This was an interesting chapter to write. Let me know what you think! Thanks for the reviews!

The next morning we went back to the woods. As we passed the meadow I couldn't help but look down. Although I meant what I had said about building a house there, I didn't want Peeta to think I was ready to rush forward and do it soon. He squeezed my hand as we walked past it and smiled at me; I returned his smile and kept walking cautiously along the road. We made our way and Peeta asked if I wanted to return to the lake or go elsewhere. The only other place I could think of going was the boulder where Gale and I often met up and relaxed together. But I shook my head. The idea seemed strange and I didn't want to bring Peeta there. So I suggested we return to our spot from the day before.

We set up camp on the large rock but this time Peeta had brought swimsuits for both of us. Although I wouldn't be able to swim like before, I could sit in the water and enjoy its cool feel on my body. We took turns changing behind a set of trees and eventually made our way to the shallow end of the lake. Although it wasn't especially deep on its perimeter, there was one side which was shallower than the others and thus I felt more comfortable there. As we sat down, the cool water sent goose bumps up my entire body and I shivered at the exhilarating feeling.

"Is it too cold?" Peeta asked when I shivered.

I shook my head no and smiled. "No, it's perfect," I said as I began to lie in the water.

He lay beside me and we listened as the wind blew through the trees. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. Going back to our regular routine tomorrow would be difficult but yesterday and today had been a wonderful pick me up to counteract the depression I had been in recently. Peeta stood up, hovering over me to shade my face from the sun.

"I'm going to go swim. Not far, just close. Let me know if you need anything," he said before wading into the water, about waist deep.

I lay down and covered my eyes as I listened to the sound of the moving water as well as the regular sounds of the woods. Luckily, the day was particularly warm so while the water was cool and the breeze was strong, they were welcome. I heard the water stop moving and quickly sat up; afraid Peeta was too confident in his abilities and lost himself beneath the water. I was quickly calmed when he appeared, moments later, several yards away. He saw my concern and smile and waved, reassuring me he was okay before wading towards me.

"Do you want to come in? You can just float and I'll make sure you're steady," he suggested.

The idea sounded too good to pass up as my body was craving more water, so I nodded and he helped me stand up. We began to walk in the water and the resistance was painful on my ankle so Peeta picked me up and carried me out until he was about waist deep.

"You ready?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be like this," I sighed.

I clumsily turned so that I was on my back. Peeta held out his hands until he could tell I was stable enough and then scooted away a few feet so that he was treading water. Luckily his motions weren't too strong and I only rocked a little.

"So about that house in the meadows," Peeta began. "When you say we should build a house there, you mean a house for us, right?"

I had to think of how to answer. "Yes… But… Not right away…" I didn't want to crush his hopes.

"Fair enough," he said nonchalantly.

I was surprised by how unchanged his tone seemed. "You're okay with that?" I asked, turning my head slightly towards him.

"Sure, why not? You said you didn't want to rush into anything, so we won't. You get to steer the ship now. I won't push you," he said unfazed.

I was a bit thrown off and turned to concentrate on staying stable and afloat without doing much to my ankle. I get to steer the ship? What was that supposed to mean? Was I in charge of advancing the relationship? I wasn't sure of how well I felt about that. While I was lost in thought of what steering the ship meant, I didn't notice Peeta near me. I jerked at the sight of him and got into a standing position before I became aware and landed on my foot with the healing ankle. I screamed a foul word following my landing and Peeta quickly picked me up.

"Are you okay? Did you hurt your foot again? What happened?" he shot out, question following question.

I bit my lip and tried to get the words out. "I landed on my ankle. I'm fine, it just hurt like hell."

He picked me up and carried me out of the water, sitting me at the edge where I had been before. He felt my ankle and after realizing I was indeed okay, he picked me up again and carried me to the rock where our things were spread out.

"I knew I shouldn't have egged you into going in the water," he said under his breath.

"Peeta, it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm fine. I promise," I reassured him.

We sat there for a moment before I reached for our bag and pulled out our lunch.

"Lunch?" I said cheerfully, trying to change the subject.

"Sure," he sullenly replied.

I realized that now would be a good time to try and cheer him up like he usually did for me when I was in a down mood and made my best attempt.

"So, about the tent. When are we going to go camping?" I asked.

"Whenever you want. Whenever you feel up to it." He suggested calmly.

"How about next weekend? My ankle should feel better by then if I don't freak out like I just did," I said with a wink and smile in his direction.

He let out a small laugh and smiled in my direction. "I am sorry," he said.

"I know. And it's not your fault either. Don't worry," I said, brushing off his apology.

"You just looked very concentrated while you were floating there on the water. What were you thinking about?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing, I was just focusing on not losing my position," I said, obviously lying.

He gave me a very skeptical look.

"Fine, I wasn't. I just didn't understand what you meant when you said I get to steer the ship now?" I said, in a conceding tone.

"Katniss, I understand if you don't want to rush into things, but I don't want to be a source of frustration because you think I'm going too fast. So I'm handing you the reins. You can make the calls for when you're ready to go to the next level."

His voice had a sense of tight frustration in it and I couldn't help but clench my jaw a little. Even though I know he didn't mean it like that, it almost felt like he was going to sit back and let me screw up the relationship.

"And what is the next level I should be working towards?" I said defensively.

He looked at me with a bit of disbelief, "Look, I don't mean to upset you. I don't. I just don't want to push you faster than you're ready to go. If it was left up to me, we'd be getting married soon. But I'm not going to push you into a marriage you don't want. It would only make you miserable," he said as his voice grew softer. "I grew up in a home with a miserable marriage. I don't want to repeat that."

I suddenly felt guilty for reminding him of those memories. I wouldn't be miserable married to Peeta. I wasn't like his mother. Was I? I couldn't help but have the idea planted in my mind and I suddenly disliked everything around me. Was I a mean woman like she was? Would I regret Peeta and hate him? I was brought back to reality when Peeta rested a hand on my shoulder and saw him staring at me. As I looked into his eyes there was a range of emotions.

"I don't want to be like her," I said.

A painful expression came across his face. "Katniss, you aren't like her. She wasn't as miserable as some thought, but you are still a much different woman than my mother was. She was defeated early on and instead of fighting it she lashed out at those around her."

"But I do that!" I cried, trying not to let tears come to my eyes.

"No, you're not," he said as he scooted closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder.

I didn't believe him entirely, but since I only interacted with her a handful of times in my life versus his daily contact, I took his word at it.

"Peeta," I began a few silent moments later, "I don't want you to be miserable. I know I won't be miserable if I'm married to you. I don't want you to think I would be. I just need time. I'm still adjusting to my new life," I trailed off.

"So am I Katniss!" Peeta pleaded. "We can do it together! I honestly don't see why marriage would freak you out so much. We're practically married as it is. Shoot, to most of Panem they think we already are. What would change except for the obvious?"

I honestly couldn't answer his question. What would change other than a legal document saying we were married and the physical aspect of our relationship? I sat there under the gaze of Peeta's pleading eyes and my mind began to race. I didn't want to get married for same reasons I didn't want to have children. Something Plutarch had said stuck in my mind. That added with the recent assassination attempt on the president illustrated how unstable the country was. I didn't want to risk a permanent attachment if it was going to be ripped away from me. That plus I didn't want to fail at it. I didn't want to be the prime target for anyone trying to overthrow the current government because they would definitely go after Peeta and any potential children we would have. And even if that didn't happen, I didn't want to fail him and a wife and any child who would have to call me mom.

"I just don't want to fail and I don't want to lose," I finally said.

"Why would either happen?" Peeta pried.

The words took some prying and patience on Peeta's part, but I finally explained my fears to the best of my ability. Upon finishing I felt drained and laid down on the rock, covering my eyes to shield me from the sun and also Peeta's look.

"Katniss," he began as he laid down next to me, "do you trust me?"

"Well yes, of course I do."

"Then let me prove to you that you won't fail."