Chapter XXIV: Sonic Boom, Roar!

"Anything?"

"Nothing. No bijuu detected within fifty miles."

"Right. Let's set up a couple of defenses. Inventory?"

As Josh talked to Bonnie, Uzu treated Hinata's wounds with the remainder of one of the swordsmaster's medi-kits. "… Typical Josh. He's always been harsh in testing new protégé. Not as hard as the boss though-"

"Who's got a total of one active student." Josh deadpanned. "Whereas I have five. So don't even get me started on being harsh on potential students."

"… Yes, but you have a habit of making your students extremely lazy."

"Naruto has the even worse habit of killing his students." Josh shot back, picking up a turret that appeared seemingly from thin air.

"… Where the hell did that turret come from?"

"Huh? Oh, this thing?" Josh shrugged. "Just something old I had tucked away in a corner. Been refitting the Strife lately, so decent turrets are hard to come by. Got lucky and found something that I missed last time. How's Ms. Double-SSS?"

"… She's stable. Your little electro-shock bullet stunt was a bit harder to treat."

Josh sighed and hefted the turret to his shoulder. "That's your job. I'm gonna set up a few defenses around the village. Get her to the stasis field and come help me when you're done. Bonnie doesn't detect anything at the moment, but I expect that to change."

"I-Is Naruto-kun alright?"

"Ah! So you're awake. Well, to tell you the truth, I have no idea where the fuck he is." He shrugged. "Hiraishined off to god knows where after he woke back up."

"How about up your butt and around the corner? Sennin Goroshi!"

Josh didn't even bother moving, leaving Naruto to break four of his fingers on his energy shield. "Forgot about the shield and that technique not working on me, eh?"

"FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCC-"

"… What is with the extended cursing lately?"

"DOUBLE FUUUUUUUCCCCCCC-"

"Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"Whack-a-Mole no- WAAAAH!"

"Katsu! Katsu, DAMNIT!"

"Deidara-senpai! Explosives don't work well underwater!"

"KATSU!"

When one is trying to overload a soggy explosive with energy to cause it to detonate, one must be careful not to put too much initial energy into the detonation, lest you cause a-

KABOOM!

With a huge explosive report, the bomb that Deidara had been trying to detonate for five minutes finally combusted, sending him, Tobi, the Mizukage, four score of Mizu ANBU, and a chicken that had unfortunately wandered into the blast radius, all flying in different directions.

"Huh. I swear someone just detonated a huge bomb. Ah well. Feeling like yourself again, Naruto?"

"I have four broken fingers. DO YOU THINK I FEEL LIKE MYSELF!"

"Yep. He's fine. Double-SSS, feeling a little better?"

"H-Hai. Just… a little faint."

"Ah, that's just blood loss. You'll get over blood loss. Just need to drink some orange juice!"

"…Two quarts?"

Josh didn't deem to reply, instead kicking Uzu though another wall, this time taking out Naruto's stove, which if you believe it or not, was gas-powered. The escaping gas, as well as a spark sparked off another explosion which caused another section of the house to collapse. "Ah. Yeah. UZU DID IT!"

Hinata sweatdropped.

"Ugh… finally shook off that annoying Tobi…"

"No, senpai!"

"Wha? How the hell-"

"Whack-a-Mole no Jutsu, senpai!"

Deidara facepalmed. "Right." He said wearily. "Let's get to Konoha this time."

"Hai! Senpai!"

"Right. Primary firing control is up and going. Uzu. Take this riot shield and go test it out."

"… I don't think that a riot shield is going to protect me from 120mm cannon shells."

"Nonsense. I picked this up from a dead commando. Put a thousand rounds into it, and it was fine. Finally had to go up and stab the poor bastard in the temple."

"… Were you using BBs?"

Josh snorted, tightening another bolt. "Are you insulting me? 7.62 AP rounds, of course. Woulda used 50 cal, but there wasn't enough room to eject the casings. And the douche fucking modded. Fucking aimbot. But I got the better deal. Invulnerability, bitch. " He muttered under his breath. "Anyway, get on that, will ya? I'll get the next one set up. And where the hell is my cow?"

"… I've got a couple of Kage Bunshin on it."

"You had better. All this work is giving me an appetite.

"… What work? All you've been doing is telling me to go get shot by an anti-aircraft cannon."

"Who's been mounting the cannons to the walls?"

"I hate to interrupt your little lovefest," Naruto interjected, still waving around his fingers, but the riot shield will have to wait. Uzu, get Hinata to the stasis field and sedate her. Josh, get your ass up there and take that fucking turret down. I don't want a mushroom cap on my roof if I can help it."

"… Something you need to tell us, boss?"

"Nothing right now." The original blond said shortly. "You'll find out soon enough."

"N-Naruto-kun?"

"Not now. Deidara and Tobi are getting near. Rest, and I'll take care of these two idiots."

Josh snorted as he picked up another turret. "With your current power levels and a bijuu or two on their side? Yeah. Not going to work. You're more likely to vaporize a black hole then defeat those two right now. Let me get the turrets and a seal system set up, and then we'll work on taking down those two. Uzu, I need a sit-rep on those two."

"… Why me?"

"Go on. I'll take Hinata back."

"… Right… if you say so, boss."

"That's right. I do say so. Now, get going before I gut you like a fish."

"Naruto-kun. Aren't you being a little-" Hinata asked timidly.

"Nonsense. I just left Nacht dominant instead of Ki and Mak. We're about to go into combat, so it only made sense."

Josh kicked Uzu over the fence to divert any fangirls. "That's odd. You definitely had Roo in charge when we fought the Jashinist."

The blond shrugged, picking Hinata up bridal style. "Eh. Nacht wasn't quite awake yet. Looks like that last memory fragment did it."

"Well-" the swordsman said, poking his head over the damaged border wall. "I'm off. Can you give me a hand with the border seal? Kinda hard to set up something this big by myself. "

Naruto nodded gravely. "I'll get to that."

Josh nodded and hopped over the border fence, immediately taking off at high speed to avoid any potential fangirls. Though nowhere near as bad as Naruto's Fangirl Corps®, Josh also had his own Fangirl Team™ to deal with.

"Here we go. Stasis field."

Hinata sighed as the warm light washed over her aching limbs. Though Uzu had done a half-decent job at fixing her up, a Medi-kit was only designed for basic treatment. The stasis field, on the other hand, was designed to replicate a mid-level doctor, healing all but the most serious of injuries, which still required direct treatment.

"That should get you fixed up. Now, to take care of those to-"

"Wait, Naruto-kun."

The said blond froze, his hand halfway to his Kunai pouch. The voice was Hinata's, but it didn't quite sound like hers. "If we're doing this, the name is Nacht."

"Oh, Mr. Nacht. My… hero…"

'Nacht' turned just in time to intercept a hit from 'Hinata's right fist. Training took over his rational thoughts. Someone was attacking him. A threat. And what did Nacht do with threats?

He neutralized them. With brutal efficiency, brutal speed, and brutally overall.

Or rather, he tried to.

With an equally brutal grip, 'Hinata' caught Nacht's arm and held it steady.

"What the hell are you?"

"Ah… a fellow ID. You should know me. I paid a visit with my boss to your mindscape not too long ago."

"Mindscape… Wait a second. The only people to have access to the mindscape in the last seven years has been the boss, Josh, Kyuubi, and us. Unless-"

"Unless we came in when that mess of an energy wave was flying around in your head."

"Nigh- I mean, when it nearly got loose, possibly. But only Josh can get in. Nobody else has our energy signature-"

"Who do you think let us in?"

"Impossible. Josh knows not to let anyone-"

"Piggyback?"

'Nacht' facepalmed. "Typical. I suppose Uzu was guarding, was he?"

"Yes. Now, I need a word with your boss."

Nacht was instantly suspicious. If this Hinata could stop one of his attacks cold, despite the fact that he wasn't powered up, then she was nothing to scoff at. "I don't know." He said slowly, reaching for his sword. "I wouldn't feel safe letting him out to face you. I should call this in-"

Hinata slammed Nacht back against the wall, cracking the solid granite siding. "I said, I want to talk to Naruto. You're pretty good, Nacht, but I can already tell that you're not really a combat type, like you pretend to be. Do you want to know how?"

She got out of the stasis field, walked over to Nacht, and whispered two words in his ear. The ID immediately paled.

"Do you get it now?"

"Yes… I get it…" Nacht pulled out a cigarette, stuck it in his mouth, lit it, and had it promptly pulled out and crushed by a scowling Hinata.

"Don't ever smoke those in front of me. They're repulsive."

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll be letting the boss back out now."

Nacht flexed his fingers and put his hands into the trademark positions. After muttering a few words, Naruto's body relaxed and he reopened his eyes blearily. "Great. What kind of mess did Nacht get me into this time?"

"Oooh Naruto-kuuun-" Hinata sang, "Look who it iiiissss!"

Naruto facepalmed. "Fuck."

Josh hummed a little tune as he set up another turret. "Dum de dum… I feel like Naruto is cornered like a rat… dum de dum…"

"… I think I know how."

"I do too, Uzu. Now just stand still and wait for the shell… three, two, one…"

The resulting explosion and impact sent the fragment cartwheeling though the air.

"Yep. It works."

"Tobi?"

"Hai! Senpai!"

"You do know what Konoha is, right?"

"Hai! The Village Hidden in the Leaves!"

"Well then, I suppose this fits, but WHY THE FUCK IS THIS A RAT VILLAGE!"

Tobi had stopped paying attention to the explosives expert and was now whispering to a mouse. "See here. That's a bad man. He thinks you guys are rats. He wants to do nothing but-"

"KATSU!"

"MERCY!"

Josh sniffed the air again, sighing in contentment. "Ah… somewhere, someone is being bombarded for making a stupid decision…"

Uzu, looking rather frazzled after testing six of the turrets, sighed and raised his riot shield again. "… Despite what I say, I'm not ready."

"Right. Oooh. This one fires 200mm HE/A-AR rounds… SWEET!"

"… Fuck my life."

"So what you're saying is…"

"Yes, Naruto-kun."

"Fuck… I'm outta here. Get back in that stasis field and heal up. I'll be back as soon as I take care of those two."

"Take care of yourself, Naruto-kun." 'Hinata' winked at him.

The blond shuddered as he closed, locked, and sealed the door shut. That wink was too familiar from his memory to be familiar with it.

With another poof of dust, he disappeared from within his house, reappearing next to Uzu, who had just discarded the riot shield in disgust, lazily glaring daggers at Josh, who shrugged and sweatdropped.

"So, we got a terrorist and a clown. Well, I guess we know who gets what."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Simple. I get the terrorist, since I'm still a hit squad member. And well, the clown. For fuck's sake, do you even have to ask? You wore a goddamned orange jumpsuit for sixteen hundred years."

"I'll have you know-"

"Yeah, Yeah. Orange is the color of the gods. WE STILL HAVEN'T RUN INTO A SINGLE GOD THAT WEARS-"

"FUCK OFF! KAMI WAS WEARING-"

"Her bra doesn't count, Naruto."

As the two continued to bicker, Uzu sat back against another wall, folded his arms, and drifted off again, relinking with Naruto's mind in an attempt to save power. The original still hadn't had the spare energy to recharge his shell. Taking down Akatsuki was more important.

"Hello, Uzu."

The fragment cracked open one 'eye' and stared blearily at the person who had spoken. "…Oh… it's just you, Ki. Wait a second. The only time you're ever polite is when-"

Yoink!

"… you steal shit from me. What did you… ah, fucknuts..."

Ki had taken the Chakra Clone from Uzu and now possessed it.

"… Well, fuck. The boss is gonna kill me. Screw it." He shrugged, leaned over, and snored away.

"Keep the field stable… Keep the field stable… Would be a helluva lot easier if there weren't more birds in the air then leaves in the forest."

"What are you bitching about now?"

"Nothing."

"Right. Keep the energy flow up. I'm almost done. How the evac coming?"

Naruto sighed as he thought back a few minutes to when Tsunade had caught them both arguing about where to place the last turret.

Flashback Sequence 2.0.

"No, for the last time. Putting a cannon atop Ichiraku's is a bad idea. The shells would melt though the ceiling!"

"They'll be fine. The amount of heat generated by this model is fine. It's just a 36mm cannon…"

"THOSE ARE STILL ANTI-TANK ROUNDS-"

"And it's also the defense of last resort. If nothing else, it should buy everyone enough time to get away. I took on a person like this before. This one's shielded, and that's final. We still need to get a seal system down-"

"OI!"

"Oh, look, it's grandma. Hey, granny. Tell the ANBU to get their asses in motion and start evacing this place. I can't guarantee that we're going to be able to take down the terrorist without flattening this place."

"Terrorist?" Tsunade asked, confused.

"He means Deidara." Naruto explained, still trying to pry the turret off of the establishment with very little success.

"Exactly. We both use explosives in long-range combat. There may not be much left of this place. That's why we need you to evac. Get them somewhere far away. You might have two hours. I'll try luring them away from this place, but there's no guarantee that I'll be able to. The idiot here will hold the clown off."

"Watch who you're calling an idiot. Uzu's still sleeping."

Josh sighed as he checked his rifle for stress fractures. "No, Naruto. Uzu's just lazy. You're the idiot."

"I mean, you might wake him up. That would be bad."

The swordsman shrugged. "He knows not to attack me." And with that, he stomped on the turret, locking it down in place, almost taking Naruto's fingers with it. "The last time he tried, he ended up as fangirl bait. I don't think he'll try it again anytime soon."

"Yeah… maybe not. But still, I'm not-"

"Yes you are. Despite your IQ, you don't know how to fucking use it. Now, get to the highest point around here. It's going to be hard to project your energy the way you are right now." And with that, he picked up the protesting blond and threw him at the Hokage Monument.

That brings us back to present time, with Naruto standing atop his father's head, channeling as much raw chakra as he could muster. Which, admittedly, with the Seal of Unholy Draining locking down on him, was nowhere as powerful as it could have been, but still strong enough to get the job done. The only problem was…

"I'm out. Nothing… left…"

"And that's…. done. Phew. First time we've actually done a seal system on the first try."

"Good… now… shut… up… need… to… recover…"

"I'll test the damn thing. Take those solder pills and get ready. We've got about ten minutes left… I've picked them up on the GSAT-LADAR. "

"Right… Now… where are… those suckers…" He rummaged around in his pouch, pulling out a half dozen black pills, chomping them at once, disregarding the safety warnings not to do so. "Fuck it." He mumbled with his mouth full, standing up. "Madara is so going down…"

"TOBI!"

"HAI!"

"TOBI!"

"SENPAI!"

"TOBI!"

"SENPAI!"

"TOBI! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!"

"KONOHA, SENPAI!"

"BUT… Oh… so this is Konoha. Good job, Tobi."

Right as the words left his mouth, a shot rang out and nearly hit him in the head. When they both looked up at the walls, they saw an imposing silver figure, rifle still leveled squarely at them. "OI! OSAMA BIN BLONDIE! UP HERE!" He then fired a grenade at them, cackling loudly while reloading the said grenade launcher. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!" He yelled, leaping over their heads, firing another grenade at them.

Before either could really respond, half a dozen kunai surrounded them, two green blurs bouncing between them. "Tobi… RASENGAN!"

At that, Deidara and Tobi finally scattered, the latter staying to engage Naruto while the other one tried to head off the gunfire that was still spraying at him from the woods.

"Tobi is a-"

"Tobi is a dead boy, Madara. Cut the shit. I know it's you." Naruto growled, Rasengan still at the ready.

"Oh, poopie. Guess there's no reason for this mask now. I don't sense anyone in the village. Are you ready to come quietly?"

The original raised his clawed hand, attack still at the ready. "Does this give you an answer?"

Madara sighed and cracked his knuckles. "If that's your wish…"

As they both started to move, another blur shot in and landed smack between them, interrupting both of their forward progress. "Hey! What did I miss?"

Josh reloaded his rifle in mid-jump with one hand, his other still busy picking off incoming C1 bombs that were being thrown at him with ever-increasing speed. Somehow, with the addition of a bijuu, Deidara had also reduced the amount of clay needed for an explosion, as well as storing more of it in his body.

Or as a shadow-user would put it, mendokuse.

As he mused this, still picking off bombs inbound, he caught a glimpse of something streaking toward him from above. Much larger then the C1 bombs still coming up at him. It looked almost like a…

"The hell? Is that a white dragon?"

The swordsman engaged his boosters just in time to avoid being pasted by a HUGE C2 Dragon that Deidara had apparently conjured. Deidara had taken the time during the flyby to throw another double handful of bombs at Josh, who responded in kind by letting off another volley of rounds, taking out most of the bombs and tearing a few small holes in the left wing of the dragon.

"That's a BIG motherfucker." He mused to himself. "Ah well. Nothing a nice attack won't fix."

Then he looked down.

"Well. Fuck."

While he had been busy dodging the C2 and picking off the airborne C1, several Nendo Bunshin (Clay Clones) had been scattering ungodly amounts of C1 that were now all blitzing him at once.

Even to a complete idiot, there was no way that Josh's assault rifle had the ammo capacity to take down all of those bombs. However, that's not to say that Josh didn't have anything that couldn't.

Growling about burning expensive ammo, he slotted away his rifle and pistol, reaching instead into his dimensional pouch for two SMGs, each with two heavily extended clips. When the gun was loaded, it looked like little more than a heavily lopsided T, with the two clips, one in the handle, the other reaching out the back, both about five feet long. The damn thing didn't have any real accuracy beyond thirty yards, but with the amount of ammo it could dish out, it didn't really need any.

"HEY! BLONDIE! EAT THIS! ISG9-EXT3! DUAL-WIELD, BITCH!"

And with that introduction, he let loose on the trigger, sending a hailstorm of bullets downward, explosions lighting up by the hundreds as he chewed through wave after wave of bombs.

"Why… can't… I… hit… him!"

Naruto sighed as he threw another batch of Bullet Rasengan at Madara, only to have them pass through his ephemeral body. Ki's nearly impossible to hit. He thought as he charged up a Rasenshuriken. Not with that Graceful Combat ability of his active… "Futon: Rasenshuriken!"

The attack missed both Madara, who let it phase through him, and Ki, who did a bridge over it. "GODDAMNIT, KI! YOU COULD AT LEAST REFLECT IT… Oh, wait."

"I CANT USE CHAKRA, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!"

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR FORGETTING! GODDAMNIT YOU PISS ME OFF! WOAH!"

Naruto just barely phased out of the way of a fist from Madara, landing behind him and returning the favor with no success whatsoever. "AND YOU TOO! QUIT FUCKING RUNNING AWAY! YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!"

"I'm not running away! You just keep on missing!"

"THAT'S IT! BY THE POWER GRANTED TO ME, I CALL UPON THEE-"

He didn't manage to continue, as one of Madara's kunai pierced his throat.

"Got you-"

'Naruto' popped out of existence as another figure jumped over the walls of Konoha, sword drawn and shouting, "INITIAL HOLY GUARDIAN!"

"Power spike detected. Energy Frequency matches that of Orange Lightning. Spike level indicates-"

"I can read energy. Yeah, he's powered up. Ooops. Here's another one…"

Josh leaned back and cut open another C2's belly with his sword. Ever since he had taken out most of the C1 without much damage to himself, Deidara had abandoned the smaller bombs and instead sent flocks of C2s at him. He himself was standing on a much larger version of himself, the C4, and still channeling chakra for something unknown.

"That bomb looks just a little too big to blow up with small arms. Bon-bon. Get the cannons firing and the jet ready. I may need it at a moment's notice."

Josh shook his head and cut open another C2. He had to hit them on their bellies, or they would blow up, as he found out the hard way. When the first one had come after him, he dove right at it with his combat knife, stabbed it in the eye, and got caught in a huge fireball for his trouble.

His shield had stopped the blast cold, but even it couldn't stop him from being thrown uncontrollably through the air with half a dozen more dragons hot on his tail.

"Speaking of being hot on my tail…" the swordsman muttered as he flipped again, dodging another dragon… which exploded and sent him flying toward another dragon, which exploded as well, which sent him careening toward another dragon…

The entire thing looked like nothing more than a giant game of pinball.

Madara could no longer phase through Naruto's attacks, especially not with the blond supercharging his sword with Guardian Energy. It didn't really matter, though, since the aged shinobi could still dodge Naruto's hits with ease, even with him powered up.

"GODDAMNIT! STAY STILL! KI! A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

"I CANT FIGHT, YOU FRUITCAKE!"

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU STEAL IT FROM UZU! HE COULD FIGHT!"

"I WAS GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER SHELL FOR YOU, DAMNIT! RAIKIRI!"

He charged Madara, left hand enveloped in lightning, right hand grasping his sword, both swinging.

Both missed.

However, Naruto, expecting this, pivoted and drove his elbow straight into Madara's midsection, making connection for the first time, took his lightning-encrusted fist, and drove it right into Madara's face.

"Gotcha…"

"Not exactly."

When Naruto actually took a second glance, he saw that Kakashi's supreme technique had barely made a scratch on the Akatsuki member's mask.

It was at that point, when the two were staring each other down in the fight when the first of the antiaircraft guns opened up and sprayed hot metal toward the direction of the other major fight.

Naruto blinked and jumped away, sword still at the ready.

The blonde had an idea.

Bonnie was a 'Smart' AI.

Well, ok. She was in the 'Smart' classification, but nobody had managed to create a fully sentient AI yet. They were close, but still a few millennia off.

Regardless, it didn't take a 'Smart' AI to see that her host was in trouble. Constantly being thrown around like a pinball was not healthy, no matter what you were. There's a reason why there were always five or six pinballs in a machine. Use one too much, and it would break.

At the present moment, Josh was that pinball, the C2 Dragons the bumpers and the flippers, and Deidara was the guy controlling them all on the outside. She was sure that Josh could have broken free if he could power up, and the dragons couldn't do any real damage to him, but still it was bad for him to be thrown around for so long.

Hence the cannon fire.

Despite the fact that Deidara was still pumping out C2s with astonishing speed, the multitude of rounds coming out shattered them with overwhelming ease. The evening slowly faded away toward dusk as they continued to fight, neither side seeming to gain an advantage, with the exception that Deidara now had several C4s standing around, all the while still focusing chakra.

Josh, after being tossed around for the better part of five minutes, finally stabilized his flight, dodged two more C2s, then finally took the stance needed. "By the power granted to me, I call upon thee, Initial Holy Guardian!"

Author's Note:

YO! ALL!

I'M BACK!

Yeah, so i'm still working on the overhaul, but i remembered a policy that i usually hate.

Dont abondon your old crowd for a new one.

So, the overhaul is still going on, but i'm putting it on the back burner.

If you read the Prequels, SOL-LS and SP should be getting a update soon. They've both got about chapters that are 40 percent done.

Anyway, in case you havn't noticed, i've reverted to the shorter chapter format.

This mean there will be more overall chapters, but less wait time between each.

REJOICE!

I think i finally locked down why i was going so slowly.

Oh, and for all, this is the second-to-last chapter of the Deidara and Tobi Arc.

Next arc is one of my OWN CREATION!

And a couple of characters might show up...

Keep your eyes peeled.

Just saying.

As an additional note made AFTER (In other words, this is an ADDITIONAL A/N) Chapter XXV and XXVI will be a double-header, which means released back-to-back. If you're confused about some things in this story, which you should be, Chapter XXVI should give you some answers. Of course, only declassified history and abilities. Just to clear up the fog a bit, you know?

Anyway, until next time, recommend, review, read, and WORSHIP THE LOG! (Jk. Just finished rereading Third Fang. God, that guy can write.)

Oh, and i'm restarting Omakes soon.

That's about it.

Ja ne.

Xingster