Well I felt inspired to keep writing last night after the little mini smut fest I barfed out onto my laptop a few days prior with this story. I am now pretty worried that people didn't like it as much as I was hoping...maybe I'm out of practice I dunno. ( I think I'm just gonna hide again...behind the fat cat. I can hide in shame of the uninspiring chapter I guess.)

This story is a big part of my life nowadays and I felt like getting some more of it out and I wanted to share. I can only hope that I am not too forward in hoping that I am not losing my touch for these characters.

Read and review if you like, I am always hoping for positive feedback or "otherwise" in any way. Take care kids and I hope you like this next instalment, although I'm nervous again...um yeah...just read and trust me? XO

Bittersweet Symphony

That Voice

(KPOV)

Blaine.

Dammit I had it bad. Throughout the entire morning of lessons my mind had been falling back on the topsy-turvy weekend I spent with that man. My heart ached when I remembered the pain and loss in his eyes and in his presence when his family shut him out. The hurt look and feel on his face that made me want to care for him in any way that my being could still made me shiver uncomfortably.

I although couldn't wipe the smirk off my face that appeared when I remembered the rest of the weekend. The bonding he shared with my family and friends, the simple symbiotic relationship that we had that whole weekend, where my very happiness was linked to the smallest smiles and touches we shared. My dad and Carol had been so great with everything, welcoming him into the family, albeit in a rushed haze but it felt right somehow. Finn had dropped his guard and applauded me for opening myself up, Rachel definitely approved, so did Mercedes for that matter when we met for lunch, and even Puck had given me a long hug saying he was happy for me. I will leave out repeating the crude remarks that came out of Noah's mouth regarding Blaine but they were all dusted with his own version of caring that I knew so well.

It had felt nice to reconnect with my family and friends and to introduce them to a man that surprised me with his strength of character everyday. I could finally say that I was finding myself again, and that gorgeous, bubbly, but haunted man that my family had unconventionally welcomed without question was the main reason for the now stupid grin I was sporting these days.

The kisses and touches and the unbelievable high we shared that night at the motel, and the next morning actually because Blaine had a very talented mouth you see, lit up my face at the mere thought of it. We felt the need and ran with it with no regrets.

Blaine and I had stayed as long as we could at the motel wrapped in each other before we had the arduous task of leaving each others embraces and driving back home. I drove, he talked, and it was domestically peaceful, almost like we had crossed that barrier this weekend between dating, to being in an actual relationship. My first real one in many years.

We still didn't know everything about each other but now that we had bared our bodies and exposed some of our weaknesses, we seemed to be on the same page and moving forward without hesitation. The kiss goodbye sealed the deal that we would make it a top priority to fit the other into our busy and hectic lives.

It had been a few weeks now, both of us being busy in our own rights. Blaine had his usual lessons and then he picked up more tutoring sessions with his two proteges, plus he was even locking himself in his apartment writing up a storm because for once his creative musical juices were flowing he says. He seemed tense but I knew what it was like in my own right.

I, on the other hand, was back in full swing, new lesson plans, new classes and I had taken on the extra responsibility of coaching Kenny, my golden student. Blaine and I had seen each other quite a bit, coffee's here and there, a dinner date at a Korean grill that had opened up in his neighbourhood, and we texted literally non stop. Our physical relationship hadn't had the time to blossom because of our schedules, but I for once wasn't rushing anything, I was happy with our pace. I was also beginning to make time for Finn and Rach more now, since I came to the realization that I had missed them terribly over the last year or so, the apparent void in my heart slowly seeming to close. Blaine had also kept in close contact with Nick as of late as well, like he had promised. He had told me all about him and Jeff over one of our coffee get togethers, and said that we should have a double with them since they we both dying to meet me.

Meeting the friends...I guess turn about was fair play, he had met my family already. *gulp*

XXXX

I really should be acting like a TA now and not a love sick teenager off in his own world.

I was trying to be my usual authoritative self this afternoon, but I couldn't shake the happiness. I was almost drunk off of it and I hadn't felt this way since...well since ever I guess you could say.

It was in Kenny's class that I found myself daydreaming about Blaine, Thanksgiving and the upcoming dinner with Jeff and Nick this evening at Blaine's. I was a nervous bundle of energy and I must have had a stupid look on my face because one of my students shook me out if it.

"Umm Mr. Hummel, are you okay? You just look really glossed over?"

It was Maria, a quiet Hispanic girl that I knew very little about even though I was her teacher and had been since Voice II...this was now an opera major course and she was a graduate. I guess I hadn't been paying too much attention to these kids or their lives, and it made me a little shameful to say the least.

She looked terrified asking me anything, and I felt bad that my cold but usually effective way of approaching these kids would make them so afraid of my feared bitch wrath. So this was my attempt at turning over a new leaf.

"Uh wow sorry Maria, sorry guys, just had a lot on my mind recently. Please excuse the deer in headlights look, although if I do say so myself I pull off the look fabulously." I relaxed my posture, complete with hip twitch and eye roll before smiling at all 8 of my graduate kids.

They laughed...with me, not at me. Well this was a welcome surprise, I hadn't felt this kind of attention in a while. I glanced at my watch and saw that we had 20 minutes left in the lesson, so I conjured up an idea.

"So...I think we have officially over theorized the valued influence of Igor Stravinsky's stylistic diversity for one lesson, don't you agree?"

The group looked utterly confused, but I could tell they were as bored as I was.

"Come on...put your textbooks away and lets stop the theoretical lesson for a second." I don't think I knew where this was coming from any more than my students did.

"Um sir?"

"Kenny please I thought I asked you to call me Kurt since I have been reduced to shortening a beautiful name like Kenneth to Kenny, which makes you sound like a cartoon preschooler."

The whole class gasped but as Kenny and I began to laugh the rest seemed to join in as they lowered their text books.

I was leaning against the piano in the study room, facing the now grinning and relaxed faces of my graduates and I felt extremely calm although exposed which was a first for me in front of these guys in a long time. It wasn't like I didn't have a great rapport with my students, it's just that I had always kept the professionalism bar extremely high. From past experience acting truly like myself never had great consequences but now seemed like the time to change that.

"So um Mr. Hummel..."

"Kurt please Gloria, go ahead.."

"O-kay, Kurt...wow that's weird..."

"It's weird for me too honey but it's kind of nice not sounding like you guys are referring to my father, I want you to be comfortable, now you had a question?"

"Yeah, well you kind of hit it on the nose. Well you seem different recently...Kurt... and we were kind of wondering what gives? We love your teaching methods be sure, but you've seemed more relaxed, we were just wondering if everything was okay with you sir, that's all."

I took my glasses off my face and rested them on the lecture stand to my right, rubbing the bridge of my nose as if that would clear my head. Upon looking up I saw 8 expectant faces all completely tuned in to what I said. They had always been a tentative bunch but over the years I hadn't really seen them like this, or maybe I hadn't been truly paying attention. I smiled at them and relaxed, feeling a weight that had been on my shoulders lift slightly for a long time, but I had only just noticed it.

I was a good teacher, but why had I ever been this closed off was beyond me. Here were eager young minds, like my own, only waiting for me to stand there and help mold them with a passion that I shared, and I had squandered it for fear that I would receive the same negativity of my youth. I needed to make up for lost time, well at least make an attempt at it.

"Guys...I know that I come across, well frigid on occasion, and that's mostly from, well let's say past experiences creating a guard as it were... but recently, well I've had some good things happen in my life, and I want to change my approach somewhat."

Okay now I was really confusing them. They all shared slightly nervous glances at each other before collectively waiting for me to continue.

"Hhhh...okay let's try a different approach."

I went and leaned against the small desk beside the piano and closed my eyes, willing the wall to fall for a minute so I could just be Kurt for a minute.

"When I was in high school, which seems like a bazillion years ago now, I never wanted to be an opera teacher, or opera singer. I wanted to be a Broadway star with his own fashion line, hence the already created self diva attitude." The room laughed as I swept my hair back a little, remembering how Mercedes and I used to use that as our handshake of sorts. I relaxed enough to continue with a large breath, but I sensed the tension in the room still though, so I opened up a tiny bit about myself.

"I came to the realization that a man with a very high and ...unique...natural singing voice had a very limited variety of lead roles to choose from in modern musicals or even musical revivals. But... I didn't stop performing because it was what I loved."

The group looked a little shocked at my honesty but nodded knowing I was right, and that they appreciated that I was opening up, and kept any negativity, if they harboured anything towards me, to themselves.

"Finding opera, it's power, it's fluidity and beauty was a game changer for me. All the doors that closed in my face, all the rejections towards me were only made more bittersweet when opera opened up opportunities for my particular talent. It was something I didn't expect and now I'm here in love with my job, you guys, and I just want you all to know more about me. I want you to know that I have been there, done that, and gotten the horribly over priced and gaudy t-shirt to boot. I can just hope that you guys are comfortable enough with me to share yourselves and your passions. I may not look it, these accursed youthful features ya know, but I am old enough to help you as people and performers...not just as students..and recently I've come to learn..."

I looked over at Kenny who was smiling now and sharing a knowing grin about our impromptu duet on exam day. It was at that moment that something had changed in me, reminded me that even though I was a teacher, well technically only a TA but I ran most of my classes, I should have also been a friend and mentor. I had some great teachers growing up, Mr. Schue from high school in particular most of the time, that helped me along with my trials in performing. I wanted that with my students because until now I hadn't realized the impact those individuals had had on me.

"...that I think I need to lighten up a little. Wow sorry guys that was way heavier than I thought it was going to be. Please excuse the hallmark moment."

The room laughed again as I buried my face in my hand and joined them.

"Wow, thank you for sharing that Kurt, ummm...you said you wanted to be on Broadway, we can all assume you love show tunes them...what was your favourite?"

I jumped to sit on the desk, crossing my legs comfortably as I began to talk with my hands.

"Oh god where do I even begin. You know what you've done by opening these flood gates Kenny, I won't shut up if I start."

Kenny chuckled, " It's okay, we've got all term." The agreement was palpable in the group so I smiled fully, and for once not selfishly, for the first time in my teaching career

For those remaining 15 minutes I talked Broadway with my opera students. They asked me questions and even shared a little about themselves in the short time remaining in the class. After the time elapsed, I reminded them all about there work that was due by the next class but I also gave them an assignment that was very reminiscent of my high school glee days.

They all had to tell me their biggest secret or dream from high school. Who they wanted to be and why they had chosen opera as a major. I wanted to get to know them as people and figuring out their passions and their dreams was one step closer to that. I would try this out on my graduates and then expand it to my newer students. I hoped this more relaxed approach would and could only strengthen the bond I had with my kids. They respected my talent as a young but experienced TA, but I wanted that connection, the one I wanted from more teacher from my past that I knew I could give, if they were willing to allow me to.

For the first time in a while all of my students left visibly happier after a class, and I wondered if maybe this could be a tradition of sorts, taking a few minutes during class to dream, hope and share in the company of like minded individualism.

I couldn't wait to tell Blaine.

XXXX

(BPOV)

I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just some of the mild side effects. This is new, it's just gonna take a while to get used to. But god would it please just stop ringing for five minutes!

I shook my head yet again, trying to rid myself of the fuzzy ring that I felt in my ear and the spots that kept popping up in my vision. It was fruitless, but the instinct to try and shake it all clear was till winning out. Small greenish dots dancing just out of grasp, but I knew they would go away, they had to, I just had to calm down.

I was leaning against the sink in my bathroom, trying to calm the overload of the sensations. I had reached for the medicine cabinet again, looking at the line up of various medications that I had started the other week, and I inhaled sharply at the amount of medications I was now on. When Kurt and I got back from our holiday weekend I started the steroid treatment as instructed and as directed. I had been warned by the doctor and the pharmacist that sometimes steroids did cause mild hallucinations, nausea, mood changes and any other random cacophony of mild ailments, but there were some scary harsher ailments as well. Despite those I had started them anyway, knowing that this was a chance to actually get better and not just settle, and maybe after this treatment course I could sense a real improvement.

It was only a 6 week course on a high dose and then I would taper off before stopping them to note any progress. Unfortunately because giving me localized steroid treatment was impossible because there was no immediate source for my condition, I had to subject all of my body and its functions to the drug and it was starting to take it's toll.

It had heightened my sensitivity to everything, although my muscles were more tired these days, and I felt like I was retaining a lot of water, feeling swollen, but these were only minor problems which I was expecting...the ringing in my ears was NOT expected and was driving me insane.

Unfortunately when Kurt got here an hour ago, jumping up and down about his amazing day and his new revelation with his students and himself for that matter, I could only half pay attention. The ringing in my ears was a noise, one that I hadn't actually heard in a while and at first it was welcome and new but it had been hours and it still hadn't quite subsided, so I wasn't in the best mood, nor could I focus.

Kurt was a little angry and was now finalizing the dinner prep in the kitchen before Jeff and Nick got there, but he was only upset because I hadn't told him about the side effects as of yet so he didn't know why I was inattentive. I also hadn't really told him about the new mediation I was on at all either. I know that I should have, but I was being overly proud as per usual, and I didn't want Kurt to worry about me anymore than he already did. It had taken a while before Kurt and I had successfully forgotten about all the bad happenings that weekend to settle on the good ones. I had even filed away the paperwork from my parents and said we would deal with them later. I didn't want any more negativity in my life right now, and Kurt agreed as usual to help me in anyway possible.

I didn't like to think of myself as broken and telling him that I was having more issues...well that didn't bode well for my ego.

Earlier he had said, " Sorry I just had a good day, I'll let you relax, and I'll finish the dinner preparation for your friends."

It hurt a little to think that Kurt wouldn't want Nick and Jeff to be his friends too, but I could tell that he was just pissed off at my lack of enthusiasm. I really needed to tell him what was bothering me.

I wanted to deal with this on my own, but I quickly starting kicking myself that I hadn't said something to Kurt earlier as I felt my grip on reality slipping away.

Oh god I can't breathe...calm down Blaine...fuck my head hurts!

The green spots faded to black as it became harder to breathe. I felt a surge of pain in my head, my brain felt like it was pushing past migraine status into a new level of torture and I started to lose it, breathing harshly and slipping onto my knees on the hard tiled floor.

My first instinct was to cry for help.

"KURT!"

I yelled as loud as I felt I could and even the volume of my voice hurt my ears. Everything was amplified, for the first time in years I swear I could hear my heart beat, the light in the bathroom blindingly white. I heard footsteps hard and fast coming from the kitchen.

I heard footsteps?

And a voice...Kurt?

"Blaine? BLAINE! Oh my god, Blaine..."

I was now lying on the floor curled into myself, holding the bottle of pills like a vice, gripping onto the one tactile sensation I could as I felt Kurt kneel beside me and grab what I was holding out of my hand.

"Kurt! M-make it stop, I c-can't...w-what's hap-pening?"

Kurt in what could have been nanoseconds dropped the bottle on the floor and ran out of the room. In that moment I panicked even more than I already was, thinking had Kurt been so disgusted with me, angry at the medication I was on and didn't tell him about, and with that he had run out the room and my apartment in sheer shock? I deserved it for not telling the man I loved what I was doing to my body in hopes of getting better, I was a bad boyfriend, I knew he deserved better and...

A moment later my head was being lifted, my body still shaking and convulsing at its own will, and I was sweating way more than normal. I felt a warm hand under my head laying me against a jean clad lap, the other arm wrapped around my chest trying to keep me from shaking.

That voice...Kurt had come back? He was holding me and whispering that he was there? That he would never leave me?

That voice, I could hear him...the euphoria of the situation, Kurt came back, almost cancelled out the pain in my head and now that of my stomach, which lurched wanting to empty it's contents.

I was going to die, here on the floor of my own bathroom. All of my senses and systems were rebelling against me, all that kept me grounded was that voice.

"Emergency? Yes, my boyfriend is having a medication reaction, maybe a seizure I don't know I just need an ambulance now! I can't loose him...please!"

Just before my world went black I heard Kurt say my address vaguely before pulling me tighter. Hey, if I was going to die at least I would be in his arms...god the pain was just too much, my ears, my chest, my head...I couldn't...

Darkness.

(KPOV)

Keep him from choking on his own vomit, but keep the head turned in case he vomits. Cradle him, hold his position but don't move him too much and don't constrict. Check his breathing and remain calm. Carol's teachings had come back into full play now...all I could do was hope that the paramedics got here quickly.

Don't you dare leave me now Blaine Anderson...you're stuck with me...don't you dare give up now...

Wow okay so I was planning on bringing this thing in later but somehow it just kind of happened. Remember that cat I was going to hide behind?...well now I think I need an actual box to hide in with him because this cliffhanger is harsh! Please don't hate me, I'm sorry, especially since you were all probably expecting some Niff love in this chapter too.

Well please leave me your notes, comments, reviews but please no cyber slushie facials...iceberg bitch slaps are not constructive criticism LOL...

I love you...did I mention that? All of you...with cookies and klainebows and bow ties? Because bow ties are cool.

I'm gonna go now and write some more...um... less than three? Xoxo

*hides*