AN: I've started a Tumblr at the recommendation of people PM-ing me. You can give me prompts, ask questions and follow progress there if you wish. It's fake organisms at tumblr dot com. Thanks again everyone.
Santiago was rummaging through his locker for his workbook muttering expletives under his breath. He always struggled to find anything in the disorganized shit pile he called a locker. It was annoying, especially as he was running late for class.
It was just after lunch break and he was in a bad mood after seeing Brittany laughing with Sam fucking Evans. Even Sugar was practically drooling over him in his letterman jacket that proudly displayed his status as a member of the football team. What was so funny anyway? He was probably doing one of his silly and ridiculous impressions. Frankly, Santiago thought that his Sean Connery sounded exactly like his George Bush. But whatever, it's not like he cared anyway.
Finally, he found his workbook buried under a pile of papers he was meant to bring home and study but had instead flung into the locker without a second's hesitation. Study Spanish? No thanks. He'd more productive watching an episode of Dora the Explorer than reading Mr. Schue's notes.
He was shoving his book into his bag when Karofsky and Azimo waddled around the corner toward him.
"I'm telling you, she would definitely be up for a good pounding I hear she's into anything. Megan told me that she even had a fucking girlfriend. She's so dumb I could convince her to have a threesome." Karofsky's voice felt like it was rebounding off the walls and echoing in Santiago's ears. He knew they were talking about Brittany. He just knew.
"I think Sam has been having his way with her though. They're both stupid enough for each other anyway," Azimio was laughing evilly as Santiago stepped in front of them.
"Who's Sam been having his way with?" He asked, feigning nonchalance.
"Brittany, the girl you've been giving the puppy dog eyes to the past few months. What happened there then? She can't seem to settle for one dick, she's probably trying to make her rounds with the football team. I'm more than willing to help her out," Karofsky stuck his tongue out and rotated his hips slowly, a cocky grin on his face.
Santiago's blood was boiling and without even making a conscious decision, he swung his left hand back and punched Karofsky in the jaw with every ounce of strength in his body.
Azimo tried to stop the second blow but instead Santiago aimed it at him and knocked him straight to the ground.
"You fucking piece of shit," he spat, kicking him in the side and turning his attention back to Karofsky who seemed to be in shock. He was clutching his swelling jaw and his face was contorted in anger.
"What the fuck Lopez?" he winced as he spoke.
"Don't talk about her like you know her, you dickhead," Santiago couldn't control the piping hot rage bubbling beneath the surface. He was livid.
"What? I didn't know you were still into the Rain Woman," he chuckled despite himself.
Santiago didn't think twice when he kneed him in the balls and shoved him to the ground, sitting over him and punching him again in the face.
"San! Stop it." He heard Brittany shouting but it seemed like she was somewhere far away, her voice barely cutting through the white noise buzzing in his head.
He briefly looked behind him and saw that Brittany was standing right there, pleading with him to get off Karofsky. Quinn was beside her, staring at them with an unreadable expression on her face. It was only then that he noticed the large crowd gathered around them.
"Please, stop. He's not worth it, I promise you. Just leave him alone," he looked down at Karofsky who was struggling to push him off and back at Brittany who was shaking and fighting back tears.
He dropped his raised fist and Brittany pulled him up, running her hand over his bleeding knuckles and whispering soothing words in his ear. He couldn't register any other noise, it was all Brittany.
He felt as if he had left his body, and it was only when the voice of Principal Figgins caused the crowd to scatter that he looked around him properly and saw Azimio and Karofsky struggling to stand up, Brittany looking at him like she was only seeing him for the first time and Quinn smirking like the cat who caught the cream.
Oh god, he felt like he was going to puke. What the fuck had he just done?
He was sat in front of Principal Figgins in the uncomfortable, squeaky seat he had been in many times before. The clock was ticking loudly on the wall and Figgins was shaking his head disappointedly.
"I have given you many chances Mr. Lopez. I understand that people like yourself come to America seeking dreams and opportunities and I have tried to give you both." Santiago opened his mouth to protest his racist remark but was shushed by a raised finger.
"You will have your chance to speak in a moment. But first, I must tell you that it is with a heavy heart I must do what I have to in order to ensure that all of my students are in a safe environment when they come to this school."
"That's bullshit, Kurt's been bullied for years and Karofsky slushies half the school's population daily," Santiago butted in, unable to keep his mouth shut.
"Mr. Lopez, you are in deep enough trouble as it is, I suggest you keep quiet. Anyway, as I was saying, the safety of my students is a number one priority in my life and with that in mind, I must expel you from McKinley High. I will be ringing your parents to inform them of my decision. You are free to complete the day but from tomorrow you are no longer welcome within these halls. Now, please pack up your locker with your things, I have a phone call to make." Figgins waved his hand dismissively in the direction of the door.
Santiago was frozen. The nauseous feeling in his stomach multiplied and moisture was pooling in his mouth, he was about to vomit all over the desk. He was expelled? What the fuck was he going to do? He inhaled deeply and released a shaky breath fighting off the urge to get sick.
He stood up slowly and made his way out the door.
Brittany was sitting outside waiting for him. He was startled by her appearance; he hadn't been expecting her to wait around.
"What did he say?" the words rushed from her mouth, she looked as sick as he felt.
"I… I just got expelled," saying the words out loud made it even more real. He was going to be a nobody, a Lima loser destined to work in the local gas station. And after beating two guys up in an uncontrollable anger, he didn't want Brittany anywhere near him. He couldn't expose her to the life he grew up in, a life of violence and rage.
"What? How could he expel you? Karofsky has done worse to loads of people. He can't, he can't just throw you out," she tried to pull him in for a hug but he couldn't bring himself to touch her with his tainted hands.
The look of hurt on her face when he stepped back from her made his heart break.
"You have to stay away from me. I'm no good for you. I'm a horrible person." His voice was trembling.
"Stop this. Don't push me away. I need you," she was crying now and her tears were running down her pale cheeks. How could everything go so wrong, so suddenly?
"I need some time Britt. It's one thing ruining my own life but I could never, ever live with myself by bringing you down with me," he hesitantly brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, savoring the feel of her skin on his mouth. Even touching her felt wrong, like he wasn't good enough to have the privilege.
He walked away without turning back, unable to cope with the image of Brittany looking dejected and terrified of what was to come. He went straight to the boy's restroom. As he locked the stall door behind him, he fell to the floor and broke down, his whole body shook with the force of his sobs.
Santiago's phone kept buzzing in his pocket but he ignored it. His mind was a jumbled mess and he needed to sort himself out. He needed to get away and think for a while. He switched it off without checking to see who was calling and stumbled out of the toilet stall.
He looked in the mirror and saw that his eyes were red and puffy. His knuckles were throbbing but all he could focus on was his aching heart. He splashed his face with cold water, dabbing his eyes with some toilet paper.
He all but ran out of school, doing his best to avoid bumping into anyone and it was only when the building was out of sight did he slow down. The last time he felt this lost and broken was when his dad left and never looked back again. He was conflicted then, a mixture of relief and sadness. Relief that he would no longer have to walk on eggshells in his home for fear of provoking another beating but sad that his daddy didn't care enough about him to keep in touch or see what kind of man he would turn out to be. Well, no doubt he would be proud to discover that he was just as much a scumbag as his father had been. The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree.
The bus stop was empty, as was to be expected in the middle of the day. Most people were either working or in school. He had neither. No steady job, no real prospects. What would a girl as talented and bright as Brittany ever get from being with him? A bruised face and a damaged soul?
Santiago waited patiently for his bus; he had one destination in mind but was in no rush to get there. He just needed to be on his own and that was the best place he knew how. He boarded the bus without so much as looking at the driver and took a seat at the back. He was one of three people on it and the silence was palpable.
Soon enough the bus arrived at his stop and he hopped off, walking the rest of the way. He approached the old train yard and memories of his date with Brittany hit him hard in the chest. Fuck, everything was a mess. Not only had he gotten kicked out of school, but he probably got Brittany kicked off the Cheerios. It was obvious that they were more than just friends, let alone acquaintances. Quinn's face said everything he needed to know; she was well aware of the nature of his relationship with Brittany and she would gain plenty of pleasure in carrying out the promise she made to him of demoting Brittany to failed cheerleader.
He climbed into the abandoned train carriage and lay down, resting his head on his school bag.
He cried as he remembered the times he sat there as a kid and imagined getting out of Lima, making a life for himself, meeting a girl that he could treat with every ounce of respect and love his mother never received from his father. He cried as he thought of Kurt and how he would become a prime target of the bullies in school without him around to keep them in check. He hiccupped as he imagined the look on his mom's face when he returned home. He wept uncontrollably as he realized he was the worst thing that could have happened to Brittany and so he made a decision to cut her out of his life. It was for the best. He knew that for sure.