Goodness, this chapter felt like a blast from the past since I'm pretty sure my mom and I had a similar conversation a few years ago. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

I was thrown off my guard and quite honestly didn't have a good comeback so I sat there silently thinking over what Peeta had just said.

"You don't have to make a decision right now," he said, as though he could hear my stomach jump into my throat a few moments earlier.

"O-okay." I said as he stood up.

Peeta held his hand out to me and helped me stand. We brushed off our swimsuits and grabbed the empty containers we had packed out lunch into. He helped me down the rock and we took turns behind the tree changing back into our regular clothes. When I came from behind the tree, he reached out for my hand and helped me hobble back home.

That evening I took a long bath while Peeta made dinner. My ankle was tired from the day and I wanted to think, undisturbed, about my realization and Peeta's attestation from earlier. As I lay there in the tub a train of thoughts tore through my mind quickly and in rapid succession. Why couldn't I just accept the fact that Peeta and I were going to be married and go forward with it? Would I be miserable if I rushed into it? Why would I even consider children? Would I be a horrible mother? I was terribly awkward around kids except for Sadie and she didn't count. Why couldn't I just move forward with life?

Many of the people my age had moved on. If they weren't married they were thinking about it. And if they weren't, like Gale, they had thrown themselves so strongly into the causes they worked around that they didn't have time for marriage. I wasn't married and I had no strong cause to devote my time to. Was I being selfish by not wanting to get married yet? Peeta was involved and he wanted to get married. I honestly couldn't ask for a better husband. But I didn't feel ready yet. A pit slowly grew in my stomach as I unsuccessfully tried to find the answer for why I didn't want to get married. The only thing I could think of was foolish. I wanted freedom.

It wasn't foolish that I wanted freedom. I think that is essential to a successful marriage. And I highly doubted that Peeta wanted to keep me chained up or dependent upon him. I just didn't want to feel tied down, in addition to my fear of being a bad wife and mother and Snow's supporters taking away my family. But I felt selfish at the idea of not being tied down. Peeta could have gone anywhere else in Panem, but instead he came back to 12 where I was. Whether out of love or simply because he couldn't pick another place, he came here even though he wasn't exiled like I was. He stayed with me when I had horrible nightmares and wanted to die.

I wrestled with my thoughts as the warm water around me began to grow cold. I turned the hot water on and drained the tub as I stood for a shower. I heard a knock on the door.

"I doubt you're that dirty to need a bath AND a shower, Katniss," Peeta chuckled through the door. "Besides, dinner is ready whenever you are."

"I'll be out in a few minutes. I didn't rinse the soap off," I called back.

No, if Peeta and I were to marry, I would be lucky. But I couldn't hide my desire for freedom from him. But what if Snow's supporters came back into power? The questions began to race through my head and finally in an attempt to stop them I rinsed off and got out of the shower as I tried to quickly dry off and get dressed.

I met Peeta downstairs and was greeted by a large stack of pancakes, eggs, and juice.

"Breakfast for dinner," Peeta explained without my asking.

I enjoyed breakfast, especially when Peeta made it. I pushed the thoughts from earlier out of my head and sat down, hungrily eying the plates of food. We ate quickly and eventually Peeta and I made our way to the couch where he propped my feet up on his lap.

We sat there, fat and happy, and enjoying the quiet. One of my questions from earlier slowly crept back in and before I could stop myself I couldn't help but ask Peeta for the answer.

"Why did you come back to 12? I mean, after everything, why did you come back?" I asked, hoping none of my other questions would escape.

He turned to me and shrugged, "Because."

"But you could've gone anywhere else. Any other district could use your baking skills," I suggested.

"Well, because it's my home. I mean, I guess I hoped, somewhere in the back of my mind, that my family was here. But even when they weren't, Haymitch was here. You were here. The two of you became my family during everything that had happened with the Games and the Capitol. Besides, it's not like I completely forgot how I felt about you. I thought I would try to see what happened," he said as he began to blush a little.

I broke eye contact with him and looked down, smiling to myself. That night, due to exhaustion and the late hour at which we went to bed, we fell asleep quickly. I awoke the next morning with a note from Peeta on the nightstand.

I'll be back around noon. Breakfast is downstairs. –Peeta

As I finished the note I slowly sat up and woke the rest of my body up. My ankle was incredibly tired so I decided to stay in bed until my stomach began to grumble. As I lay there I couldn't stop the thoughts from my bath yesterday to creep back in. I was unsettled by the feeling and headed downstairs. Although I couldn't think of a good answer, I thought of a few people who might be able to help me out. I sat on the stool by the kitchen and grabbed the phone.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Everdeen."

"Hi Mom, it's Katniss."

"Katniss! How are you? I heard you broke your ankle! How are you healing? Do you need any medicine? Any help? Are Peeta and Sae taking care of you?"

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. The cast's off and Peeta is taking very good care of me."

We chatted for a little bit about her job and how Vick had been doing with the business since I wasn't there to help. We eventually grew quiet and my mom was about to hang up before I stopped her.

"Mom, I called for a reason." I piped up. It took a lot out of me.

"Oh? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I began, "I just… I had a question."

"About what?"

"Marriage."

"Oh?" she asked. You could hear her breath leave her body. "What about marriage?"

It was obvious forming the question was almost as difficult for her as the previous question had been for me.

"Mom, did you lose your independence when you got married?"

"No, not at all. If anything, I felt freer because of it," she said firmly, regaining her voice.

"But you never felt like you were tied down?"

"No. I mean, maybe a little when you and your sister came into the picture. But your father was always so helpful. And he encouraged me to keep doing the things I loved. Besides, having you both only made me happier," she said. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," I began hesitantly, "Peeta…" I trailed off, not knowing where to start.

"Are you two engaged?" my mother almost squeeled into the phone.

"No, no, no. Not yet at least. He wants to be but…"

"Katniss, you shouldn't rush into it. I was lucky. Your father was the best man I knew. I loved him and couldn't imagine a life without him, despite the difficulties we had. But don't rush into it just because he wants to."

"He's not pushing me into it. I just am worried about it. I don't want to lose my freedom. And what if I'm a terrible wife? And what if.."

She cut me off before I could continue, "Katniss, no one is every ready. Even if they think they are, they aren't. Marriage is like a trial by fire, except it's not a trial; at least, hopefully not. People have ideas, but it never really is how you imagine it to be."

The words gave me a little peace of mind but I couldn't help but bring up my last concern.

"Mom, what if something happens? What if the rebellion isn't over and they do something to Peeta to get to me? What if they take him from me again?"

She became quiet. "Katniss, our situations were different. My husband worked in a mine every day of his adult life until the day he didn't come home. In the back of my mind I always worried that something would happen, but always blew it off. But if I knew he would be gone after only 17 years together, I still wouldn't have missed out on the life I had with him. Every single day I'm grateful that I had him with me. Does it hurt? Incredibly so. But I don't regret it."

I thanked her softly and she ended the call; she had a patient waiting for her.

"But I love you and trust you with whatever you choose," she said.

The words warmed me and I hung up. I sat there thinking about what she said and while I was afraid, I felt a sense of quiet confidence overcome me. I looked around and noticed the muffins not far away from me and reached over to grab one. I eventually went back upstairs to change and came downstairs to relax on the couch.

Not more than an hour later Peeta came through the door. He smiled and returned his smile. He knelt down in front of me and we began my exercises. They were not enjoyable, but I kept reminding myself that the better of a patient I was, the quicker I could feel better. Eventually the torture session was over and we relaxed on the couch.

"How was your morning?" he asked as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Good, I spoke with my mom." I mentioned.

"Oh? How's she doing?" he asked, curiously.

"She's doing well. Busy with work. You know, same as usual."

He smiled and stood, holding a hand out for me to grab while he helped me stand up. We grabbed my bag and began heading out of the door. As we walked towards the bakery hand in hand, I looked up to notice a few people looking at us. I stared ahead, trying not to make eye contact with them. We made it to the bakery and the shop was busy. I began to let Peeta head back to work, but because there were no open tables, he dragged a stool to the back, in the hallway between the bakery and the cash register, so I could look into either area easily.

I sat on my perch and watched as Peeta and his employees buzzed around the bakery for a good hour. When it finally began to calm down Peeta brought out large glasses of water for everyone and they stood around me as they caught their breath. The rest of the day was busy, but not as much as earlier so I sat and observed quietly the rest of the day. For the first time in a few days my head felt clear. Not numb, not giddy, but calm and clear.

We headed home and I helped Peeta prepare dinner. Peeta began joking about something from that morning at the bakery and I laughed. When I didn't say much after a few more stories he turned to me and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you okay Katniss?" he asked with some concern in his eyes.

I nodded and smiled.

"What are you thinking about then?" he continued.

I laughed to myself and said under my breath "Full steam ahead!"