Hey guys! So, many people have told me to check the grammar of the story and I have done it. I updated all the chapters again, but I'm not an english speaker, so if there are others mistakes, sorry lol.
John felt part of his heart shatter. "Then you wouldn't need to try to save my life, there would be no life to save." It was brutal to put it so blunt, but it was true.
Sherlock opened and closed his mouth several times without making any noise. "J-John… you have to understand. I need you alive. And I will do anything to still have you". God, John was mad at him again. But he wanted the truth, right? "Promise me you will stay alive"
John only shook his head, knowing, just knowing he was hurting Sherlock. "Can't. I can't do that unless you...unless you promise not to leave me. And-and if you have to, I can come."
"John, I don't want to lie to you", Sherlock breathed. "And I know I would leave if that's the only way to keep you alive." Should he lie to John? He would make him happier… and he will kill himself if you left, Sherlock thought.
"I'm glad you're not lying to me," he said with a slight growl, "Then don't leave. There will be no one to keep alive if you did!" He was speaking the truth, as blunt as it was.
"You are just being thick now", Sherlock said, a little annoyed at John's behavior. "Don't you understand? Wouldn't you leave me to keep me alive?" This was getting ridiculous. He needed John to understand…
"Of course I would!" he said, nearly shouting. He was getting frustrated, annoyed, and very worried. He couldn't lose Sherlock again. He just knew he wouldn't survive even if Lestrade and Mycroft kept 24/7 watch on him. "I'm not being thick, Sherlock. I am telling you the truth."
"And I am telling you the truth, too", Sherlock growled, trying not to shout. John was breathing fast, he was trembling slightly, with a blush on his cheeks… there was a tremor in his eyes too… was he about to cry? "Would you want that I kill myself if you left me?", he asked, softly this time. He reached a hand to his doctor, shyly.
John didn't react, staring into Sherlock's eyes. It was true, he was trembling. But he couldn't show emotions, he wouldn't allow himself. He wasn't being the strong man he used to be. "Of course not. You have many things to live for S-Sherlock. Regardless of me. If-if you were to have to leave again, I couldn't-no I wouldn't survive!" He was starting to yell now. He couldn't help it, he didn't want to. He could tell Sherlock was pushed to the edge as much as he was.
Sherlock didn't know what he had been expecting. Maybe that John would get his hand away, or he would allow Sherlock to touch him. But that coldness in his eyes… Sherlock left his hand fall down without reaching for the doctor, who was beginning to lose his nerve. Sherlock adopted the same expressionless look, breathing deep to control himself. "I have nothing, nothing, lo live for apart from you, John", he said matter of factly.
John took in a deep breath. It did no good. He was starting to tremble even more. He slipped away and started to move, to pace. It was something, something to calm him down. He turned back to Sherlock, his eyes on his detective. "Then why do you expect me to live without you?!" He was shouting again, being stupid.
"Because you have a lot more to do in the world. You are a good man, you-you care about people. You save them. " Sherlock tried to concentrate, but seeing John wandering around naked wasn't helping him. Trying to calm himself, Sherlock thought. Trying to get away from me… "You are so much better than me, John. You deserve so much more", he breathed, looking down for a second.
"But I want you, Sherlock!" he yelled suddenly, turning on Sherlock, growling, "I want you, God Damnit! I want you in every bane and form! Your selfishness, arrogant, asinine ways! Why?! Because I love you! And I refuse to lose that!" He stared at Sherlock, his chest rising and falling heavily. He was starting to feel dizzy.
Sherlock stared at John for a second. In the next, he had pinned John against the wall, pressing him against it. In a flash, he bent down and captured John's lips in a bruising kiss. "I want you too. And I'm too selfish to say I would refuse having you, even if that put you in danger… and that's the most selfish thing I have done in my live", he whispered, his lips brushing John's. "I love you too much to leave you. You won't lose me", he finally promised. He knew he wouldn't be strong enough to leave John again.
A few silent tears ran down John's face as he listened to Sherlock. He kissed him back as deeply, his hands pressed to his side. He had nothing else to say, he knew Sherlock was speaking the truth.
Sherlock moaned against John's lips, pressing his body to John's. Drawing back, he nip at his neck, rolling his hips into John's at the same time, asking for permission to do more.
John moaned softly, the nip at his neck and Sherlock's hips against his own setting him off. He wanted more, needed more and very wanted Sherlock in every way. "Sherlock, please," he moaned softly.
Sherlock growled, biting his own lip to prevent him from crying out. God, John begging was… Taking the doctor from the hips, he pushed him backward until his knees touched the bed. He pushed him onto it, climbing up and laying over John.
John let out a gasp, wishing Sherlock had continued the motion. He fell on the bed, feeling Sherlock's warm body overtaking his. God it was enough to make him... "Sherlock," he moaned, "Please..." He was begging again, he needed Sherlock.
"God, John…" If he kept this up, Sherlock would come just from hearing him begging. He resumed the movement of his hips, kissing John deeply. He slipped a hand between them, taking hold of both of them and moved his hand as fast as he could.
John let out a sound that he never knew he had. He gripped the sheets, the pleasure intense. "Sherlock!"he moaned loudly. He was kissing Sherlock, deeply.
My GOD. Sherlock opened his mouth in pleasure, staring at John intensely. He balanced himself on the other arm to be able to see him. John moaning under him, gripping the sheets, begging… "John… I'm not going to last.."
"Take me," he whispered softly, a hint of begging in his voice. He wrapped the sheets in his hands, hearing Sherlock moaning in his ear. He knew he was close, so very close.
Sherlock stopped his movement all of sudden. If he didn't stop, he wouldn't do what John wanted… and he wanted John to be happy. Breathing deep, he took his member and lined himself up on John's entrance, looking up at him. "Beg for it"
John bit his lip. "Sherlock, I beg of you. Please take me. Please. I need you. Want you!" He nearly screamed, reviving pleasure from Sherlock's movements.
Sherlock's eyes turned darker as he thrust into John in one single, hard movement, gasping. "Mmm, John.."
John let out a scream, a scream of pleasure when Sherlock entered him. It was painful, but gods it felt good. "Sherlock," he moaned again.
Sherlock buried his face in John's neck as he began fucking him in hard, punctual thrust. He bit John's earlobe, moaning in his ear. "John, I love so much"
John groaned again, the thrusts and the biting becoming too much. It was painfully pleasurable, the worst kind of torture. "Sherlock," he moaned softly, "I love you. I love you."
Sherlock let the best bit for the end. He knew it was too much for John… but seeing him like this was the best thing he has ever seeing. He lifted his head, looking down at John. He slipped again a hand between their stomach, stocking only John this time. He bent down to whisper against his lips. "Come for me"
John shuddered at Sherlock's request. It was too much. His eyes shut tight as he felt it, every ounce of pleasure escaping from him. He screamed with the pleasure, realizing himself over Sherlock's hand. "Christ," he moaned.
Sherlock bit his lips, groaning loudly. "No. Just me", he smirked, speeding up. He was almost there, just a little more…
John couldn't help, but smirk, moaning every so lightly. He was breathless, eyes still closed tight. "Come for me, Sherlock," he groaned, smiling.
Sherlock moaned, staring down at him. God, it was too much. All he could feel was John, John, John… with two more thrust, he emptied himself inside John, screaming his name at the top of his lungs.
John groaned softly. He gripped Sherlock's hand, ignoring how sticky it felt.
Sherlock collapsed on top of John. "I know I am crashing you, but I am too comfortable to move", he admitted in a sleepy voice.
John chuckled. "You are doing no such thing." He felt utterly exhausted now.
"Mhmm", was what Sherlock said in reply. He buried his face in John's neck, licking it with his tongue. "Let's sleep"
John shuddered softly. "We need it," he said with a soft smile.
"I need you", mumbled Sherlock sleepily, not even realizing that the words left his mouth.
John smiled. He kissed Sherlock hand. "I-I Need you."