I wake up to the unpleasant sound of Effie Trinket's high-pitched voice complaining about disgrace and sponsors. I can see Haymitch sitting beside my with an irritated and bored look on his face.

I can tell that we're on the train by the ceiling, it's the same diamond chandelier that is in the dining carriage. I groan at the whining noise that Effie is making, it's making my head throb violently.

"Where am I?" I stammer out.

All the noise suddenly ceases and the mentor and the escort notice my awakening.

"What happened? Is the Reaping over? Why are we already on the train? Where are our tributes?" I ramble on and on and I begin to sit up, though I become dizzy once I do so. I'm so confused. What happened? The last thing I remember is Effie calling out Peeta's name then nothing, blank. I have no memory of what happened afterwards. Haymitch is looking at me like I'm crazy while Effie just shakes her head and proceeds to pace the room.

"Stop pacing Effie, if you do anymore you'll make a hole in the train. Plus you're making me dizzy," I moan.

She stops in her tracks and glares at me, "That is the least of your concerns Katniss. Do you have any idea what happened? Obviously not. You fainted before the ceremony finished! Right after Peeta was reaped! What was that? You made us look weak. You, out of all people! I would have never guessed. How are we going to get sponsors now? If they think that we have a weak mentor? We lost both our tributes last year in the bloodbath, we don't have a good reputation, and now they think we're weak. No one will want to sponsor us now. Thanks to you. You're supposed to be helping them get out of there alive –"

"And you're the one sentencing them to their deaths," I cut her off. And she looks stunned about how I talked back, "so I think that you should shut up because you don't have the right to accuse me of that. Excuse me."

I walk out of the dining cart and bump into Peeta.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking," he says. His voice is trembling, I can see from his eyes that he has been crying. I can't blame him, but he can't look weak in the arena. In a sense, Effie was right, I did make my District look weak, "are you okay?"

I snap out of my thoughts, "Huh? What?"

"I said are you okay? You fainted and hit your head pretty badly."

"Oh, um, I'm alright. Thanks. Haymitch is in the dining cart if you're looking for him."

"Thanks, in fact I was."

He brushes past me and I'm left alone once again.

I was called to dinner by Haymitch and I'm stuck between Effie and Vailea. Joy.

I help myself to a couple pieces of lemon and pepper chicken with roasted potatoes while Peeta and Vailea gorge themselves. Afterwards I can see them looking a little green. I can't blame them though, they're probably not used to such rich food, even if they were both merchants. That actually may put us in a disadvantage, since they're merchants , they had enough food and didn't have to starve. They don't know how to be hungry. But they aren't bad, Peeta's well built, I've seen him lift a hundred pound bag of flour right over his shoulder, at least he has strength on his side. I'm not sure about Vailea though, I've only seen her around town once in a while, but she was always alone, seemingly in her own little world, I just hope she learns to keep aware in the Games.

Haymitch decides to break the silence, "So tell me, what can you guys do?"

Peeta shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "Nothing really. I'm not good at anything."

I can't control myself and the words just spill out, "Peeta's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pound bag of flour before."

Haymitch nods in approval and looks at Peeta, he just turns red and looks down towards his lap.

"What about you Vailea?" I ask.

"Um, I can throw knives I guess. Not very well, but I can throw them."

Haymitch and I look at each other, a smile creeping up on our lips.

"Well Katniss, it seems as though we got ourselves a pair of fighters this year."

I sit next to Effie when we're watching the recaps of the reapings. I'm nervous about the Careers this year, particularly District Two, this year they have two volunteers as usual, but they're both tall and strong, even the girl. It looks like they can take down both my tributes in less than a minute. They have to go against tough competition. The little hope that I had about one of them possibly coming out of the arena is gone. There's no way that they can go against this group, compared to them, even Peeta looks small and weak.

Haymitch and I send each other nervous glances as the reapings come and go. But what horrifies me most is when a young girl from District Eleven is picked. She can't be more than twelve, and no one volunteers for her. Her male district partner is big and strong, it looks as if he was part of the Careers. I think their names are Thresh and Rue. She reminds me of Prim, and I can't help but be ecstatic that she wasn't picked.

After the reapings Peeta and Vailea go off to sleep, they have a big day ahead of them tomorrow, with the Tribute Parade. I just hope that Portia and Cinna keep their word about making District Twelve memorable.

Haymitch begins to give me suspecting glares, "What?" I ask him.

"What was that? At the reaping? You looked absolutely horrified when the boy's name was picked. You turned pale and just passed out. You never do that, you're always so strong and you refuse to back down. I would have never though that you would break down at the sound of a name. So, there has to be a reason for it."

And there is. But should I tell him? It was something personal, I wouldn't be where I am now if not for him. But, do I like where I am now? But without him, I would've been dead, and so would my family.

I begin to stutter, "B-because he's the reason why I'm standing here now."

"What do you mean?"

"Years ago, my father had just died, my mother practically left us, we were starving, my family was dying, and it was raining that night. I had tried to sell baby clothes but with no avail. I was so desperate that I began to go through garbage bins. And I stumbled into the backyard of the bakery, his mother caught me going through their bins, and she started scolding me, calling me awful names. But the bins were empty anyway. I lost hope, and I was going to die, I could feel it. And I waited, and waited, and waited under the rain. I waited for death. But it never came. Because someone helped me. I heard his mother's voice screaming at him from inside the bakery, her shrill voice filled my ears. The next thing I heard was a sharp crack. And a little boy came out the backdoor, and threw me two loaves of burnt bread.

The next day, I saw him with a bruised eye. I wanted to say thank you, because he saved my life. I can never repay him after what he did. I just feel so guilty that I have to prepare him for death, because he's the one that saved me from it.

We caught each other's eye, and I saw a dandelion. And I knew, just like that, that there could be hope again."

Haymitch was looking at me like I was crazy, "You have no way to repay him back? Katniss, you're so stupid. He saved your life once, now you can save his. Instead of preparing him for death, prepare him for victory. Because you and I both know that he can win this. Because Effie was wrong about one thing, it doesn't make us look like bad mentors, it makes us look like we care. And before you passed out, I could see that camera trained on you, and you had a look of horror that said you had a past with this boy. That will help us gain sympathy."

I look at him and I finally understand. I can't sit back and train Peeta like I did last year, I'm going to have to train him extra hard to get him home, to get him back to safety. I need to repay him back. But the thing is, death is usually the easier way out once you're reaped for the Games. Once you win, you're forever under the watchful eye of the Captiol, or more specifically, President Snow.

Winning brings more pain than dying.

And I'm not sure that I can bring him into this hell.

I'm lying in my bed, and I'm restless. I don't think that I can face being plagued with nightmares tonight.

I hear a clatter outside of my door and a deep voice. Since I can't sleep anyway I decide to investigate.

Outside I see Peeta.

His hair is sticking out all over and his eyes are a bit red. His features are illuminated by the moonlight and his striking blue eyes are reflected in my own. He looks almost, attractive. He always was though, just in this lighting, he looks radiant.

"I'm sorry Katniss, did I wake you?"

"No, I couldn't sleep anyway, I guess this just gave me a chance to get out of my room."

He smiles slightly at me.

"Look, I'm sorry you got reaped."

His smile immediately wipes off of his face and his eyes are filled with sadness, "It's alright, really, I guess there's nothing I can do but accept it right? It's happened, might as well accept it. I mean, even though I know I have no chance, I still have to try."

"Don't say that you have no chance. Everyone has a chance."

"Did you see those Careers? They can snap my neck like a twig. I'm a goner but I guess I don't want to die on their terms."

"What do you mean?"

"If I'm going to die, I want it to be my own doing. Goodnight Katniss, see you tomorrow."

I place my hand on his shoulder, "Thank you."

"What?"

"Nothing, just, thank you."

He nods and leaves. I've finally thanked him, something that was long over-due. But it still wasn't enough, not for me anyway. I'm more determined than ever to get this boy home.

That night I dreamt of the night I died.