As we stood there frozen in the moment Daigle knocked on the door and quickly snapped us back to where we were. He's stood there with an awkward look on his face as Peeta opened the door. "Daigle! Sorry, I didn't know you were coming by. What do you need?" He asked, pretending nothing had happened. Daigle didn't look up to make eye contact but simply said he had forgotten something in the bakery the day before and needed to pick it up. Peeta and I stood separately but looking at each other, trying not to blush too much as Daigle ran to the back of the store and ran back outside, with a quick "thank you", all while not making eye contact.
Peeta reached out for my hand and the box he had put the items into and we walked outside into the light rain. As he turned to lock the door I stood there impatiently, wanting to kiss him again, but not wanting to maul him while his arms were full. We walked back to the house and changed out of our wet clothes. Despite this newfound change in our relation we still felt awkward changing in front of each other so we took our turns, like we usually did at night, changing in the bathroom while the other talked and waited in the bedroom. We went downstairs and set a fire to warm up the downstairs. We knew Haymitch, Sae and Sadie would be coming here after they visited with people at Sae's house so we tried to make it comfortable for them.
Peeta began making some bread and I stood, leaning against the counter, watching him work. He kept looking up at me and smiling and I blushed every time he did. "What?" he asked after about the fifth time of looking at me smiling at him. "Nothing, I just like looking at you make bread. You're very focused," I said, trying to muster up a very serious tone and failing miserably. He gave a light laugh and pulled me over to him, "Not when you're around," as he gave me a long kiss, putting his flour covered arms around my waist. As we stood there kissing against the counter Haymitch, Sae and Sadie came through the door.
"Oh!" Haymitch began as he backed out of the door. "No, Haymitch, come in," Peeta started as his lips broke away from mine. Will we not have a moment to ourselves? He stood there with an arm around my waist as he motioned for them all to come inside. The mood was dampened a bit so we both walked to sit with all of them in the living room. "How are you all feeling," Peeta asked delicately. They were quiet for a moment until Sae spoke up with a slight smile behind her blood-shot eyes. "Not as good as you are, apparently, but we're all right."
We all tried not to laugh at her comment but the four adults in the room couldn't help it. "It was bound to happen sooner or later," Sae said with a smile escaping her lips. Haymitch interrupted, "Honestly, I thought I would have caught on sooner, but" I interrupted him, "It's really a new development. As in brand new." "I don't really want to hear about it," he laughed, holding his hands up, "As long as I'm not responsible for keeping you two alive, I'm okay with whatever you do in your private life."
Peeta stood up and headed back to the kitchen to continue his bread. "I'm making dinner tonight. What are you all in the mood for?" Sae's smile dropped and she simply shrugged. Haymitch gave a slight smile and sat back on the couch, taking a flask out from his damp coat pocket. The little girl played with one of the toys she had left and I simply said whatever. Realizing I wasn't much help sitting there with them I went over to Peeta and offered to help. He had me cut up several vegetables and some rabbit meat I had leftover and we fixed a hearty stew.
As we sat down for dinner, we ate silently as Peeta and I glanced at each other randomly, smiling. Sae didn't eat too much and Haymitch drank more than he ate. After a little while Peeta began asking about who had visited after the funeral and Sae went through a long list of names. With certain names Peeta would stop to ask how the particular person had been, in an effort to try and lighten the mood. At the end of the meal we sat around the table while Sadie went back to play with her toys. Sae began coming up with an excuse to leave but Peeta cut her off. "Sae, I'm really so so sorry. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel right now. Is there anything else we can do for you?" "No child," she said, smiling and patting his hand. "We'll just head on home and pick up the pieces," she sighed. "Will that be difficult for you?" I asked, trying to show concern. Her face dropped and she looked down at the ground. "Probably. The only memories I have in that home are with Jem. It's not the one we raised our children in; it's just one they built for us after the war. But it will be okay," she smiled, her eyes returning to mine.
"Sae, would you like to move?" Peeta asked. Her eyes looked at him in confusion, "Where would I ever have the money to do that? It's just me and the girl now. I'm too old to work much outside of my home."
"Would you like to move here, to Victor's Village?" Peeta and I both froze as the words escaped Haymitch's mouth. "I know I'm not much to speak of when it comes to kin. But you are the closest I've got," he finished. Sae was taken back, as evidenced by the look on her face, but she began to stammer a few words out, "well... yes… I suppose that would be nice…" There was a sense of hesitancy in her voice as she answered. "I promise I'd try to keep it clean," he said.
As Peeta and I sat back to watch this arrangement transpire he took my hand in his and smiled. "And you would be next door to us," he continued, as if this was a big bargaining piece for her. She smiled to herself and let out a small laugh as she shook her head. "I don't know what guilt made you all feel you needed to be kind to me, but it's okay," she said before I cut her off. "Sae, we'd love to have you here. Besides, that way when Peeta can't cook I can at least have a good resource to turn to so I don't burn everything." She laughed and nodded at this idea.
Before they left that evening it was decided that that weekend we would move Sae and Sadie into Haymitch's house. After they left we couldn't help but ask Haymitch, "Where did that come from? You can barely live with yourself, much less anyone else." Haymitch put on a defensive face and said, "She's the closest thing I have to family and she and that little girl need someone. I can take care of more than geese, you know." And with that he left the house, stumbling a little from having had too much to drink.
We laughed and headed up to bed. As we went through our regular nightly routine we were both still laughing at the idea of Sae and Sadie living with Haymitch. How would that work out? Sure he was in the honeymoon stages of getting a family again, but Sae wasn't a woman to be bossed around and Haymitch didn't like taking orders from anyone. As we settled under the covers we continued creating mock scenarios that would inevitably take place in this new household and couldn't help but laugh as we imagined Haymitch's and Sae's responses. As our laughter died down we turned to face each other and simply smiled. Today had been quite a day. Peeta propped himself up on his elbow he pulled me in closely and undid my braid. As he ran his fingers through my hair he looked at me lovingly and with a laugh in his voice said, "I'd never start a fight with you about cleaning. I know you'd win. You fight scrappy. Plus you're usually right." I shot him my dirtiest look and we both laughed. He grabbed me and pulled me in closely for a kiss and for once we were able to enjoy the moment without being interrupted. When we eventually broke away I laid my head on his chest and fell asleep to him running his fingers through my hair.
The next few months flew by quickly. We helped Sae move into Haymitch's, Peeta began training a few more of his bakery students to run the bakery and since I no longer had to make sure Haymitch wasn't passed out in his own filth, I was able to spend more time in the woods. Within a few hours of Sae's arrival at Haymitch we could hear them arguing, but for the most part things seemed to run smoothly. Deep down you could tell Haymitch enjoyed his new housemates. In particular, he enjoyed his new pet, Sadie. He didn't drink quite as much and instead tried to be aware whenever she came to him.
"If Haymitch can be that loving to a child anyone can," Peeta said as he walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. The question hit me a bit in the gut and I was reminded of Peeta's desire for a family. I still hadn't accepted that. By accepted that, it meant that one of two things would have to happen; either Peeta would have to move on and find a woman who wanted children or I would need to cave and have children with him. I shuddered at the first idea but the second idea also struck me with fear. Since we were nowhere near ready for marriage though I brushed Peeta comment off lightly and smiled, nodding in agreement.
Things were going well between Peeta and me. In the evenings, before Peeta came home, Sae would help teach me how to cook basic things; venison, rabbit stew, and other things. I have to admit that they weren't the best, but at least Haymitch didn't have to drink a shot of whiskey and Sadie didn't throw the food on the ground for Buttercup. After they left Peeta and I would do dishes and head upstairs to spend time in the comfort of our bed talking and making out. Every night I fell asleep, listening to his heartbeat. The frequency of my nightmares went down although they did still happen. Peeta wasn't in the clear either when it came to his flashbacks.
One evening as he was coming out of the bathroom, drying wet hair he stopped drying and left the towel over his face. Thinking he was goofing around as he usually did I went over to tease him as I went to swap rooms with him. But as I reached up to move the towel and tease him with a whisper he gripped my wrist tightly. For a moment I didn't know what was going on until the towel dropped to the ground and I saw his eyes. Thinking quickly, I grabbed his other wrist and pushed him into the frame of the door.
"Peeta, whatever you're seeing is not real." As he grabbed my wrist tightly I lost a grip of his and he grabbed both of my wrist tightly while staring, menacingly, into my eyes. He pushed me to the bed and knelt above me as he grew more and more ferocious. I was unprepared. But as he raised his hand to hit me I screamed, "Peeta! Stop! It's not real. I love you! It's not real!" as the words left my mouth the grip around my wrist loosened, the hand that was raised to strike me lowered, and he dropped on the bed beside me. As I sat up I looked at him. His eyes were clenched tightly and his knuckles were white as he struggled inside of his own skin. I grabbed his shoulders and called to him, "Peeta, Peeta, please open your eyes. You're okay. It was a hijacked memory. You're okay. I'm okay."
As he opened his eyes, he looked at me in sadness and lowered his gaze to my hand that was touching his. "Katniss, I'm so sorry," he started. "Peeta, stop it right now. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me." Although my wrists were red it didn't hurt. I lay down beside a now sweaty Peeta and rubbed his arm. "We're okay. You and I. We're both a little… damaged… but we're okay." He laughed when I said the word damaged and sat up to take his shirt off. It had been a while since I had seen him without a shirt and this time I couldn't help but stare. He laughed a little as he noticed me looking at him. "What?" He asked. I just smiled and we moved into our normal sleeping position. His skin felt warm against my cheek and I turned my face to kiss him right below his collar bone before turning my face up to meet his lips.