Oy vey! Reading through my first few chapters, I apologize for the grammatical and spelling errors! Sorry about that! But thanks to those who have reviewed and PM me! Please, feel free to review more, I appreciate any and all criticism.
We sat there for a little while looking through the plant book talking about the different plants we entered together.
"Nightlock. You tried to get me to eat them so you could win the Games. Real or not real"
"Not real. We were going to eat them together."
Peeta was quiet for a while before continuing, "Katniss, why did you even try to save me?"
I struggled trying to figure how best to put it until finally blurting out, "Peeta, you saved me before when I needed it most and I knew I couldn't live with myself if I let you die. Not after what you did for me and my family." "The bread?" he asked, trying to see if he was remembering correctly. "Yes, the bread. You burned it and then gave it to me. You don't know how much that helped until I was able to feed us on our own," I replied, trying not to dwell too much on the pit in my stomach reminding me of how indebted I was to him. Silence again as we finished looking through the book. By the time we finished the sun was setting and as we sat there in the living room looking out the window a panicked sense came across Peeta's face. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous too.
"Katniss, I... I need to go," he said quickly. And before I could tell him to wait he quickly said goodbye and left, leaving the door open after her ran to his home. Greasy Sae didn't come to either of our homes that night and I was starting to feel a little hungry. I didn't really trust my cooking skills since all I really knew was how to cook the meat I caught, but I skinned the squirrels and prepared them, cooking them on a pan. As I ate mine I thought about Peeta. He and his father liked the squirrels I caught and sold to them. Oh Peeta. My poor Peeta. The thought caught me off guard. He wasn't really mine, but at the same time, I didn't really have anyone else. Prim was dead. My father had died before any of this mess happened. My mother was in District 4 setting up a hospital and helping Annie and Finn. She had a replacement family. Gale was in 2 with who knows what replacement of me. But Peeta was alone. And so was I. And then it hit me. Peeta is alone. Flashback or not, he was my friend and I needed to learn how to adjust to his flashbacks just as much as he did. So I packed up what remained of the squirrel and headed over to his house.
I knocked on the door softly waiting to see if I could hear any movement inside and heard a soft, "Go away." I pushed the door open slightly and poked my head in knocking again, pretending I hadn't heard Peeta's request to go away. "Peeta, it's me. I thought I'd bring-" "Katniss, you shouldn't be here. It's not safe," he said, seated at the table with his head in his hands. "Peeta," I said matter-of-factly, moving towards him. "I told you before, I can defend myself. You need to eat though." And I place the place of squirrel meat on the table. "Where are your forks? Do you want any bread with it? Are you thir-" Peeta interrupts me, "Katniss, why are you here? I can take care of myself. What do you want?" His tone surprised me a bit and I wasn't sure how upset he truly was.
"Peeta, I just wanted to make sure you ate something! You're my friend. Regardless of what you may have done in the past you're still my friend and I care about you. It sucks being damaged like this. But being there for each other could at least help the situation!" I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. I just stood there staring at him, trying not to cry, as he raised his head and stood back at me for what seemed like forever.
"Katniss, I don't want to do this alone. But I also don't want to hurt anyone anymore. You're one of the few people I have left besides Haymitch and I don't think I could live with myself if I did anything to you again." He said sullenly. "Peeta, let me help you. Two minds are better than one, right? Why not let me be there when you have your flashbacks? The sooner I am there the better I can know how to help you."
He simply shook his head and I could tell he had given up fighting with me for the moment. "whatever, Katniss, just stop trying to poison me with this squirrel, okay?" he said with a straight face. I was a bit thrown back to which he got a chuckle on his face and said, "I'm kidding! But really… Let me cook this in the future." I tried to act offended, but who was I kidding? I was a terrible cook. I'm still amazed Prim and I survived off of what I caught and tried to cook for as many years as we had.
"Fine, then start coming over when Sae cooks," I said, "it's kind of lonely when all she does is sit there looking at me as I eat. At least this way I can have two sets of eyes giving me suspicious looks while I eat." He laughs to himself and he tries to finish the squirrel. As he finishes I ask, "Did you have an episode tonight?"
"Yes," was all he said as the smile left his face. I didn't say anything, I just sat there trying to give a sympathetic look.
"Peeta, I still have nightmares. Every night." "I know, I hear your screaming all the way in my room." I didn't realize I was that loud, but whatever, there's no point in acting surprised by his reaction now, "Peeta, I don't sleep well and I wish I did. Before this happened… before you were taken from me by the Capitol, you were always there for me, let me try to be the good guy for once and be there for you." "Katniss, you're not a guy." "You know what I mean!" I couldn't help but laugh at his smart comment. And with that we got up and cleaned the dish, fork and cup he had used like we did in the mornings.
The next day he came with Sae for breakfast and dinner. This happened for the next few days without much of an issue. Peeta walked Sae over every evening, her holding onto his arm. I imagine it's for both of their stability as they both had arms full of bread and other food. Sure enough, the first few days were spent in silence as Sae would cook, Peeta would cut bread and I would set the table. We would eat under Sae's supervision and Peeta and I would exchange quick glances and smiles until Sae would leave and Peeta would escort her home.
After almost a week of this, Sae excuses herself saying she needs to go home to take care of her granddaughter. Peeta jumps up, offering to walk her home, and she reassures him that she's okay. As she leaves Peeta and I sit back down and finish eating our bowls of rabbit stew.
"So about that book you thought we should start," Peeta begins, "Do you want to get started on it?"
"Sure, I just got some paper from Dr. Aurelius and he said it's a great idea. Let me go get it upstairs," I said excusing myself. As I'm upstairs thumbing through the box I had gotten full of medicine and other items from Dr. Aurelius I had a loud crash downstairs. I grab the entire box and head down there to see what happened. Peeta was on the ground, writhing on the ground. I knelt down beside him calling his name, "Peeta? Peeta? It's okay. It's ok-" I stop as his eyes open and they are dark. Before I can finish, he grabs my braid pulling me closer to his face when he yells, "You killed them! You killed them you filthy mutt! You killed my family!" as his grip caught me off guard and my head is pulled in an awkward position he continues yelling as I struggle to break free. When I finally do he spits in my direction and gets up, quickly rushing towards me. A little better prepared, I grab a chair and throw it in his direction, creating a quick obstacle he tumbles over, head first into the corner of a wall. As he falls I could hear a groan leave his lips as he stopped moving, hunched over the chair. I stood shocked for a few seconds until I saw him roll over unconscious and land on the ground with a thud.
I sprang to his side, moving the chair and calling his name. "Peeta? Peeta! Peeta, wake up! Please!" As I pull him closer and place his head in my lap I start crying a little, worried that I may have hurt him more than I intended to. "Peeta, please wake up! I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm so, so sorry! Please. Wake up!" As I continue calling his name his eyelashes start to flutter and gradually his eyes open. When he fully wakes up he is shocked and looks at me, all snotty nosed and red-eyed.
"Katniss! What happened? I'm so sorry! Please don't cry!" I wipe my nose with my sleeve and help him sit up. "You had a flashback. But it wasn't too bad" "Wasn't too bad? What happened? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" While my head definitely hurt from him pulling my hair so tightly, I decide not to mention it. "No, I'm not hurt. If anything I think I hurt you more," I say, lightly touching the red bump that is continuing to rise on his forehead. He winces at the pain and says, "As long as I didn't hurt you that's all that matters."
I stand up and he helps me pull the chair upright. It's definitely broken, but not so badly that it isn't unusable. I help him walk to the couch and go to grab the box I had rushed downstairs with. As I bring it to the couch and start digging through the box some of the medicine spills out but Peeta simply sets it on the side table, examining each bottle.
"They're to help me fall sleep," I say, not looking up. The fact of the matter is that while I still sleep pretty lousily these at least knock me out so I can sleep and escape the thoughts running through my head. But he doesn't say anything. I think he might still feel bad for the entire episode.
"All right, here we go," I say as I pull out the stack of paper and pens Dr. Aurelius sent. "Where would you like to start, Peeta?" "Katniss, I don't know that I'm up to it tonight. Do you mind if we start it tomorrow? I think I just want to go home and sleep," is all he says. I offer to see him home but he insists he's fine on his own and leaves, closing the door silently as he leaves.