Hello all it has been a long while since my last update and I am sorry to have kept you waiting but here is Chapter 15 hope you all enjoy! Leave a review and let me know how I'm doing on this story good, bad, it would be much appreciated.

Chapter 15: Softcore Nights- Part 2

The sleep that came after such a grueling night felt good, aside from her sore throat and the warmth of her skin it was what she needed. Sarah rolled on to her belly moving her arms under her pillow, her head felt like it didn't hurt as bad as before so she decided on taking a chance at opening her eyes. Expecting to see the sun shining through her french doors she only saw pitch black. There was darkness all around the room except for the light that was closest to her line of sight. Rubbing at her eyes she let her vision slowly adjust to the neon blue glow of the clock on her night stand that read 12AM.

Sarah closed her eyes trying to recall the hours before. She knew she had woken up several times throughout the day and each time that she did (from what she could remember) things were different each time. From the feeling of wanting to die to the vomiting, she remembered that he was there. She slowly sat up wondering if he had left like she had told him too. From what she could make out as her eyes adjusted to the light her bedroom door was closed, and no glow of light came from underneath to indicate that someone was in the other room. Sarah turned on her bed side lamp and that was when she saw him. He lay on the floor right next to her side of the bed in a fetal position with his neatly folded jacket placed under his head. Sarah hung over the side of the bed and took in the sight of him. She couldn't believe he had stayed.

Studying his flawless features the sudden urge to touch him made her fingers tremble at the tips. His porcelain skin set off a glow inside her that spread through her body making her skin hotter than it was. Sarah couldn't help but let a small smile form on her face as she looked at the man lying on her floor. He had stayed when she told him to go. What did that mean? If she really didn't want him to stay why didn't she fight more to make him leave? Sarah didn't know what to think if anything she would blame her sudden sickness for messing with all logical thoughts.

Feeling like she could move on her own she stood over Tom and laid the blanket on top of him just like he had done with her. She had a small headache and her throat was sore but it was nothing compared to the way she felt earlier. She could only hope that the worst was over. Going over her symptoms it vaguely reminded her of when she had tonsillitis but combined with the vomiting, headache, and frail limbs it was probably the flu, it was probably best that she didn't touch him. Moving quietly so as to not wake Tom, she went into the kitchen and got a glass of water.

The touch of water eased her cotton mouth to moistness hydrating her body with the much needed fluid. After slowly downing several glasses of water she decided on taking a shower to ease her tired shower did a lot of good in easing her limbs as well as clearing her sinuses except now she was dealing with the sniffles on top of her other symptoms, although, she thought it was a small price to pay for such a relaxing shower. Sarah put on comfy clothes that consisted of a pair of shorts, her favorite t-shirt and black plush socks to keep her feet warm.

When she came out of the bathroom Tom was sitting on the bed facing the bathroom door. He gave her the cutest smile as he tousled his already messy hair from one side to the other. Sarah gave a hesitant smile to him as she wasn't expecting him to be awake just yet. Putting her clothes in the laundry basket she took a jacket from her closet to cover up with (the chills were returning again) and sat next to Tom on the bed.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked

Not knowing how her voice would sound she just shrugged her shoulders not really sure if she was feeling better. The chills lingered a little and her nose wasn't as stuffy so that was good. She could only guess that she felt better. The silence carried on for a little longer than it should have. Sarah stared down at her feet dangling a foot above the floor, cursing herself for wearing her black fluffy socks which were embroidered with little fat penguins. No matter how much she tried to ignore it she could feel his unrelenting stare on her.

When she entered the shower he stayed on the floor for a good fifteen minutes before he managed to get up and shake the kinks out of his body. The steam seeping from under the door clouded his senses with the smell of her soap. A sweet fruity scent filled the room and the only thing Tom could think about was her. Was it the scent of her shampoo or her body wash? What curves were hidden by the foggy glass doors that she stood behind. Throwing his head back he closed his eyes willing away the thoughts that would now be constantly on his sat on the bed and waited for her shower to end just staring at the bathroom door. The moment before he had woken up he felt her gaze over him, he could only wonder what she had been thinking in those moments her eyes fell over him. At one point he thought he felt something faint linger over his face but could only imagine what it could have been. Was it an unsure hand that hung in the air with the intent to touch? Whatever it might have been he only wished she hadn't backed out.

The bathroom door opened and there she was, her long dark hair gathered and hung on one side of her shoulder dripping with drops of scented water, her peaked complection now had a little tint of color, the dark circles that surrounded her eyes were now lightened and he assumed she was feeling better than she was before. She looked so beautiful in just her comfy clothes and fluffy would have never known that just hours ago she had been sitting on her bathroom floor gasping for air. She was truly a vision of beauty, the sight of her sent rapid beats to his heart and a breath caught in his throat. Unable to say a word to her he decided on smiling, getting one in return. Another tug came when she sat right next to him.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked

She gave a shrug of her shoulders. He wasn't sure what to say to that so he watched her as she looked down at her feet. Thinking back to the letter he could only wonder how someone with so much beauty inside and out could just keep her emotion bottled up. He could only think that that was just the kind of person she was. She was the type of person that would put other people before herself. Sarah was more caring and loving than anyone he had ever known and only wanted to be in everyone's good graces. She had principles to live up to, maybe that was why she wouldn't admit she felt the slightest bit of liking towards him. He wanted to change that. He would make everything about her.

"Thank You" she said in almost a whisper. "For staying with me…"

"I didn't mind." Tom took her hand in his and held it.

He was surprised when she didn't take it back. Tom observed her hand as he held it with ease; it was very feminine and soft and as silk, the palm of her hand fit perfectly against his and the wrap of her slender fingers were cool to the touch as they lay on the back of his hand. He observed her neatly trimmed nails and the tiny birthmark placed in the side of her index finger. Removing her hand from the entanglement of fingers he traced a faint line of veins from the back of her hand to her wrist. When his finger settled on her pulse point he felt how fast her heart was pumping. He knew what he was doing to her and he was glad that he did, it gave him hope that maybe she felt the same way that he did. Tom slowly brought his lips down to her wrist planting a feather light kiss over her vein and placed her hand back down beside her.

It was an intimate gesture but nothing too radical. He did what he felt like doing in the moment. If she had him leave he would but he would regret nothing. Tom turned his head and saw Sarah brushing light fingers over the spot of her wrist he had just kissed as she gnawed on her bottom lip contemplating a thought. They sat in silence once more neither of them speaking.

"Shouldn't you be with Jade?" she asked in the same whisper as before.

"Yes."

Sarah didn't know what to think about what he had just done. The way he held her hand as if it was a delicate piece of art made blood rush through her veins. That divine touch reached the depths of her being and she shivered. She was sure that he had noticed and that fact that he did made her feel lighter than air, until, she decided she shouldnt be aloud to feel such a way. It was midnight and here she was letting someone else's love kiss her wrist. She knew she was being a hypocrite. Just because someone did it to her didn't mean she had to be a harlot. Nope no matter how much she liked it, it wouldn't be enough for her to reconsider the we're "just friends and that's all I want to be" bit.

Tom could only wonder what was going on inside that head of hers. She was probably trying to figure out ways to tell him that she only wanted to be friends with him. As she stood from the bed and walked into the bathroom he couldnt help but scrutinize her retreating form from where he sat. He watched as she combed through her wet hair but it wasn't for long, she caught sight of him staring and closed the door.

After minutes she finally came out from the bathroom with her hair in a loose bun.

"I'm hungry." She stated before leaving the room and going into the kitchen. The sudden change in her attitude from thoughtful to happy confused him but he got up anyway to follow her to the kitchen.

"What would you like?" He asked

"I don't think I've ever seen you cook." She said turning to face him."Can you cook?"

"I can make a mean stack of pancakes …and toast." He said proud of the fact that he knew how to cook something.

After some much diliberation Sarah left Tom in the kitchen to work his magic while she grabbed a cup of orange juice and sat on the couch. In minutes the smell of pancakes filled the flat, the aroma sent a knowing hunger to Sarah's belly making it twinge with the urge to have food placed inside. It had been a full day since she had eaten and she was starved.

Tom placed a plate of pancakes on the breakfast bar, along with syrup and butter, as Sarah climbed up on the bar stool. He had decided to make her pancakes first and then some for himself this was his first attempt at putting her first and it was going well. Putting the batter in the pan he turned to face Sarah as she was placing a light amount of butter and syrup on her pancakes making sure that each cake got the same amount as the other. When she got to the top she let the syrup fall from the bottle down to the middle, letting the sweet, sticky amber flow down the sides like a waterfall.

"Save some for the rest of us." He laughed before turning to flip his pancake over.

"Ha…Ha" she said placing the bottle down and giving him a scathing look. She picked up her fork and took a bite. The taste was utter bliss. Never in her life had she taste such good pancakes. She was surprised she could taste anything at all but was grateful that she could or else she would have been really missing out on something.

Sarah kept an eye on Tom while she ate. His mannerisms were something to watch, the way he moved from cabinet to cabinet putting ingredients away like he had been living there for sometime made her stop mid bite. For those few moments she had wished that it was real. She wished that all the complications that stood in the way would be gone and they could live like this just her, him and their pancakes. The thought of this made her choke and she began to cough. She jumped off the stool and rushed into the bathroom. Tom stopped washing the cutlery and followed her to the bathroom. With his hand on the knob he tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Sarah?" he said into the door "Are you okay love?"

On the other side of the door Sarah sat in her bathtub trying to catch her breath. The minor panic attack took her by surprised, her breathing was coming in short, she tried to focus on slowing it down and taking deeper breaths. Having him call her love didn't help at all.

"Sarah please let me in."

Hugging her legs to her body she rocked back and forth with the stinging of tears at the corner of her eyes. Why was he here? Why couldn't he just leave her alone? If things were kept professional they wouldn't be here right now…he wouldn't be here. If he weren't here she wouldn't have realized the budding feelings she had for him had turned into something she really wanted.

"Open the door." said Tom as he slid down the door and onto the floor. He didn't know what had come over her but he hoped that she was alright. He hoped it wasn't the pancakes.

The grumble in Sarah's stomach let her know that what she ate wasn't enough. Being locked in the bathroom and sitting in an empty tub wouldn't bring her food. For her, no matter what kind of scenario she was in her stomach overruled every emotion she ever felt. How would she get her food without him invading her space? She was comfortable just sitting in the garden tub.

Getting up from the empty tub Sarah made her way to the door and opened it. Before she could step out there he was with one plate of half eaten pancakes in one hand and a full plate of pancakes in the other. Rolling her eyes she quickly took the plate in hopes that she could shut the door quickly enough so that he couldn't get in. She had again underestimated his fast reflexes as he wedged his foot between the door and frame. Sarah reluctantly let go of the door and went back to sit in the bathtub with her pancakes in hand and Tom following closely.

Tom sat on the floor with his back against the tub not facing Sarah. He wasn't sure what to do. If she wanted to talk she would. He wouldn't press her to tell him what had just happened he would just sit, eat his pancakes, and wait for her to speak. Even though he would wait for her, the sudden outburst undoubtedly left him reeling.

"This is kind of gross." She said through the soreness of her throat. When she said nothing else Tom narrowed his eyes at her for a moment. Thinking he thought she meant the pancakes she then said "I mean eating in the bathroom."

"Why are we eating in the bathroom?" he said turning back to his food and taking a bite.

"I'm comfortable." Sarah leaned out of the tub and put her plate (which was free of all syrup) on to the floor. She leaned back in the tub with her arms outstretched on each side and closed her eyes trying to free her mind of all thoughts but it was impossible. It seemed that everything they did was natural, the comfortable silence, making pancakes, eating in the bathroom. All of it just seemed like a natural thing for them to do. Was it only something familiar to them because they had been around each other so long that their movements seemed to flow with one another?

"What are we doing" she asked herself but had been heard by the spectacle sitting away from her.

"What?"

He had heard so she thought she might as well ask him. "What are we doing Thomas?"

"Eating pancakes in the bathroom." He said with a straight face as he turned to face her. Turning back he thought about the question, in all seriousness he knew what she meant when she asked. It was a question that would lead to a slew of other questions. He would answer any question she asked but the truth was he didn't know how to answer this one. What were they doing? He had come over the other afternoon to tell her that she had a date with some wanker set up by Jade only to have spent the night sleeping next to her and tending to her every need even though she had never asked him to help her.

"If only it were that simple…." She said letting out a sigh.

"What do want me to say? I can't help it if I have feelings for you!" Tom said suddenly feeling a bit angry. Why wouldn't she just accept it?

Sarah scoffed at his words and sat up from her comfortable position ready to voice her theory yet again. She had to get it through to him that it wasn't going to happen. It couldn't.

"You only think you feel something for me but I know how guys think. You think because you're not getting what you want from your own girlfriend you can get it from someone else. Tell me Thomas what's the first thing you notice about me when you see me walk through the door? Is it the size of my tits or my ass? What is it? You certainly don't know a thing about me! So it has to be one or the other! Or is it both?"

Tom listened to her rant and could only wonder why she would think he only noticed her body when that wasn't the case at all. Her personality was everything he had rarely seen in a person, it was witty, confidant, intelligent, caring, funny…most of all- loving. She was gorgeous but that was just a plus. Out of all the time he had spent talking to her for hours how could she think that he knew nothing about her? Maybe that was true but it was irrelevant. He would see past anything she had to tell him and wouldn't judge her. Nobody was perfect.

"Do you honestly think that low of me? Do you think that the first thing I thought when I saw you was 'oh it would nice to have a good bang with her without my girlfriend knowing'. I didn't plan on feeling the way I do about you it just happened. I know you feel the same way too even if you do deny it."

"That's bullshit because you know as well as I know that if something were to happen between us I would be the bad guy and you'd play victim. I know better than to do that to Jade. You should too. So please just stop lying to yourself about liking me!"

Tom had had it with her self-rightousness. "Im a liar Sarah? What about you? You've been lying to me as well.

Sarah folded her arms on her chest and said "Oh yeah how the hell did I lie to you?"

"I read your letter! You know what you should probably learn to stop running away from your problems and start facing them. Maybe if you hadn't lied I wouldn't have had to take you to the fair, I wouldn't have tried to kiss you and there wouldn't be all this tension between us!" he shouted

Through his rage he failed to notice that Sarah was now standing in front of him with a look set to kill. Tom had only seen that look from her months ago when she had told him not to touch her cinnamon roll she had put in the fridge for later. He didn't listen then so he knew what was coming now. Just as fast as he remembered, her open hand swung back and collided with his face. Sarah stormed out of the bathroom just as his cell began to ring. Tom pressed his hand to his cheek to ease the sting as he used the other to dig the phone from his pocket.

Not bothering to see who was calling he answered it.

"Hello"

"Good Morning my love."

It was Jade.

"Uh Good Morning" he said as he tried to sound nonchalant. "I didn't miss your flight did I?"

"No.I was actually just calling to see if you were going to make it out to the airport? Remember you promised."

"Of course." He said "If I promised you then I'm going to be there." Tom walked out of the bathroom and noticed the time on the clock it was nearly three in the morning. Even through all the sleep he had he felt like he hadn't had enough.

"Are you okay? You seem distracted."

"No. I mean I'm fine…I'm just trying to wake up is all but don't worry I'll be at the airport." Grabbing his jacket from the floor he slipped it on and walked out of the bedroom.

There was silence on the other line for a moment before she spoke again.

"Okay…I love you

As he crossed the threshold, he saw a Sarah lying on the couch hugging a pillow to her chest. He didn't bother to go any closer but just stood there. He had invaded her privacy and used it against her. He had hurt her by more or less saying he regretted being with her that day in the park. He was such a cad.

"Tom?" Jade said bringing his attention back to her.

"Sorry." He said keeping his eyes on Sarah as if she were to disappear inside the monstrous couch she was lying on. "I love you too. See you at the airport."

*Conversing In the Air*

The airport was crowded this early in the morning. Many people were cheery and excited to be going on holiday or sadden by the thought of going home. Then there were the others waiting impatiently to greet family or friends they hadn't seen in months or years. It was all nice but she could care less about whom or what they were waiting for what mattered to her was that he would make it. He would come see her off tell her that he would miss her and then kiss her passionately in a way that would urge her to hurry and come home so she could be in his arms once more. Not a damn thing went as she pictured.

Tom arrived only 15 minutes before Jade had to board her plane and he looked conspicuously caught up in his thoughts. The kiss he had given her was lacking the passion she had fantasized about. It was eager but unconvincing. He was there, he had made it in time to see her off, so what was it that made Jade's thoughts think of the worst.

Maybe it was the way she had mentioned there double date over the weekend or the way she had noticed his eyes go dense when Veronica had asked why his indolent assistant hadn't gotten him up early enough to say goodbye to Jade. She just couldn't pin point it to one thing.

An hour later sitting in first class on a plane to Paris she was looking out the window sifting through clouds trying to see the land below but it was no good. Jade craved attention from Tom since day one and now that all his attention had been preoccupied by someone else she didn't know what to do. She had done her best to make sure that there was no way for them to interact by telling Sarah that they would call her when they needed her but was that going to stop Tom from seeing her? Jade let out a big sigh as she knew it was useless to get overworked about a situation she couldn't do anything about miles away from home. She would just have to wait and see if anything would progress with the date she had set Sarah up with.

"Are you still thinking about Tom and that twat?" asked Veronica skimming pictures in a gossip magazine.

"What would you expect me to do? He's there with her and I'm on my way to do some charity 're hundreds of miles apart from each other I can only hope that he's being faithful."

"Jade, Tom is crazy about you and even if he was cheating on you believe me he'll realize his mistake and come crawling back to you when he realizes that slag assistant has nothing to offer him in the long run."

"I would rather not have him touch her Verde!" Jade shouted so loud that many of the other passengers stopped and looked her way. The thought of him and her touching and caressing each other made her jealous with rage.

"Jeez, Jade calm down no need to shout." Veronica put the magazine under her seat and turned her body fully to Jade. "Now we just need to think of something to do with her. You hired her so why can't you just fire her?

"I can't do that now. Their too close. Tom called her his friend and now I can't do anything about it without Tom thinking that I'm jealous."

"Well aren't you?"

NO!" again an onset of eyes looked in their direction. Lowering her voice to a whisper Jade continued "I don't get jealous that bitch will never be good enough for him I only have his best interest in mind and I-AM- that best interest. Tom is just blinded at the moment but he will see that I'm the one for him. That I've always been the one for him."

Okay Jade well whats your plan? You obviously have one if your thinking he's just gonna drop her in an instant."

"I won't know that its full proof until I get back on Saturday. I set her up on a date with someone that both Tom and I know…"Jade stopped mid sentence going over what she hoped would be a good way for Sarah to find someone else to take pity from instead of Tom but stopped in her thoughts not wanting to jinx the so called plan she had.

And?" asked Veronica athirst to hear more.

"I don't think i'll spill anymore details." Jade gave a sigh and turned to look out the small window."I just hope that whatever this phase he is going through will come to an end soon."

Everything was messed up. Everything was such a jumbled mess that he wasn't sure what to do. Jades distraught features were all he could see when she boarded the plane. He tried to focus on her and give all he had into his kisses but he knew they weren't enough. He couldn't help but think of Sarah and how he had hurt her with the asperity of his not only did he hurt one person but Jade as well with his urge to fixate on Sarah.

Tom needed someone to tell the situation to someone and the only person he could do that to lived an hour outside london. It was early in the morning but he didnt care his wingman surely wouldnt mind a nice wake up call from him.

Outside london in the courtyside of Surrey Tom drove to his family home to see his brother Chris. He needed advice on how to deal with his current situation. After giving his brother a nasty wake up call they sat out on the balcony looking out at the green countryside. Tom went over the details of the last few months from when he first met Sarah to the departure of Jade that morning.

Chris listened with little interruption with only the occasional nod of the head while he sipped his coffee. After Tom had finished with his tale of the past few months he hoped his brother understood his predicament and would be able to help him figure out what he needed to do.

"I'm falling hard for her and I dont know what the fuck to do" said Tom running his hands through his hair.

"You got yourself in quite a tiff don't you little brother?" Chris stood from the wicker chair and stretched his tired limbs. "When you're with the other girl do you feel like it's just a shag you want from her?

"No differently not...I mean of course I think of her that way she's gorgeous, but aside from that it was her personality that lured me in. She has the ability to be sweet one minute and the next she could be telling me off." Tom couldn't help the smile that formed on his face as he described Sarah because that was who she was." Sarah's one of a kind, she knows her music, put's others first and definitley has a healthy appetite. She's the real deal"

Chris watched his brothers features turn into a dream like state as he described the girl that caught his fancy. He had never seen his brother in such a trance.

"What about Jade?"

"Come on you know Jade she's the complete polar opposite. She can be charming and attentive but there's always some kind of price to pay. Whether it's with a new pair of shoes or something else it's never just of her own free will to be endearing to others."

"I don't see the problem, you know what you want so what's the big deal dump the bloody bint and go for the "real deal" as you put it."

"It may seem that easy but its not, Sarah's so considerate of others that she convinced herself she doesnt feel the same way just to save my relationship with Jade. On top of that Jade fixed her up on a blind date so how am I supposed to figure that out?"

Tom threw his hands in the air and let out a sigh of defeat.

"It is rather complicated isn't it little brother? You're in love with two girls and it isnt easy but you need to consider whether this thing you feel for the other girl is really love or pure lust. You know for sure that you love Jade, so why make things even more complicated by trying to get someone else to feel the same way about you? Knowing you I can see that your not too eager on giving up so just give it some time the other girl will come around" he said as he patted his brother on the back to ease his thoughts only to add "Just pray that she doesn't fall for this mystery prat or things are bound to get more bloody complicated than they already are."

He hadn't thought about that last bit.

Tom could no longer hold off going back to her flat. After spending half the day in Surrey getting some much needed sleep he decided it was now time to go back to London. After saying his goodbyes and making a promise to visit during reasonable hours he took the time he had to drive back to think about what he was going to say to Sarah. By the time he had reached her door step he had played ever scenerio that could happen in his head from another slap to the face to her not answering the door at all. Tom stood in front of her door wondering how he had got this far. So far that he would do anything to make up for his foolish words.

Caught up in his thoughts he barely noticed the loud music emitting from the door. Tom didn't bother knocking on the door but placed a shakey hand on the cold handle and let himself in. The music was loud and so was she. Her voice broke with every word she tried to sing like a fourteen year old boy going through puberty. Tom stood at the end of the hallway that led out into the kitchen/dining area and watched as she flailed her hair from side to side every once in a while she would snap her fingers with the music while her other hand was holding a bottle of straight vodka. As he noticed this she noticed him. Expecting to be slapped into oblivion she came up and embraced him in a bear hug the best she could in her inebriated state.

"Hi Thomas!" she said making her voice reach a high pitch.

"Hello love, uh, how did you get this bottle thats so evidently glued to your hand?" He asked as he tried to take the bottle from her hand but it was no use.

"I believe I walked down to the...store corner?...corn-errrrrrr store? That store that's on the corner!" Sarah pointed and walked to the nearest corner in the room practically stumbling on the way over. Tom walked close to her helping her keep her balance. "Over at the store I bought this." She shook the half empty bottle in the air before taking another swig.

There was a moment of silence as the song ended but then picked up when it played a different song. Sarah jumped away from Tom giving a wild smile and began to dance to the song. She jumped around swinging her arms in every direction spilling her drink on the floor.

"I love this song!"

"It's a good song" said Tom "Im just going to turn it down a little bit"

Tom walked over to the book shelf and pressed pause. When he turned around she was did she go he asked himself. In that moment he heard a small groan making his way past the couch and into the bedroom he couldnt find her. It was when he walked into the living room he caught a glimpse of her sock covered foot upright on the kitchen floor. He rushed over to Sarah as she laid on the glossy wood floor.

"Sarah? Sarah? Are you okay?"

"yeah..." she said groggily. "I slipped" Sarah tired to get up but he kept her still.

"Just lay here for a moment"

"you know that really is a good song, You cant always have the things you want. If you do get what you want its not always good for you. You never know other things might get in the way. You can plan everything to a T and it could still get ruined."

"You know from experience?" he said with an arched brow

"Unfortunately."

Sarah closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. The stroke of his hand in her hair was soothing to her it was time to talk but she wouldn't tell him everything. "Sorry I kind of slapped you in the face."

I think i deserved it." he snickered

"yes..yes you did." Leaving the comfort of his hold Sarah sat up against the kitchen cabinets still with her eyes closed. She refused to look at him. Sarah couldn't avoid it any longer she couldnt just leave him wondering now that he had read the letter.

"I'm so tired." she said slightly slurring her words." I think you should go get me that bottle." Sarah pointed at the bottle of vodka on the counter. Of course she thought to herself save the bottle and not yourself. She knew she had drank just a little too much but that was the only she could get through her little story without sobbing or so she thought.

With the slurring of her words Tom had apparently thought she had had enough too. He had poured a small amount in a glass, handed it to her and put the bottle away. The silence that fell could be cut with a knife she had much too say but was in fear that he might think she was just another fucked up soul, she had no doubt in her mind that she was. Sarah took a sip from her glass and let the burning sensation flow down her already tattered and torn throat.

"Its not a complicated story...it's simple."

Tom kept his eyes on her and taking in the state she was in. Sarah sat in the corner of the kitchen across from him. Her eyes, although she wasn't looking at him, were glossy and far away as if she were recalling a memory. No matter how many times she would say it was simple he knew that it wasn't.

"I was with Jess for far too long" she scoffed " I thought he loved me."

"Sarah you don't have to tell me." Tom tried to reason.

"No, no no no." Sarah shook her head and place a lazy finger to her lips to show silence. "You're my, friend, we have to tell stuff. Right?" Her eyes closed and silence swept over once again and for a moment he thought she had fallen asleep until she spoke again. "I remember that day when he left...I played it off like I didn't care but I did. I'm good at that playing things off...my emotions. I should win an award for most fake emotion person...He left me to be with my so called friend.

Tom saw the meloncholy that swept over her features as she recalled the memories of her past relationship. She was hurt and he could only place blame on himself for her to relive the past that was unkind to her. He should have kept his mouth shut about the letter.

" I did everything for him and took alot of shit from him. He was such a complete jerk I was there for him when things weren't their best and was he there for me? oh yeah he was there he was there to tell me that everything I did for him was wrong, he was there to tell me he didnt care. I stayed with him because I was alone and he was there. He was convienent for me. Well you know what that bastard can have a good life he can marry her, have a family with her, and forget about me he can pretend like six years was nothing!

Sarah was unaware of the tears that were streaming from her eyes leaving little trails of hurt. The pain and sorrow she had been holding in finally came out but it was directed at the wrong person. Although she knew that everything she said had nothing to do with Tom she could only think of how awkward it was going to be when she returned to work.

'You can leave now." she said before getting up from the kitchen floor.

Once she had got to her feet the swaying of her body started a chain reaction of things she would wish were never said. The first step she took made her grapple on to Tom. The eyes that met her's were of genuine concern for her and that only made her swoon.

"You're eyes are pretty, such a suitable shade of blue...except when you're mad which is rare." she said just inches away from his face.

"What suitable color are they when I'm mad?" He asked with all seriousness.

"A-bathroom!" She said before covering her mouth. Sarah couldn't be more embarrassed than she was at that point. The poor guy had seen her throw up so many times in the past day than anyone else in her whole life,well, except maybe her mother. She missed her mother. When her stomach had emptied much of the alcohol from her stomach she felt much better...but still drunk enough to ask one damning question.

" When your with Jade, do you think about me?"

"I...

"Wait dont answer that!"

"Yes".

The answer she had hoped for was no. She had hoped that he didn't think about her at all. For her to say that she thought about him on a daily basis would be wrong but that was just how she felt. That didn't matter. What mattered to her most at that point was that he would leave. She told him what she could, he answered her question, and now she just wanted him to leave.

Thats the end of the chapter thanks for reading. I know its running slow but it will pick up in the next chapter hopefully the wait for that one won't be as long as this one. Leave a review! :)