Hi again everyone! I know that ppl have been waiting patiently for another chapter so here it is.
Important**** Much like in a earlier chapter this chapter has a break where you really should listen to songs. I only highlighted one spot with a (**) and that's where you should listen to the complete orchestral piece ( Roslin and Adama by Bear McCreary) trust me its a Klaine love song in the making!
Love you all for reading this...here goes. ( 12, 000 + words!) so excuse the editing :S
ROB IS MINEZ - Here you go babe, I know it's not exact but its my own little twist xoxo Love ya
Hope you like/love or both this chapter...disclaimer free! Ha! I am such a rebel ;)
Bittersweet Symphony
Piano men, and Heartstrings
(BPOV)
"Alright from the top Coop, and try not to leave anything out." I handed him his coffee and made sure my aid was securely in my ear as I gave him my full attention. Cooper seemed to shake his head at me in what I could only presume was disbelief. Whether it was disbelief in my new hearing ability or the fact that I must have looked more grown up to him or something sitting there on my sofa, legs crossed in a mature way looking at him sternly but calmly. I was never the calm one of the two of us. I was the emotional one, the one whom had always been hurt, but now it looked a little like the roles were reversed and I had to know why.
There were moments like this when Cooper mimicked my sitting position, mirrored my movements that reminded me of the boy I had grown up idolizing. We blew on our hot coffee at the same time and then tentatively took a sip when I decided to to egg him on, Cooper was great for avoiding something that was bothering him, and even better at acting like everything was fine, and Cooper was far from fine.
"Coop, talk."
He sighed and put his drink down on the small table to his left, shaking his head again before settling his shocking blue eyes back on me.
"Blaine, I still can't believe you can hear me...I mean explain that first please or I may not be able to concentrate on anything else, I mean I'm still not used to not fumbling with my hands trying to learn sign with you and now you're sitting there like you did when we were kids, completely focused, and hearing...just how?"
"Fine, I'll just give you the Reader's Digest version for now okay?"
Cooper seemed entranced when I told him the story of recent events, but I left out Kurt for the moment because I wanted Cooper's focus. He did have a level of romanticism about him that would take off on its own accord if I didn't reign it in for him. I told him that I had hit a point in my life where I started really caring again, and I wanted to try everything medically possible to fix my condition and start reliving my life, not just existing in it.
I gave him the synopsis of the treatment, the panic attack but subsequent silver lining that came from the event which allowed me to hear a bit better. With the added help of the aid I could hear pretty well out of the one ear and that was where I left it.
I wasn't going to get into the bullshit with our parents just yet, or the stuff with the money or granddad, I needed to hear from him first because I had needed him these last few weeks and he wasn't there.
A small part of me cringed at the irony of it all, because I loved Coop, and he was the greatest brother in the history of brothers, but he was also selfish, self proclaimed sometimes actually, so he really was an oxymoron.
Our childhoods had been fabulous, the music, Cooper coming to my aid with anything I needed but he also didn't let up the chance to be the big brother and torture me on occasion even if it was inadvertent. Teasing me about my height, always pushing me to be my best but not always achieving in raising my spirits...ya know just usual big brother crap.
After what happened with the Sadie Hawkins 'accident' and our father, Cooper had stood up for me, talked dad into letting me go to Dalton, and even talked dad into letting me continue my music. After he graduated from high school and moved to New York himself for the beginning of his schooling Cooper and I broke apart, I guess that was expected when your sibling moves away but slowly, ever so slowly he distanced himself and made less effort in helping me out, or even returning my messages. He apparently had gotten caught up in his 'new life' in New York
Now I originally chopped this up to Cooper letting me spread my own wings, letting me fall or fly on my own because if not I would never learn, unfortunately it also meant that Cooper turned a blind eye to what was really happening emotionally with me at home. As happy as I was to not have to see our family all the time I was still suffering from the abandonment of it all, and he was there.
He came home on occasion, when I asked him to, because I never wanted to be around my parents without him, and even as our family completely drifted apart while I was boarding at Dalton, Coop and I stopped talking a lot of the time. It started to seem like Cooper was done 'raising me' so he could back off and focus on himself.
He did love himself, sometimes a little too much, but I guess I couldn't blame him. He was the better looking of the Anderson brothers, everyone thought so, and he was the one who got critical acclaim in television when he was in his early twenties when I was a senior in high school. It was a stupid commercial but everyone loved him, his voice, and ya...I was jealous at the time. He always knew he would go into law but he loved to dabble in everything, and acting was one of his many passions.
He had that small amount of fame after said commercial that gave him his 20 minutes of glory, and he kind of rode those coat tails for a long time, veritably stroking his own ego contsantly. It made him sometimes self absorbed, but it also resulted in him being 'too busy' for his little brother most of the time.
Once he had rejection after rejection though, he met Stephanie, his fiancee, and she set him straight as it were. He gave up on being a socialite and promising actor and focused back on working to pass the Bar.
Even though I loved Steph, and she of course had tried her best to help Coop and I rekindle our relationship, time had settled in our bond. Even when he came home to help me when I was suddenly deaf it was weird. I was closed off and he was still slightly cocky. I loved spending time with him, he was still my best friend but something was still off with our relationship, like the kids that we used to be didn't resemble the adults we were now.
Time and events seemed to have broken us, and I was wondering so much if him being broken here in my living room, had anything to do with Coop really wanting to fix us, or if he was just here for another visit before disappearing on me again.
Yes , I Blaine Anderson, had abandonment issues, but could you really blame me?
"So yeah Coop, I can hear, well better at any rate, so now that you know that can you tell me why you're suddenly here? I mean I missed you but you haven't exactly been...available."
Cooper looked out the window, seemingly watching the night sky but not really hearing much of what I just asked him.
"You know I never sold the apartment I had here, I just sublet it normally, but now it's vacant. Might be nice to move back here for a bit ya know? Rekindle the passion from the Big Apple?"
Coop and his random blatherings, this wasn't a soliloquy Coop, spit it out, I'm calling you on your shit.
"Spill, all details Cooper, come on what the hell is going on?"
The icy blue eyes finally settled on mine and a small grim expression graced his features.
"Remember when we were kids and you said you were proud of me when I wanted to go into environmental law? You looked at me all star eyed and said that you would be proud of me for doing it?"
"Yeah?"
"Well when we were younger I strayed being a lawyer for a while to follow my other passion, which you well know. I wanted at act, but I was set straight by well...conformity, what the world and our father and Steph expected from me ya know? I also never wanted to disappoint you. I remembered that day in the common room at Dalton your first week, and my senior year, where I told you about me applying to Columbia and about my want to make a difference in the world of law.I may not have always told you little bro but I wanted you to be proud of me, I was always proud of you."
The sentiment broke my anger a little, I hadn't heard Cooper talk this emotionally when he was speaking in so many years, and it was nice glimpse of the man I used to know.
"Well when I moved to Van, and finally passed the Bar, I was hired at the firm I now work at, and as you know they were widely respected in environmental law, and I was being paid handsomely as I rose the ranks really quickly. Six or so months ago Steph put the idea into my head that we should buy a house and actually start thinking about settling down since I had proposed. I had a great job that paid me well, she was now a sought after ballet instructor at a small studio downtown and we had a comfortable life Blaine, so she mentioned we should settle."
Cooper just huffed out a breath of air and pushed aside his brown wavy hair that I could actually see had a few greys peaking through now before he continued.
"That word Blaine...settle. It was the one word that I feared more than anything. I had always told you to spread you wings and fly but I suddenly knew that I felt like my wings had been clipped...so I kind of...umm...well took a leave of absence from my job to research a few acting gigs."
My eyes bugged out as I checked my aid, as if that would make me un-hear what I had just heard.
"You're shitting me."
"Ha ha no. I guess when daddy dearest saw the commercial for the travel agency I just did, he must have lost it. He called me out of the blue and screamed at me for ruining what I had at at Brockwell and Domingues. I guess that explain why he decided to cut ties with his son, he always did have a short fuse but I guess that's why he cut me off."
Huh...Copper really didn't know what was going on did he?
"He cut ties with both of us Coop. They both did."
"What? All I got in the mail a few days after the phone call with father fuckwad was a cease and desist order and a copy of the paperwork from the lawyers for me to sign. I also got an email from the bank on my new email account about my trust fund but I have yet to deal with it. I've had a lot going on, even before all this Anderson family crap."
Coop buried his face in his hands and it was one of the first times, especially tonight, where I let my regret fall and truly seemed shocked at the sadness exuding from my brother.
"Coop, man I...are you okay?"
Cooper choked out a sob,a quiet one, and it was the first time I had remember seeing my brother openly cry and not fake it as an emotional exercise or saying it was just an 'emotional moment', he truly looked broken.
"She left me B, she just left."
"Steph...she...what happened?"
"She was none too thrilled about me taking time off work to pursue acting. S-she said that even thought the TV industry was booming in Vancouver, there were many other leading men that had way more under their belt, and would crush me in spirit. She tried to convince me that what I was doing with my life was right for me. She tried to back me into a corner when I tried to convince her that I had been living a lie B. I love acing, performing, it's what I've always loved. We had been fighting, even when I landed the small commercial, and most of the arguments surrounded 'our' future, and how being a non stable force could wreck what we had. She also hinted at the lack of money which would hinder any prospects we had at moving forward with our relationship, ironically after she left, father cut me off which would have made her point stronger. Blaine, you and I both know that money helps but shit...she was going to be my wife! I gave up chasing every tail I could when I found her..."
My brother had always been a bit of a Casa Nova...mostly because he knew he had game, hell I knew he had game.
"..and then I came home from a theatre audition which went horridly and I found that she had left. She had moved back in with her sister and that we were through! I mean fuck B, I followed my heart and she couldn't even let me be the man I wanted, even though this was the first time I had been truly happy in a long while."
Coop sighed and continued, wiping is eyes and I wanted nothing more than to hug him but I still hadn't gotten the whole story so I waited patiently, watching with apathy as he collected himself.
"I got a new phone a few months ago, the old one was a work phone and I didn't transfer my numbers over to this new one. You changed your email and didn't tell me, and once I quit my job outright I just settled into a lull these past few months, living off dividends. I couldn't look at anything in the apartment and not think of Steph, I needed to get away and start again. I wanted nothing more than to try acting and when I found out I had a trust fund that was coming to me, I sold the apartment in Vancouver and returned here. I've been here a week and I was trying to figure out a way of telling you, of seeing you. I wish so hard that I could have been there for you, but I couldn't get a hold of you, I didn't have your number or anything. So...I just moved back here, with whatever belongings I could ship, and returned to the apartment which was thankfully vacant that I left here...and came to find you when I was courageous enough to face you.
I hate that I wasn't there for you with the shit with our parents, I didn't even know they were fucking with your life too! Bro I would have been there at your beside if I knew you were in the hospital...I'm sorry B, I'm so sorry that I wasn't around. Can we try to be brother's again? Can you except an unemployed, over-educated actor/brother who's forgotten that his little brother should have been more important? I'm not sure if I can take any more rejection.." I quirked my eyebrow.
"Then searching for acting jobs in New York is not for you then bro, acting rejection is like winter here. It slaps you in the face and it's a guarantee at some point during the year."
My attempt at humour seemed to work and Cooper laughed, the frown creased on his face evened out and he smiled at me through watery eyes.
"Ha thanks B, I needed that. And you're right, rejection will happen for sure but I can't let myself be someone I'm not. I've had some small successes and I know that I will regret everything in my life if I don't at least try."
I finished my coffee and nodded with him, "I know all about regret Coop, it took me a long time to realize that I was living one large one... I got woken up, and I found a muse in life again. I'm taking my life by the horns and not regretting a single thing anymore. So yeah...I'd regret not forgiving you Coop...so we're fine."
He started bouncing even before I finished what I was saying and before I knew I had an armful of Cooper. It was hug that only Cooper and I could share, it was the feel of true family, and we held each other for just a second longer when we both realized that we were each others only family now.
"Thank you B."
"Thanks for coming here and telling me all this Coop. And besides I did like Steph but if she can't see what an amazing talent my brother is...then screw her!"
Cooper was a talented performer, his voice was amazing and as much as his ego pissed me off in my youth, the compliment rolled off my brother's back shyly and it was the first instance where I noticed a true change in my brother's pride.
He had been humbled, and I knew we would be okay.
"Thanks again B, for understanding. I'm so glad I'm here, and that you're doing better. When I came to the school and talked to Barb..."
Barb, I should have known.
"..she told me where you were. She said that you were doing so much better since your hospital stay and when I whited out at the comment she filled me in a little. I was so worried about you bro, I pretty much ran to the auditorium to find you, and then I heard you playing our song and...well I knew I made the right decision in my heart to find you. I don't know how I managed to stay away. You're were always the strong one B.."
"I wasn't always strong Coop, Kurt help me with that, more than I could even imagine."
And just like that Cooper's face changed. I hadn't really noticed that I hadn't recounted my brother about the amazing man that I was falling more and more in love with each day. He knew nothing of my life recently and the childlike giddiness that his soft features were displaying told me that he was more than intent to listen.
"Whoooo's Kurt? Someone special?"
"Very special."
"Tell me, tell me, tell me Squirt." Ah, the old nickname was back and since it was complimented by the happy look of excitement on his face, I wasn't about to chastise him for using a nickname that I loathed.
I told him, well not every sordid detail, but basically everything from the first meeting, the bar, the epic first date I planned which I received a fist bump for, and about the bittersweet thanksgiving to Ohio.
He laughed and engaged in the whole tale of Kurt, teasing me lightly that I was so lovesick it was gross, but laughed the whole time seemingly happy for me.
I felt my phone buzz and I excused myself for a second to read it.
Brit and I just finished cleaning and organizing the place for this weekend, she is surprisingly organized for someone who still believes in Santa lol :). Hope your night was good baby, I miss you. Dad and Carol will be here on Thursday but are staying at Finn's until after the concert on Saturday, maybe Sunday. Then I have them for the rest of their visit. You still coming for Friday dinner at Rachel and Finn's. Love you xoxox - K
What there's no Santa?...Kurt Hummel you wound me! Lol xx Night was good but interesting, have a bit of a surprise for you my love. Of course I'm still coming on Friday :) What would you say if I brought someone with me though? xoxo love you too - B
I looked up ay my brother who was watching me text with uncanny interest.
"Little lover boy?"
"Coop he's far from little..."
"Eww no, too much brother info...scarred beyond repair." He leaned his head back on the couch and laughed dramatically, which I joined in on.
"So...what are you doing Friday night Coop?"
XXXX
(KPOV)
"Thanks for all the help Kurt. There's a lot of pressure cooking one of the famous Hummel Friday night dinners and I was terrified that I would screw it up of something."
Ah Rachel. Always the drama queen.
"You did great Rach, besides did I ever tell you about the first time my dad tried to cook a Friday night dinner after my mom died? The chicken was raw on the inside, we had a huge laugh over it even if we weren't at the stage where we were supposed to be laughing yet. So you can only do better than that! Ha ha but trust me, the dinner will be fabulous...of course because I helped."
Rachel nudged me as I checked on the rice, and it was nice distraction, the loving bantering between the two of us, because I was unbelievably nervous. My dad, Carol and Finn were in the living room talking shop, and not the normal shop talk they used to have but about Finn's store, and the crazy insanity that was the Christmas rush in anything retail. Finn's odd choice to open a music store had apparently stemmed from a conversation I had with him in high school, when I told him that he was the enigma that was very much not mainstream. The jock with an ear for music.
He had apparently taken this advice to heart once he finished up some courses in college, and pursued helping people and their love for music. He had told me that it was one the best things about his youth, embracing music and even though he figured he's never be a Broadway star like his wife, he wanted music to be in this future, and with my dad's help he taught him how to run a small business.
As the conversation flowed out in the living room, I silently cooked along side my sister-in-law and best friend and fretted internally about meeting Cooper. Blaine had told me what had gone on between the two of them in the last little while and now that he knew about me as well, Blaine invited him over for dinner to meet the rest of the family.
It was weird because it was basically the entirety of our families meeting for the first time, and I wanted to make a good impression.
When the doorbell rang a few minutes later, Rachel called out to Finn, " Kurt will get it!"
I leered at Rach before she rolled her eyes and shooed me towards the door, as I cleaned off my hands and straightened the invisible wrinkles in my shirt before opening the door.
Blaine was always a sight for sore eyes, and tonight he did not disappoint in his casual style and uniqueness. Clad in a set of dark grey trousers, a white button up and a dark blue argyle sweater vest over top which hugged his gorgeous chest perfectly. He had forgone the usual bow tie and I somehow seemed to miss it. It was like a constant with him, much like his breathtaking smile or gorgeously exaggerated eyelashes...they were just so him.
Now the man next to him was undoubtedly Cooper, and was definitely related to him but his eyes were a bright blue close to my own and he was good couple inches taller than me which made Blaine look even smaller.
He was handsome, no doubt, but he lack the smoothed beauty that I loved about Blaine. He was wearing a pair of designer jeans (nicely cut for him too), a dark grey shirt and a black blazer. Classic but he obviously didn't have Blaine's quirkiness.
"Hi."
Blaine moved towards me and kissed me softly but there was a hint of possessiveness that had my toes curl when I opened my eyes.
"Hey beautiful, are we late? This guy takes longer on his hair than I do."
"Oi squirt, not cool. Hi I'm Cooper, Blaine's told me all about you."
I closed the door once they had entered and shook Cooper's hand. I had to say there was something unbelievably charismatic about the Anderson brothers that I couldn't place until I heard Blaine small grunt.
"Guh enough with charming my boyfriend Coop. He's off limits."
Cooper laughed but I pulled my hand back not realizing I still hadn't let go of his either.
"Oh I know, I'm just being friendly Blainers. It's a pleasure to meet you Kurt, and thank you for letting me come tonight."
Blaine rolled his eyes again, and I chuckled at the family dynamic between the two brothers. I ushered them both in, Carol immediately coming over and hugging Blaine again like it was second nature and this time I could tell Blaine hugged her back instantly. Dad and Blaine had the same greeting, a small hug that was laced with a few hand signs that I couldn't place. Even though dad knew about Blaine's better hearing, they somehow had a secret language and comfort that I wasn't going to try and break.
Finn was genuinely happy to see Blaine, since this was basically the first time my brother had seen him since the hospital and it was funny watching David and Goliath talking on friendly terms without my dad as an interpreter for once.
Cooper was the perfect gentleman the whole evening. He teased Blaine lightly, he flirted with Rach and Carol politely and even complimented me for making his brother so happy.
All in all it was lovely evening and it only got a little tense when my dad shot his mouth off about the Andersons.
"So, Cooper, Kurt said you lived in Vancouver, you just here for the holiday kid?" I basically face palmed myself and my father simultaneously. Me for not forewarning my father about the problems Blaine had told me a lot with Cooper and his now ex, but also for my father for not having a filter about what he asks.
"Um...I've recently moved back to New York Mr. Hummel...for personal reasons. Also above all else I wanted to be here to be closer to Blaine, I have a lot of catching up to do with this little guy."
Cooper ruffled Blaine's ungelled mop and just like that the mood was lifted. Blaine had this ability too, to make everyone around them forget a tense situation with a mere comment or smile.
My dad got the picture right away and after living with my unhappy past he was very good at dropping a subject when it was presented to him like this.
The night progressed and Cooper offered to help clean up after everything so I went in to give him a hand, shooing Blaine out of the way saying that it would be nice to talk one on one with his brother. Coop and I washed and dried and put away the remaining food in silence for a bit, the only noise coming from the living room where something Christmas related was being watched by the rest of the group.
"So...are you gonna give me the boyfriend speech Kurt?"
I didn't look at him but merely smiled.
"Would that even be necessary Cooper?"
"Hmm maybe it depends on what you have to say, I know you wanted to talk to me, hence kicking Squirt's ass of out the kitchen so we could talk."
"How about I just say that I'm glad you're here Cooper. He's missed you. He barely talked about you except when he talked with reverence about his big brother who helped him as a kid. He hasn't said much about your relationship lately but don't think I missed the hurt expressions that played on is face recently. He needed you and I'm glad you've fixed your shit but if you ever leave him alone again without another word...if you abandon your only brother...I can find some very creative ways of making sure my old clothing trunk and you have a visit with the Hudson."
I turned to face him now as a smile that was slightly scared expression graced his face.
"I've been told there are some other creative ways to hide bodies but I'm a purist for drama you see."
Cooper laughed for a second with me but then looked back at me with just as much intensity as I was giving him.
"You have my word Kurt, on two conditions."
I gave him a look that was practiced diva to the core and nodded, I could see the performer in him realize that this was no act, and he returned it with a sad smile.
"Always tell me when Blaine needs me, even if he doesn't tell you he's hurting and you want some help. Let me be there for him even when he tries to shut himself out."
I knew Blaine did that, he was one for bottling and it was a trait I knew all to well.
"Okay I will, and the other condition?"
"Well, you gave me the speech, I will do the same. I'm happy he's found you Kurt, and I know you love him and vice versa but if you hurt him I will also be forced to be...creative."
We shook hands quickly, sealing our 'deal', before Cooper hugged me unexpectedly.
"Promise me you'll love him like he deserves?"
As I whispered my promise to do so Blaine took that as he cue to walk into the kitchen and see us in a warm embrace.
"Oh god not you too Kurt, he's really not that charming once you get to know him."
I whipped around to see Blaine looking at me dejected mildly but he soon smiled when he heard Cooper and I laughing lightly. I leaned over and kissed him, hard, not caring that Cooper was watching before I pulled back with a light smack and shyly bowed my head.
"That answer your silent question as to which Anderson I like better?"
"Okay that's my cue to leave." Cooper stuttered out as Rach called out from the living room.
"Andersons and Hummel! Movie time, get your butts in here or you lose you spaces on the couches!"
"Coming!" We all yelled in unison which made us laugh again.
The rest of the night passed without much other incident. I cuddled with Blaine on the couch, loving the domesticity of it all as our families mingled and talked throughout White Christmas. It was the only seasonal movie we all agreed on, and somehow during the movie Rachel and Cooper bonded over acting and theatre. Cooper told her about his plan on hunting out auditions in the city and when given the opportunity to gloat Rachel Hudson-Berry couldn't be contained.
She talked about her recent successes on off-Broadway and that her agent was one of the best in New York, so she said she would talk to him about setting up an interview with Copper if he wanted, and Cooper beamed at her.
The Andersons were slowly inter-grading into our family one small step at a time. I kissed Blaine's temple as he munched on popcorn while he hummed along with the `Blessings` number, and I counted myself pretty lucky this Christmas, and I couldn't wait to give Blaine his presents.
XXXX
(BPOV)
"Fuck I'm nervous Barb! I'm not even playing and I'm a wreck! Calm me down please.."
"Relax Blainey, deep breaths or something. You want me to go get Kurt? Or Cooper?"
It was recital night and I had gone ahead without Kurt or his family, but with Coop. He knew about the works that I had written, hell he knew one of them by heart, and he said he would accompany me to the recital early so I would have moral support while I freaked out.
I hadn't freaked out for the most part, but now that I was about to go and introduce Damian and then introduce my own music...I was terrified.
"I'm good, I'm fine...wow okay. Damian first then intro into my pieces right?"
"That's right sweetie, you okay? Want me to introduce Damian while you calm yourself down?" Normally I wouldn't have accepted the offer because I was a professional, but at this time I was sure I was going to be sick.
This was one of my Christmas presents to Kurt, and the suspense of if he would like it was killing me. I had entitled his movement, "Seraphic Concerto 1". It was the only title for a movement that explained so much love for the angel that the world had given me in the form of Kurt Hummel. His unbridled passion for things made my heart and creativity soar, and he had to know that tonight the music I played was me bearing my soul, the final piece of myself to him, and that he had inspired it. The other was a concerto that I hoped he would know as something close to my heart that I wanted to share with him...and I guess this was why I was freaking out.
Not only did I want him to be proud of my music and like the small gift the kids would play for him, but I wanted him to know that I would never now nor at anytime keep any part of myself from him. This was my love letter to Kurt, signed by the heart and for him alone.
As Damian performed La fleur que tu m'avais jetée, favouring his lower tenor register at Barb's insistence, I could finally hear what a beautiful instrument that boy really had. There was a humbleness as he sang, acting out his love for Carmen before the crowd and for once I actually believed a performance from that boy. Damian was finally learning something from Barb, and a small smile that was pressed against Barb's face told me that she was finally proud of the leaps and bounds he had taken to strive for his perfection.
When the thunderous applause signalled Damian was done I walked out onto the stage myself and shook his hand.
"Well done Damian." I whispered.
"Thank you...sir." Damian bowed again to the crowd leaving me with the microphone in hand as I saw Zac get on stage behind me and take his seat at the piano, and the rest of the string orchestra take there place. This was my big moment...our big moment.
(KPOV)
Rachel was in tears beside me, as was Carol in the seat next to her. As I sat on the aisle seat, I looked at not the same man that I had seen perform so few months ago, but I saw a seasoned performer, and adult. Damian Warrener was not the cocky little showman that I watched in silent audition, but someone who started to learn to love his voice and love music. I could probably thank Barb for the change in tutelage, but as much as Blaine and I were going strong, I still hadn't completely won over one of his best friends yet, but maybe this kind of compliment would put me in her good books.
The joined the standing ovation, finally impressed with the young Mr. Warrener, and I silently wished I was the one getting the applause...I had miss it so.
It was then that a very familiar form walked across the stage, which I noticed to be Blaine. He caught my eyes for a brief second and smiled at me and for some reason I smiled but ducked my head in shy embarrassment. Looking to my right there was a girl, maybe in her early twenties if that in a motorized wheelchair who had fiery red hair and an exuberant smile on her face. To her immediate left, holding her right hand in her lap was my student Kenneth.
I had told Kenneth about the recital and he said he would love to come and see the recital and watch my boyfriend's students. In the recent weeks since approaching my kids differently we all seemed to form a different and tighter bond. I had started teaching one on one with Kenny and my prized pupil was opening up to me and I to him. He waved as I sat back down and I waved back slightly before I saw Kenny leaning over and whispering to the girl beside him.
She turned to me a second later and waved lightly with the biggest most infectious grin on her face that I couldn't help but return.
"Good evening everyone. I'm glad that you have enjoyed the performances thus far, it give us instructors such pride to show off the accomplishments and furtherance that our students have taken during their studies. As you can tell this evening's programs have come to a close but there are two more performances we would like to share with you tonight. Now..."
I looked over my program and sure enough Damian was supposed to be the last performance but the nervous look in Blaine's eye said that I should be paying attention. Santana and Brit had come tonight too, and they were sitting across the aisle from me as well but one row behind Kenneth. Santana gave me wink and a small smile as Brit swayed a little to her side, lost in thought I would only assume. The cheeky look on Tana's face told me she knew what was coming.
"...I, myself was a student at this very institution not that long ago it would seem before I became a teacher here. I love music and for the first time in a long time I have been writing some of my own compositions. Lately, I have had a muse whom has meant a great deal to me and it's because of him...that I am able to present to you two new original compositions from my own song book. The first will be played by Zac Billings, my gradate protege and rising pianist. The piece itself is from my youth and speaks of unbridled sorrow and lament. The second was written only recently, and talks about an awakening of mind, body and soul. It will feature Koh Nishimura on first violin, and its basically my love letter to you, Kurt. Merry Christmas and enjoy everyone."
He looked at me, twinkle in his eye, and I blushed and wanted to cry at the same time. I didn't chance a glance at anyone but the bump Rachel gave my arm was enough for me to break into a huge smile as Zac began the opening notes.
The song was beautiful, and unbelievably haunting. I could imagine Blaine as a scared teenager pouring his heart out in this song, playing the chords with unsure hands and a worried expression. The way Zac played the piece was extraordinary, and looking to the far left of the stage where I knew Blaine was going to be watching, I saw him and what looked like 2 other students, and I think Barb, sitting on the floor out of view, cross legged on the floor.
Ah yes the tradition, even with his new found hearing Blaine still kept the tradition of feeling the music alive and still instilled it into his students and colleagues.
The pain I knew of his childhood made me glance at Cooper who watched with tears in his eyes but a smile on his face, that shone pure pride in his brother's gift for musical composition.
As the final chords rang through, the applause was almost deafening as almost everyone jumped to their feet. Blaine was on the stage instantly hugging Zac in an embrace that seemed more brotherly than as a mentor student relationship. I found myself crying at the sight which only added to the tears that formed from the sonata alone.
It was beautiful.
As Zac took his final bows, shaking his teachers hand and settling himself back at the piano once more, I saw Blaine walk down to the side as the string orchestra finished their set up. Blaine was conducting? I didn't know he could, but since this was his piece I guess he could do it blindfolded. I was just so glad that he could actually hear his own works come to life.
My boyfriend the composer, my boyfriend the musical genius...my Blaine. Then it hit me as he took up his position in front of the orchestra that this was the piece that was meant for me, the music he had written with me in mind and for some reason I tensed, somehow nervous. I had learned that whatever my beautiful man composed would be breathtaking, his talent would show no less but it was like this was his musical verdict on our relationship.
(**)
A diminutive Japanese boy stood with his violin perched as he began the opening with such power I had to hold my breath instinctively. Rachel seemed to have the same feeling as she grabbed my hand and didn't let it go for the remainder of the performance.
As it began I shouldn't have worried, it was more than beautiful...it was almost angelic. Soft and powerful, the flat and sharp chords we perfect and sweetly chilling. It almost portrayed a love that was lost only to be found again after some time.
Blaine seemed to well as the song continued, with each movement I could tell that he was visibly shaking with emotion. As the guitars came in, and it started to crescendo, I could literally feel and hear my heart beating wildly. For those few minutes I could see the music, and all that existed was Blaine and I and the sound of his beautiful and raw emotions played into score.
If there was ever a doubt in my mind that Blaine could have written a song about love where no words were spoken or sung; this was it.
XXXX
"..thank you so much for coming Jon really, and it was lovely meeting both of you as well." Blaine was shaking hands with 3 gentleman off to the side and he seemed really friendly with the one called Jon. I hadn't seen him since the emotional and roaring applause from his last price and I was yet to kiss him and tell him how proud I was. I guess asserting my dominance a little was just a secondary perk. I slid beside him and pecked his cheek.
"Oh Kurt hi. Gentlemen this is my boyfriend Kurt Hummel, a musical genius in his own right."
Dammit Blaine you still make me blush.
"This is my specialist Dr. Jon Rosenberg." Well shit, reality 1, jealous Kurt 0.
"It's a pleasure, Blaine has spoken nothing but kindness about you Jon, he says you're an amazing physician." I firmly gripped his hand but smiled warmly, chipping off any excess ice on my shoulder that I had placed there from earlier jealousy.
"Pleasure Kurt, Blaine has spoken of you during our appointments as well, nothing but good things I assure you. This is my brother Issac, and his husband Jeremy."
Issac and Jeremy extended the same cordial greeting with smiles and well wishes on a pleasant evening, and made sure to congratulate Blaine yet again on an amazing collection of performances, before turning on their heal and leaving with some of the other patrons and parents.
Blaine had seen off Zac not too long ago and Barb was mingling around and was actually talking up a storm now with Rachel, Finn and Damian of all people. God knows where Cooper had gone off to, but oh god, Rach and Damian together would be a diva off of the century, but I was brought out of my musings when Blaine turned me to face him.
This kiss was definitely not meant for the public but I lost my ability to give a shit when I felt the returned enthusiasm when I traced his lips with my tongue, earning me a groan before we separated.
"I'm gathering that you liked your song?"
I laced my arm around his waist and kissed his temple firmly and giggled, he really made me feel like blushing kid a lot of the time.
"It amazed me honey. I'm so proud of you, and it was the best Christmas gift I could have asked for."
"Well that's only part one.."
"Part one?"
"Excuse me Kurt? Mr. Anderson?"
I turned towards the voice that I had come to know quite well over the last few weeks, Kenny. He was standing to both Blaine's and my right and he was holding the left hand of the young lady in the wheelchair whom still had that bright smile on her face.
"Kenny, hi, I'm glag you came. Kenny this is Blaine my boyfriend and apparently composing extraordinaire. Blaine honey this is my student Kenneth but for some reason he likes to go by Kenny, don't ask me why."
Kenny and Blaine shook hands as Kenny let go of the one holding the lady's to his right.
"Kurt, Blaine, I can call you Blaine right?" He nodded, " This is my fiancee Emma."
She was genuinely one of the prettiest girls I had seen that seemed to have lust for life that surpassed most as she reached out and shook both of our hands.
Her eyes were hazel like Blaine's but they had an earthy green quality to them that radiated confidence.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you both. Kenny's told me how amazing you are Kurt and I'm really happy that you've taken him under your wing, someone's got to keep him in line when I'm not there to look after him.
And Blaine, those were beautiful pieces. You really are gifted, so be proud, the audience was really captivated by the story your music told, I know I was."
The maturity that came off this girl was stunning and Blaine leaned over and did something that was very out of character. He actually dropped the professional persona he usually had around new people and reached down and hugged the girl. Emma seemed to be unfazed by the odd show of emotion but literally melted into the hug, patting him on the back reassuringly.
"Thank you Emma, that was a lovely thing to say."
When the hug pulled apart, and Kenny and I shared a glance that was completely adoring, Blaine offered a hand to Emma.
"Em, I can call you that right?" She nodded and took his hand. " Care to take a saunter with me, I can introduce you to a few people if you like, show you the ropes this place."
She lit up like a Christmas tree, "That would be awesome Blaine. I used to play the piano you know, years ago but Kenny said I should start up again..."
Blaine and Emma waved as they continued their conversation and moved towards the main orchestra area leaving me alone with Kenny.
"Did we just get ditched Kurt?"
I laughed and smiled and patted him on the back, " Yep, I think we did. Blaine and Emma seem to have the same infectious joie de vivre."
"Everyone loves Emma."
"Everyone loves Blaine, come on I've got a few people I want you to meet." I slung my arm over his shoulder and walked over to my parents, and family, wanting to show off my prized pupil and new friend. As we walked I could see Blaine out of the corner of my eye laughing and talking animatedly with Emma as he tinkered with the piano. I guess Blaine met a kindred spirit.
XXXX
The rest of that evening I shook hands with more people than I could have remembered. Blaine had said his many thanks to the parents and patrons whom attended but he spent a lot of his time with Emma. I hadn't talked to her too much, I let her new friendship with Blaine flourish instead. Santana smacked him on the ass in true Satan congratulations, and Brit hugged him saying that she was so happy that "Kurt's dolphin could make beautiful music even outside the water."
That was a high compliment coming from my Brit, as I explained to Blaine later, and with one more sultry nod Tana left, pulling a very happy Brittany with her. Not much hand changed with those two.
Cooper and I talked for a while, my dad seemed to be overly emotional all night and Carol was just beaming. My dad pulled me aside later and said something to me that I couldn't really believe came out of his mouth.
"Uh kid, ya know that we have a tradition of opening presents and making cookies on Christmas Eve and then the early morning routines are still the same but well this year's a little different. Is Blaine staying the night at your place on Christmas eve, because I don't think the family would be complete without all my ya know, sons there."
I hadn't thought about it really, I didn't know if Blaine wanted to do the whole Christmas Eve thing with us. I had planned on seeing him Christmas Eve for lunch and then him coming over Christmas day but this idea was so much better and I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner.
"Uh yeah, I need to ask him first but I want him there."
"Good, just good Kurt. Cooper will be at dinner too, I just asked him, so uh yeah. We'll see you at your place then tomorrow."
That was the shiest sentence to grace my father's mouth since we had "that talk" when I was in high school. I could see that Blaine was weaselling his way into my father's heart much the same way he was in mine. My dad saw him as another son already? Never had my father put so much faith in one of my relationships before despite the fact that Blaine was the first I ever brought home since...him, and it was a welcome sensation knowing that everyone around me was behind us, behind me. Positivity was a nice change.
Once everyone had left the auditorium, Cooper drove Carol and my dad back to my place, while Rach and Finn took the subway despite Finn's whining. We said good-bye to Kenny and Emma, Blaine and her swapping numbers with a promise to meet up and maybe Emma might have conceded to letting Blaine give her piano lessons, before we said our farewells and I hailed a cab for us.
I was bursting at the seams with pride for Blaine and what he had accomplished not only for himself tonight but for his students. We talked all about Zac's confidence issue, and how he seemed to come out of his shell even more so tonight. Blaine was talking excitedly with his hands and for once not in sign, he raved about meeting someone like Emma who just seemed so sweet and so much like a non-bitter form of his former self that they connected immediately. He talked about how her and Kenny met, fell in love and despite the riding accident which confined her to a wheelchair, their love was stronger than ever.
He was rambling on and on and it was the cutest freaking thing I had even heard or seen. The impending victory of true love over all else rang true as he talked and I couldn't wait to get him back to the apartment and show him how much I loved him. I would stay with Blaine tonight, that much was agreed upon, because after tonight I would be with my parents. Suddenly I remembered the conversation I had with my dad and as the cab parked in front of his building and paid, I asked him what I was burning to.
The winter air bit as the snow crunched under our feet as we made our way to the front door. The snow was starting to fall now, making it feel like Christmas more each minute.
"Blaine, I was wondering..."
"Hmmm?"
"Did you wanna come and stay with my family and me on Christmas Eve, if you don't wanna it's fine, it's just my dad and I were wondering if, ya know since they all see you as family and part of my life now that it would be...mmph."
Blaine kissed me roughly, grabbing both sides of my face and pressing over and over as our tongues danced, both of us drowning in the moment that seemed so cheesy and yet so beautiful we couldn't care how we looked swaying and kissing in the newly fallen snow.
"I-is that a yes Mr. Anderson?'
I smiled and brushed the snow off of the curls that were tightening by the second as they got soaked by the newly fallen snow.
"That's a hell yes, I'd love to spend Christmas with the family."
The family, my family...our family?
Whether of not we defined anything that night, all both knew was that the feel of hands on bodies, and sweat and love that built up between us as we savoured each others every touch, was a feeling we held onto until the wee hours of the mourn.
Exhaustion was forever lingering but the tension melted and we gave in but not before worshipping and being worshipped.
XXXX
Christmas eve had come and we all had plans. Finn had closed the shop earlier than anticipated but revenues were alright this year so he warranted an extra day with the family since Rach had the next few days off so her understudy could perform. Cooper had an evening planned with some of his old college buddies, and he had said that he would see us bright and early tomorrow morning for the festivities as long as he was still welcome. Blaine smacked him in the head and it was discussion closed.
Carol, Rach and I were busy cooking and secretly still trying to wrap gifts in the other room while Finn, dad and Blaine were trying to decide on whether to get Chinese, pizza or Mexican tonight for dinner since we were going to be having an evening in tonight before dinner tomorrow. Carol and Rach finished the prep on the Christmas feast, readying it for tomorrow first thing, as I organized the seating since it was a much bigger affair this year it would seem, and prepped the ingredients for the cookie bake later tonight.
It was just like any other Christmas Eve with us only with more bodies, more people, more love, and more insanity in the kitchen and bickering over who wanted what for dinner tonight. My dad finally said to hell with it and decided on Chinese saying he didn't want gluten free dough pizza because it seemed wrong, sorry Rach, nor did he want to have to share a room with Finn when he ate too many burritos. I love my dad but really? Thanks for the mental reminder of last Christmas...I would never share a bed with Finn again...ever!
XXXX
Long after the Chinese food was demolished, Blaine seeing yet again what I meant when I said bottomless pit Finn, and the mini flour fight between my dad, Carol, Finn and Blaine had subsided in my kitchen, we all settled into the rearranged family room which had all three couches facing my mounted projection screen o the side wall.
I hated TVs, they looked so out of place with modern decor, that I had to splurge and get a projection screen that came down from the ceiling. Out of sight, out of mind. Once we were munching slowly on cookies and the first half of The Bishops' Wife was over, Blaine, Carol, Rachel and I all silently agreeing that Cary Grant was one of the most delectable men on film in the early twentieth century, dad figured it was time to stop Finn from spazzing out and we could open our presents now.
Finn practically bounced off the couch and over to the tree, which I had decorated immaculately thank you very much, with accents of maroon and gold. All the presents I wrapped were in the same colouring, and it warmed my heart to know that Blaine had done the same, allowing his wrapped gifts to compliment my decorations.
Dad nudged Blaine saying ' nice one', which considering it was Christmas Eve I would let slide with an eye roll.
Well all seemed to pick great gifts this year. Dad and Carol had decided on not giving each other presents but saving for a trip to Hawaii this summer. Finn and Rach had been on the same line, and they would be going with my parents t Hawaii since they never had a honeymoon because of the shop and Rachel's theatre production at the time. Blaine said that instead of giving Rach a gift he would fund a shopping trip with her and I so that she could get a new wardrobe for her honeymoon. Blaine got a kiss from me on that one, and a hug squealing hug from Rach, and Blaine also proved to be even more awesome when he got Finn drumming lessons from a guy who learned from Neil Peart back in the day. Finn may have dislocated his jaw from the shock.
Rachel, Finn and I had decided on a sentimental gift that had Carol in tears and my dad not far off from it as well. We had picked close to a hundred photos of ourselves together and separate over the years and made a scrapbook of the memories we had shared since the Hummels became the Hudson- Hummels... then eventually Hudson -Hummel- Berry...wow we really liked hyphens.
I got Rach tickets to Wicked, on the very anniversary of our impromptu performance at the Gershwin 10 years ago this late spring. It would be a memory we shared forever and I wanted to spend that day celebrating the friendship that turned into so much more that day.
Finn and I got each other basically the same gift, the newest iPads. I got him his because he was horrible at organizing his inventory and needed all the help he could get, and Finn said he got it for me because he new I loved order, and it came with a Burberryesque skin.
Finn was learning, slowly but he was learning.
My parents, Rach and Finn had gotten something for Blaine and I which surprised me, and I also found out that in the last few days Coop had contributed to this idea as well, a 6 night stay in Paris after my graduation from Columbia.
I think I may have passed out, or at very least I didn't blink and my vision went blurry for a second, because Paris? It was like my Mecca, and I got to got there with Blaine. Holy shit!
After many many hugs, Blaine was clearing the paper away when Carol stopped him and told him to open the remaining present from the family to just him.
Blaine went a little star eyed for a second before he looked down and saw the small envelope. I hadn't known about all of this but considering Carol had been asking me the oddest question recently like, what were Blaine favourite colours, and if he liked any specific patterns or not, I knew it must e something important.
When Blaine opened the envelope there was a unframed photo and a key. He looked back over at Carol and then my dad before asking.
"Uh...Burt I'm confused, help a guy out?"
"Well you see kid, you have got to know we care about you because you care about Kurt. You're a good guy Blaine and we see you as family, even this soon. That key there is the key to our front door in Lima, and that photo is the new room we designed from the office. It's a place you can call your own if ever you need to, with or without Kurt, you are always welcome. We wanted to offer you a home, a place in Ohio that welcomes you. If it's too much we'll understand but..."
My dad never finished the sentence because he had a chest full of Blaine. It was a quick hug but it brought tears to my eyes. Blaine pecked Carol on the cheek too and then came back to sit on the floor beside me as everyone started chattering away about their presents.
Blaine looked gobsmacked, I knew my dad had the biggest heart and no number of thank yous could have come out of Blaine's mouth that would have done it justice. He was the happiest I had seen him since I met him and that was saying something.
Having nearly forgotten from the tender moment I saw Blaine and my dad share, I handed Blaine his present from me. It was a white envelop much like the one my dad had given him and a small brightly wrapped box.
"It's not much and I couldn't exactly buy you a new piano, I mean how would I ever find room for that under a tree?" I nudged him and told him to open the envelop first and then the small box. With an expectant smile that can only come from Christmas he opened it up and gasped at the contents.
"What is it sweetie?" Carol broke Blaine of his shock and he looked at her like a deer in headlights before looking back at me.
"Season's tickets to The Met? Are you shitting me? Pardon my french."
"Well not season's tickets, the season is part way over but one of the teachers at work had these for her husband but he didn't want to go so she sold them to me for a very reasonable price. Since you said you liked opera and can hear again I thought it would be something you'd like?"
"Like...baby I love it!" Calling me baby in front of my parents only had them all smiling at how adorable we were sometimes, and even more so once Blaine opened the small box revealing the silk bow tie with piano keys on it.
"Now you have a new bow tie to wear to the Met. So I did okay for our first Christmas?"
Blaine kissed me gently, somehow lost for words but he said millions with that kiss. Sharing something like a kiss with your partner, now unabashed in front of you family was a gift that I could say I was lucky to receive every day.
Once everyone cooed over Blaine's gifts, he went over behind the tree and pulled out the last present, which was really three presents, each one wrapped in a different complimentary paper and each one smaller then the next.
"Blaine, you shouldn't have gotten me so much, the music was more than enough you know it."
"Shush, open the big one first and then work your way up. The top one is kind of for you and me."
As I opened each present Blaine offered commentary.
"The first one is because you have an unhealthy obsession with these things, which always look fabulous on you so I have to encourage such an obsession."
A new off white and black McQueen scarf. I knew how much this cost but I tried to take it in and managed to kiss him quickly before moving on to the next.
"This is catering to your obsession with your skin, knowing how important it is to you and all, and the other things were just cute and I couldn't help it."
He gave me a 200 dollar gift car for the beautician downtown where I bought my skin care line and a cute pair of new cufflinks that looked like they had aged music parchment in them.
"I guess I have something else new to wear to the opera too." Everyone giggled but Blaine wouldn't accept another kiss until I opened the last present.
He seemed the most excited by this one and when I opened it I could see why. Inside the flat black jewellery box were two pendants, that slipped into each other to make a whole. One was a treble clef in yellow gold, the markings I love you scrawled on the side with a single diamond laden in the middle. The other an intricate silver disc that surrounded the other piece, the words I love you written in the same script with two smaller diamonds inlaid on the engraved double note that was scribed on top. Two pieces of a whole, combined by music and love, just how I saw Blaine and I.
My silence had apparently started to make Blaine nervous, and the looks on my family's faces read like a open book. We are intruding on a private moment.
And maybe they were, but I was glad to see that they were there to share in my sheer joy.
"So...you like?"
"I'll quote this gorgeous guy I know...I love it!"
I kissed him again, Blaine laughing against my lips, but all too quickly Blaine broke away to start unfastening the clips from both chains and settling the silver one around my own neck before letting me do the same with the yellow gold for him.
"I knew that you like silver better for your skin tone, and that piece is more ornate so I figured you'd like the originality."
I kissed him again, leaning over and placing my hand on the pendant around his neck now, whispering over the excited chatter of my family.
"I love it because it's from you, and knowing that this half.." I gently pet the pendant and the area around it where his collar bones met, is for me."
Blaine only smiled before pulling me against the pillows we had propped up against the side of the couch on the floor and watched the final minutes of the movie that no one was really paying attention to now.
One quote stood out in my mind as the movie closed in the background. It was a quote I had learned in school, in poetry and literature, and it's meaning was never more present than now, here with Blaine
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."- Aldous Huxley
Best. Christmas. Eve. Ever.
XXX
Okay come on it was worth the wait right? Please leave me a review for this one, it took a lot out of me and it was super long. Pretty please with Klaine on top?
Soooo glad that I got to write Cooper the way that I did...the sentimental good big brother but with a mix of canon!Cooper in there for you too.
Hudmel-Berry-ness is always fun and the next chapter will be full of such random epicness, plus some much missed out on Niff in recent times.
The song list is as follows:
Damian's Aria : Roberto Alagna : "La fleur que tu m'avais jetée" from Carmen. Beautiful opera and I love Roberto's diction, french pronunciation and flow, give it a listen :)
Blaine's Sonata performed by Zac : Dreilide Sonata 1 by Bear McCreary, the one from the previous chapter. It's emo and pretty so listen again if you so chose.
Kurt's Concerto (Seraphic concerto): Roslin and Adama by Bear McCreary ( not the piano solo). This piece always make me cry with happy tears. It soooo powerful and was the main reason I started this fic in the first place, it will become their song in so many ways. The (**) in the middle of the chapter is when the song begins...give it a listen so you can tell where my inspiration comes from.
The move is obviously 1947's The Bishop's Wife starring Cary Grant, Davis Niven, and Loretta Young. It's an older one for sure and super cheesy but it is still one of my favourite Christmas flicks to date/
The Klaine Christmas gifts, all of them will be posted on my tumblr: whenbluemethazel(dot)tumblr(dot)com in the near future in case anyone wants to see what the gifts look like.
I really enjoyed writing this and since it was so long, I deserve a cookie...I'm gonna get a cookie...and maybe some feedback?
Love you all to pieces, you really make my day brighter having read this, never mind the rest of this End Note which is too long I know.
XOXO
Ta!