Even after all my preparation and anticipation, I never dreamed my plan would be working this perfectly. I just had to stay one step ahead of Katherine, of Elijah, and of Klaus, and we all might make it out of this alive. With Katherine out of the way, I was safe until the masquerade ball.
Regardless of my success, my nerves were still shot. I was too wired to sleep, and I began pacing around the room that I had claimed in the boardinghouse. The room was closest to Damon's, but I pretended to want it for its excellent views. My anxiety made me regret not going with my past self to see Caroline, but I could tell from Elena's noticeable coldness, that I was the last person she wanted to spend the evening with. She and Stefan apparently got in a heated argument about me and Damon's moment earlier. I saw her storm out of Stefan's room, and before I knew it she was talking Caroline into staging a jail break from the hospital. Her relationship woes were apparently in need of some serious best friend time. Caroline was all for it, since she found the hospital depressing and alarmingly full of sick people. Secretly I thought she just wanted an excuse to get out in time for the carnival, but I kept my opinions to myself.
I headed downstairs on a mission to find some tea to calm my nerves, but when my search proved fruitless, I trudged back upstairs. Instead of returning to my room, I followed the light coming from under Damon's door. Despite the late hour, he was obviously still awake. As I debated whether or not to knock, I heard Damon's cocky voice from behind the door, "if you keep lurking outside my bedroom, I'm going to start thinking I have a secret stalker."
I opened the door to see him smiling smugly at me. I missed our witty banter. "Your vampire senses might make secretly stalking you a little difficult," I replied with a smile.
Damon was still in a playful mood, and he seemed determined to see how far he could push me. "I know you find me irresistible, but I have had a very tiring day. I'm not sure if I have the strength to properly tend to your desires tonight. But if you bed is truly so lonely, I suppose I could summon the energy. It would be ungentlemanly of me to refuse a lady in need" he jokingly teased me. It was in this moment that I realized Damon's lack of clothing. All that separated me from Damon's naked glory was a pair of black boxers that left far too little to the imagination.
I decided that I would call his bluff. Before Damon could object, I climbed onto his bed and straddled him. My hands started to wander all over his chest. Damon's eyes were the size of saucers, and his breath was coming in short pants. I whispered in his ear, "You forget Damon. I am nothing like proper little Elena in this time. I might just take you up on your offer if you push me too far."
Damon flipped me over and pinned my arms over my head. "You are one evil woman. My brother is just down the hallway sleeping, and you and I are already in hot water. If he wakes up to the sounds of your moaning, he might just decide to kill me once and for all. I for one do not have a death wish. There is far too much in my future worth living for," he stated while gazing into my eyes. Damon released me and moved back over to his side of the bed. His enjoyment of our little back and forth died down, and I could see something was troubling him. He tried several times before he could find the words, "your friends don't understand why you're suddenly treating me differently, and if I'm being honest, I don't know if I do. A few weeks ago, you were calling me a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities. Now, you're crawling on top of me and telling me how much you care about me. What changed," he asked timidly?
I don't know if I have an answer for him. How could I explain to him what I could never explain to myself? For him this change was fast, but for me it all happened so gradually. I was half in love with him before I realized anything between us had changed. "Life, circumstances, they all changed. This thing with Klaus put me in life or death danger almost every day. You were there to protect me without question or hesitation. Klaus may be a heartless bastard, but he taught me who I could rely on and more importantly who I couldn't," I explained.
"You're talking about Stefan right? That's why you hate him? He let you down," Damon guessed?
"I don't hate Stefan. I just can't forgive him," I corrected.
"What could Saint Stefan have done that Elena Gilbert can't forgive? He nearly killed an innocent girl at a party where he was supposed to be your date, and you forgave him. What did he do that was so bad," Damon questioned?
"He made a choice, a selfish choice, and it cost me dearly. A part of me knows that it wasn't his fault, that he didn't know what would happen, and that he would gladly have died a thousand deaths to take it back, but I could never let it go. That day, that awful day, still haunts my nightmares, and every time I see his face, I judge him for causing me so much pain. He later told me that he wished that he had died that day, because he knew that I couldn't hate his ghost," I admitted sadly.
"You're doing that thing again where you're being cryptic and not telling me the whole story. So can you at least answer me one question," he asked exasperated?
"Of course, I figure I owe you that much," I replied more than a little worried about what he wanted to know.
"You said at the hospital that you never got a chance to tell me how you felt because it was too late. Something happened to me didn't it, something bad," Damon inquired?
This was just the conversation I had wanted to avoid, but I promised him one honest answer, "yes."
"That's why we weren't together when you left the future, because I died," he asked?
"It was one of the reasons," I answered.
"Was the other Stefan," Damon questioned?
"Yes, but not for the reason that you think. Stefan and I were long since over. He had left Mystic Falls to save your life, and he came back a different person. He left me to save you, and I will always love him for that, but the guilt of what he'd done was consuming him. He chose to turn it off rather than fight through it for me. My love wasn't worth accepting his guilt. Stefan never thought he was good enough for me after that, so he tried to destroy whatever feelings that I still had for him. It took me a long time to get over that. I spent so much time pushing you away that by the time I told you how I felt it was too late. You and I weren't together because you decided that you couldn't hurt Stefan by being with me. You said that I was right, and that in the end nothing was more important than the bond of family. Ironic isn't it? You spent 145 years trying to make him miserable, and when you finally had the chance to truly destroy him, you couldn't do it," I finish with a sad smile.
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm glad that you told me what happened, but it doesn't solve our bigger problem. Last time I checked, your current self is in love with Stefan. How were you planning for us to be together if you change the events that led you to abandon Stefan and fall for me," Damon asked?
"Simple really, the flaw in my relationship with Stefan wasn't Klaus. It was his belief that he wasn't good enough. If he starts to believe that I am better off without him, he will sabotage our relationship himself. You will wait in the wings to be your fabulous, wonderful self, and be there for me when everything falls apart. Eventually I will start falling for you, and with me whispering in her ear, it should be easy to push you both together," I finished explaining my flawless plan.
"Far be it for me to be the morality police, but isn't this just a bit manipulative. Can you really do this to Stefan, I mean you did love the guy once" Damon asked?
He was right of course. This whole plan fell in a major moral grey area, but I kept telling myself that it was what was best for all three of us in the end. "My plan is entirely manipulative, and that is why you will not be doing any manipulating. I will. It might not sound like it, but I do care about Stefan. I already have a plan to make sure that he is happy. It just won't be with me," I explained.
"I'm not sure how I feel about any of this, but I do trust you, so I need to trust that you are doing the right thing," Damon said.
Just as I am about to leave, I hear Damon's phone ring. He answers it and a horrified look crosses his face. He doesn't need to say a word for me to know that something has gone horribly wrong. "Elena, there's been an accident. The other Elena was out with Caroline and there was a drunk driver. Caroline's side took the brunt of the impact, and she was pronounced dead at the scene until she miraculously regained consciousness a minute later. My blood was still in her system. Caroline's in transition," Damon claimed. This can't be happening. I did everything right. I protected Caroline from Katherine, but it happened all the same. My friend was once again a vampire.