My palms are sweating, my breathing is quick and I am agitated. The anticipation is overwhelming. I close my eyes are try to dream, but dreams only bring pain. All I can see is blood, all I can hear are piercing screams, all I can feel is fire burning my skin.

I must wake up.

My eyes flutter open, and I can see that I am in a sea of people, then I remember where I am and why I am so nervous.

It's the reaping.

I can see our bright and bubbly escort cross the stage and express her absolute excitement for the Games, my stomach churns, how dare she? How dare they all express their love for this torturous day, how dare they celebrate, when they know that somewhere, a family is grieving.

I see them as darkness. I know that they are the monsters under my bed. I'm aware of the fact that they are the reason that I'd wake up screaming, and yet, no one is by my side. My sister, who is so young, is burdened at such a young age. My mother, who has completely gone insane from the loss of a husband. But she isn't the only one who lost someone, I lost a father.

But it seems that no one thinks of me.

Do I hate her? No. Do I hate them? Yes.

I clench my fists and growl, her accent fills my ears and it takes all of my will power not to rip them out.

Then I hear a name that I never wanted to hear.

"Katniss Everdeen!"

I stopped checking for monsters under the bed when I realized it was me all along.

I had become a puppet. I had become one of them. I am now their property.

And it takes everything that I have not to kill them…and myself.

I'm curious. My sanity has been questioned on numerous occasions.

'Why is she screaming?'

Curious.

'Why does she run away from me?'

Curious.

'Why did she hold a knife to her doctor's throat?'

Curious?

I'll tell you why. Because it's their fault. They made me like this. I am afraid. I am no longer strong.

That is, until I let him in. The flame that was long extinguished ever since my victory was set alight once again. And he resurrected me from the ashes of my own destruction.

It is because of him, that I realized that I will no longer tolerate being a Capitol puppet.

I wake up at 5:30am, and I'm in my room, I must have wandered back here after Peeta left without realizing it.

The tributes leave at 6am, I have half an hour left before Peeta leaves, I must see him. I promised him that I'd be there to see him off. Haymitch and I have come to a firm decision that he will be the one sending Vailea off this morning, because he's afraid of what our feelings towards each other might do.

I walk to his room and I find him sitting on the floor staring out of the window. The sunlight of the dawn is lighting up his features, I can see that his hair turns gold in the sun, and I can finally witness his long eyelashes. His blue eyes sparkle, but I can see dread in them. He looks like a kid, no more than fourteen. Innocent. But I know that the Games will change that, because the Games change everyone.

"Peeta?" I sit myself beside him.

He snaps himself out of his trance, "Oh, good morning Katniss. How are you?"

"I think I'm the one that should be asking you that. But, to tell you the truth, I'm scared."

Peeta looks at me baffled, "Why are you scared?"

"I'm scared of losing you."

He brings his arms around me and pulls me into an embrace, "Oh, Katniss, you're not going to lose me. I promised I would come back right?"

"Yeah, you did."

"I never break my promises. I am going to come back, whether I have countless scars or not."

"I think that the scars make us who we are. I still have mine. It reminds me of who I am. They were so determined to get rid of them, but Haymitch told them to leave the scars. I think that it's the only thing left of me that I consider real. Whenever something bad happens to me, or my family, I look at my scars and I realize that if I was able to get through the Games, I can do anything."

"Your scars make you beautiful. I think they make you flawless," Peeta lightly kisses the scar on my wrist.

My stomach flutters, and this sensation is foreign to me. I want more, I want to have his arms around me, I want to have him kiss me. I want him to stay. But I know that our time is limited.

I look up at him and I notice the dark circles that frame his cerulean eyes, "You didn't sleep did you?"

Peeta shakes his head, "No, I couldn't sleep, I went back to the roof and I saw you sleeping, so I carried you back to your room, I didn't want to wake you up."

"You should have, it would have been more pleasant to get rid of the nightmares."

He looks startled, "You have nightmares?"

I nod my head, "Yes, I do, every night."

"About what?"

"The arena. Roman. Tristan. Kaila. Mostly about the tributes that I killed. They're a constant reminder about how the Capitol changed me, about what I have become. How I have become a monster."

Peeta kisses my temple, "You're not a monster Katniss. I think you're just confused and guilty."

"I killed Roman and Kaila on purpose, I didn't even hesitate, I just did it. I'm the murderer."

"If you're a murderer then what's the Capitol? If you compare the number of people you've killed, it's miniscule compared to the numbers of the Capitol. What? They've killed at least eight hundred innocent kids, and turned them against one another. Brother turned on brother every year until one remained. The majority lost their sanity. But you're still here, sure, you're broken, you're hurt beyond measure, but you are still kind, you didn't let the pressures get to you, you didn't let your prep team alter you, you didn't succumb to the expectations of a victor. That's what makes you special."

I find myself smiling at his words, how he said them with such sincerity. But there's something that he doesn't know, the Capitol has changed me. He's right though, compared to me, the Capitol has committed a mass murder, but I will be no different once I go through with this rebellion. Lives will be lost, I am sure that it will be thousands upon thousands. I am one of the faces of the rebellion, I am one of the reasons that the plan is being put into action, I will be the one who is responsible for their pending death.

On impulse, I kiss him gently and he responds back, but he begins to pull away and I refuse, placing my hand on the back of his head and pushing him back into the vicinity of my lips.

He pulls away and whispers in my ear, "I wish I could freeze this moment, and live in it forever."

Shivers are sent down my spine and I tremble until his breath, I close my eyes and savour this moment, "Me too."

But I am so confused, what are we? Are we a couple? Are we friends? I don't know. I like him, maybe a little bit too much. I have never let a boy kiss me before, let alone touch me the way that he has. He was my first kiss. Whenever I am apart from him, I ache, I actually miss him. I feel guilty, playing with his feelings like this, I might be giving him the wrong impression, because I don't actually know what I feel for him.

I trail my fingers along his jaw, and he closes his eyes, I lean in and kiss him on the nose, on his temple, on his eyelid, and finally, on his lips.

It's the last kiss that we're going to have before he is taken into the arena, so I take in everything that I can. I kiss him deeply but carefully and he reciprocates, running his hands through my hair.

Our tranquil time is interrupted by the sound of Effie's voice ringing in the hallway. Peeta stands up and pulls me with him, but I take his face into my hands and tell him, "When the gong sounds, get the hell out of there, and make sure to find water. Also, remember this Peeta, you are more than just a piece in their games."

I take the elevator down to the Control Centre, there are twelve rooms per District and the mentors use them to keep a private eye on their tributes, it's also convenient because the Gamemakers are close by. Sometimes Johanna sneaks up to their door and eavesdrops on them. It's quite funny.

Haymitch meets me by the 12th door, he says that Effie is already inside.

The room is the usual, brown and black furniture to compliment District Twelve's specialty. It's a beautiful room, but at the same time, it's so sinister.

The television springs to life and I can see a grass field with a lake beside it, and beyond the Cornucopia lies a vast area of woodland.

I can hear the cheering of the Capitol citizens from outside of the Control Centre as the countdown begins, how despicable they are.

I sit down on the sofa in front of the TV beside Haymitch and grip the arm of it tightly. I scan the area looking for Peeta and Vailea and I find Vailea six tributes to the right of Peeta. She is eyeing the supplies in the Cornucopia while Peeta takes in his surroundings, and I can see that he's positioning his feet in the direction of the woods.

"Did you tell Vailea to go for the Cornucopia?"

Haymitch's forehead creases, "No, I told her to specifically to get as far as she can from it. Such a stubborn girl, she reminds me of you."

I remember, I remember eyeing the Cornucopia before the Games started in my time, but halfway through sprinting there I changed direction and ran into the forest.

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing."

"It's not. Trust me. But tell me this Katniss, what exactly is going on between you and the boy?" Haymitch's eyebrows raise up.

I can feel my cheeks turn red, "I-I honestly don't know Haymitch."

He chuckles, "Whatever you say sweetheart, whatever you say."

I shake my head at him and focus my attention up on the screen.

Five.

My palms begin to sweat.

Four.

I take in a deep breath.

Three.

I silently pray for Peeta's safety.

Two.

My heart twists in a knot.

One.

The gong sounds.

Ooooooo! What's going to happen to Peeta? Or has something happened to him already? ;) Stay tuned and reviews are appreciated! My reviewers, I'd like to thank you for reviewing and supporting me. It means the world, you all are the reason that I continue writing, I am forever in your debt. So please, enjoy! :)