed for the door, clearly still angry, but perhaps restraining herself from saying anything more hurtful. If that was the case, then it seemed that she had at least gained a sense of self control in my absence.

"11pm" she told me, "at the Royal Court. Be there."

I couldn't wait.

Incase you didn't already get the hint- that was sarcasm.

Just as Rose had ordered, I arrived at Court 11pm sharp. Being the caring person that she is, Sydney had offered to come with me for moral support and although I had protested that it may be too dangerous she insisted that she would be helpful. After all- she did know what to do in the ritual better than any of the rest of us.

When we arrived at Lissa's home, we were greeted by a room full of people- it soon became obvious who else Lissa had roped into helping her with this crazy scheme. The spirit user- that was obviously me, though I could have thought of several more people who would have been far better suited to the job, for example Sonya Karp- Lissa's ex-magic teacher. I didn't feel worthy of this, my spirit was almost as out of control as Lissa's- I could ruin the entire ritual.

Standing on the far side of the room, looking exceptionally nervous was none other than Christian Ozera. You could tell, just from his facial expression and the way he kept nervousley twiddling his fingers that he wasn't comfortable with this- well that made two of us- three of us if you counted none other than Mia Rinaldi sitting on a chair a few feet away from me, her gaze fixed on the ground. The fire user and the water user. I could only assume that the other two people in the room (aside from Rose and Dimitri) must have been the earth and air users. One was a woman, fairly short for a Moroi with jet black hair and pale skin, the other a tall man with hair almost as fair as Gareths.

"Adrian!" chirped Lissa excitedly as she ran over and flung her arms around me. In any other situation, this would've been perfectly normal- but that's what worried me. This wasn't normal. This wasn't right- and here was Lissa acting like I'd just popped round for a cup of tea! "I'm so glad your here!" she continued, "now we can begin." She turned and gestured towards the people I didn't know- "Oh and this is Lily and Paul" she pointed out, "Dimitri found them and they said they were willing to help out- isn't that great?"

I hated to ruin her excitement, but I had to let my brutal honesty shine through. "No, Liss" I said, my face more serious than I had ever shown in her presence, "it's not great. Hell- it's not even good! I told you this was supposed to be a last resort, not that you should use it the next day!"

She tried to defend herself. "Adrian, you don't know what it's like! You don't get how bad I feel. No one does! Yeah, you have spirit, but I don't see your's driving you to suicide, do you? I just want to be happy again, that's all. You just don't get it."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" I shouted, my frustration escalating faster than one of those super speedy 0-to-whatever in 2 seconds rollercoasters... and I've been on one. That is some fast shit!

For a moment, the Queen looked dumbfounded by my sudden outburst, but then slowley raised a hand and placed it on my shoulder. Looking deep into my pale green eyes with her shimmering emerald ones, she said "because you don't." Her voice was so small, so meek it was as though she feared I would snap again. She was probably right, but not about her statement.

"I do Lissa" I insisted, "you don't know how much I know. It's the feeling of being out of control, like you don't know yourself or you have two personalities. I know, okay? I know it better than anyone you know." I spoke the truth in every single word.

There was a certain intensity throughout the room. I didn't need to look around to know that every eye in the room- even the magical ones of my little Alchemist- were turned towards me and Lissa, just waiting for the next word to be spoken. It was Lissa who spoke it.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going through with the ritual. Take your places everyone." Her eyes didn't leave mine the whole time she was speaking, but it was as though the life in them visibly died in that moment. It was as though I was no longer looking at my beloved friend, the closest thing I'd ever had to a sister. I was staring down a twisted stranger, somebody I had just met and already had a bad feeling about. It was as though I had just watched her heart freeze over. She looked so cold- not physically but mentally. I was staring right into the face of spirit. Was this how the world saw me?

I was snapped out of my trance when Sydney came and stood beside me- clearly uncomfortable in a room filled with vampires- and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Come on" she said, "we better get started. Queens orders."

I had a terrible feeling about this. I could tell from the shakey connection between our hands that Sydney felt it too.

Okay peoples, that's it for now! Sorry it's short but I want to do a whole chapter dedicated just to the ritual. I don't say this enough, but I love each and every one of you guys reading this, it means so much that my hard work and effort can be appreciated by others, so thank you =D And keep reading and reviewing and favouriting and stuff :P

xxx