Joss Carter was pissed. She was pissed that she was once again one of John's cases, and she was pissed that she still had no idea how he got his information. She was pissed that he didn't trust her enough to tell her where the information came from. She was pissed that his overprotective ass would be all over her until the case was solved.
But she was really pissed that she was in love John Reese.
Carter was not the type of woman to fall for the naughty guys, she was the type of woman who threw them in jail. Even as a teen, she was more likely to lust after the choirboys than the bad boys.
But Reese was an intriguing mix of the two. He broke more laws before lunch on any given day than most crooks broke their entire lives, but he did it for the right reason, to save lives. He would snap a man's neck one minute and then save a kitten the next. He risked his own neck daily for complete strangers, and thought nothing of it.
It didn't hurt that he was six feet two inches of pure drool-worthy gorgeousness. If Joss had any doubts there was a God and he loved the world, one look at John Reese sent those doubts packing. When Joss had seen him walking towards her with baby Leila in her carrier, she thought her ovaries would explode with the sexiness of it all. Every time the burner phone he gave her buzzed, her stomach would do flip flops and her heart would do a happy dance. She did her best to hide her feelings from him and she suspected that she was doing a pretty good job of it.
Joss had been called a goody-two shoes her entire life, but she wore it as a badge of honor. However for the first time in her life, she wished it were in her nature to be a little bit bad, for then she might have a chance with the gorgeous vigilante.
But Carter knew it was hopeless for her. She was a useful asset, nothing more to John. Despite his unrelenting flirting, he didn't even call her by her first name, despite the fact that she called him by his. She was Carter the cop to him, not Jocelyn the woman and her heart hurt a bit at that thought.
She slouched in the passenger seat of the police sedan, arms crossed over her chest, trying to put the thoughts of the sexist vigilante since the invention of the Bat Signal out of her mind. But, as usual when she tried to evict him from her mind, he was stubborn and wouldn't go.
"Joss, don't be mad at the Boss, he's just trying to keep you alive," Fusco said as he got into the car.
Joss grunted. "Yeah, I know, it's his job." The thought that John only cared about her because it was his job to do so stabbed her in the heart.
Fusco turned in the seat so he could look at her. "Do you really think that's all there is to it?"
"What else would there be?" Joss said sourly.
"If you want my opinion, I think he's sweet on you. If I talked to him the way you do, he'd kick my ass."
"Your proof is that he hasn't kicked my ass? That's pretty thin, Fusco." Joss knew she sounded like a sulky child, but she didn't care
"I seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, Carter, you are more than just a job to him."
"First Donnelly and now John, you think everyone is sweet on me." As IF! She thought to herself.
"Just those two, actually, and they both are. What a contrast, eh?"
"Drive Fusco. This conversation is over." Joss glared at him.
"Well excuse me for caring, Detective Carter." Fusco spat out the last two words like they were expletives. "For your information, some of us, including Suit and Glasses, care whether or not you live to see Taylor graduate. We are not trying to trash your precious independence, we are trying to keep you ALIVE."
"For your information, Detective Fusco," Carter snarled, using the exact same tone of voice he used when saying her name. "I've been through two tours of duty in a war zone and policing the streets of New York for over eight years, I'll be just fine."
"Carter, why can't you just accept the fact that you don't have to do this alone? That we got your back?"
"Letting people in hasn't worked out so well for me in the past," she snapped.
"We ain't those people, Carter." Fusco shot back. Carter just glared at him in return.
Fusco pressed his lips into a thin line in frustration. He realized that he was going to be stuck with a prickly Carter all day. He turned the key in the ignition and pulled out into traffic, heading back to the precinct.
Joss remained tense in the seat next to him, but she was carefully considering Fusco's words. What if Fusco was right and she wasn't just another job to John? What if he really cared about her? What if she did let him in? Joss looked out her window so Fusco would not see her eyes tear up. If only it was true, if only there was the possibility. But Joss knew better, she wasn't John's type. His Jessica had been a girlie girl; tall, blonde with the looks of a model. No one ever mistook Joss for a model, she was "one of the guys." She was a plodder, she couldn't soar with the ex-operative.
Carter had gotten to where she was in life by dogged determination and thorough attention to detail. Flying by the seat of her pants was alien to her and her feet were firmly planted on the earth. She secretly admired those who could soar with eagles, living by instinct and making decisions by the seat of their pants, and John Reese was the best she'd ever seen. He waltzed across skies with more grace in his lanky body than a panther. Despite the constant annoyance she displayed towards him, she wished she could dance up there with him.
But Joss knew that those who flew with eagles didn't pair off with earth-bound plodders, so the best she could hope was to be a valued colleague and possibly, some day, a friend.
She took a deep breath and gave herself a good mental kick in the pants. Time to go back to work and stop torturing herself with thoughts of unattainable CIA operatives.
Coming Monday: John dangles someone off a building :)