***Honestly I think "The diary of an ADHD kid" doesn't sound so bad as a title. It just kinda sorta sounds like a comedy... Maybe 'cause to "me" it sounds like "The Diary of a Wimpy kid" and that novel series' a comedy XD ***

Missing Girl

Today's a special day, so I wanted to meet on me and Rin's usual meeting place as quick as possible. On the last minute I excused myself from class and "went" to the toilet. Or so my math teacher thought. I can't believe I'm worked up for this special day. Today would be a big day for a certain someone; the eighteenth of July, is Rin's birthday. She couldn't stop talking about it, something I didn't really mind at first since there was a small chance of me "forgetting" her birthday. Or so I thought. I couldn't remember a day where Rin didn't talk about the big day. It's always "don't forget to bring me presents", "my dad will give me something special for sure so don't forget to bring me something" or "I'm not like most girls but I still have the same taste with most of them, don't forget about that when you pick my present." and even to the point where she said "If you don't bring me a present I'll kill you." Looking back on one of our first conversations, we were talking about our birthdays. And that happened months ago.

For I still value my life and I didn't want to die just yet, I made Rin a present. To be more precise, I "made" her a doll. It took me a few experiments and tries, but it turned up well. Rin didn't seem to like luxurious gifts, judging by how big her mansion was, how many servants she had, how big her garden was, she could buy pretty much anything judging from all the stories she told about herself and her home. It's a bit of dilemma. I couldn't buy stuffs anyway, so good, but then it took me quite a long time to think about making her something. Surely she would appreciate my blood, sweat, and tears making the cute thing for her, right? I called the doll "Rin", because... The model is Rin. In my perspective and point of view, it looked like her, just a little bit. The dress, the blond hair... Blue buttons as eyes in her face would stand out and wouldn't look so good so I replaced it with brown buttons instead. I wouldn't tell her she's the model unless she guessed it herself so. If I told her the doll was based from her, she might laughs at me or gets offended since it might look terrible in her eyes. Or she'd compliment me, but I doubted that, I'm a bit of a pessimist. If I keep my mouth shut about it at least, she won't laugh.

It took me days to make that since it was my first time. It'd be embarrassing to be caught making a doll for a girl in front of my roommates. I didn't care if my roommates and I never talk, I didn't want them to see me knitting! After everyone was asleep I'd sneak in the bathroom of our room, turn the lights on, and knit body parts per body parts carefully. I couldn't sew in break time because I'd always be with Rin by the time and I wanted it to be a surprise. She knew she was getting a surprise from me, so...

I looked at my doll one more time, my Rin doll. What do girls do with dolls anyway? I came up with the idea of a doll since lots of girls seem to play with dolls. Since I could only do handiwork, I thought about drawing a portrait of Rin, but then... What would she do with it? I wanted her to... use my gift, so it wouldn't be left alone in the dark like that until her next birthday. All in all, a doll should be fine, I think. Who else was I supposed to ask when it comes to girlie things?

But today, she didn't come.

She was late, at first I thought of that. After about ten minutes, I was expecting she'd climb up the wall any minute now and take me by surprise, but she's never came. Did she have another party to attend? She did say she had to go to lots of parties. But, no, she told me she'd visit me because I promised her a surprise. A birthday party, huh... It's possible she was spending some time with other people. I tried not to look at the bitter side of things and waited just a while longer. Oh, wait a minute, I'm a pessimist... I always look at the bad side of things.

She abandoned me, the thought filled my mind.

I waited and waited, the summer heat was really getting to me, even though I was at the "back" part of the academy, and I was "protected" from the sun thanks to the academy's building, I still felt hot. I waited a bit longer... Still no sign of Rin anywhere. Maybe she really was out in a party. It's understandable since she's the birthday girl; even though I'm her friend she had the obligation to stay and entertain the guests. I wondered if she's happy on her own birthday party if that's the case. She didn't seem like she liked parties very much.

Probably.

I don't know.

It bothered me a little bit; how the only person who I could call a friend is Rin. If Rin ever leaves me, she'd be fine since she -probably- has lots of friends (why wouldn't she has lots of friends? She's a fun person to talk to, friendly, pretty, active, and so forth), I on the other hand would have no one else. Now that I know how happy I am to be with someone, I didn't want to go back to being alone again. Nothing annoys me more than this. Why do I need to think about friendship and loneliness? I'll see Rin again tomorrow, it's not like she's going to stop seeing me after ignoring me for one day.

I sure hope so.

Ms. Avanna wanted to see me again. I'm not saying "again" because it's my second time being here, it's because she'd asked to see me four times the past two weeks. She wouldn't even tell me why she wants to see me; when I enter her office she'd tell me to sit down and tell her "stories", what happened in class, lessons, those trivial things. Why would she do that? I've never seen her ask the other students, what makes me so special in her eyes? Lying about me having no problem (that's the first thing she asks. Always) left bad taste in my mouth, because it's been three weeks or so since Rin's birthday by now... And she never came to visit. Not even once. I skipped one period after lunch break just to wait, and that happened in more than one occasion.

Whatever the reason is, I couldn't see her. I don't know her address, her parents' name and job, which way she goes after jumping off the wall from the school, heck, I don't even know her family name. Not being able to see her made me a bit scared... That everything that had happened in the past few months was just a dream. Maybe all this time I was talking to a ghost... or zombie since she has body (which was so heavy). As if Rin didn't exist... No. I've decided already, today was a Sunday and I decided to look for her. Just after I talk to Ms. Avanna.

"Come in." Ms. Avanna the psychic told me to come in before I could knock on the door. She gave me a smile, and I sat right in front of her desk; just like the past two weeks. "You're dressed neatly now, are you going anywhere?"

"Nowhere in particular." Which is true because I've no idea where Rin was.

"I see... But you're going to leave the school grounds, right? You do know students in the primary section need a teacher's permission to leave, hn?" No one would notice me gone, so I didn't bother looking for an excuse. It's a big school after all; no one would ever notice one student out, and I'm practically invisible. I stayed quiet and played with my tie, my head looking down. "Can I ask you a question, Len?"

"If I answer can I leave?" She chuckled hearing my answer. It's not that I was in a hurry, it was still ten in the morning, it's just that... Being in the room with Ms. Avanna, having that kind of conversation, it made me a little nervous that's all. She was holding me there as if I was guilty of something. Or if I have some sort of mental problem.

Something made me think that both were correct, the guilty and mental problem theory I mean. Just for a second though. Now, to see which one Ms. Avanna was thinking...

"I usually see you at the back of the school yard alone. Usually you'd just stare in to space, or doodle in your notebook, and you'd always carry a little doll whenever you go there. Why do you do that? I feel like you look lost whenever you're there." I was surprised that Ms. Avanna knew my not-so-secret place. Since she'd never seen Rin, I guess she recently just realized that.

"I go there because I want to."

"I'm sure you have a reason for going there, and you can tell me."

The guilty theory it was.

"Why do I need to tell you?" She frowned at me; maybe I was being a little rude.

"Fine, you can go." Ms. Avanna gave me a sad smile before I rushed to the door before a second thought. It really wasn't like me to be as cold but seeing Ms. Avanna on a weekly kind of basis... It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I didn't think I have a problem, besides the disappearance of my only (possible) friend. Sure I have difficulty focusing in conversations, but I'm sure many people have that problem.

Mental problem? I don't have any!

10: 20 AM

I wasn't sure where to go. I left the academy and somehow my feet brought me to the market. Heaven knows why and how I ended up there, it gave me a chance to think though, and it made me realize how I didn't really think everything through. How was I supposed to find Rin? Ask a random stranger on the street and ask "have you seen a ten year old girl, her name's Rin, short blonde hair, turquoise eyes, this tall, just around the area?" with that sort of description, there are probably thousands of ten year old girls with short blonde hair! I could draw her; it'd act like some sort of photograph. Unfortunately my drawing skills weren't as good. Life drawing had always been my weakness.

There's just no way I could find her!

I sighed and looked to my left and right. I wanted to do something; I didn't want to sit all alone doing nothing. I wanted to know where Rin was, why she never visits anymore, lots of questions. All of my guesses I've made so far for her "disappearance" were... either she moved, sick or dead. I need to find her fast before my head explodes with all these thoughts bubbling up my head.

My first move was the candy store. Maybe Rin visited one of the stores before, it's possible isn't it? I entered the candy store, and saw a few of my classmates around. The market wasn't really far from the academy, and I've heard of my classmates chat about that 'particular' candy store. So I ran up the counter, a part of me somehow felt anxious.

"Excuse me, sir?" The old friendly looking man put the newspaper he was reading away and greeted me. "I, uh... I'm wondering if a girl, ten years old, short blonde hair... I'm wondering if she ever shops here, her name is Rin."

"A little girl named Rin..." He rubbed his chin; the man didn't look like he was concentrating very hard to remember. "I've seen lots of kids enter and leave the candy shop every day, so I can't say I've seen her around."

"Is that so..." He must've noticed my disappointment, and he gave me a piece of gum, orange flavored, as an attempt to cheer me up.

"I hope you'll find your little friend soon."

5:45 PM

The candy shop, the tailor shop, the toy store, the bakery store, I've visited all of them and still no sign of Rin. I sat down on a park bench, still chewing the gum the kind candy shop owner gave me. I'll find Rin eventually; it's just a matter of time. Even if I have to visit all the large houses and mansions in the area, I'll do it. I don't want to be alone. I might be making one big of a problem from a small trivial matter, but I... I wonder why I'm so worried.

"Your curfew is almost up." I heard someone whispered to my ear. A little bit startled, I turned around to see Ms. Avanna staring right at me. "What are you doing here so late, Len?"

"Nothing. And it's none of your business!" Maybe it was just me being all stressed since I couldn't find Rin anywhere, my legs were tired, and my brain couldn't stop thinking of dark thoughts of what's going on with Rin. What if she was kidnapped during her party? What if our friendship was just a prank? What if she was walking down a construction building when a worker accidentally dropped a brick and hit Rin in the head really bad and she forgot everything about me? What if her parents knew she was visiting the academy all the time and forbid her to visit me again? What if she died?

'Brain... Please, stop.' I said to my self.

"You're looking for someone."

"How long have you been following me?" And I thought I was the weird one there, was she really following me? I didn't notice that at all. She was following me, and for what? Why couldn't she follow some other kid? Why me?

"I wasn't following you, I saw you for a second in the bakery shop. Turns out we meet again here in the park." Of course, maybe that's what she wanted me to think, you can never be too careful. "I just want to remind you about your curfew, as a teacher that's one of my many jobs."

Maybe it's time to call it a day for now, I have next week to look for Rin, and maybe I'll start looking around the residential area or somewhere along the lines. Or maybe, while I wait for another week, Rin would finally show up in our usual meeting place.

"Len?" She called out to me. Oh, I was lost in thoughts again... I wonder if I'll keep doing this until I'm an adult. It doesn't really bother me, this little spacing out routine, but it seems to bother other people a lot.

"I'm getting back to the dorm." I stood up from my bench and walked away. Too afraid to look back, I was curious if she was still standing there, looking at me. She really was one weird teacher. There's nothing wrong with me, I don't talk to people, and so what?

"Who's this person you're looking for?" She caught up with me and before long we were walking side by side. It was impossible to lose her there; we both had the same destination in mind. Damn.

"A friend who I haven't seen for a while." It won't hurt telling her what I've been doing the past few hours, which flew by faster than I expected to be honest. I'm sure if I didn't tell her then, she'd ask me another day.

"Did you see the police yet?" With all honesty I was too embarrassed to tell her the reason why I didn't want to go there. I'm not sure if she's even missing! I was just worried... Why Rin left me like that. Being left alone is scary.

"I just don't want to go there."

"Well, maybe if you have a picture of her or something we can figure out where she is right now. Unlike you, I can leave the academy more than you can as a student." She patted me on the head like I'm some sort of puppy.

"But why?" I stopped walking, which she later did as well. She gave me a look of confusion, as if it was only natural for her to be helping me like that. "You're the school's counselor, I get that! But must you really nose in to every student's problem?"

"Ah." Ms. Avanna wrapped both her arms on her chest. Great. I didn't even know why I snapped earlier there, now I'm sure my name's written on her naughty boy list. It was an accident, I swear! It just slipped through my mouth a little bit, so...

"I'm sorry." She patted my head again, and I caught a glimpse of pity as she sighed.

"You must be really worried of your little friend there." We continued walking afterwards. I couldn't come up with anything at all; there was nothing to say to her. She did say she wanted to help me find Rin though. Should I accept her seemingly innocent helping hand? I put both my hands in my pocket. What was holding me back from trusting her? What was holding me back from trusting anyone, really?

"Will you really help me find Rin?" She turned to me, smiling.

"So her name is Rin." Maybe she was just the type of person... Who loves helping people. "Why don't you tell me more about this Rin?"

"She's just someone I've been seeing for a while, a friend of mine." I'm confident enough she'd call me to her office again.

"So she stopped seeing you? She's not really missing now is she?"

"I never said she was." And thank god I didn't say that out loud... Did I? " Maybe I'm over thinking things, though I really do want to see her again. I'm afraid if I don't do anything and stay where I am..." My life would just go on without my good friend Rin with me. I couldn't bring myself to finish my own sentence there for some reason.

"That's really nice of you, Len." I'm not sure how many times she'd pat me on the head, either way the more she pats me like that, the harder it seems to get. And the messier my hair is too.

"What's nice?"

"How you care about that friend of yours, that's cute." My cheeks felt red and I knew I must be blushing because of that. How embarrassing... "I'll help you find her. Just give me as much detail as you can about this Rin, okay?"