Chapter XXVII: The tournament gathers steam and migraines!

(A/N: I apologize for my bad rapping beforehand. I have no skills in that whatsoever.)

"Wait, wait, wait. You're competing? I might as well throw the entire thing your way! There's no way in hell-"

Josh patted him on the head, nearly buckling his knees. It was obvious that he was recalling older days where he could do this without much trouble. "There, there. Guardians never say the 'I' world. Now, let's get going. Setting up a tournament is hard work, you know." With that, he grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his neck, dragged him to the door, shattered the seal and the said door with a single punch, and walked out, Ki following behind while playing a mocking tune on a flute.

Tsunade was the first to recover. "Well, you have nobody to blame but yourself for that one, Hiashi. I trust you'll get the rules to me soon?"

"Yes…" he said, still dumbfounded at the display. "Yes… I'll be getting the rules and my entrants to you tomorrow."

With another nod, Tsunade stalked out of the mostly wrecked room, taking in a deep breath of the crisp night air. "What madness has Hiashi unleashed this time?"

"Explain to me why I'm throwing this tournament and burning a quarter of my money for again?"

"Shut up and work. Speaking of work, he never does any. Make a chakra clone and call out Uzu again. I swear, Ki comes back with something more insulting, I'm gonna rip him a-"

"LOOSELIPS!"

"That's it. I'm gonna kill him." Josh said simply as he drew his sword. "He's gonna die."

"NYAA NYAA NYAA NYAA NYAAAA NYAAAAA! YOOOU CANNNN'T CATCH MEEEEE!"

Josh tore out of his seat, slashing and cutting at Ki, who simply laughed and ducked out of the way of each blow, rolling his way out the door, which the swordsman ripped off the hinges in a flurry of strikes, bellowing his rage and chasing after him.

The original sighed and returned to the paperwork lined up in front of him. "Why do I even bother with those two?"

A couple of days passed, even with Naruto's kage bunshin helping out, the paperwork proved to be enormous. Of all the paperwork, the ones that required the most attention were the vendors; which had to be contacted, haggled with, had their supplies ordered, and set up in places, the invitations, which had to be sent properly to avoid offending anybody, which could result in a messy war that nobody wanted to deal with, the venue, since the Chunin Exam Stadium was far too small to hold such a large event, as well as the security seal, which was giving Josh a migraine beyond all migraines . Not only did it have to defend against attacks, but it had to identify proper targets so that it didn't vaporize a visiting merchant by accident.

Normally, this wouldn't be needed. When a marriage contract was usually broken off, there was often no fight, as it was consensual. If there was a fight, a backyard or the academy fields would often do. Very rarely would the Chunin Exam Stadium be needed, but had been used several times when an Uchiha had been broken off.

But nothing like this.

The Chunin Stadium was rated at seven thousand people, maybe a little more if people stood to watch. The expected attendance was well over forty thousand, which would mean people could sit on each other's laps and on the ceiling and still be short. That would not sit well with the foreign dignitaries.

So, Naruto's kage bunshin, under Bonnie's remote voice direction, were building a pre-fab stadium to match. They had to bribe Yamato to regrow the forest later, but they had cleared the area and had poured the foundation in the cliff behind the Hokage Monument. While they were doing that, another group, this time supervised by an irate Josh, were setting up a set of high-speed elevators to bring them up there. As the swordsman himself had said, "Just because your world is stuck in the technological dark ages doesn't mean I have to be. Fuck the stairs; I'm installing either a man-cannon or elevators. Your choice. There's no way in hell I'm making that jump every single time I want to go up there."

While this was happening, other teams of kage bunshin, each with solder pills on hand, were delivering the invitations by hand. Kage bunshin tended not to hold together so well while using Hiraishin, falling apart at even a light breeze, and a bunch of floating letters in a Kage's office tended not to deliver the right impression. Besides, it was rude to simply appear inside an office and say that you had letters to the event of the year.

From the grins and the chuckles that Naruto occasionally expressed as he went through more of the paperwork, reactions were starting to come back from the kage bunshin who had dispelled.

From Suna:

"Hmm… It seems as though I have no choice… Kankuro?"

"Yeah?"

"Get Temari, Baki, and a travel entourage together. It seems as though Naruto has gotten himself into something again."

"What did the blond midget do this time?"

Gaara sealed and folded the letter, attaching it to his personal messenger hawk and throwing it out the window. "I'll explain on the way. The tournament is in a week. If the council lets us travel without restriction, even with the entourage, it'll take five days. We need to rest when we get there."

"You still haven't explained to me what trouble Naruto's gotten himself into!"

The Kazekage blinked. "We're going to be fighting in a tournament. Get your puppets and your makeup. We leave in two hours."

"FOR THE LAST TIME! IT'S WAR PAINT!"

"Of course… whatever you say, brother."

From Mizu:

Mei Terumi, the Godaime Mizukage eyed the pack of nervous kage bunshin like a hungry wolf would a nice steak. "So… the Hyuga are breaking off the engagement, and you're going to fight it? Interesting… Chojuro? Summon the Shinobigatana Nananin Shu…"

"Umm, Mizukage-sama? There's only… four… of us still here."

"Oh, poo. That's right. Well, get Ao, and we're off!"

"To where, Mizukage-sama?"

She smiled flirtatiously at the kage bunshin, who started dispelling rather quickly. "To Konoha, of course. I can't miss out on this opportunity… Anyway…" she coughed daintily, blushing slightly. "To Konoha!"

From Iwa:

Onoki glared at the kage bunshin, which glared right back at him. Despite being attacked on the border by several dozen panicked ANBU, the copies had made their way into Iwa after some fancy footwork, look a distraction, and an army of borrowed badgers. Where he had gotten the badgers, Naruto would always decline to say, but rumor has it that they worked in the same agency as Josh's Rabbits.

"So… Minato's son, are you?"

The kage bunshin continued to stare at Onoki intently… almost amusedly.

"I asked you a question!"

"We answer only to our boss. And the log."

The aged shinobi sighed. "Right… right… if I must. I'll come, but if anything goes wrong, I'll have your head on a platter."

One of the kage bunshin snickered and transformed into a head, which the other clones tossed to the Tsuchikage. "Our security deposit. Something's gonna go wrong. Josh and I are both in this tournament." And with that, the sniggering clones dispelled, leaving Onoki alone in his office, jaw dropping when the transformed head winked at him.

From Kumo:

"RAWRG! A TOURNAMENT! WE HAVE NO NEED OF A TOURNAMENT!" He smashed yet another desk while benching it. "ARRG!"

The lone kage bunshin facepalmed and pitied the original for when he got the information, since it would be more migraine than anything else. "First of all, you're a ninja, not a pirate, so stop the screaming. Number two, you don't have to come, I just thought that we-"

"RAWRG! A TOURNAMENT! OF COURSE WE SHALL JOIN! COME, BEE! LET US HEAD TO KONOHA!"

And with that, he tore out the side of his office, leaving a Raikage-sized hole in the wall.

A sigh came from behind the clone, which turned around to see an exasperated secretary. "Excuse Rakage-sama. He didn't take his medicine this morning."

"Yo yo! Dattebayo!"

"Hey, Bee. Long time no see."

Bee staggered into the office, a gourd of sake in one hand, his book of rhymes in the other. "Man! I heard what my brother said, but you've sure grown by a head!"

"You too, Bee. Still rapping away I see."

Bee laughed as he downed some more sake. "Yeah, I've been keeping busy, but right now, I'm sorta dizzy!"

"Maybe if you laid off the sake…"

"Nonsense! What's this about a tournament I hear, for your sake I hope that there's beer!"

The clone shook its head. "Bee, you need to go sober right now. Any more alcohol, and you might start spitting ink at people. Remember what happened last time?"

Bee ignored him and continued drinking. "But hey, I know that if you're going to run it, then it'll be a smash number one hit!"

"Yeah… I'm gonna dispel now… Just send the letter back with a hawk or something. For recordkeeping and tax purposes. You know this is a tax deductible event? I should have more irate fathers breaking off marriage contracts with me…"

And with that statement, it too dispelled, leaving behind a bemused secretary and a blinking Bee, who glanced at the gourd before tossing it out the window and charging after his brother.

A day after all of the messengers had returned their memories to the original, Naruto finished drawing up the contestants from his side. Each side had a set number of entrants that they could declare, and in this tournament, there were quite a few, being the meeting of three major clans, as well as an extremely powerful shinobi.

For the sake of pairing fairly and that no one person got their way to the finals by means of practical byes, both Naruto and Hiashi sent their entrants off to Tsunade, who forwarded them onto an unknown third party, who would make the pairings randomly and would be kept secret until the start of the tournament.

In the meantime, with another team of kage bunshin busy chipping away at the wiring and the plumbing, which would empty out far downstream, thanks to a couple of spare teleportation seals that Josh found tucked away in a locker, Naruto went underground. Literally.

He left a couple of kage bunshin, as well as the newly-reformed Uzu upstairs, saying that "He would only get in the way", and "why don't you go beat down Ki? He's the reason why we're so pissed at you."

Taking extra care to seal the door properly this time, even Josh would have found it difficult to break in without completely shattering the foundations of the village, if he even had time to before the start of the tournament.

However, even with the seals in place, as well as the way that the dojo was built, his screams of frustration, pain, and randomness still managed to float out, assaulting Josh's ears to the point where he had started broadcasting a local noise canceller to sleep at night and Hinata her earplugs as well.

Two days into the intense training, the blue-haired girl had tried to go downstairs to check up on her blond, but was turned away by Uzu and Ki, who had cards out and were playing a game of Egyptian Ratslap. When she had gone to Josh, the swordsman just shook his head.

"I wouldn't go down there if I were you. Yeah, I could probably punch the seal and break it, but it might make this place collapse. He played his cards well this time. SLAP, UZU! SLAP THAT BITCH!" Josh shouted at Uzu, who fell over, asleep again. It was lucky that they were playing with fifteen decks, or this would have ended a LONG time ago.

"Anyway, no. I'm not going to break that seal for you. If can get past those two-" He nodded with his chin. "You might still have the ability to break the seal. But," he sighed. "I'm not going to be held responsible for any injuries you may and probably will suffer. Setting up all this shit is hard enough, even with the kage bunshin. Speaking of which, I had better get going. Setting up the monitors today."

With another shake of his head, he popped the front door, the front gate, stunned half a dozen fangirls, and continued on his way, the entourage of kage bunshin hiraishining to the mostly completed stadium after sending an advance scout to make sure the landing zone was clear.

Let me do this. I can get past these two.

Hinata focused inside her mind, pulling up her mindscape. Her inner self had taught this skill to her almost immediately after the shock after she had discovered the marriage contract. She still wasn't too good at it, so even standing perfectly still, the blue-haired girl still had trouble linking up properly.

A-Are you sure? Those two don't seem like much, but they're still-

Her inner self snorted. Please. I took out one of his Ids without much trouble. I think I can handle two Egos.

W-Well, if y-you're sure…

Of course I am! And quit stuttering!

Hinata closed her eyes and focused for a few seconds before opening her eyes again. To the average person, nothing would have changed, but to a trained eye, or a guardian, she was more relaxed, confident, and dangerous.

To the two sitting in front of the door, who weren't exactly in a combat-ready phase, it was child's play to go up and disable both of them. Uzu was lying with his head facing backwards, and Ki had been chased out of the house, with the doors, windows, and other forms of entry locked firmly after his exit.

Neither was fatal, but bought her enough time to take a crack at the seal.

One of many cracks, as it would seem.

Her first attempt was simply placing her palm on the door and pulsing energy into it, expecting it to disable itself and let her through. When nothing happened, she bit her thumb and rubbed some blood on the seal and palmed it again. It still didn't break.

Getting angry, she coated her hand in chakra and made a cutting motion, which only resulted in her blasting off half of her clothes as it rebounded back at her. Fuming, she picked up her bisected shirt and bra, one hand keeping her modesty as Uzu tried to reset his head the right way. Despite the fact that she was more open then her true self, she still had high standards.

"Problems?"

She flinched and turned around to see a life-sized projection of Josh floating in midair, grinning sagely. "Yeah. Thought so."

She gritted her teeth. "And do you care to tell me what that is?"

Josh took his time polishing his visor. "Not completely sure, but I have my suspicions."

"Tell me."

The swordsman didn't look all that concerned as he reslotted his helmet. "You're brighter than Naruto. Why don't you figure it out? It shouldn't be that difficult. I've got a boatload of kage bunshin to direct."

With that, he faded from view as the projection ended.

'Hinata' kicked Uzu in frustration.

Below, in the Dojo.

"Arrg… I think I finally stabilized it. Man… who knew I was this outta shape."

Naruto twisted his hands, only to have another explosion, which sent him rocketing toward the ceiling. "Nope." He said to himself in a muffled voice. "I didn't get it."

Dropping back to the floor, he formed the necessary seals once more, only to be sent flying before his hands even got close together. "All right, this isn't working. Guess twisting isn't the key. Straight conversions didn't work." He groaned as he pulled himself out of the wall. "Let's try something else…"

"COME ON! PUT YOUR GROIN INTO IT! HERNIA! HERNIA!"

"Then why don't you come over here and help us, instead of sitting over there, drinking margaritas?"

"Cuz I'm real and you're not. Now get back to work before I vaporize the lot of you."

The kage bunshin grumbled, but returned to work. They did not want to incur the ire of their creators unless it was necessary. Getting destroyed by Josh for who was drinking was a great way to piss them off.

The said swordsman finished his drink, crushing the cup he had poured it into. "Right. Time for me to unrust. Bonnie, you got this? Gotta go and get ready."

The AI knew that there was no point in arguing. Her owner had already whipped out his combat knife and was twirling it from hand to hand, whistling as he walked away.

Three more days passed, with the entire village living in constant fear of their houses collapsing in on them. Naruto's tremors had been bad enough, despite the suppression, but Josh was really rocking the applecart. Nobody could even get close to his training grounds without nearly breaking their noses on an invisible barrier, so they couldn't tell. The stench of fried birds which had run into the shield from the inside was proof enough that whatever it was he was doing was nothing pleasant to get on the wrong side of.

At the end of the third day, the seal on the door leading to the dojo faded, and a Naruto who looked the worse for wear staggered his way out, muttering about how twisting should have worked.

Uzu, after much coercion, which consisted mostly of being threatened to be turned into fangirl bait again, fled from the said fangirls to where Josh was training. After knocking twice on the barrier, he turned and hiraishined away, only to run into another crowd, which swarmed him, groping in many uncomfortable places.

Josh, on the other hand, had just risen from his lotus position. Meditation, or his case, a unique fusion of meditation and sleep, did wonders for guardians.

Shaking off his lightheadedness, he prepared to leave by punching a tree, which deactivated the seal around him. "Right. Just have to get back to Naruto now."

He blinked as he was surrounded by fangirls. "Well." He mused as he whipped out his sword, not really in a mood to mess around. "Guess we're going to have to do this the hard way." He traced two fingers along the length of his sword, chanting under his breath. The sword turned a frightening shade of blue…

Naruto winced as he felt the combined shock of Josh launching an attack and Hinata swabbing his wounds with an alcoholic swab. Either one was bad enough by themselves, but when the two combined, it was a recipe for wincing.

"Ano…"

"Don't worry about it. Josh just went off on some fangirls. He should be knocking any second now."

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it. You go and get some rest. The tournament is tomorrow. I'm sure that Josh has some crackpot-"

He didn't get any further, as Josh charged his way into the room, slung a shocked Naruto over one shoulder, and carried him out of the room, saying something about his stasis field and memories.

"What was THAT for? And how did you get in?"

The brunette was already configuring the stasis field. "Leftover blood and a frequency scrambler. Same as last time. Once you figure it out, it's not hard to get in. Now, get in the field. I was hoping to hold off on these, but since I sense trouble-"

"Wait." Naruto interrupted, halfway into the field. "Trouble?"

"Yep." Josh intoned as he pulled out three clear containers. "Detected a couple of bijuu entering the area, as well as a couple of high energy levels. Spent the last twelve hours meditating."

"Wha-"

"Shut up and take your memory." The swordsman growled as he shoved his hand, laden with three memory vials into the back of Naruto's neck.

Ignoring the blond's screams of pain, Josh finally relaxed and pulled out his hip flask. "Ah… nothing quite like screams of pain in the morning."

"Did you have to dump three in at once? That fucking hurt."

"Hey. I'm not the one who lost control and had to have his memory removed. I blame you."

Naruto, who was still rubbing his tender skull, opened the door and walked out, grimacing. It's twelve hours before the tournament and you give me a migraine the size of the fucking US deficit…"

"Well, it's either that, or you'd be stuck in a whole the size of it. What's next?"

The blond tapped his temple one more time, sighing at the relief it provided. "I'm gonna rescue Gaara from the clutches of the local inn. God knows that a huge event brings inflation. Stay here and-"

"-I ain't staying here. I need to go and make sure that your idiot bunshin set up the screens right. Last thing we want is a crossed wire broadcasting porn in the middle of the goddamned tournament…"

"Whatever-"

"N-Naruto-kun?"

The two paused mid-discussion. Josh coughed, made his excuses, and left.

"Hey, Hinata-chan! Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Oh real smooth, Romeo."

Naruto chucked a kunai at Ki, who caught it and attempted to throw it back, but got it caught in the ceiling instead. "Jesus. We need to get you some combat lessons."

"And we need to get you some lessons on how to take a girl to-"

The original dropped to one knee and spun off a half dozen Bullet Rasengan, which his fragment dodged with epic ease. "Just shut up and go away. I'm having a conversation here."

"Sure. A conversation on how to get into her pants to-"

Ki cackled as his boss shot a lance of fire his way and wisely decided to retreat. His boss didn't need to hit him to punish him.

Getting mind crushed was plenty painful.

"… Should I handle Ki?"

"Shut up and go get me a sandwich."

"… You eat sandwiches?"

"You know what?" Naruto sighed. "Just go jump off a cliff or something. Better idea. Go catch Ki."

"D-Did you want something?"

The blond sighed again. "You know, I'm sure it was to say something inspiring or something… but… now I just… don't care."

"I… I'm gonna go now."

"Probably a good idea."

As the unnerved girl turned around, a piece of plastic whizzed by her ear and embedded itself in the wall. Hinata pulled the card out, puzzled.

"VIP entry to the stadium. You'll be able to get into most areas. Just don't go wandering too far off the beaten path. Josh's automated turrets have a reputation of being a little trigger happy…" her crush explained as he walked around the corner… only to get firebombed by Josh as he chased Ki back around the corner, shouting his lungs out.

"GET BACK HERE YOU SONOFABITCH!"

"THIS IS THE BEST GAME SINCE GRIFBALL!"

"OH GOD I'M ON FIRE! WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME?"

Hinata sweatdropped as Josh turned another corner, throwing more Molotov Cocktails at Ki, while Naruto attempted to put the fire out via panicking, spreading the flames all over the wall, almost catching Hinata in the conflagration.

"What did Ki do this time?"

Josh scowled and tore a strip out of the chicken leg he was holding. "Stole my hip flask- don't ask me how he got his hands on it, and topped it off with mouthwash. Said something about me needing to clean my mouth out. Ruined a perfectly good bottle of moonshine."

Naruto shrugged. "Isn't that an improvement? I've never liked moonshine. It tastes like Windex."

"That's because you always bought that rotgut shit from Jabba." The swordsman shot back. "I told you to get Ahcim's, but you always bitched about how much it'd cost. Ahcim's has a very fine taste."

"Like motor oil?"

"Exactly. Like motor oil. Which is what all good moonshine should strive to attain. Ooh. Mushrooms. Thanks, Double-SSS."

Naruto sighed and stared out the window, the pre-dawn glow starting to appear over the horizon, illuminating the giant carved heads and the stadium with an ephemeral glow. "It's almost time."

Josh popped two more biscuits before standing up and stretching. "I'll go on ahead of you. Gotta power up the fusion cores and reroute power to the stadium. Meet me there in, what, half an hour?"

The blond rolled his eyes. "I'll go with you. Make sure that Hiashi hasn't somehow poisoned all of the other entrants. Gaara might be a little pissed if he did."

"Sandman's here? Sweet. Can't wait to fight him."

Naruto snorted. "You'd just turn him into dust in about fifteen seconds. What's the point?"

"It'll keep me amused." And with that, Josh phased out of existence, the door opening and slamming itself in almost the same instant.

"Well, so much for me going with you." The blond grumbled before turning to Hinata. "Erm, not that I mind, but why are you in an apron… Oh… breakfast. Ah… right. Stupid question."

"THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS ONLY STUPID PEOPLE!"

Naruto facepalmed. "Goddamnit Ki, go eat some C12 or something. Uzu, go with him. Both of you blow up."

"… What did I do?"

"Just shut up. Hinata-chan? These two are your escorts to the stadium. They'll show you your seat. If Ki pisses you off, hit Uzu."

"… why me?"

The original shot him a strange look. "Do you really think that she'll be able to hit Ki?" And with that, phased out of existence, this time not disturbing the door."

Temari, who had come along with her brothers as part of the entourage, picked up a strange tri-pronged kunai and gave it a questioning once-over. "Hey, Gaara? Why do you have-"

She didn't get any further as Naruto materialized right on top of her, knocking them both to the ground.

"Hmm? Oh, don't touch that. That's…" Gaara's voice trailed off.

"Problem? Pfft!"

Kankuro poked his head into the room, spitting out his mouthful of tools as he saw the sight that was before him. Naruto, caught up in the slight post-teleportation haze, hadn't managed to recover, mostly because he hadn't expected anyone on the other end. Gaara had let loose his raccoon, which was now being chased around Konoha, so he hadn't considered fangirls to be a threat. Besides, who was suicidal enough to disturb Gaara's sleep?

On second thought, better not answer that question. He thought as his head cleared. Hang on. Since when does the inn have breast-shaped pillo- Ah, fuck.

"Someone is eager to get married, I see." The redhead said coolly, his sand slowly emerging from the gourd on his back.

Naruto blinked and looked down.

Temari, who was still shocked by his sudden appearance, seemed to be getting over the shock. Despite the fact that he wasn't very good at telling a woman's emotions most of the time, the steadily rising heat in her face, his hand on her left breast, and the general straddling position wasn't very good for business. Well, for his end, at any rate.

Before she could castrate him with Gaara's sand, Naruto smartly rolled off her. Unfortunately, his hand couldn't quite dislodge without taking something with it. In this case, it was a chunk of Temari's shirt and most of her bra, leaving her private parts out in the open for all to see.

"Did you have to defile my sister?" Gaara deadpanned, sand still at the ready.

The guardian shook his head as he rolled to avoid a one-handed fan bash, nearly bowling over Kankuro in the process. "It was an accident! I only came here to escort you to the stadium. That, and to check for food poisoning."

"Food poisoning? You mean the Fugu we had last night? We caught that. Just a shot of antivenom and we're good to go." Kankuro stated weakly as he picked himself up.

"We caught that. We were good to go." The kazekage droned. "Our entourage is still in the hospital."

"Wait. Wha-" Naruto said as he was finally conked in the head by the still-raging Temari, poofing into smoke directly afterwards."

"Not going to get me twice with that fan, Temari." Another Naruto said sagely, hanging upside down on the ceiling, nodding all the while.

Just then, a knock came at the door, which then popped open to reveal Shikamaru, who just sighed and averted his eyes. "Temari. Put a shirt on."

"Do you not like what you see?" she demanded, free hand tightening on the fan.

The lazy jonin sighed again and turned around. "As troublesome as it is, I don't. But your brothers might."

"I hate to interrupt this little marriage session, but the tournament starts in an hour, and I've still gotta go pick up Bee and the Mizukage."

Naruto spent the next ten minutes dodging sand, blades, poison, and shadows. Rather difficult in a darkened room.

"Yo, yo! Dattebayo! What up Naruto?"

"RAWRG!"

"Good to see you, Bee, Raikage-san. The original's busy with some sand right now, so I'll be escorting you to the tournament."

"TOURNAMENT! WE HAVE NO NEED-"

"Raikage-sama! Did you take your medicine?"

"RAWRG! NO NEED MEDICINE! NEED HULK SMASH!"

"Bee-sama! Please! Hold your brother down!"

"You must be one crazy lady! Even with the Hachibi, my chances are pretty hazy!"

"I'll do it." Naruto volunteered, taking the hypodermic needle. "Here." He said, making another kage bunshin. "I probably won't survive this, so he'll take you to the stadium. Right. Stand back. Anywhere I should aim for? No? Right. Neck it is."

Faster then most could see, the kage bunshin whipped out a pair of kunai and hurled them at the Raikage. Before the drug-deprived man could react, the clone had bounced a dozen times between them and jammed the needle into his neck, letting loose a stream of medicine.

However, the moment that the syringe was depressed, the shell couldn't take any more abuse, and it poofed into a cloud of smoke, leaving the others befuddled. "Right, Bee? Take your bro and let's go."

"Umm… why do I have the feeling that I should have worn more protective gear?"

Ao sighed, hand covering his stolen Byakugan as he shook his head. "Sorry. Mizukage-sama has been acting rather-"

"Oh Narrruto-kuuun!" a sultry voice came from the back of the room.

"Umm. I don't mean to be rude, but what the hell was that?"

The bodyguard sighed again. "That was Mizukage-sama."

Naruto sweatdropped and took a step backwards. "Yeah… I think I'm gonna just back away. Slowly. If I move slowly, maybe she won't see me."

Ao sighed. "Maybe it's for the best. We'll see you at the tournament."

Naruto kicked Josh in the ass, biting back a swear as he stubbed his toe against the shield.

"Once again, you forgot about the shield. Just because something's invisible doesn't mean it's not there, Naruto."

"Whatever. Are we ready to go?"

The swordsman snorted. "I swear to god, I must have died or something, cuz you're channeling me really heavily right now."

"Meh. Must have been something in the water."

"Oh, that was just the anti-pheromone solution. Kyuubi mentioned something about nearly being torn apart by rabid fangirls." He shrugged, tightening one more wire. "Consider us even from that one time."

"Never mind that." Naruto said, shaking his head to clear it. "Are the monitors ready? There are people at the gates already."

"Just… about… done. Yep. Pulled these from deep storage. 16k HD, with 6x6 cadence rendering. Should be enough to slow down our movements for the average person to see with some eye straining. Thought about doing holographic projections, then I realized there's no way to slow down a live projection without messing with the firmware, and there's no time for a BSOD right now."

"Are they all linked up?"

Josh made two swipes in midair, flashing on all the monitors and revealing a giant pair of boobs. "Yep. Done. Wait a second, wait a second. WHAT THE FUCK!"

The swordsman turned around and kicked the box, denting it, causing the monitors to start broadcasting an image of a giant dick. "Well, shit. Did Ki get loose again?"

Naruto kicked the box as well, leaving a huge dent as well, despite his sandals. "He was supposed to escort Hinata here, so unless Uzu let him out of his sight-"

"Which isn't exactly hard." Josh interrupted, kicking the box again, leaving a third dent, this time warping the image to one of Josh and the word 'Looselips' stamped across his chest. "Knowing Ki, there's probably just a couple more of these."

Naruto sighed and headed to the front gate. Josh would probably be standing there for the next couple of minutes, kicking a rapidly denting control center until he got past all of Ki's bullshit.

"Kage bunshin, take up secondary defensive positions, henge if you need to. Half go on overwatch, half go on active patrol. God, I love being in control."

"Nacht, next time, change your goddamned channel. There's no need to bark the orders into my ear."

"Roger that."

And with that, he undid the thick chains on the gates and let the crowds in.

"Let's get this party started."

Author's Note:

Yo...

Sorry, people. Been gone for a while. Since i'm a senior in HS, work is kinda beating me over the head.

Man, it's been two years. Two very. very. VERY. FUN. years.

Well, with the exception of the flamers. Those sucked.

Anyway, this is the two-year anniversary of Timeless.

If all goes well, i should be done with Timeless at the end of this year.

Yep. It's coming to a close.

As the proverb says, "All good things must come to an end."

But don't worry. You'll still have the prequels to console you.

And did I mention a Part II as well?

Just saying.

To those who have followed me since the beginning, i thank you. To those just discovering this, welcome. To those who have been with me since about Chapter XVI, well. Let's get something started.

Till next time.

Xingster

P.S. Pay attention to the prequels if you like them. Got a treat for you guys. Maybe in a couple of days?

Ja ne, all.