The next morning I woke up in a fresh pool of sweat. Although the weather has been getting warmer, I know it was due to my previous night's nightmare. Peeta was choking me and accusing me of everything under the sun while my arms and legs were pinned down by his body. I jolted when I awoke and sat up straight in bed, trying to gather my surroundings despite the darkness around me. It couldn't have been later than 2:30 or 3 so I got up and walked towards my bedroom door. As I walked past my window I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Peeta's window was on as well. At first I thought to go over but then my better judgment kicked in and I decided to go camp out on the couch until he and Sae came over for breakfast.
I woke up to a giggle and a piece of yarn touching my nose. Sae's granddaughter was playing with a ball of yarn above my face trying to wake me up. When I opened my eyes and sat up I noticed Peeta in the kitchen with Sae talking about something. I was still a bit out of it so I stumbled towards the table while Sae's granddaughter ran to Peeta who picked her up and sat her on his lap. He continued talking with Sae while holding out his hands so the girl could wrap them in yarn. This was a much better version of Peeta that I wanted to think of. I propped my head up in my hand and looked in their direction half-conscious until Peeta asked me something and I was snapped back into reality.
"What about it Katniss? Do you think it's a good idea?"
"Wh-what? Sorry, do I think what is a good idea?"
"Reopening the bakery. After last night I went home and started digging around the books I had and found one my father had made. It had his recipes in it. I even tried one for this morning," he said, passing me a plate with muffins on it. "What do you think?"
I smelled the muffin and bit into it, tasting the strong cinnamon, sugar and blueberry flavors. "This is delicious," I said. Peeta got a boyish grin on his face and said thanks before offering one to Sae's granddaughter.
As we ate in silence a sense of pride spread across Peeta's face that I hadn't noticed in far too long. I couldn't help smile as well. When Sae and her granddaughter got up to leave and Peeta and I started cleaning the dishes, I asked him about the bakery idea and what else he had decided to do with it.
"Probably rebuild it. It looks pretty bad."
And as he says it I realize I haven't gone into town in the several months I've been home. I've wandered around here and to the woods, but I think I've really been avoiding the other people.
"Would you like to come see it with me?" he says, interrupting my thoughts. I simply nod in agreement.
As I go upstairs to change I realize I've been wearing the same clothes for a few days and decide to take a bath. I yell downstairs to Peeta that he can go ahead and I'll meet him there because I needed to make myself presentable. Imagine my surprise when he coyly said, "Oh come on, Katniss. You don't need to get dressed up. We're just going to town. It's not like it will make you look any different anyway."
As I walk downstairs I stop on the last step so he can see me as I give him my nastiest look and say "How rude!" He continues smiling and begins to chuckle to himself when he begins to restate his phrase, "And by that I mean you look great everyday!" before I smack his arm. "No, go ahead and get gussied up if it makes you feel better. I'm going to go get something from my house and I'll be right back."
I run upstairs to wash my body and try to find something that isn't dirty or ripped. The best I can kind is simple cotton dress. I think it may have been my mother's but I put it on anyway. I feel like an imposter wearing the dress but decide to take it one step further by putting on a pair of flat shoes that are definitely not my comfortable boots. As I start to head downstairs I hear Peeta announce his arrival and stop at the top of the stairs feeling a bit embarrassed by how I looked. What would he think? Am I trying to impress him? Do I really care? And proceed to descend the stairs.
When I get to the bottom Peeta gives me the best compliment I've gotten in a while with, "Very nice. You look very presentable Miss Everdeen." "Why thank you, Mr. Mellark. It's amazing what a shower can do to someone who hasn't done it in almost a week." We laugh and head out the house towards to town.
"What did you go get, Peeta?" "The plans for the new bakery," he responded. "I want to keep the feel my father established but make it my own, you know?" I nod since I wasn't too familiar with the bakery. Sure I sat outside of it starving to death when Peeta saved me, and sure, Prim and I would go peek through the windows at the beautiful cakes Peeta decorated, but I had never set foot inside. His mother would shoo Prim and I away from the entrance when we stopped for more than a second or two.
As we head towards town I notice several people looking at me like I was from another planet. Peeta waved at them and they waved back, but I heard their whispers about the lunatic who killed Coin. My cheeks turned red from embarassment but Peeta noticed and put his arm around my shoulders as we walked further into town finally reaching the shell of the bakery.
As we walked inside Peeta gave my shoulder a tight squeeze and let go, wandering down what must have been a hallway. The roof was gone in most areas and the windows were all missing. I wandered around trying to piece what had gone where but failing miserably. "That used to be where the cash register sat," he said, pointing to a long countertop near the hallway. "And there," pointing towards a large room to the left, "was where we baked". I could see what must have been a brick oven and wandered closer towards it feeling the ash covered brick. I was glad he remembered these things but couldn't help but ask, pulling his arm so he would stand still long enough to hear and answer me, "Peeta, how much do you remember?" He stopped and thought about it, "I remember a good bit. My memories of people who were most important to me are really the things that suffer," he sighed before perking up again, "but I do remember this bakery!" I gave a half-hearted smile before continuing to follow him around and listening to his ideas for the bakery.
After about an hour and a half he asked if I was hungry. I wasn't, but I could tell he might be so we headed back to the Victor's Village. Upon arriving we saw a truck unloading around a dozen geese. Haymitch was standing next to it and paying the driver.
"Haymitch, what is this?" I ask. "Well, Effie said they're limiting the amount of alcohol coming to the district so I thought I'd get a hobby." "Raising geese?" Peeta and I ask in unison. "Well, sort of," he stammers until getting defensive, "Well you have your hunting and Peeta bakes and paints, so why can't I raise geese? I'm responsible enough!" to which we both laugh. Dismissing ourselves we walk towards Peeta's house.
Once inside he offers me a drink and pulls out some meat and bread from his refrigerator. I admit that I'm not hungry but insist he eat if he is. While he fixes his lunch I ask him, "Peeta, you still paint?" He finishes making his sandwich and slowly turns around while letting out a slight sigh. "Yes. Dr. Aurelius think it's good for me to help establish what's real and what isn't." "Well how can you tell what's real and what isn't?" I ask. "Haymitch helps me. At least when he's sober enough. He comes over and I feed him lunch while he looks at my paintings throwing out what is real and what isn't."
I felt a bit hurt that he hadn't asked me to help but before I can continue my thoughts he surprises me, "Want to go over them with me today?" "Sure," I respond. After he finishes his sandwich he leads me to the study. The layout is similar to my house so I know it's not a long walk, but he's silent which makes it feel a bit longer.
As he opens the door for me into the study I see that every wall is covered with incredible life-like portraits and scenes. There's one of us in our parade costumes from the original games. There's one of Rue's body, surrounded by flowers. There is one of Finnick reviving him during the Quarter Quell. Each picture I see brings back so many memories that it is hard not to cry and my body betrays me as I begin to cry a little. Peeta senses it and comes from what he was doing to put his hand on mine.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think they would affect you like this. You don't have to help me with these." "No, I want too," I nod vehemently, "I'm just so impressed with how well you paint. You get it. You get it all. That's what amazes me. You don't just paint the scene, but you paint their personalities as well. That's what makes it so sad for me that you can't remember your brothers' faces as well."
He scratches his head and says, "Well, that's why I'm glad you're here today. I painted what I think is a picture of my family. But I'm not sure. I know Haymitch would be useless because if he ever noticed them he was drunk." And he takes out a picture of his family. They're all lined up in front of the bakery as if posing for a picture. His father's face is kind as it was, his mothers face was kinder than I ever remember it being, and his brothers faces were almost right. "Your brother Rye. His eyes were a different color and he had a big mole right there on his jaw." I said, pointing to the area where the mole was.
Peeta laughed with me as he painted on the mole and asked for clarification on the eye color. "I want to hang this in the bakery," he sighs, "you know, when it's finished. As a reminder of them." I think it's a great idea and tell him so.
As I continue inspecting the different paintings I come across one of a hand holding a pearl. Given the skin color I know it's my hand. Peeta comes up next to me and asks, "I gave you that pearl on the beach during the Quarter Quell. Real or not real?" "Real," I respond softly. "Good," Peeta asks, putting his hand into his pocket and pulling something out, "because I was wondering why I have this," he said, opening his hand to reveal the pearl.
My mouth dropped open a little bit and unsure of himself, Peeta puts a hand on my shoulder and says, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry if this brings back bad memories. I'll keep it." "No, Peeta. That brings back anything but bad memories," I say, "I honestly think sitting on that beach with you was one of the happiest times I had during the games," I continue. I wish I had stopped because Peeta got a suspicious and curious look on his face and asked why. I laughed, "You know why, Mellark! You watched the videos. I'm sure you know what happened then." He chuckled and pulled me in for a hug. I can't remember the last time I was hugged, much less the last time it felt so comforting.
We pulled away slowly and began looking at other paintings, me verifying what was real and what wasn't, and Peeta pulling out more sketches of scenes. As the "not real" pictures were shown and rejected he would tear up the picture and throw it into a box that was already half-full. When we finished we sat down on two separate chairs and Peeta passed me the pearl and touched my hand, "Thank you," he said. I nodded and accepted the pearl, playing with it in my hand.
We sat there for what felt like hours as I played with the pearl and he looked at me, asking for confirmation of other memories he had but hadn't painted. As we looked out the large window I noticed the sun begin to set and Peeta pointed at the beautiful color in the sky, "That's my favorite color. Real or not real?" "Peeta, that's not a good real or not real question," I chuckled to which he joined me. "I know, but I wanted to see if YOU knew."
We finished watching the sun set and I handed Peeta the pearl, "Here, you should keep this until you find a girl you can remember wanting to give it to," I said. The happy expression left his face and he accepted it, putting it back into his pocket slowly. I felt bad, but at the same time I meant it. If Peeta didn't love me the same way as before I didn't want to keep tokens of what was robbed from me.
I helped pull him out of the chair and we walked back to my house where Sae was waiting with a warm meal. She smiled when she saw us happily walk through the door. She excused herself to go home and before she left told us what she had made for dinner. "A new train came in from the Capitol today. Lots of good food I haven't seen in a while. Decided to make a special treat. Lamb stew."