I'm staring at the city, the lights merging together to form a rainbow reflection. What deception. How could a place that was so beautiful be so evil? It's always been evil, but that fact was clouded and obscured by its beauty. And I guess that's where the saying 'don't judge a book by its cover' comes into play. The Capitol seems so much more sinister once you realize what's hidden underneath the blanket of parties and rich fabric.

I get sick of looking at them, they disgust me, with their feasts and their surgeries, was this beauty to them? What happened to us? Our ancestors left us with nothing to work with; they left us with flames left to be extinguished in the most horrible manner. They left us striving to survive, barely hanging on, but when we almost let go, someone grabbed our hands to pull us back up, only to tread on us once we get back to our feet. The Capitol doesn't care about us, the Districts are merely there to supply them with their needs, it was something that they were overwhelmed with, what we supplied them with went to waste, to the garbage and left there to rot. We were the bad apples of the tree, left to be eaten by hungry predators, to be scavenged on once they needed something, and what they needed was entertainment. How sickening they seem to us.

The way that they steal away our lives and put us up for slaughter, they're the weak ones, they don't know the meaning of loss, or pain. When put into unbearable situations, who can bet that they'll prevail? I just wish that one day they can feel the pain that they've caused us, and when they do, I'll be sure to be in the front row.

My heart tightens with despair as my mind flutters back to my conversation with President Snow. I have to be cautious about my actions and what I say to my tributes, the Capitol isn't happy about the 'message' that they projected, and I want to keep my family, Haymitch, the Hawthorne's and Peeta safe. So why is there this burning urge inside of me to defy them?

I'm curled up on my bed with tears rolling down my cheeks as I think of home, I miss Prim. I miss Gale. I miss the woods. I miss my life. Because ever since the moment that my name was picked from that reaping bowl, I knew that my life was over, whether I die or win, it was over. This was what was meant to happen, I was never meant for a peaceful life, because I am Katniss Everdeen, and I will always be plunged into the horrors of my actions.

A knock interrupts my thoughts and I scramble to get rid of my tears and puffy cheeks.

A head of blonde hair peeks through an open space in my door, "Katniss?"

"Peeta, what do you want?"

"Nothing, but Haymitch was wondering why you weren't at breakfast toda- ," he stops abruptly and cocks his head to the side, "hey are you okay?"

Suddenly my attention is fully on him, I guess my attempts to make myself presentable sort of failed, "Huh? No, I-uh-um, I'm alright."

Peeta begins to chuckle to himself quietly while he begins to sit beside me, "You know you aren't a very good liar right?"

I can't help but feel a little angry and relief at the same time, I was relieved because I saw that he actually cared, while the other half of me believed that he was mocking me, so I just stared at him.

He smiles at me, I can't help but gaze into his bright blue eyes and admire him by how he could still find happiness in what was probably the lowest points of his life. I remember that when I was in the Games, I didn't crack a smile at all, in fact my angle was uninterested in the interviews. The only thing that put me on the radar was when I got an eleven.

I didn't realize we spent the rest of our time together staring at each other until Haymitch's voice rattles the silent air, "Peeta! Where are you boy? Training! Effie's going nuts!"

He bursts into my room, probably checking to see if he found me or not, well he obviously did, but we were too busy staring at each other.

"Oh! Oh sorry! I can see that I'm disturbing something, but I'm deeply sorry to inform you two that Peeta has to go to training. Are you alright with this Katniss? Sorry for stealing your boy," Haymitch snickers.

I glare at him, not for disturbing us because nothing was really going on but for making sarcastic comments, his voice was oozing with sarcasm.

"Haha well looks like I need to go, sorry Haymitch, I just got a little...preoccupied," Peeta laughs quietly, "see you later Katniss."

I look down and I can feel my cheeks go red, "See you Peeta."

He smiles brightly at me and walks out the door, leaving Haymitch and I left alone in my room.

Haymitch suddenly breaks out into laughter, "Keep your attraction to yourself sweetheart! The sexual tension was overwhelming!"

And my cheeks begin to increase in temperature, "Shut up Haymitch! Nothing happened!"

"Oh yeah, and if I hadn't walked in I'm sure that nothing would have happened. So I'm sure that you didn't realize how close you two were right?"

I choke up a small laugh and shake my head at him, "I believe I don't."

"Well let me give you a hint, very."

"Ha-ha. Anyway, I actually needed to talk to you about something."

Haymitch groans and sits beside me, "Look, I'm not exactly the best person to ask for relationship advice."

"No, nothing like that. But after I went back to my room last night, I saw a rose lying on my bed and I was summoned to Snow's office."

Haymitch sucks in air through his teeth and presses his eyes together, "Continue."

I gulp in a huge breath of air, "Well, he just told me that Peeta and Vailea gave some hope for having two victors if they were from the same district this year. And he said that he wasn't happy that they were presented the way that they were, he said that he saw it as an act of rebellion, he thought that they were telling the Capitol that they were in control of their fate. He's not happy about District Twelve working the crowd, because they were always meant to be the underdogs. I guess that he's just being a little protective of the system. But I don't really see it as an act of defiance."

"I can see where he's coming from, but it certainly wasn't. I assume that he threatened you to be careful of what you say or do, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"Well then why wasn't I summoned or threatened as well?"

"Because he heard us on the train, he heard about the bread. And he knows that I want to get him home. You have nothing to lose Haymitch, I do."

"We can't back down Katniss, you can't give him that satisfaction, we're going to bring him home whether he wants the boy dead or not."

I was midway into eating my late breakfast when Finnick and Johanna made a grand entrance in the dining room.

"I…have arrived!" Finnick strikes a pose against the door and winks while Johanna looks at him in horror.

"Ehem, we have arrived. Anyway, hello brainless, how are you?" Johanna snarls.

I laugh quietly, "Well, I've been better."

"Haven't we all?" Finnick takes a seat beside me.

"Yeah, um, I need to ask you two about something. But I can't do it here."

Johanna plucks up one eyebrow in confusion and gestures me to continue. I mouth to them, 'the roof.'

The roof is the only place where I actually feel like myself in the Training Center, it provides me with a sanctuary that seems to be long lost. It seems to be the same for Finnick and Johanna. I take in the glittering lights that shimmer in the morning light and all I feel is hatred.

"Have you two ever been threatened?" I ask them.

They both look at me simultaneously and Finnick begins to speak, "They sell me, I didn't agree at first, but President Snow said they'd kill my family, they said they'd kill Annie, and I couldn't lose them," his eyes begin to fill with tears. The only time Finnick would break was when he'd talk about the Capitol breaking Annie and his family.

"But, one time, I said no to a customer, because Annie was getting suspicious, and he killed them, he killed my family, and Annie got reaped. I never said no to anyone after that, I got her back, but she wasn't the same, they almost took her away from me once, I knew for sure that I wouldn't let them do it again," he continues as tears fall.

Johanna pats him on the back and looks down, "When I won, they wanted to sell me as well, everyone wanted a taste of the fierce victor, they wanted to see how fierce she was in bed. But I refused. And they were humiliated because of my victory. So they killed my family. Every last one of them. I have no one left, they have no one left to threaten me with. I didn't let them make me more of a monster than they already made me, and my family paid the price. They ruined me, I have no one left that I love."

I can't help but feel closer to Johanna after her confession. I knew about Finnick's story, but not hers. She had always been so guarded, even after I became somewhat of a friend to her, and now I know why. She didn't want to let anyone in because of the fear that they would get hurt because of her.

"I'm so sorry, I know that it's not enough to cure the pain that you've suffered, but I am really sorry."

Us three cry silently together on the roof, overlooking the hell that houses the devil. The place which caused us the suffering that we endured.

After what seemed like hours, Finnick speaks up, "Why are you asking us this?"

"Because I've been threatened myself."

Johanna joins in, "Why now though? You won two years ago? Why does it matter now?"

"It matters because of Peeta."

"Your male tribute?"

"Yes and no. Both of my tributes. President Snow isn't happy with me, I showed him up, I showed all of Panem up. Well, District Twelve did anyway. He's worried about the 'rebellious' act. He said that he'll always keep an eye on me, more so than he already has. I'm scared for my family, I'm scared for everyone that I love."

Both of them proceed to tell me exactly what Haymitch did; they said that I shouldn't give President Snow the satisfaction of seeing me scared, because that is the thing that he'll use against me.

After Finnick and Johanna leave I stay on the roof, consumed in my thoughts about everything. But I find myself constantly thinking about dandelions, burnt bread, hope and a pair of deep and alluring blue eyes. And I begin to think over life before the Games, my dreams and how they've changed. I that I had a recurring dream about a field of dandelions and a head of blonde hair belonging to a young boy with a bruise on his face dancing in the field. It was a dream that plagued me almost every night, along with flashbacks of my first encounter with the boy who saved my life four years ago. It seems as though I've suppressed these dreams in my memory, because I never recalled having them until now. It was almost like I was in denial. Then something clicked.

I never stopped thinking about the boy with the bread.