After a long day at the Zoo and getting dinner downtown, they got back to the hotel just before nine o'clock to lay Tori down for bed. Despite the tension between Troy and Tori and Gabriella, the day was really good. She loved her daughter so much and the longer she spent with her the more she regretted the decisions she had made.
Closing the door to her bedroom, she headed toward the couch. She figured that's where she would be sleeping. She wouldn't make Troy sleep on the couch. Pulling her suit case over and, she picked it up and laid it on the couch, starting to unzip it. She would use the bathroom to change in, sure Troy didn't want me changing in front of him. Gabriella was sure he could barely stand to look at her, let alone see her changing.
"Before you get ready for bed," Troy spoke silently, "Can we go out on the balcony and talk?"
Not really waiting for an answer, he walked over and out the door to the balcony. When she came out and shut the door behind her, Troy turned to her, his arms folded over my chest.
"Today was nice... Troi even seemed to be willing to budge a little and let you I want that for her."
Aside from the fact that Tori had called Gabriella "Ella" all day long, and would grumble every time Gabriella had called her mija, it had gone great. Troy had pulled Tori aside, telling her that no matter what she feels toward her mother, she should respect her. She gave birth to her, even if she doesn't like her, she should at least respect her. Tori listened to her father and relented.
"I want to be a family for her, just like I told you this morning. But you and I," he shook his head, "we are not together. We pretend to be engaged. Happy. In love. Together, to the entire world. To Tori. Our friends. Family. To that audience you've constantly got following you. We pretend to all them, all the while neither of us really being together. Does that make sense? Like you and I are not together. Because I could never be with you again, not after your lies, but we can pretend. For our daughter's sake. For the friends I'm sure who will want to fix it." Chad was a prime example. "All of them believe were happy. We'll be engaged and in love when in reality we are none of those things because I don't want them. Does that make sense to you?"
Gabriella blinked. She couldn't believe he had to repeat himself. Alright, so he added mroe in there. Especially the engaged part? They would be an engaged couple but not a couple. He hadn't asked her to marry him, not really, since they were in high school. Were they just going to jump to that stage of the relationship, even if it was a scam?
Nodding my head, she was barely able to whisper, "I understand."
Wrapping her arms tighter around herself, she took a step backward, coming up to the glass door. "As long as Tori is happy, that is all that ever matters. No one will ever know that you don't love me and we're not actually together."
"I never said I didn't love you," he returned. "I said I didn't like you. Which I don't. I can't like a woman who lies everyday of her life. Who hides a child away like something she is ashamed of. I can't like a woman who believes my feelings meant so little that she didn't even let me know when we got back together that I was a father. I love you. I wish I couldn't love you, but when I look at our daughter, I see you, the good in you and I just can't hate you."
Sighing, he continued, "I want to do this, as an engaged couple, because I know if she thinks I like you, enough to marry you, that she'll let you in. There's nothing I want more than for my daughter to be happy and she'll be happier if she lets her anger go and loves you. I know it doesn't make much sense but that's what I want for her. Even above my own happiness." Shrugging, he nodded his head. "I'd much rather walk away from you and never look back but that won't make Tori happy, not in the long run, so, I have no choice."
Gabriella slowly nodded her head. She didn't know if him still loving her and still going through with this arrangement hurt more or less than the thought of him not being in love with her. How were they supposed to be together and not be together, especially if they're both still in love with each other. But this was what he wanted, and it would be better for Tori to have both of them together. They should have been together from the beginning, but... All of that was in the past and we had to move forward from where we were.
"Alright. I can accept that."
She didn't know what would happen after so long when they didn't get married, but she supposed Troy would come up with an answer to that.
"Can we go to bed now?"
She didn't want to talk about this anymore. She wanted the conversation to be over. He didn't want her anymore, and this was her punishment. She just wanted to accept it and move on.
Troy nodded, sliding the door open. He her go through it and he followed, walking over to the bed. When she went into the bathroom to get ready for bed, Troy got changed there in the room. Pulling the covers back, he sat down on the bed, waiting for Gabriella to come back out. He didn't like the situation they were in, but what else could he do? He did she still love her. They had spent too long away from each other, but if she expected him to forgive her just because she was sorry, he couldn't do that. When she came out and headed for the couch, Troy looked up at her.
"Why are you sleeping on the couch? I mean..." He looked at the bed and back at her. "The bed is big enough for the two of us. So, come on."
Gabriella looked over at him, shaking her head and looking from the couch and back over to him. "Ummm..." She slowly started to move over toward him, hugging herself as she walked. "I guess it's ok. If Tori were to come out and see us sleeping separately..."
But did that mean this is how they sleep at home? In the same bed? She didn't know how she'd deal with that, being so close and yet so far away from him.
"If this is what you want..."
"Yep. The big is huge. I think we could manage keeping our hands to ourselves, don't you?"
He laid back on the bed, tugging the covers over himself and yawning slightly. When she was in the bed, he reached up and flipped the lamp off.
"Goodnight, Gabriella."
Gabriella closed my eyes tightly, pulling the covers up more around herself and hugging the pillow to her breasts, trying to keep the tears from falling. She had to be strong. She had to be.
"Night," was all Gabriella could say.
She bit her lip and blinked her eyes a bit before closing them more softly this time. What else was there to say? She could see every conversation not around other people being just as empty as this exchange. It hurt, and she knew it probably never would stop hurting. Troy sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling. His heart hurt, knowing after all this time, this is where they were at, where they ended up. It sucked because he had loved her all his life practically. Maybe someday... somehow he could forgive her, but for right now, he just couldn't. He loved her. God help him he did. But how could he forgive and forget her mistakes when they were so big?
Gabriella hugged the edge of the bed more, just wishing she could go to sleep, but she wasn't tired. Sighing heavily, she stood, walking over and grabbing her coat and sliding her shoes on.
"I am going to go for a walk... Tire myself out. I'll be back."
She headed toward the door, wishing this night was just over. Troy sat up, staring at the door as it closed in her wake. He wanted to go after her, but then a part of him, the one taking over the other part, told him no. She wasn't his concern anymore. She could do as she pleased. It was her choice. He wasn't her boss, even if he wanted to be. He laid back down on the bed, sighing heavily and stared at the ceiling. He'd never understand women.
Gabriella took the elevator down to the lobby, walking out and looking around. She was in her nightgown and a coat that barely came down over the bottom of the nightgown, and her shoes. She looked like a complete mess. At least it was late and not many people were out. She could use a drink... Troy was up with Tori, she could get away with one. Even if drinking wasn't something she usually did. Right now, she was sure it was the only thing that was going to help her get to sleep.
Walking into the hotel bar, she sat on a stool and smiled at the bartender as he walked over to her. It was her fake smile, the one she used all the time, but no one but those closest to me, Traylor and Troy, knew that it was what it was.
"Cosmo..." she started to say before changing her mind. "No... Something stronger." Sighing, she slumped her shoulders forward. "Just hit me with your best shot!"
A while later, she took the elevator back up to the room, stopping at the door. Starting to search her pockets for... "Fuck!" she grumbled.
She didn't usually curse, not that badly anyway, and she didn't drink usually either, but she realized she hadn't brought a key with her. She had just left earlier, and now She'd have to wake Troy up. She just hoped she didn't wake Tori up as well. She didn't know how deep of a sleeper she was. Lifting her hand, Gabriella winced as she lightly tapped at the door. Troy twisted and looked at the closed door when he thought he had heard a knock. He had fallen asleep and couldn't be sure what he had heard. But then he heard the knock again. Sitting up, he shoved the covers back and stretched before rubbing my eyes as he headed over to the door. Slowly opening it, he peeked his head out.
"Gabriella?" he questioned, stepping aside so she could come in. "Where have you been? What time is it?"
She smelled like alcohol, but there was no way. Lily never drank. She pushed past him, shrugging her shoulders and whispering heavily.
"Who knows. I don't even know what time it was when I left."
Kicking off her shoes, tossed her coat on the couch. She didn't usually just toss things any place. She like to put things away, but right now she didn't care.
"Back to bed?"
She walked over to the bed and crawled back under the covers. She should be able to sleep now. Troy watched the way she stumbled. It was very slight but she did.
"I can't believe you ran off and got drunk. On the first night we get our daughter back. That's your priority. Wonderful!" He followed her over, crawling in the bed and tugging the covers up. "You smell like a bar."
Sitting up, she stared down at him, still whispering heavily. "Well, would you like me to go take a shower? I'm sure it would be hilarious if I were to fall asleep in there, right? Since it's serving it's purpose and making me tired enough to sleep, considering there was no way that was happening earlier."
"Sure go right ahead!" Troy had to laugh, because seriously. "Go right on in and fall asleep in the shower. That's not my issue! That would your issue." He laughed again, staring up at her. "God, you're drunker then a skunk!"
"I'll have you know, MISTER!" She poked at his chest with my finger. "I'm not so very drunk! And skunks are stinky! And it's not me that stinks. It's the alcohol. So THERE!" She poked him in the chest again for measure.
Troy laughed, grabbing her hand. "Stop poking me, woman! And it's you who smells as bad as a bar. The bottle of booze is not laying next to me in bed. That's you. You're the one who stinks. And you're pretty drunk cause you're poking me woman!" Troy laughed again. She was cracking him up.
"Don't you laugh at me, MISTER COACH, SIR. MISTER I can sink more baskets than any NBA baller!" She glared down at his hand. "Don't you be clutching on me, MISTER!"
His hand almost burnt hers as he held it, but she wasn't going to let that get to her. She was a rock! Troy released her hand, laughing as he sat up.
"You are drunk as hell. Go take a hot shower. I'll go get you something, actually, that way you can get some grease in your system and be less... er.. drunk." He laughed, pushing the covers back. "I can't believe you, Lily..." Stopping short, he realized what he had called her and changed it. "Gabriella of all people is drunk!"
She glared at him when he called her Lily. He shouldn't be calling her that. She wasn't his Lily. Not anymore. She stood up and out of the bed, grabbing onto the nightstand so she didn't fall on her ass.
"I'm not your Lily anymore. I lost that right LONG time ago and you shouldn't be calling me that!" Turning, she headed toward the bathroom, tripping on one of her shoes and falling forward, fast on her face. "Funkybuttlovin!"
Troy busted out laughing when she fell on her face, but what really got him going was what she said. "Did you just say... did you... funkybuttlovin! Really?"
He laughed harder, coming over to help her, all the while trying not to fall over himself. He pulled her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to help her move toward the bathroom.
"This is the most fun I've had in days..." It was true, which was odd considering why he wasn't having fun was because of her.
She let out a heavy huff. "I cannot believe how much pleasure you're getting out of this! I'm not that-" she hiccuped, "drunk! I'm not!" They walked into the bathroom and the lights were off. Gasping, she looked around. "Who turned off the power! Those jerks!"
"Oh, lord," he said, flipping the light on. "Let there be light." Chuckling, he helped her sit on the toilet before walking over and turning the water on, holding his hand inside to wait for it to warm up to the right temperature. "Okay, get undressed and get in, and clean out those dirty pores full of booze." He turned to walk to the door and stopped, looking back at her. "What would you like to eat? I'm going to leave Tori here with you while I run to get it. Don't wake her up... or burn the hotel room down.."
Gabriella pulled off her night gown, not caring where she tossed it. "Now how in the world would I do that, chief? There's no fire here to play with!" Looking over at the shower and raising an eyebrow. "You can't burn the place down with hot water," she told him, before mumbling to herself, "at least I don't think so..."
Troy turned his eyes to the floor, because seeing her naked, he always found it next to impossible to resist her, even half naked, like she was. "Okay, fine, but can you tell me what you want to eat so I can go!"
He shook his head, not believing he was taking care of her... not after everything. Gabriella stood wobbly before him. She was sure if I she was given a little push, she'd fall over again. Crossing her arms over her breast, she lifted one hand to her mouth, tapping her lips with one finger.
"Mmmm, you said something greasy? A double cheeseburger with bacon, extra pickles and mustard, no lettuce." Her eyes brightened. "Ooooh! And some seasoned cheese fries." She nodded my head. "That sounds good!" She told him as her stomach started to growl. Looking down at it, she gasped. "I beg your pardon!"
Troy laughed again, unable to helpp himself, and grabbed the handle to open the door. "Okay, then that's what I'll get so your stomach stops talking."
He shut the door behind him, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door. Heading to the elevator, he road it down and headed for the nearest place to get food.
"You know," Gabriella said after he left, looking down at her stomach, "That was very rude! Troy and I were having a nice conversation and you had to go make all that noise!"
Grumbling, she slid off her panties and tossed them aside, stepping into the shower. The warm water felt good washing over her naked body. She wished the warmth was from Troy's taut frame, but she knew she'd never have that again. Closing her eyes, she showered and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel. Drying herself off, she wrapped the towel around her body. Her hair was still soaking wet, drenched, so she pulled another towel off the rack and wrapped it around her hair before turning to walk out of the bathroom.
Troy stopped fast when I saw Gabriella, wet, coming out of the bathroom in a towel. "Well," he stuttered, kicking the door shut with his foot and walking over to set the food on the table, leaving his back to her as he unzipped his jacket. "If you'd hurry and get dressed the food is here." He swallowed hard, trying to focus on getting his jacket off and not Gabriella naked behind him.
Gabriella sighed heavily, looking over at him. "What if I don't feel like getting dressed? Can't I just ..." Exhaling heavily, she shook her head, and walked over toward the couch. "Fine. Whatever."
Stopping, she noticed the shirt he had been wearing earlier. Smirking, Gabriella reached for it and pulled the towel from her body, pulling his shirt on. Tugging the towel from her hair, she let her damp locks fall down over her shoulders before grabbing a pair of panties out of her bag and pulling them on,walking over to him.
"Happy now? Can we eat?"
"Just peachy," he said, forcing a smile.
Setting her food down in front of across the table from himself, he sat down in front of his food. Unwrapping his burger, he looked over and noticed her in his shirt. So maybe it wasn't so easy not to stare when her incredible legs were bare, coming out from my shirt. He may not like her anymore but I wasn't blind. Taking a giant bite of his burger, he averted his eyes to the table.
Gabriella crossed one leg over the other, picking up her burger and taking a big bite of it. "Oh yeah!" She moaned. "This is sooo gooood!" She took another bite of it, her eyes rolling back into her head. She didn't feel so pissy anymore. She couldn't remember why she had been angry in the first place. Smiling over at him after swallowing the bite, she nodded soflty. "Thank you, Troy."
"You're welcome," he mumbled, taking another bite of his burger and keeping his eyes off of her. "Just enjoy it so we can go to bed. I'm exhausted and I'm sure tomorrow will be a long day." He bit into his burger again, sighing heavily. She just had to go and moan and make his life even more difficult.
"You know, I know you hate me, or whatever it is you said, but we can have a civil conversation, can't we?" Gabriella asked, putting her burger down and picking up a fry, pointing it at him. "There is one thing that alcohol is good for." She tossed the fry at him, cheese and everything falling off from it as it flew at him. "At least now I'm numb to the way you're acting. Not a blubbering mess like you had me since last night, but it's like you even give a damn about that!" She picked up another fry and stuck it in her mouth.
Troy 's eyes snapped up, giving her a dark glare. "Why should I care how you feel? You didn't give two shits how I felt for years. Fuck you!" He pointing one of his fry at her the way she had pointed one at him. "I would care how you feel if you hadn't hid my God damn kid from me. Don't act like your the victim here, Gabriella!" he barked before stuffing the fry in his mouth.
"Believe me! I know I'm anything but the victim here! I know full well what I did, but knowing what I did and how I feel about what I did doesn't matter. I know what matters here and it's that little girl in there!" She pointed toward the other bedroom with another fry in her hand. "I fucked up! Royally! I don't think anyone can fuck up near as badly as I have! I know that! My daughter hates me! My soul mate hates me! But that is what I have to deal with. That is my fate."
Tossing the fry down, all the anger she was feeling earlier was now multiplied, and it wasn't even Troy she was pissed at. She was pissed at herself. This was all her damned fault and she knew it. "I'm going to bed." She did her best to keep her voice down the more she said, but she was done, pushing herself away from the table and out of the chair.
"Good night, Troy!"
She headed over to the bed and climbed under the covers, pulling them over her head. She knew she was going to have the worst hangover in the morning, but that was her fault too.
Troy rolled his eyes. "Goodnight." He shook his head. "And that's all I got to say to that."
He ate the last bite of his burger and rolled up the paper, tossing it into the bag and tossed a few fries back before throwing them away and the bag too. He tossed her food as well, she obviously wasn't eating. He kicked his shoes off and went over to crawl up in the bed. Flipping the light off, he went back to staring up at the ceiling, willing himself to sleep.
Pulling her pillow more against herself, Gabriella was still shaking with anger. She hated herself for the choices she made. She hated that she had hurt the two people in this world that meant the most to her... She hadn't even told Taylor about Tori. It would be really good to go to her right now or even call, but she couldn't call as drunk as she was right now. She would wait to tell her when she was introducing Tori to her.
Hugging the pillow, She whispered to Troy, not caring if he could hear her or not, because she knew he didn't care how she felt, "I love you." Angry or not, she still loved him more than anything. Troy turned on his side with his back to her. He had heard her, but he was trying to pretend he hadn't. There wasn't a day he hadn't wished for those three little words the entire time she was gone, but now, he just didn't want to hear it. It hurt him.
He closed his eyes, and somehow, someway, found himself falling asleep. Gabriella bit her lip and let her head come out of the blanket a little so she could at least breathe. Sleep was coming hard and fast, thanks to the alcohol. She missed sleeping with Troy's arms around her, and this was only the second night of this arrangement. At least she could hope to dream of him holding her.