Chapter 13: Fan Mail

The week wore on with nothing but scenes from Wednesday night playing in Sarah's head. No matter how she replayed it, she would always go back to that little kiss. What was he thinking? That day started out with a bad letter and ended with a peck that would complicate everything. Sarah lay awake in the early hours of Monday morning wondering what she was going to do. What would she say when she came face to face with him. Sarah lay in bed for hours waiting for sleep to come but it never did. She was just too wrapped up in her thoughts and the itch in her throat wasn't helping either.

Getting out of the warmth of her bed Sarah placed her feet on the cold wood floor and walked into her kitchen to make a cup of tea to soothe her irritated throat. While she placed the kettle on the stove she hopped on top of the counter and waited for the water to heat.

She had tried hard not to think about that night. Whether she wanted to or not the memories would always creep up on her. She even had dreams about it. But in her dreams it was never just a kiss it was more than that. It was his hands on her caressing her skin, and his lips trailing kiss on every inch of her body. Every night the dreams became more erotic but they always ended the same way; with Jade bursting in the room on a rampage of how they had both betrayed her. Sarah would say that the guilt was weighing heavy on her. Although she could hold her own she didn't want that kind of confrontation. But really what guilt was there? She didn't take part in the kiss that was all on him. Or so she thought, it was in the back of her head that she wanted it, she wanted that kiss that was supposed to happen in the photo booth. The one thing she couldn't wrap her head around was if she wanted it so badly then why did she push him away?

Before Sarah could reflect further on the subject the sound of the tea kettle broke her away. Turning off the burner she pulled an oversized tea cup from the cupboard and began to make her tea adding a tea bag, a little bit of honey, and three drops of lemon. She took her tea to the table and mindlessly began to swirl the tea bag around in her cup just watching the brown dilute the clear water. The itch in her throat began to amplify, as her senses inhaled the steam from the cup. Bringing the cup to her lips the tea course through her throat soothing the uncomfortable ache, that's when she noticed it.

Purple.

The cup she held in her hands was purple. That one question that started it all well not exactly, other things had led to that little kiss but she was pretty sure that one inquiry and that stupid game started the chain reaction of questions that led to a certain someone's lips on hers.

On the night of said kiss she came up to her flat without uttering a word to him. Taking one step at a time she thought of how everything was going to change. That awkwardness would consume them both; she didn't want that to happen. She loved her job working for him was really the best thing that could have happened to her. He treated her as his equal, and now, well, now he would probably have to fire her before the tension built up between them. Then what was she going to do? She didn't want to go back home.

After she had come up to her apartment she peered out her window and saw him pacing the sidewalk, going up the stone steps and coming back down. She sat on her patio in total darkness just watching him wondering what was going through his head. Guilt settled in her stomach as Jade invaded her thoughts, Tom would tell her and when he did shit was sure to hit the fan. Little kiss or not there was so much more to think about.

'I think I have feelings for you'

Those words made her head hurt, but at the same time her stomach felt like there were a million monarchs causing a ruckus deep inside the pit of her belly with the flutter of their wings. She didn't know whether what he said was sincere or if it was simply a cover up for his experimental kiss. Whatever it was she knew things shouldn't be taken lightly. Sarah wouldn't play this game with him. She knew what it was like to have the one she loved falling in love with another woman. Although she barely knew Jade, Sarah couldn't break that unspoken trust.

After drinking the rest of her tea, Sarah rinsed out her cup and set it down in the dishwasher. She turned out the lights and slowly made her way back to her room and into bed. Before sleep over took her she decided she was no longer going to fret over such events anymore she would rather have him in her life as a friend than to end up without him due to his so called feelings for her. She vowed to let him know where she stood in this frenzy. For now she would sleep and in a couple of hours she would see him again.

Tom paced around his room waiting for Sarah to show up. It was rounding on eleven-thirty and she still had yet to show up or call. He wanted to see her badly since that night. He even went as far as driving to her flat twice in one day only to turn around and come back home. The day after their outing Jade had pinned him with a number of questions about where he had been. While he said he would be honest with her and he was, he said he had been out having lunch with a friend going to a fun fair which surprisingly ended their conversation at that. He was so wrapped up in the events with Sarah that he hadn't noticed that Jade hadn't called him since then.

For the past few days he had thought about what he would say to Sarah when he saw her. Tom opted on apologizing to her for his crass move. Although he felt it wasn't worth apologizing for because that kiss was most certainly something he wanted to do. He wanted to kiss her again but this time instead of some measly little peck he would make it a full on kiss. It would be a kiss that went straight to the soul and ignited fire in their hearts. Yes, that was what he was planning on doing. Well he had hoped on it but things weren't that simple and he had to come to terms with that. Nothing about their situation was simple. He liked her more than a friend but he was also with and in love with Jade. He knew the pick was easy but he couldn't help that deep down an unforeseen emotion for Sarah existed. You couldn't be in love with two people at the same time could you?

Tom's thoughts were interrupted when he heard the ring to his phone go off. It was her ringtone. Tom tapped on the screen to view the text that read:

'Over slept, be there soon.'

It was short but all he needed to know, at about an hour after she had sent the text she finally graced him with her presence. Tom quickly sat on the couch and began to look through the magazine on the coffee table. When he heard her step into the foyer and close the door he broke away from his sham reading and looked over his shoulder. She wore a grey French hoodie, with a plain white tee and jeans. She looked stunning with a simple pony tail and no makeup on. Although upon his observation he noted she looked a little ashen compared to her usual honey glow.

"Good Morning" He said getting up from the couch. "Or rather good afternoon." He smiled.

Tom's face fell to a look of concern as she cleared her throat and spoke.

"I'm sorry I was late. I couldn't sleep last night and—

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." he asked coming a little closer to her. The sound of her voice was a little low and raspy.

"Yes, I'm fine" she answered quickly. She raised a green duffle bag and said "I picked up your fan mail so I'm just going to sort that out in the dining room. Let me know if you need anything."

Before he could say anymore to her she was already in the other room. Tom stood in the foyer contemplating on whether he should go in there and talk to her or just simply go about his day. No, he needed to talk to her now. Tom made way towards the dining room, pushing the swinging door slowly he saw that she was sitting at the end of the table facing the door but was too busy to notice that he was looking at her.

He studied her incessantly watching her movements as she swept her bangs to the side to keep them out of her line of sight. Every few seconds she would lick her lips or let out yawn. All her concentration was on sorting out fan mail, watching her do this made her seem as if she didn't have a care in the world which was one of things he liked about her. She could make doing the simplest things seem exceptional without little effort. As she flipped through the stacks of mail she was whispering in a sing song voice but he could hardly make out the words she was humming.

Tom decided to make his presence known and walked into the room and waved at her as she looked up. She put her music on pause and gave him a half smile.

"Did you need something?" she asked as Tom came to sit adjacent to her on the other side of the table.

"Do you need any help?" That was good he was going to start slow then work up the courage to talk about their kiss. Or peck.

Sarah thought for a moment before deciding to let him join her that for which he was grateful for. He just wanted to be close to her.

"Alright so how do I go about doing this?" he said with his hands clasped on the table.

"Look at the post mark and put it in the pile that matches the date." She said placing a letter on a pile marked September 21st. Tom looked all around the table and found there were hot pink post-its marked with different dates with stacks of letters place just above them. He looked down at the bag sitting on the floor beside her which contained more letters.

"Why are there so many letters?" he asked

"I haven't been able to check the fan mail box in the last two weeks what with planning the party and…other such things." Tom noticed the cringe she gave as she said this. He had a feeling she was trying to avoid any subject that would lead to "the talk." He would find a way to talk to her about it. They needed to talk about it.

Tom took a hand full of mail and began to sort them out. Every once in a while Sarah would let a tune escape her lips, but nothing else was said between them.

After sorting out the fan mail Tom asked "why sort them out by date? There just going to get thrown together with the other mail?"

"Well for one you have to read all of these." Sarah waved her hands over the mail as if presenting it on a silver platter." And second you have to read ALL of these! Third wouldn't you rather read them in the order they came that way you can read them all and get pictures out to the people that sent there letters to you first."

Tom smirked and said "Alright I get it first come first serve. So I have to read all of these? Says who?"

"Come on Thomas we both know that your ego is so big that you can't deny yourself from reading about how much people love you." she leered.

"Well, I can't help it if people want to write good things about Me." he joked

Sarah began to retort but her voice was strained and she began to cough. It was a nasty cough coming from the back of her throat. The cough concerned him much. He got up from his chair and walked out of the dining room.

Once Sarah got her coughing under control she yelled "Thanks. It's not like I was choking or anything." She picked up a letter from the first pile that had little glitter hearts on it and began to read. The letter was from a sixteen year old girl professing her love for Tom and how she hoped that someday they would marry. Sarah smiled at the words she read on the letter thinking it was cute how girls took their imaginations to a whole different level even at such a young age. She remembered her celebrity crushes and how the posters on her wall would change from one teenage heartthrob to another in hopes that she too would marry them someday.

Being the fast reader she was she had gone through six other letters by the time Tom had come back into the dining room. She was in mid letter when she heard him come through the swinging door carrying two coffee cups.

He held out one of the cups to her and she gladly took it. "Thanks" she said. Taking a sip from the cup she felt the walls of her windpipe relax. At least she was in a place where they always had tea. She put the cup down on the table and noticed Tom staring at her intently from the corner of her eye.

"These are some good reads." said Sarah holding up the little pile of open letters.

He took the letters from her hand and began to read them whilst Sarah began to read the other letters. The one she had picked up from the pile was thick with beautiful writing on the envelope. Sarah ripped the side of the envelope and dumped the contents onto the table. Photos dropped face down on the table along with the letter. Picking up the letter she began to read: this girl wrote that she had written to Tom to wish him a happy birthday and that she has watched all the Harry Potter films, read all the books, and went on to explain how Tom was the Draco she always imagined in her head and noted that she sleeps with her cardboard Draco every night and if he wanted demonstration of how she accomplishes this he should look at the photos she sent. Sarah looked at the face down photos wondering if she should flip them over, curiosity got the best of her and she flipped them over…

"Oh my god!" she said aloud slapping the picture face down on to the table. Sarah put her head down and began to laugh.

Sarah's sudden outburst startled Tom causing him to thrash the letters he was reading everywhere. He looked at Sarah as her shoulders shook concerned that she had gone mental on him.

"What is it?" he asked

She said nothing but kept laughing.

"Will you get a hold of yourself and tell me why you're laughing!" he asked a little perturbed at her sudden outburst.

With her head still down and hiding in the crook of her arm she took her other hand and with one finger expelled the pictures on the table toward Tom. Tom hesitantly picked up the pictures. When his eyes set on the offending photos he said "Oh wow." He was at a loss for words.

"I know right?" Sarah said through giggles.

As Tom quickly glanced at all three of the pictures he couldn't help but laugh too. What was thought to be a letter from a teenage girl turned out to be from a woman who looked to be in fifties that had sent pictures of herself doing provocative poses with a cardboard Draco. She was doing things he didn't know could be done with a piece of cardboard. He felt sorry for his stationary self.

"Well she's very talented." He said looking at the last picture. "See!"

Tom held the picture in front of Sarah's face which was very revealing.

"Gross Thomas!" she laughed and pushed his hand and the offending picture away from her sight."You know she kinda looks like Marla the waitress."

Tom observed the picture a little more as he compared faces with the waitress at the diner they went to the morning after his party and the picture in his hand. "I believe your right she does look like dear sweet Marla." He put the picture down and said "You have to admit that was a very bold move."

"Are you going to send her your own pictures? I'm sure she would like that." Sarah said with a sly smile.

"And have them all over the web. I don't think so." He laughed "I feel like I've been violated just by looking at those pictures.

Sarah grabbed the photos from his grasp and said "I'm going to go shred these while you continue to read. I'll also bring your stock photos and some envelopes.

"Don't forget markers!" he said as she walked out the door.

Once she stepped out of the dining room she made her way to his study which was just a spare room a little ways away from his game room (that was the condos actual office room). The room was small with mahogany furniture around the room. The room was so elegantly put together it looked way beyond Tom's taste. Even though she had only known Tom for mere few months she knew that he was more laid back than people assumed he was. He would rather just work at the dining room table than be stuck in a tiny furnished office. Tom told her that Jade had put it together a month after they had finished unpacking.

Sarah walked past the cherry wood desk accidently knocking over a picture frame set on the corner of the desk. She picked up the picture and noticed it was one of Tom and Jade. In the picture Tom and Jade appeared to be sleeping with Jade nuzzled up to the side of his face smiling. They truly looked like they were meant to be together. How could she mess with that? How could he ruin that happiness for himself?

Sarah flipped the picture back on its stand and picked stuck the pictures in the shredder. She felt a chill down her back sensing there was a pair of eyes on her. She simply turned and made contact with ocean blue eyes as her suspicions were confirmed it was him. Going back to the task at hand she began to dig through desk drawers when she said "Do you need something Thomas?"

The door creaked open and he stepped inside closing the door behind him. Sarah tried to remain calm but her breathing hitched a little.

"I think we should talk." He said.

Sarah could either walk out and say no or address the matter head on. She wasn't a coward so walking out was hardly an option. "Okay."

She set her stance behind the desk as he sat on a leather chair in front of the desk.

"I just want to start out by saying you really are a great friend. If I've complicated things for you in any way I'm sorry for that was not my true intent. The things I feel for you are a bit complex."

"Thomas, you're feelings are complex because you don't really know me. If you did, believe me you wouldn't doubt liking me more than a friend because you would see all the flaws I have."

"How would you know I wouldn't feel the same way about you? Everyone has flaws. Since day one I have had some kind of feelings toward you. There's something about you that lures me to you…

"There isn't. You're just looking for a little fun Thomas. You're bored of your relationship with Jade and you just want me to fill that void. " Sarah pulled out the rolling chair and sat down. She needed to convince him that she wasn't right for him.

Tom had thought that was true at some point he thought that maybe it was just a little crush but now he was sure that what he felt for her was true.

Tom swallowed hard and decided to come out with it. "Sarah…I'm…in…

"Please Thomas don't." Sarah stood from the chair almost knocking it over in her haste and made her way to the door. He was fast and caught her arm before she could set it on the knob. His loose grip let her pull her arm back.

"Why not? I want to tell you how I feel about you." He said taking a step closer to her only to have her take a step back. "I want to tell you how I think about you each day." Tom held her gaze waiting for her to respond when she didn't he continued to talk. "That kiss I gave you last week wasn't just a fluke I did it because I wanted to because in that moment I felt something for you. To this day I still have that same feeling for you. I want more than just a friendship with you."

Sarah didn't know what to say. Why did he have to tell her this? She tried to wrap her head around the words he was saying. She really didn't know how to respond to such claims. How could she tell him she harbored the same feelings for him? She couldn't and she wouldn't. Lying seemed like the answer.

"Tom, I don't see you that way." In an instant she saw the hurt in his eyes but she had to do it if she still wanted him in her life. She had to do it to keep him from making a big mistake.

Tom stepped towards her, she didn't move. He brought his hand up to her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. Her eyes focused on his, it felt as if he could see straight through her and he could. Three words told her so.

"That's a lie."

Sarah felt glued to the spot. Was he really going to try it again? Was she going to let him? Keeping a hold on her face he moved in close. He could smell the sweet scent of her body wash emitting from her supple skin.

The nearer he got the more she could feel his hot breathe roam over her chest. Her eyes came to a close and she waited for the anticipated kiss. The kiss that day at the fair wasn't going to compare to the one he was going to give her now she was sure of it. Both mouths were waiting for the interlock to happen only to find that they wouldn't be meeting this time.

Tom came to a halt as a bell rung throughout the penthouse and the sound of Jade telling him to open the door could be heard even through two closed doors. He rested his forehead on Sarah's with both eyes closed.

Sarah broke away from him and rushed out of the room and back into the dining room. Tom composed himself and went to open the door to let Jade in.

"It's about time." She said pushing him aside so she could come through the door. "What were you doing?"

"Sorry I was taking a nap." He could only hope he didn't look flushed.

Jade gave him a sensual kiss on the lips as did he. It had been a long week and he hadn't realized how much he missed her. As they ended their tongue tying kiss Sarah retreated from the dining room with her belongings in hand.

"Hello Jade." She said with a smile.

Jade set focus on Sarah with a look of surprise "Oh hi, what are you doing here?"

"I was just doing my job dropping off fan mail and such." Sarah said as if it was the most obvious thing for her to do in fact it was, everyday it was the same thing.

"oh right sorry I—"

"I was just leaving I'm not feeling too well." In all honesty Sarah wasn't feeling well at the moment, everything Tom had confided to her was sending a rush of blood to her head and she just needed to get away.

"That's too bad. Please take all the time you need. We won't need you for awhile." Said Jade with a lofty expression.

Sarah was slightly taken a back at Jades not so settle words but didn't let it show in her own facial expression. She could only wonder whither Jade knew about her and Toms mishap.

"Okay then I'll be going."Sarah made her way to the foyer and out the door. Sarah waited in the small lobby waiting for the elevator to come up to the top floor. When the sliding doors opened up to allow her admittance she felt a hand on her shoulder. Sarah turned to face the individual knowing full well who it was.

"Sarah please, you don't have to leave." said Tom.

"I kind of think I have to, I believe Jade wants your undivided attention, so you should probably go back in there."

"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked

Sarah thought about it for a moment. Although she did want to see him, she really didn't want to talk anymore about what was and what wasn't going on between them. One perk was that she really wasn't feeling so wonderful at the moment so in all sincerity if she said no then she wouldn't have to feel bad about it. So she shrugged her shoulders and said "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I'm getting all this time off at the request of Jade. Frankly I'm not sure whose orders I follow, so I'm going to follow my own." Sarah pressed the down button again and waited for the doors to open again.

"Forget all that Jade said."

The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside and came to face Tom. "Tell me something Thomas that PDA you just had with Jade was that a lie?"

As the doors began to close he stopped them with both hands prying the doors open before they shut completely. "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah sighed in frustration. Was it really that hard to understand what she meant? "I meant if you're affection is real with Jade then why would you want to give that up?"

Tom let his arms fall from the doors, letting them close and stared at the ground. He had thought about that and every time he did he would always come to the same answer. I don't know. Deep in his heart he did know but wasn't sure if he could face that one little fact. The fact being that he loved them both.

Check out a new story that I might continue "Off To The Races" and let me know what you think!

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