Six hour after, Sherlock was texting madly on his phone. For god's sake, Mycroft could be annoying sometimes, he thought as he dropped the phone to the bedside table softly, trying not to wake John up.
John let out a soft groan. He was slowly waking up. He Could tell it was still very early. He still felt exhausted.
"Shh, sleep", Sherlock whispered in his ear, drawing up the sheet on John.
John smiled, pressing his face into Sherlock's side as he fell deeper into sleep.
Sherlock felt John stirring two hours after. Sherlock knew he couldn't make him sleep more... But he didn't want John awake. He had bad news for him.
John's eyes slowly opened. He stretched and yawned. He hadn't slept this good in years. He looked over at Sherlock, sitting up to rest his head on the others shoulder. "Good morning, love."
"Morning", Sherlock replied, trying to smile. He paced his arm over John's shoulders and kissed his head. "Did you sleep good?"
He smiled leaning into Sherlock. "Better than I have in years." He nuzzled Sherlock neck.
He slowly pulled away, his heart fell as he struggled to breath. "What...did he say?"
Sherlock looked up at him before answering. "They have found Moriarty. Not very far away from him"
John pulled away completely. He looked down at his hands. He knew this was to come. He swallowed hard. "Oh..."
"I'm sorry", Sherlock sais immediately. "I didn't know it would be this soon...", he trailed off. "Please don't me upset".
John swallowed hard. He wiped his eyes. He wouldn't cry. It was already hard enough. He didn't need to make it harder on Sherlock. This wasn't his fault. "It's ok," he said, his voice not holding emotion, "You didn't know... At least I had some warning. And-and didn't wake up with you gone.."
Sherlock lifted his hand and wiped John's cheeks. "Don't play strong, John. You know you can't fool me", he whispered. He leant down to kiss him sweetly. "I wouldn't go without saying goodbye"
He felt the lips on his and kissed back, kissing him gently. "I know you wouldn't," he muttered. He still wouldn't' show emotions. This /had/ to happen. He knew it.
"I love you", Sherlock whispered. "And I'll miss you. Everyday", he confessed, knowing that his tough military doctor wouldn't the first to say his feelings
John swallowed hard, looking back up at Sherlock. Christ, it already hurt to look at him. To think of the impossible. "I love you, Sherlock. I really do.. I will miss you. When-when do you leave?"
"I should already have", he confessed. He pulled John into a warm hug, burying his face on John's neck. "Don't even think for a second that I won't be back".
He swallowed hard. This would be difficult for him. Very difficult. He could already feel it. He wrapped his arms around Sherlock, holding him tight as if that would prevent him from going. A childish thought, but he couldn't help, but think that. "I-I know you will."
Sherlock held him, kissing his temple. "Would it be better if I texted you with news?", he said warmly. John would know he was alive.
He nodded, feeling the hot lips on his cold skin. "P-please. I-I know how dangerous it is for you.. I know how dangerous it-it would be. But I'd like s-some news. M-maybe not e-every day, but...n-news none the less." his voice was breaking, he cursed himself.
Its more dangerous to leave him alive", he said. God John sounded close to tears. "I'll text you everyday John. Even more than once if I can. Will you answer me?"
He couldn't look into the man's eyes. He /was/ close to tears, he wouldn't let the other see. It would hurt them both. "Of course I would! No matter what I'm doing."
"Look at me", Sherlock asked as gentle as he could. "If I don't text one day go talk to Mycroft. He would know"
John slowly pulled away, looking in the younger man's eyes. "I-I will," he promised.
Sherlock stared into his watery eyes, feeling his own watering too "I have to go", he said, getting up and wiping his eyes.
John watched him a numb feeling over coming him. He struggled to push the emotions aside. He slowly got out of the bed. "I'll...I'll walk you to the door," he said, numb.
Sherlock took the bag he had prepared while John was asleep and followed the doctor outside. When they reached the principal door, Sherlock stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "I don't want to leave", he confessed, dropping the bag to the floor and holding John one more time.
John wrapped his arms around Sherlock. Gods, this couldn't end. He couldn't' go. He felt a sob rise from him, but he fought against it and the tears. "You-you have to," he said at least, "I-I don't want you to either, but if-if we are to be safe then-then you have to go." He couldn't believe he was saying it, urging Sherlock to go. He knew he was right, Sherlock knew it too, but they couldn't be without the other.
Sherlock smiled sadly. "My strong doctor", he whispered, drawing back and kissing John slow and deep, moaning his name against his lips. "When I get this over with, we will be together, John. And no one between us", he promised, stepping away.
John kissed back, shivering at the mention of his name. Gods, he needed Sherlock. He wanted him. He couldn't' do this. "I-I know. You will do anything t-to keep us safe." He watched Sherlock step away, handing him his bag. "Please be safe."
Sherlock took the bag, his hand grazing John's. He looked up one more time into his blue eyes. If he didn't go know, he wouldn't be strong enough to do it. "I love you", he finally said, taking the doorknob and yanking the door open.
"I love you too," he said after Sherlock. He watched him leave. He watched him walk down the steps. He couldn't follow. He wouldn't' allow himself to. He knew what would happen. He took in a shuddering breath. Christ, this was going to be hard.