*deep breath* Okay guys. I know I let a lot of you down. And I know that a lot of you may be ready to just give up on me. But here I am.
I had a really bad relapse in the past few days. I just couldn't do it anymore you guys. I didn't see any purpose to my life and I was completely ready to...die I guess. But, I held on. And of course, something...good happened. Just a little thing, something small and barely noticeable. But I saw that, and I just started living again. I'm no longer dead skin walking around. I feel alive. I'm imperfect and ugly and strange, but in time, I think I will come to love that about myself. So, here I stand, ready to get rid of this depression. For good. It's time I said good-bye to that evil thing inside and brought out the good, growing thing inside. It's time.
So, here I am, ready to continue this story, and hopefully many others! Just seeing all those reviews you guys, they really brightened my days and helped me just move on finally! So THANK YOU! And, can you believe it? 364 reviews and it's only chapter 14! Oh my gosh you guys. I would have never, ever believed that I would EVER receive even a fraction of that many reviews! Words cannot describe the utmost gratitude I feel right now. Really. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million, bajillion, billion, to infinity times!
And of course, REVIEW ANSWERS!
Tangleflame: aw shucks, thank you! Completely and totally undeserved, but appreciated all the same :) I know for a fact that you're NOT a terrible writer! Don't give up on your dream! Keep going and getting better. If words are where you belong, don't you dare ever try to escape that.
TearStainedAngel: ah, my old friend. You never fail to bring a smile to my face :) see, I'm smiling just reading your name! Thank you so much for you review. It meant a lot to me. Although, I wasn't aware you hated Darkflight, but hey, everyone's got an opinion. I do understand dark. I understand lying and hiding your entire life, smiling just to keep the questions away, and inside, wanting someone to finally just see past that mask and realize, you're not okay. You're really not. I truly understand all that. I know what it's like to want to see something suffer, to see your own pain reflected in another just so you know you're not alone. I understand.
Squirrelheart: "beautiful" deary, and thank you ever so much :) I really don't deserve to live, but it's nice to know someone thinks I do. :)
Nonameknight: ah, you return! Anyway, you make me smile with your genuine words :) I'm pretty sure I don't deserve them, but I still appreciate them all the same. I love you too, and I'm sorrry the chapters are becoming farther in between. I've been getting busy lately and It really sucks, but I'll try harder, I promise! But, how do things get better, if I'm not even sure I want to keep trying?
Darkflight of DeathClan: Oh. My. Goodness. You really changed your name because of Darkflight? Honey, I can't even begin to tell you much that means to me! Thank you dear! Is it bad I didn't cry while writing that part? No, I was just sorta numb. I still can't believe he's just...gone. And thank you for the "heart of gold" compliment. That part really made me smile :) Thank you.
Random Falcon: deary, words can describe the love I feel for you after that review :) I've also heard the mirror tip, but here's the thing. I don't like anything about myself. I'm ugly in every way, I'm stupid, I'm slow, I'm physically and artistically challenged. There's a long long long list. That I'm trying very hard to shorten, I swear. And don't you dare call yourself a wimp because you have the guts to spill tears. If anything, tears are what prove you are a strong, strong person.
Silvertail of ShoreClan: Despite your apparent difficulty with spelling ;) I love you ever so muchh! (And don't mind my spelling comment. I have problems with spelling too xD) Thank you for your exorbitant compliments :) They made my entire day just to let ya' know! I apologize a thousand times over for making you cry! Gosh, I'm a terrible person. I'm making my readers cry! I'm so sorry! Don't cry, please? I mean, cry because my horrible writing made you cry, but don't cry because I made you. :D LOVE YOU!
Mistyflower68: Thank you new reviewer! *hands Darkflight plushie* Welcome to the craziness!
Galefire: ah, my dear friend! Goood to read you again :) *hands Darkflight plushie* I know, I know, I miss him so much. I do indeed feel better, though not as soon as I would have liked :/ But hey, I'm getting there! And how have you been deary? Good I hope?
Ashheart15: Thank you for your strong belief in me! Heartens me, it does indeeed :) I hope this chapter is all you wanted!
Sparrowclaw of ThunderClan: Wasn't it just? I couldn't believe it when I posted it. He's just gone, and it's...empty where Darkflight used to be. Oh dear, it hurts to have him just...gone you know?
The Freak of Nature: I like your choice of words ;D Thank you for your compliments. It makes me happier than you could ever believe to hear that I am an inspiration to people, even though I totally don't deserve such recognition. I LOVE YOU!
Viper332: I was your inspiration? Really? Oh dear, I'm tearing up now. I can't believe you think my writing is that good. That is the greatest compliment anyone has ever given me. Don't worry dear. Just for you guys, I'll NEVER give up.
starbomb: it was indeed a sad chapter. Goodbye Darkflight! :'( Thank you sweetie for your undue compliments. I really don't deserve them :)
Spottedflame: Oh my gosh, your cat died? I am so so so so so so so so so so so so SO sorry for you! God bless his/her little soul and may He accept him/her into his glorious kingdom where you shall be united hopefully far from now. And my dear, I would never quit this story. It's too precious to my heart. The characters especially. I could never just leave them behind.
Raintail of RiverClan: Dear, your review brought me close to tears. Thank you so much. I could never even think of comparing myself to those great authors, true geniuses in their area of expertise. I want you to know, I would also wait as long as I have to for you. If you ever need anything, indeed if any of you need anything, I'm always here. Always.
sol de luna: indeed, I even got a LAPTOP to write my stories on! No more sharing a dino computa! Ohmygosh, popcorn is like my favorite food! LOVE popcorn! Thank you, and wasn't it sad? It still hurts...
CrimsonEyedWolf112: haha, you made me laugh :D I'm also known as the group psychiatrist, ironically enough. It is super hard for me to take my own advice...anyway, thank you dear! I may just take you up on that offer someday so be ready!
XxBlazestormXx: now, what did I say about the cussing? Though I am also eager to kill Shadowfur. I really hate/love him!
MissVal22: wow, thank you! For reviewing and everything! the fact that you don't normally review really makes that review even more special to me! I really am trying to not give up. I just can't help it sometimes. What's even stupider is that nothing is wrong in my life. Sure, I've got the normal stress of any teen in high school, but my family is like any normal family, my friends love me and I love them, and well, nothing is wrong. But I just get these impotent feelings and it really sucks sometimes. Especially because no one knows. Urgh, I'm going all depressed on you aren't I? SORRY! Anyway, thank you once again! Your review really lifted my spirits! I feel honored that you consider me to be a good author :)
The Unheard Song: Thank you! I am so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. That's really sad and just messed up. No 11 year old should be unhappy. It's the last year that contains the magic of childhood. Again, thank you for telling me I have talent. It really raised my spirits up!
runningmist: deary, writing is the only thing that keeps me sane! Of course I wouldn't stop! I love you guys too much to stop!
kingszey: Aw shucks, thanks :D
gusgus0222: I would never stop! And I'm so sorry things aren't going right at the moment. If you need someone to talk too, my PM box is ALWAYS open :)
AXGHunterMae: You are NOT bad writer! (sound familiar?) Your stuff is great! Don't stop trying dear, no matter what! Chase your dreams and make them a reality! And i loved your original quote :) here's mine: "Run until you can't anymore. Then, you will fly." ~me
The Bearer of Secrets: AW, thank you! I love your violent methods of making me feel better! You make me smile! And you just gotta love awesome fourteen year old guys with bieber hair xD Especially when you're me, a depressed 14 year old girl who read that comment and laughed for the first time in a while xD
ON WITH THE STORY!
Chapter 14
Rosepaw
Rosepaw lay, cold and unmoving, beside her father, who breathed no more. On his other side, she could hear her mother's broken sobbing and her brother's raspy murmurs. Rosepaw blinked away yet another flood of tears.
Father…
"Daddy, why can't I play with Maplekit today?" young Rosekit asked her father, gazing at him with clear, sightless eyes. Darkflight bent his head near hers, gazing at his daughter affectionately.
"I just don't want you to get hurt," he murmured gently. His daughter blinked up at him, her expression identical to her mother's.
"But I will get hurt eventually, won't I?" she asked, confused. Darkflight gave a purr of amusement.
"Rosekit, when you love someone, it hurts you when they get hurt. You just want to take that pain away from them, take it all away so they won't have to feel it anymore. So, I don't want you to hurt for a long, long while, okay my blooming rose?" he meowed, voice deep and warm. Rosekit gave a purr, rubbing herself against his legs.
"I don't want you to get hurt either, Daddy, because I love you too," she whispered. Darkflight felt himself choke up, overwhelming love filling his heart.
Rosepaw jerked back to the present, where snow was soaking through her fur and she could feel a weak dawn light beginning to shine on her face. If she could only be a kit again, where the days were short and life was filled with joy and promise. When everything wasn't so complicated and torn.
"Rosepaw," she heard Leafstar murmur behind her.
Without turning her head, she meowed, "I know." Sighing, she heaved herself to her paws.
"Mother," she whispered, padding to where Ravenwing lay, whispering to her dead mate. Rosepaw nudged her. "It's time."
Rosepaw sat beside her brother, fur brushing comfortingly as she listened to the elders lift her father and bear him away.
I'll never forget what you taught me, her heart cried as he was taken away forever.
"I think I'll go get some sleep," her brother mumbled before padding off. Rosepaw felt strangely awake. Or maybe she was just numb. Either way, she slipped to her mother's side.
"Ravenwing…"
"I didn't love him at first. Oh, no. No, it was after he fought that fox off that I really began to see we had been made for each other. The last words he ever said to me, last night before I went to sleep, were 'I haven't quite grown my wings yet'. Who would have known he would be the one to soar away," her mother muttered. Rosepaw could feel her twitching and she began to worry for her mother's sanity.
"Go get some rest, mother. Darkflight soars in the stars," Rosepaw whispered, leading the distraught she-cat to the warrior's dens.
Steadily, the sun began to rise. No one bothered Rosepaw, and Rosepaw spoke to no one. She needed this time to herself only. She wandered like a ghost on the edges of the camp. At last, around sun high, she slipped into the cold forest.
Once under the trees, she began to relax. The snow crunched beneath her paws and the forest seemed strangely silent. Yet, here, where Rosepaw had always belonged the most, she felt strangely out of place. Loud, bizarre and just not meant to be there. Finally, she stopped amidst the gnarled roots of a huge oak tree.
Leaning against the solid tree, she no longer tried to keep back the many memories of Darkflight, all filled with light and laughter. So absorbed was she that she didn't notice the large raven land in front of her until it was a few feet from her paws.
Rosepaw blinked, the scent of the raven filling her nostrils. Strangely, the bird seemed to be showing no fear of the predator in striking distance of it.
Suddenly, Rosepaw had a flash of Darkflight, telling her that ever since her mother had joined the clan, ravens had been his favorite bird. He had never killed another raven again.
Rosepaw took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of the bird and the brisk leaf-bare air. On the wind, she caught the faintest breath of her father's scent.
"Darkflight?" she mewed. The raven croaked and she could hear it flap its wings.
"I miss you already. Please, help mother. I fear for her. I will care for Thornpaw, but Ravenwing may be out of my control. Oh, Daddy, I miss you! Why did you have to go?" Rosepaw whispered, heart aching. The raven gave another raspy croak before she heard it fly away in a flurry of feathers.
Rosepaw sighed, settling against the large tree. Once again, that strange feeling of unrest came over her. Rosepaw got to her paws and set a brisk pace through the forest.
Almost an hour later, she found that her paws had lead her to the Thunderpath. Rosepaw blinked, sitting down in a bush of gorse. The stench of monsters and ShadowClan drifted over her, and she waited. For what exactly, she wasn't sure. Then, a rustling on the other side jerked her to reality.
The soft sound of paws crossing the Thunderpath sounded, and Rosepaw slid from the undergrowth silently. She relied on the snow to hide her pelt as she crept closer. The scent of ShadowClan was even stronger, and the cat was a young she-cat.
Rose leaped from the bush she'd been taking cover in, landing right in front of the cat.
"Intruder!" she hissed, baring her teeth in a snarl. The other cat scrambled back, surprise radiating from her.
"Oh, thank StarClan it's you!" Dapplepaw gasped. Rosepaw halted in her tracks.
"Dapplepaw? What in the name of StarClan are you doing here?" Rosepaw whispered, ushering her to a large bush where they could talk in private.
"I came to find you. Darkflight was your father, right?" Dapplepaw wasted no time in explaining. Rosepaw was taken aback by her brusque manner.
"Y-yes. But how did you know he…" she trailed off. Something struck her. Dapplepaw had said was not is.
"Look, I was here last night. I saw what happened. Whatever Featherpaw says, don't trust her. That she-cat is a murderer," Dapplepaw hissed. Here, Rosepaw was completely thrown off her guard.
"What do you mean?"
"Listen closely," Dapplepaw murmured before bending her head near Rosepaw's and whispering a tale of blood and murder. At first, Rosepaw was completely shocked and revolted. But after, a steady fire of fury began to burn deep in the pits of not her stomach, but her heart.
That filthy she-cat would pay.
Thornpaw
Thornpaw rest his head on his cold paws, unable to sleep. Memories of his father flashed through his mind. Darkflight, solid and true, had always been there. He'd loved Thornpaw and his sister dearly, and was unfailingly devoted to Ravenwing. To have him suddenly gone was like…Thornpaw struggled to think of something that came close to the loss he felt. The fact that he would never see Darkflight or hear his voice except in dreams again was…shaky.
Thornpaw sighed, glancing at Featherpaw whose flanks rose and fell steadily in sleep. From the way her paws twitched and the frightened mewls, Thornpaw guessed she wasn't resting peacefully.
Tearing his gaze from her, he looked outside to see that the sun was beginning to set. He'd been in his nest nearly all day.
Standing on shaky paws, he shook his fur out and padded out.
Outside the warrior's den, Snowpelt lay sunning herself, her stomach just beginning to swell with her coming kits, the father of whom still shrouded in mystery.
Thornpaw sat down beside the stump and began to wash, avoiding eye contact and keeping to himself. He didn't want to speak with anyone right then.
Until Rosepaw came shooting in, fur bristling and smelling of the forest. More accurately, the Thunderpath.
"We need to speak. Now," his sister hissed, eyes blazing with urgency. Thornpaw sighed, heaving himself to his still cold paws and following her to a private corner of the camp.
"Thornpaw, I know you're still grieving, but we need to talk about…about Father's death," Rosepaw whispered, closing her eyes as she said father. Thornpaw shook his head, stopping when he remembered she couldn't see him.
"Aren't you grieving still too?" he spat back, unable to believe she was already done mourning. Rosepaw immediately arched her back, eyes now blazing with raw fury.
"How dare you! He was my father too! Of course I still grieve. But something has become more important. It's about how he died, Thornpaw!" Rosepaw hissed, fur bristling angrily. Thornpaw sighed again.
"We don't know how he died, remember? Featherpaw has spoken of it yet," he meowed patiently, readying himself to go eat something and settle down for the night.
Rosepaw spat at him, flashing out a paw and smacking him on the head.
"Get it together, Thornpaw! I'm not a kit, in case you have forgotten! Listen!"
Rosepaw proceeded to tell him about her chance encounter with Dapplepaw and all that the apprentice had told her. When she had finished, Thornpaw sat in stunned silence.
"Featherpaw…" he murmured. An image of the pretty tortoiseshell she-cat flashed through his mind. He couldn't believe she would do this.
"What do we do now?" he asked, more to himself than Rosepaw.
"Bring her to justice," his sister replied grimly. He glanced up at her, alarmed.
He'd never seen his sister so…angry before. Her ears were flat, her teeth were bared and her fur was bristling. Most haunting though, were her eyes. They were a mixture of dark animosity, deep agony, unimaginable pain, and bitterness. Pure bitterness. She looked at him with those twisted eyes, glowing in the deepening light.
"I will end her," she hissed.
For the first time in his life, Thornpaw was petrified with fear at the sight of his sister. She wanted, needed, thirsted, for revenge. And he wasn't sure he could stop her from exacting her justice.
Ooh, go Rosepaw. She's MAD. Featherpaw is in some deep trouble xD Anyway, I'm drinking some Peace Tea, breathing in the smell of these two fabulous candles I have in my room at the moment and i feel...at ease.
Anyway, I have a new idea guys! New story coming soon!
~Ciao, Monkey~