IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING THE FUTURE OF THIS SERIES IN THE A/N. READ OR BE LOST!
Chapter XXIII: C6H2(NO2)3CH3
Deidara flexed his hand, feeling the clay press into his hand, feeling it mold into several smallish bombs. "Hey, Pain-sama. When do we go?"
"Now. The Kyuubi Jinchuriki has gotten too powerful. Aim to kill him. You should then be able to capture him. Has the bijuu settled?"
"Hai. Now my art will be spread to even more people! The world shall know of my work!"
"Hey, hey! Deidara-senpai! Doesn't that look like your work?"
The pyromani- I mean, the explosives expert turned around and saw that his partner was pointing to a nearby chamber pot.
"Tobi…"
"Oh, right!" He ran over, dropped his pants, and took a dump inside the pot. "There we go!" The masked Akatsuki chirped. "Now it really is your work!"
The resulting explosion could be heard in Iwa.
Josh sighed as he tagged another fangirl, the sedative in the dart neutralizing the poison as well placing a tracer in the bloodstream that emitted harmless radiation. This, along with a big enough dish, plus a computer, would allow him to keep track of any fangirl tagged for the next fifty years.
"I'm not paid enough for this…"
"… Like you have any fucking right to talk."
The swordsman looked up to see Uzu staggering toward him, looking definitely worst for wear. While they couldn't destroy him, due to the convenient fact that his body was made from pure energy, they sure could do some major damage.
As we all know, energy cannot be destroyed. That's basic physics. However, it can be concentrated, dissipated, and transformed.
The fangirls had given him such a bad pounding that it had caused portions of his jumpsuit to fall off and disintegrate, putting down dozens of potholes in the already heavily damaged street.
"Look what the cat dragged in."
"… Oh, hardy-har-har. Look what crawled out of the gulf coast."
To be honest, the insult was quite accurate.
While the sludge was blackish at deployment and first glance, after a few minutes of exposure and spreading it would turn a disgusting shade of brown, similar to unrefined oil. Shielding was an advanced form of sealing, so the sludge had bypassed his shield, coating his armor. The only form of shield it couldn't bypass was the Guardian Shield, and that was only partially, due to its unique hybrid nature.
"You know what? Fuck you. Just get Naruto. Tell him to let us back inside the gate."
"… I would, but there's one problem."
"Oh?"
Uzu pointed. "The boss is gone. So is Hinata. The only two people we know who can let us back inside are gone."
Josh growled, tightening his grip around a fangirl's neck until he heard a crunching noise, indicating that he had just broken someone's neck. "Ah… yeah… that's… uh… collateral damage. You never saw that happen, Uzu."
"…Saw what happen?"
Josh facepalmed. "Never mind."
"… Holy shit, a dead person. Did you do that?"
"No. No, are you stupid? I just told you I didn't snap this person's neck out of anger."
"… Oh, all right. I just thought-"
"Yeah, well, you thought wrong."
"SHIZUNE!"
"Hai, Tsunade-sama?"
"How many have you healed?"
The black-haired woman looked thoughtful for a moment. "Ano… I think about, thirty, at last count. Mostly bruises and broken bones."
"Yo."
"AHII!"
"Kakashi! Get down here!" Tsunade barked, putting another hole in the wall.
"Hai, hai."
The masked ninja dropped down from the ceiling and landed smoothly. "I see Naruto did a number on Konoha's Fangirl population."
Tsunade was grinding her teeth so hard to the point where you could hear them starting to splinter. In an effort to save her mentor's teeth, Shizune spoke up. "Kakashi-san, it was actually Josh-san-"
"NO HONORIFICS, DAMNIT!"
The three shinobi looked around in shock as the small tinny voice shot though the room, seemingly without a source.
"Josh-s-?"
"NO HONORIFICS! GODDAMNIT, I HATE HONORIFICS!"
"Josh-s-"
"Kakashi," the voice came through threateningly. "If you call me that one more time, I'm gonna round up your Icha Icha collection, burn them, and make sure that you're put on the blacklist so that when the idiot puts out the new one, you'll never get one. Shizune, if you call me that one more time, I'll tell Tsunade all of your secrets, and Tsunade, if you call me that, I'll tell all of Konoha your real age and appearance. That genjutsu is nothing compared to my cameras."
The same three shinobi, shocked a second ago, were now all scared. Tsunade and Kakashi of Josh, and Shizune of Tsunade. One fact did penetrate their skulls, though.
"Naruto's writing a new Icha Icha?"
The sigh over the speaker sounded like a sandblaster on sandpaper, punctured with intermingled pings and bangs. It sounded as though while he was carrying on this conversation with the three of them, he was also trying to chip away at Naruto's seal system.
"Yeah-" Bang!"He's been-" Clank! "Writing it for-" Ping! "Centuries now. Don't know when he's going to-" Crack! "Finish it, though. FUCK! That's an expensive sword-" BOOM!
The explosion that rang through the speakers rattled the windows, then, when the actual wave reached them, shattered them.
Either Naruto or Minato had taken forced entry via blade very seriously. The explosion had drilled a six-foot hole into the street, but all Josh was doing was cursing the destruction of his sword.
"Goddamned blast buttons. They're scattered all throughout the wall. Hit one, and most people'll go up in smoke. Luckily I hit a small one, or the Hyuga Estate woulda been nothing more than a scrap heap. Oh, it's Hiashi- HEY! THE HELL ARE YOU- THAT'S NOT MEANT TO BE- THAT'S IT! INITIAL GUARDIAN ART-"
Another explosion rocked the village, this time depositing a smoking and bruised Hiashi through the window of their hospital room. "Nani?"
"Oi! Sent Hiashi packing. Anyway, do you have any plans for the Manor? I'll try going in from underground."
"We already tried that-"
"With an amateur, of course you failed. I've stormed more fortresses then I care to count, and most times, if they've got the air covered, the next best way in is underground. I know the dojo has a brick-lined staircase that would allow for some degree of forced entry, and that staircase is probably sealed to stop people from tunneling in. But I'll do something else."
"Which is-" Tsunade started.
"Shaped blasting charges from underground. They're generally used for by the mining companies for large mineral deposits, but I secured a handful and keep them on hand for the more… persistent problems. Send someone over with them, and make sure they're accurate. If I miss by so much as an inch, the entire village'll get fucking leveled. Josh out."
The radio clicked off with the sound of digging and mild snoring, presumably from Uzu.
Silence was immediate, overwhelming, and most of all, awkward. Nobody knew how to top that exit. Of course, Josh was simply following the Guardian Credo. 'Guardians never say the "I" word. Anything is possible if you have enough time, money, and high explosives.' Of course, Josh, being the person that he was, had more then enough of all three.
"Is this it?"
"Hai, Deidara-senpai! This is Konoha!"
"Really, Tobi. This is Konoha?"
"Hai!"
"Then," Deidara sighed, "Why are there hundreds of shinobi with Suna headbands facing us?"
"Hai!"
"Tobi… you are so dead…"
"Hai!"
The two didn't get much further as the desert around them swirled, tried to envelop them, and ended with the two fleeing Suna with shuriken and kunai flying at them, Tobi being chased by Deidara with bijuu-enhanced bombs. "KATSU!"
"Deidara-senipai! Mercy!"
"KATSU!"
"All right… if this blueprint is to be trusted… this house's security system's weakest point should be that staircase… since it was added after the building was finished… A bouncing barrier, reforming generator, and sixteen blasting buttons… shouldn't be anything that could stop something on this scale…"
As Josh examined the blueprints, muttering to himself, Sakura was busy being strangled by an irate Uzu after she had tried to wake him up, despite the swordsman's offhand warning never to do so. Regardless of her monster strength, Uzu had her arms pinned in position where she couldn't exert force without extreme pain, his other hand at her neck, choking her sadistically.
"That's enough, Uzu… Let her go before the idiot gets even more paperwork and gets dragged in for another meeting…"
"… If you say so." And with that, he let her go, who immediately put him through the wall of the Hyuga Estate.
"Stupid Uzu…" Josh muttered as Uzu hopped back through the wall, hair rumpled, but otherwise unhurt. "Let's see… if I place these two here, that should cause the staircase to collapse, but the blasting buttons'll go off. If I put them at eight o' clock, they might level this quarter of the village… Hey! Tsunade! What's over thata way about a quarter of a mile?" He vaguely gestured to the left.
"Just the Uchiha Estate. Nobody's been there for years-"
"Perfect. Eight o' clock it is. Now to dig a tunnel… Uhh… you guys might want to stand back. I've detected a seal underneath the ground and cutting through it could prove messy."
Everyone took his advice, especially Kiba, after his disastrous last attempt when he had ended up on the menu at Ichiraku's.
After everyone who valued their skins had gotten out to what they thought was a safe distance, Josh drew his sword and held it, blade-down, flipped one palm and pulled out until it was only energy holding it in place. "Right. Let's get started… Initial Guardian Art-"
What came next was inaudible, but what they could see was him jerking his palms in opposite directions, causing the sword to spin. However, it hovered in midair, and even as they watched, he repositioned his hands and repeated the action. This time, even Kakashi lost track of the rate of spin with his Sharingan. To the average observer, the sword was no more then a silverish blur which Josh carefully lowered to the pavement several times, aimed, slammed down his visor, and whacked repeatedly at the rock, pulverizing it, then to the ground underneath, which fell apart like cheese in a blender.
Of course, all of that material had to go somewhere. Most of it went into the Hyuga's Koi pond. The rest of it landed in various spots around the village, crushing plants, people, and exploding cows alike on impact.
After the Koi pond had filled up and resembled nothing more then a manure pile in Southeast Asia, Hiashi's hoarse yell came from the hospital and he shunshined into the area, Byakugan flaring and hungry for blood.
"WHERE IS HE!" The clan head yelled as he looked around. Seeing nothing on the surface, a flash of motion underground caught his attention.
Before anyone could stop him, he dove into the tunnel after Josh and the muckstorm.
Unfortunately for him, Josh had reached the appropriate depth and now had to drill laterally. This involved him pulling his hand back and slamming the sword into the wall, but as luck would have it, as soon as he pulled his hand back, his right gauntlet slammed into Hiashi's crotch with no little force, and as he fell even further, repeated hits landed on his stomach, sternum, throat, nose, and forehead.
He did catch one lucky break. Due to the fact that Josh was emitting energy to expel the waste from behind him, Hiashi got caught up in some dirt and was flung into the air, tearing his way though Ichiraku's fan and landing in the steaming broth pot. Unlike Kiba, who was fully conscious, Hiashi was out of it, so he just sat there while the broth cooked his ass.
As the hapless head simmered away in a pot of miso, the remainder of the crowd held their collective breaths as Josh finally hit the seal barrier, causing the entire dome to light up a blinding silver as energy was diverted to protect the bottom. This was an obvious upgrade from before, as when Kiba had tried tunneling in, there had been no secondary barrier underground.
Despite the enhanced security, Josh soon penetrated the underground barrier, pushing forward to right next to the staircase. He let up on the energy spinning his sword and tucked the blade under one arm.
With his other hand, he slotted out two small charges and placed them inside the wall of the tunnel. Using his filters, he picked out the edges of the staircase and set the charges accordingly.
As soon as he was done covering the charges with a thin layer of dirt, he turned tail and came back up the tunnel, gesturing for Uzu to stand next to him.
"Now. I've set the charges so that the ends of the blasts will emerge in the Uchiha Estate. The shockwave will spread somewhat, but there's not much I can do about that on such short notice."
"Hang on. Did you say blasts? As in plural?" Shikamaru started as Josh slotted his sword away after checking it for damage.
"Well, yeah. Any good demolitions expert always has a backup charge. But that tunnel isn't meant to hold up for a long time. So I put both in and I'll be detonating both at the same time. Should result in a nice big bang, eh? Uzu, you're with me. As soon as that goes off, we're going down the rabbit hole. Ready?"
"… No, but I don't think you're going to give me much choice, now are you?"
Josh slipped two pieces of cotton inside his helmet to cushion his ears. "Nope. On three?"
"… Three?"
"THREE!"
The single explosion ripped its way through the wall of the staircase, and as all of them stood on the shaky ground, Josh vanished, rapidly followed by Uzu. However, the latter didn't stay gone for long, as the shockwave had obviously been too much for him to hold on. After the tremors had stopped and the civilians' screaming and died down somewhat, they all peered inside the smoking hole to see Uzu scrunched up against the end, coughing weakly.
Chalk up two humans, two squirrels, two cows, two fish, and two chickens on the casualties list. Somewhere out there, Noah was turning in his grave…
"Naruto-kun?"
The only response was the blond's slow and rattling breaths. No response, no indication that he had heard. Just the fading breathing.
"Byakugan… no… NO!"
The news her eyes were feeding to her was fatal, but she refused to believe them.
Naruto's chakra coils were shutting down. Slowly, but surely. This was a fatal condition, since a chakra coil couldn't be reignited. Even Kyuubi's chakra was only slowing down the process. Nothing but a demon could live on Demonic Chakra, and as he pumped more into the system, it would eventually overwhelm the residual Human Chakra, burn his chakra tubes, and cause them to collapse, resulting in death.
There was no known treatment.
Still, she had to try. She could never live with herself unless she did.
"Ninpou… Shosen Jutsu…"
The Mystic Palm, the signature move of all medics lit up on Naruto's stomach, directly over Kyuubi's seal. The transfer of chakra would buy him some time, if only a few minutes. There was nobody she knew in Konoha that could support someone with Naruto's energy consumption.
Nobody except-
At that moment, the entire house shook to the very core as an explosion rang out. Dust and debris tore the dojo door right off its hinges, splattering both of them with muck and leaving cuts and scrapes all over her body after she dove to cover Naruto's prone form.
She instantly pulled out a kunai and took up a defensive position near the blond, activating her Byakugan to see a shadowy figure straighten up and approach the stairs, a knife in hand.
"Put your butter knife down, girl. Before you take your own eye out by accident." Josh's filtered voice rang out through the void, sounding for all the world, artificial.
"Josh-sa-"
"GODDAMNIT! NO FUCKING HONORIFICS! WHAT IS SO FUCKING HARD ABOUT THAT? IT'S ONE GODDAMNED SIMPLE REQUEST, AND YOU PEOPLE CAN'T FOLLOW IT! I CAN SEE NOW WHERE NARUTO PICKED UP THE GODDAMNED HABIT!"
"Ano…"
"And this is why I don't purely rely on organic systems…" Josh muttered as he whipped out his pistol and swapped out the rounds. "They're good, but as soon as you push them a little too far, this is what happens. Right. Stand back."
"What-"
"You honestly think that this is the first time this has happened? The best thing I've found to do is to give him an overcharge in his coils. That usually kickstarts his system back to normal. Doesn't always work though. When that happens, you're going to need a direct transfer of energy. The closer the energy frequency and higher the amount, the better. If the coils detect some starter chakra, they'll restart on their own… Unfortunately, energy frequency matches are ridiculously rare, and the idiot's is always fluctuating…" As he spoke, Josh was busy adding several instruments to his handgun, checking to make sure they were firmly attached.
"There we go… All is set. Bon-Bon, get the charged dart. Arm the dart. How much time we got?"
"Fights or no?"
"Both."
"Thirty and sixty, respectively."
"That doesn't leave me much time… RCP?"
"Forty-three and climbing at sixty. The energy transformer is having trouble keeping with the energy fluctuations. It doesn't help the problem that the power is coming from you…"
"Yeah, well, at least my energy is stable. But still, it leaves me a three-second window."
"Ano… can I help?"
Josh didn't even bother looking up. "No. Your energy frequency isn't tested. I'm not even sure that it's the same bandwidth. You'd just do more harm if it wasn't even vaguely compatible. Stay out of this."
"But-"
"Why don't I scan her power frequency?"
"Do we have enough time?"
The AI paused and waited a handful of cycles before replying into Josh's private earpiece instead of the intercom. "Already done. Quite amazing. She's got the exact same frequency as Naruto. That would explain-"
"-Her ability to bypass the security seals. But my analysis of the seals-"
"Yes… there's something else…"
Josh grinned as he beckoned for Hinata to draw closer again. "And I know what it is."
"What-"
"Later. I'll tell you later. Right now, we have to save the idiot's life…"
Opening up his external speakers again, he said to the now-kneeling Hinata, "Place your hands on the metal nub and channel all the energy you can spare. It seems as though you're just what we need to revive the idiot. Now… some juice, if you please?"
"Juice?"
"Tech shorthand term for energy. Please? We've got thirty seconds."
"Ano… I already used all the energy I had earlier…"
"Doesn't have to be much. Anything?"
"Josh, we don't have much time left. He's starting to struggle…"
"Ah, fuck it. Looks I'm gonna have to do a DET."
"How can you know so-"
The swordsman popped his visor and screwed off his right gauntlet, giving the girl a funny look all the while. "I worked with the idiot for sixteen hundred years. I know his weaknesses and strengths. I also know that, for a guardian, he's powerful, but also high maintenance. Like I already said, if you think that this is the first time this has happened, you're crazier then those fangirls that were outside, and they were one step away from being rabid."
Before she could do anything else, Josh placed his hand on Naruto's navel and blasted a stream of silverish energy into him.
The effect was immediate.
"And… that's another transfusion. Phew. Bon-bon. Chalk up another favor for me."
"Tobi…" Deidara growled,
"Hai?"
"This is NOT Konoha."
"But, senpai! Look at the trees!"
"Tobi! There are six trees and a shitload of angry Iwa ninja staring us down! And where are the streams?"
"Streams?"
"Yes, Tobi. There are streams of water around Konoha! This is Iwa!"
"Are you sure?"
"Tobi. In case you forgot, I'M from Iwa. I'm a nuke-nin. Exactly-"
"Deidara… you brat. What the hell are you doing back here?"
"Onoki… I would show you my art right now, but I'm in a hurry right now. However, my partner will entertain you…"
"Senpai?"
"Ja ne, Tobi!"
"Wait! What am I supposed to do!"
"Use your brain, Tobi. I know you have one in there… somewhere."
"WHAA!"
"So let me get this straight. Because I took out the fangirls in front of the Hyuga estate, Hiashi wants me up on charges."
"That's right."
"Well, of all the… Tell him, that if he pursues this, I'll press charges of mental endangerment against him. All that stupidity hanging around in the air…"
"And he wants Hinata back."
Josh snorted as he inspected a live medical chart from Naruto's room. "Fuck no! You think I'm gonna hand her back to some whacko like him? Besides, it's not my call. Naruto's the landlord here. I'm just a guest… just a highly destructive guest…"
"… Oh, like you have any right to call him a whacko."
"Shut up, Uzu, or I'll use you as fangirl bait again."
"… Touché…"
"Do you even know what that word means?"
"…No…"
Josh facepalmed. "As I thought. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and neither do the branches. Anyway, Tsunade, tell him no dice. If he wants to get at me so bad, he's welcome to try. You saw the damage I had to do to get in."
"… The dojo is still buried…"
"Uzu, either transform yourself into a bird and sit on my shoulder, or SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE NOT A GODDAMNED PARROT!"
"… Fine. Henge!"
As the smoke cleared, the Hokage could see Josh beating his forehead with the butt of his knife and a Pterodactyl sitting on his shoulder. Strangely enough, the creature seemed to be grinning slightly.
"Goddamnit, Uzu, I'm not Chuck Norris."
The smoke cloud reappeared and Uzu was back on the ground. "…Never said you were. You did say a bird."
"Pterodactyls aren't fucking birds you moron! They're goddamned DINOSAURS!"
"… Huh… so that's why…"
"Yes, that's why Blaze can't fucking summon a Pterodactyl. God knows that it would have been useful that one time…"
"… Was that the fourth time we-"
"Stormed hell? Fuck yeah!"
"I don't mean to interrupt your little nostalgia session-" Tsunade interrupted.
"And yet you did anyway."
"… How rude…"
Tsunade would have ripped both from limb to limb, but the gate stopped her. "What are we going to do about Hiashi!"
"I'm not going to do anything. He's your subject, isn't he?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then he's your problem. If he wants to sue me, fine. I'll countersue his ass back into the ground. If he wants to attack me, even better. I'll have an excuse to kill him, not that I already don't. Now, if you'll excuse me, lunch is calling my name."
"… That's Hinata."
"Eh. Close enough. She made lunch."
"Ah… that's some nice cooking. Uzu?"
"… I don't eat."
"Hmm…"
"Ano…"
Josh sighed and put down his fork. "Let me guess. You want me to teach you how to heal Naruto if I'm not around, right?"
"H-Hai."
"Well, if I'm gonna do that," the swordsman belched, "Excuse me. As I was saying, grow a backbone! I don't teach cowards, timid, or lazy people!"
"… You are such a hypocrite."
"Hey," he defended himself. "If you come to me lazy for training, you'll die. My training will MAKE you lazy. You have to take chances; otherwise, you'll never go far. So-" Josh stated as he stood up, "Use your famed Jyuken and hit me in the face."
"But, if I do, you'll-"
"I'll what? Die?"
"… Jyuken isn't something to mess around with, Josh."
"I'll be fine."
"… I got dibs on your armor when you die."
"To be honest, I wouldn't mind if she could kill me. Anything to avoid that next meeting…"
They soon shifted down to the dojo, Josh blasting the rubble clear with a small rocket and putting up a few support beams.
"There. That should hold."
Josh led the way down into the Dojo, swept it once with his rifle, then put it away.
"Now, Ms. Double-SSS, let's see what you got."
Taking a deep breath and settling into the traditional Jyuken stance, she intoned, "Hakke-"
She jumped as a shot rang out. Josh had drawn his sidearm and was now taking potshots at her. "What? I never said I was going to let you stand there and take a free shot. Anyone can hit a standing target. Trying to hit someone who's much stronger than you and actively trying to hit you is something else. If you can't do that, if you can't defy the odds time and again, you can forget about me even considering training you."
"Hai!"
"Huh. Wow. Backbone appear already? Now let's see if you can land a hit…"
"… So, as you see, this is why I should be let out-"
"Ki. Pointing at a graph that says 'I'm on a plane' does not tell us any reason why you should be the next one out."
Naruto's fragment folded its 'arms'. Technically, in the mindscape, nothing had mass, so it was merely an energy projection.
"You guys are no fun in here. And stealing Kyuubi's Icha Icha got old after the sixth time."
"So THAT'S where they went! WHEN I GET MY HANDS, ER, PAWS ON YOU-"
"But you won't. You're stuck in that cage."
Kyuubi growled, but everyone present ignored him. Kyuubi and Ki never saw eye-to-eye, and it didn't help that the latter was the prankster and rudest of the bunch.
"Next up on the order of business-"
"We figure out a way to let Kyuubi loose." A voice interrupted from behind them.
"Glad to see you're up and about, sir."
"Ah Nacht. Kissing ass as-"
"Ki! Not in the mood right now."
'Nacht' shot Ki a venomous look. "My deepest apologies, sir. But with the other two still sealed away, I thought I might start the meeting."
The original waved him off. "You did the right thing. I'm taking over now."
"Sir."
Naruto took the seat that Nacht had once occupied, glancing around at the copies of himself. "Now, as to the matter of Kyuubi…"
"Finished already?"
Josh stood there, bemused as Hinata struggled to get air in. No matter what trick she tried, hitting the Baum Reject was just simply impossible. Even during the few times she got behind him it seemed as though he had eyes in the back of his head.
It's just like fighting another Hyuga… she thought as her muscles screamed in protest.
"… Testing her like this may break her."
"Better to break now then on a battlefield, Uzu. Then, she not only puts herself at risk, but everyone around her. You've seen the results."
"… The boss-"
"It's not his call." Josh interrupted, checking his clip before rapidly slamming a new one home. "She asked me to train her. Therefore, she must pass my test. If she wants to change sensei later, that's her call, since we're on the same squad. Now, shut up and let me finish this. You're not the only one who wants a goddamned nap right now."
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
"Oho? What's this? Little Miss Hyuga knows the Kage Bunshin? This is interesting…"
"… Dangerous. To both parties. Hinata, don't push yourself too far. Josh, watch out for your balls."
"Shut it, Uzu!"
"So we are all agreed, for all of our sanities, Ki will be the next one released?"
"Agreed." The others intoned at once, all of them eager to get out of there."
"Good. Now, I'll see you cocksuckers later."
As the rude variant walked off into the recesses of Naruto's mind, all of the others relaxed somewhat. "Good lord-"
"Use not the lord's name in vain, Roo."
"Shut up, Toe."
"Hakke-"
Josh flared his energy through his shield once again, blinding Hinata, who had her Byakugan activated. Every time she had even come vaguely close to landing that needed hit, he had flared his energy, thwarting her attack. She missed again, narrowly dodging out of the way of another half dozen rounds. At this point, Hinata had retreated up the staircase and moved outside, knowing that the featureless room wouldn't grant her any advantages in fighting the freak of nature.
"Come on, Double-SSS. Bullets ain't free ya know. I gotta buy these puppies by the crateful, and Jabba charges an arm and a leg. Regrowing limbs is a pain."
And with that, he casually put three rounds through Hinata's upper right arm, not breaking the bone, but immobilizing the arm with pinpoint accuracy.
"…Gee, heavy-handed much?"
"I'm running out of stocked ammo. I only carry fifteen extended clips. You don't want me to bust out the IR9, do you?"
Uzu didn't reply from his perch on the wall, merely rolling around and snoring gently.
"Right. Well, you fail if I run out of ammunition before you land a hit. Loosely aiming with my pistol is only possible because the system isn't linked with my HUD. My IR9 is directly linked and will kill you with the first burst. You only have four clips left."
Hinata didn't bother responding, instead, taking advantage of the brief lull to force the bullets out and heal the injury up, though not regaining use of her arm.
"Oh, and ah, just so that you know, these bullets are electrically charged. Until I deliver a countercharge, any limb I hit is useless."
"Hakke-"
Josh sighed and let loose another pulse. She still hadn't gotten the point of the test. Hardly surprising, though. When faced with the strongest opponent they would likely ever face, any sane person would proceed to match their strongest portion up against them, even if it was pointless. The question is, could she see past that?
This time, without her right arm to stabilize her flight, she slammed into the ground headfirst, her abused Kage Bunshin finally detonating as the shell lost its cohesion.
"Pity. Kage Bunshin were one of the few useful things I've never been able to duplicate. If you use them correctly, they're excellent against Guardians like myself. However, with only one and your obvious lack of skill with them as compared to the idiot-"
He stopped at this point to shoot a handful of shuriken out of the air.
"Huh. Shuriken. How nostalgic."
"… You really are a sadistic bastard, aren't you?"
"Shut up and die in your sleep, Uzu."
Forgoing Jyuken altogether, Hinata charged Josh, left hand tightly gripped on a kunai, her right flopping uselessly behind her.
"… Extremely bad idea, Hinata. Josh is an extremely seasoned master of CQC. Although, without his sword, he's not as a big of a threat."
"Shut up, Uzu."
Not even bothering to take out his knife, Josh flipped his pistol and whacked Hinata's kunai, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces in her hand. "Low quality steel. Kunai are deadly if made properly." And with that, he kicked her though a nearby tree.
"All right. Ki is coming out as soon as I can create a shell. Nacht. You're in charge while I'm gone. Maintain the seal and call me back in if you need to."
"Where are you going?"
The original stood up and dusted off his shoulders.
"I'm gonna try to stay conscious for more then half an hour. We'll go from there."
"Why don't you give up? I'm down to my last clip, and you still haven't even come close to hitting me. Some of those injuries look downright nasty."
Since kicking her through the tree, he had blocked two Suiton and a Katon jutsu, each time reflecting them back toward their battered caster. What's more, the other handful of times she had gotten close, Josh had kicked her, this time into the far more stable border wall. Nothing serious had cracked yet, but it was getting increasingly hard for Hinata to move.
"… You really should stop, Hinata. The only person who's ever passed this test on the first try is the boss, and even then, barely."
"And I was going easy on him."
"… Seriously?"
Josh shrugged as he sidestepped another attack. "He was already a Guardian at that point. Me not using charged rounds against him was giving him a major handicap. Plus, I didn't have my armor yet, so I couldn't send him flying with energy pulses. Whoops…"
He sidestepped another attack, this time bringing the butt of his pistol down on her back, knocking the wind out of her and sending her sprawling. "Give up. You haven't seen the true point of this test. And time is now-"
BOOM!
"Bonnie. Sit-rep, NOW!"
"Naruto has broken through the stasis field. Residual Energy Signatures indicates an Elementally-Enhanced Rasengan, profile matches a Base Rasenshuriken."
"At that range? He'd rip himself to shreds in his current state."
"Unknown. However, I have a hypothesis."
"Proceed. Let me consider what that bonehead has done this time."
"Between his return to consciousness and the energy blast that let him loose, there was a loss of internal sensors, disabled manually. I suspect that after regained his senses, he stabbed the sensors with wind-enhanced digits, formed a Rasenshuriken, and then proceeded to use it not as a explosive, but rather as a giant shuriken, cutting through the inner membrane, which contains all of the countermeasures, then Haraishined out of the premises."
"Current location?"
"Unknown. The IFF satellites are not yet in place, so I was unable to track him. However, he did momentarily materialize at Ichiraku Ramen for reasons unknown, then proceeded to teleport beyond the range of established sensors. What do we do next?"
Josh was silent for a few seconds, pondering this latest development. Before he could do much else, though, Hinata dove at him, her good hand extended, ready for a direct hit.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!"
Bringing up his pistol, Josh unleashed the last of the clip, a seven round burst, aimed right at Hinata. However, the results would be rather mixed this time.
Using her Byakugan, she had seen Josh had a slight firing quirk prior to every shot fired. The off-shot hand, that is to say, the weaponless hand, twitched slightly prior to pulse firing, wavered for singled shots.
"KAITEN!"
The Full Metal Jacket rounds, having already been sent on their paths, hit Hinata's Kaiten. However, with her right arm not working, the Kaiten was only a half sphere, four of the rounds splattered harmlessly on her incomplete shield, two were deflected uselessly away into space, but the seventh round was deflected right back at Josh, who already had his gun away and was busy issuing commands to a overworked AI.
"Projectile inbound. Profile matches .45 IP7 round. Evade!"
"What?"
Josh ducked and twisted at the same time, the armor, along with his reflexes were never meant to dodge bullets, instead merely to deflect them.
The round splattered harmlessly against his shield, but a hit was a hit.
"Hit registered. Upper right arm, shield partition. Exam results disputed."
"I… did… it…"
Hinata landed hard, winced, then collapsed.
There was silence for a few seconds, with the sole exception of Uzu grumbling and rolling over on the wall to restart his nap.
Deidara palmed his face again. "Tobi. Do you know how to read a map?"
"Hai! Senpai!"
"Then, please. For the love of this world, kill the goddamned teacher that taught you how to."
"Yo, yo. You got a really dumb head, but it doesn't matter, since you'll soon be dead!"
"And the Hachibi still can't wrap. Right. I'm off to Konoha. Tobi, you stay here and keep them busy."
"How?"
"The same way you kept Onoki and the others busy. Throw something at them."
"WHAA!"
Naruto landed heavily in the middle of a forest, grasping a nearby tree for support. Breaking out of the stasis field had taken alot out of his recently-regenerated Chakra Coils. Still without access to Kyuubi's Chakra, it was rather hard to pull off long attack combos like that even with his tanks full.
After resting for a few minutes and getting his bearings, the blond staggered off in a seemingly random direction, knocking over stones, breaking branches, and walking into trees, again, seemingly at random.
But this was all really an elaborate act. Despite the fact that he and the Kyuubi shared energy coils and minds to a certain extent, both had isolated chambers that they kept secret from each other. Kyuubi kept the distant past, as well as his most potent techniques, hidden. Naruto had stashes of half-completed jutsu, hiding spots, and secrets hidden away.
It was toward one of these hiding spots he was now staggering toward. Despite the fact that the Kyuubi had forced him to trash his supply of Senzu Beans, in the brief hours before he had his memories extracted and broken, he had one of his contacts hide a small stash of Senzu Beans away, making sure it was locked away in a place where it would be easily recovered.
Well, easily recovered was right. The Guardian, a Memory Expert, was one of the ones who broke his memory, and the beans' location was located in the first portion.
Perfect.
Having reached a small creek, he took a brief moment to dunk his head inside before continuing upstream to the spring that fed it. A small patch of rocks was roughly shoved aside as he dug in the ground. When he felt smooth wood, Naruto drew his hand back, bit this thumb to draw blood, and wiped a small amount on the crate.
Unfortunately, the person who had sealed this was both paranoid and had a sense of humor. The crate rose on a column of earth while a surprised and swearing blond fell in a deep crater.
Looks like Cali got you good again. She was always outclassing you in pranks.
Shut up.
Naruto scrambled up the hole and up the column, undoing four clasps to reveal a small and dusty pouch, which Naruto immediately picked up and tucked away, then setting the crate on fire before hopping down and walking away, this time randomly into the forest. The Haraishin, being a teleportation technique, was easily jammed by Guardians with even a small amount of ability in sealing. In fact, where he had teleported was as close as he could safely go.
Any further, and he ran the risk of being reduced to a pile of ash by the conflicting energies.
After he found another creek, this one a bit deeper and more turbulent, Naruto sat down, exhausted. Technically, he wasn't supposed to have moved out of the stasis field for another two days at the earliest, but he had never been one for technicalities.
He looked at the sun, saw that he still had a few minutes, then pulled out the small pouch and upended it into his hand. Five Senzu Beans, all of them slightly wrinkled with age bounced pathetically into his hand. That was it. All the backup cells he had. No Kyuubi, and no Josh, who had mentioned in passing that all the beans he left were for himself.
Five beans against six, potentially seven Bijuu-Enhanced Akatsuki members.
"Fuck My Life."
Author's Notes:
Yo, all.
Been two extremely busy months for me.
Finishing up high school, so college is up next. Gotta get those applications in. Along with the four AP classes chewing out of my ass and writer's block, it is rather hard to write sometimes.
Anyway, on to the note regarding the future of this series.
Timeless will be going on a Pseudo-Hiatus.
Now, the keyword here is "Pseudo".
Before ChronoMitsurugi starts a lynch mob to kill me, let me explain why it is a "Pseudo" Hiatus and not a true Hiatus.
I've been going back and rereading some of the older chapters, and to be frank, they're kinda embarassing.
So, during this Pseudo-Hiatus, i'll be going back and rewriting the first 8-10 chapters of Timeless, to bring them up to my current caliber of writing. Dont worry, the plotline wont change any, it's the fact that the lack of the number of reviews is disappointing, and i think the first couple of chapters is turning people off of this story.
So it's a Pseudo-Hiatus, but a Working Hiatus.
So go and get the originals before they're taken down FOREVER!
I think that's about it for now.
Since i'm going on this Pseudo-Hiatus, i havn't gotten the first part of the next chapter plotted out, but please hang with me. The long spans between chapters are me trying to fill in things in the middle of chapters. I know the start and the finish, it's just hard getting there.
Till next time.
Xingster