Author's Note: A special thanks goes out to my Beta, Floating On A Thought and also the band Mumford & Sons, without whom this story would not be possible. Read, review, and enjoy!
Chapter 3: Departure
Naruto tried his best to act professional as he sat in Tsunade's office. He tried to appear interested in their small talk. He tried to pretend that his head did not feel as if someone was slowly pounding an ice-pick against it with every subtle noise. He tried, but by the look on Tsunade's face, he was sure that he failed.
The space between the Hokage's eyebrows narrowed as she scrutinized her newest member of the ANBU. Her hazel eyes ran over his tired face, his disheveled hair, his slumping posture. If she had any concerns about his well being she did not voice them. Instead, she let out a long sigh and tapped on her cheek.
"I suppose there is no point in beating around the bush so early in the morning. I might as well tell you why I summoned you here," she mused before adopting a more serious air.
Naruto straightened in his seat. Finally. Behind his annoyance with the early summons and pounding headache, he had been curious as to why Tsunade called him. After all, she had already stated that she would not send for him unless it was an emergency. And she did not use the term lightly.
Tsunade allowed a short silence to transpire, as if the topic they were about to discuss demanded some sort of respectful prequel. The older woman closed her eyes, sighed again, and then fixed her eyes on Naruto with a hard stare. Silence . . . and then:
"Uchiha Itachi is dead."
Naruto's headache vanished. His eyes widened and he sat completely erect in his seat, all traces of weariness gone. A quiet understanding passed between him and the Hokage as the full implications of her words finally dawned on him; his heart started hammering in his chest. Adrenaline coursed through his veins.
"Where?" he finally asked. His tone was even despite the fact that his nails began to dig into the wood of his armrests.
Tsunade leaned forward in her chair—her massive chest sat atop her desk, but Naruto did not notice—and lowered her voice, wary to reveal such information even in their secured location. "Twenty miles north of the village. His body was found mangled and burned by a sentry late last night, and they sent word as fast as they could," she explained.
Naruto felt the wood under his fingers crack, but paid it no mind. "So close . . ."
Tsunade nodded in agreement. "Indeed. It is my humble opinion that Itachi may have chosen to station himself relatively close to the village when he was not otherwise engaged. Perhaps he hoped that his proximity to his old home would cause his deserter of a brother to hesitate in his hunt." She steepled her fingers and tried to discern if her words had caused any changes in Naruto's expression. They did not. "And perhaps he was right. This occurred much later than we anticipated."
Naruto nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on his lap. It was a struggle for his mind to stay in the room with Tsunade. Already he imagined the scene. Two tall, dark-headed men stood across from each other, weapons drawn, bodies tense. One glared with a deep rooted hate. The other stared ahead passively, no emotion in his red, swirling eyes. Naruto forcibly pulled himself back into reality. He needed to pay attention. All this information would prove to be crucial later on.
Once he had finally calmed his mind to the point where he was able to think coherently, Naruto asked the question that had been pressing in his mind ever since Tsunade had mentioned Itachi's name. "Can we assume that this was done at Sasuke's hand?" It pained him to say his name so freely, but it would be impossible to avoid it any longer.
Tsunade nodded and sat straight in her chair. "I think we must. A very basic autopsy showed internal damage from lightning-natured chakra, as well as scorch marks, and several stab wounds from a katana," she informed him with a meaningful look. "Even if these things were absent, I would still be inclined to suspect him, as I know you would, too."
So this was it, then. Sasuke had finally shown himself. Naruto's skin itched with anticipation, and a tainted joy filled his heart. At long last he had a lead to Sasuke's whereabouts. He was closer to the village than he had been in years, and Naruto was stronger than he had ever been. This time, there would be no room for error. This time, he would catch Sasuke when he was weak, break through his defenses, and drag him back to Konoha where he belonged.
A reckless determination burned in Naruto's eyes, but he managed to keep the rest of his face passive. The wood of the armrests creaked and threatened to break in his grip. A silence stretched out between the two ninja. They needed no words, for they both knew what must be done.
Tsunade allowed the silence to transpire for a few minutes, letting Naruto grasp the entire weight of the situation, and then said, "You set out tonight, one hour before dusk."
Naruto's head snapped up to look at her straight on. Confusion replaced the fire in his eyes. "A solo mission?"
Tsunade raised a blond eyebrow. "Would you rather have a squad? Are you not confident in your abilities?" she asked in a shrewd tone.
Shaking his head, Naruto tried to explain himself. "No, no, it's just . . . all the other missions, I've been placed on a team of at least three or four, and—" he stopped when Tsunade raised one delicate finger.
"That was a long time ago. You are not the same boy who blindly chased his companion into the woods. You are more than capable of completing this task. And, if I may be frank, it is time to end this." Tsunade pulled herself up regally in her chair and regarded Naruto with a cool, calculating gaze. Anger burned inside Naruto. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that that was exactly what he was trying to do, but she raised a hand to silence him.
"Listen to me, Naruto. You will not get another chance like this," she explained and looked him straight in the eye. "Sasuke is undoubtedly weak from his battle with Itachi. We have reason to speculate that he is traveling alone. He has just accomplished his most important goal. He will be careless in his victory." She leaned forward, her gaze unwavering, and stressed the importance of her words with all of her being. "This may be the only chance we have. If we allow him to escape again, the trail will go cold . . . for good. After the death of his brother, he has no other connection to Konoha, and will most likely avoid it at all costs."
Naruto nodded, reluctantly accepting the inevitability of her words. Every time he had set out to retrieve Sasuke, Naruto had always known that this time would be the last time . . . and yet, there had always been another time. Now that he was faced with the cold truth that this really was the last time, his blood ran cold and everything seemed to adopt a new degree of clarity. There would be no room for mistakes this time. It was all or nothing.
When Naruto's focus returned to the room from his inward meditations, Tsunade continued. "This has gone on for far too long," she said with a sigh and held her weary head in one of her hands. Her age and exhaustion with the world shined through her youthful face, making her appear her true age. Naruto found it strangely fitting. "It is time we finished this. This burden takes a heavy toll on you, Naruto. I have been a witness to it." Here she grew even more serious and looked at him with something close to pity. "I have seen your body grow and your smile fade. I have seen the sadness in your eyes, thinly veiled behind a mask of determination. I know you hurt, and while this may not all have to do with Sasuke, I can image that he is the source of a great deal of it."
Naruto kept his eyes down, knowing her words to be true but refusing to admit any such thing. Undaunted by his silence, Tsunade continued, "I have seen Sakura suffer as well." At the mention of Sakura's name, Naruto's head immediately shot up to face Tsunade head on. "Though sometimes I feel that she has suffered two-fold. Once for the loss of Sasuke . . . and once for the loss of you to the obsession of finding him." She pierced him with her hard gaze and unwanted guilt sprang up inside of him. Naruto pushed the feeling away.
Sakura had not lost him. He had always been there for her, no matter what the cost. And who was it that had had their heart stomped on several times, huh? He was pretty sure that it wasn't Sakura.
Tsunade must have sensed his change in demeanor, for she quickly changed the subject. "But I do not pretend to know Sakura's feelings. I just speculate," she explained and leaned back into her chair again. "Now on to more concrete matters, like the details of your mission."
Tsunade dropped a folder in front of Naruto, and he idly leafed through it as she explained his assignment. He was to infiltrate a small town that Sasuke was likely to take shelter in, track him down, and bring him back to Konoha alive to stand trial. Simple enough. It was nothing he hadn't heard before. Only one thing bothered him.
"Stand trial? But I thought you had already worked out the terms of his return," Naruto said with a frown.
Again, Tsunade appeared to be very tired. "The terms that you and I worked out three years ago may not be enough to appease the council." Naruto fumed and began to argue, but Tsunade raised a hand to silence him. "This cannot be helped. Sasuke committed treason, a very serious crime with very serious circumstances. I will do my best to shield him from the worst punishments, but he will not escape unscathed," Tsunade said, but her response did little to quench Naruto's anger.
"You'll 'do your best'? What if that's not good enough? What if the council decides to hang him or torture him for information? I won't bring him back just to die!" Naruto exclaimed, half-rising out of his chair.
The gap between Tsunade's brows narrowed as she slammed her fist on her desk; the wood creaked under her strength. "He will not die! That much I can guarantee . . . but prison . . . prison, he cannot escape."
The silences between them seemed to dominate their meeting. Naruto clenched his fists; his body trembled from contained emotions. His logic told him that Tsunade was right. There wasn't always a happy ending. Sasuke had committed a crime, treason no less, and he would have to be held accountable for his actions, just like any other shinobi. But it didn't seem fair. To him, Sasuke wasn't just some criminal. He was his friend, and somehow, that excused all of his atrocities.
"Naruto . . ." Tsunade said in such a gentle tone that it shook him from his thoughts. "Life will not be easy for Sasuke once he returns. Things will not be the same. I hope you realize this."
Naruto nodded solemnly. Often he had wondered if bringing Sasuke back to Konoha was the best decision. After all, Sasuke had left on his own free will. He had showed no signs of remorse towards his actions and seemed to have nothing but disdain for the thought of returning to his village. Was he really doing the right thing by bringing Sasuke home? Was it justice, or was he selfishly condemning a man to a fate worse than death because he could not let go of a childhood friendship?
Tsunade seemed to read his thoughts. "Are you sure that you want to go through with this knowing all the circumstances? Is this what you wish to accomplish, Naruto?" she asked him gently, acting as his friend rather than his Hokage, just as she had done from the very beginning.
Uncertainty briefly clouded his mind. It gripped him with its briary hands and stifled his conviction. A montage of images flashed through his mind. He saw a young Sakura crying at the gates of Konoha. He saw Sasuke's red eyes in the instant before his chidori ripped through his chest. He saw Sasuke's passive expression as he regarded them with cool indifference three years later. And finally he remembered all the training he had undergone for this very reason and the old picture that he still kept in his bedroom. The answer was obvious once again.
"I'm sure," he replied with all the conviction in the world.
Tsunade nodded as if she expected nothing less and reached below her desk. When straightened, she placed a standard ANBU uniform next to the folder. A painted mask of a grinning fox lay atop the clothing. When Tsunade noticed Naruto's eyes inspecting the mask, she smirked and asked, "I find it to be rather fitting, don't you?"
Naruto couldn't help but smile in response. It was darkly amusing.
"I apologize that you were not able to be inducted properly, but with the current situation, I see no way around it," she said and stood.
Following her lead, Naruto stood and assured her, "You know me. Ceremonies aren't really a big deal."
Tsunade nodded and walked around her desk to stand in front of him. "Of course. But the least I can do is give you the tattoo."
Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. They hardly had time for him to get a tattoo done. Plus, it would leave his arm irritated and limit his mobility. When he expressed his concerns, Tsunade laughed and explained that the 'tattoo' was not really a tattoo at all, but a seal. While he mulled this new information over, she had him remove his vest and long-sleeved undershirt. Tsunade's face became serious as she concentrated her chakra and preformed several hand seals. Her right hand shot forward and slammed against Naruto's left bicep.
The chakra she poured over his skin burned, and he hissed through his teeth in response. But as soon as the pain came, it vanished, leaving behind a black swirl. Naruto raised his arm to inspect it closer, and Tsunade walked behind her desk once again.
"I'm kind of disappointed. I was looking forward to getting it done," he joked, though there was a little truth behind his words.
Tsunade shook her head and placed a small vile onto the desk. "Take this once you get home. It will alleviate the headache that you surely have and allow you to get a few hours of sleep before you set out," she instructed him. Naruto was caught off-guard by her insight, and she scoffed at his bewildered expression. "Please, a seasoned sake drinker like myself could spot a hangover a mile away. I need you to perform at your best. Go home, get some sleep, and leave one hour before sundown. This should give you enough time to get to the village by dark so that you won't make a scene when you infiltrate Sasuke's hideout," she said and folded her hands in front of her. Her dismissal was clear.
Once Naruto had pulled his clothes back in order, he inclined his head and responded, "Understood, Hokage-sama." With that, he scooped up the folder, uniform, and vile in his arms and turned to exit her office.
When his hand touched the door knob, she called for him one more time and he turned back to face her. "Good luck. Jiraiya would be proud," she said, her face professional but her words sincere.
Naruto smiled softly at the praise and felt a wave of nostalgia pass over him. "Thank you, baa-chan," he said with a toothy grin and shut the door behind him before he had to endure her fit of outrage.
Tsunade hadn't been kidding about that medication she had given him. He had six hours of undisturbed sleep and awoke rejuvenated with his hangover completely gone. But his good mood was soon tainted by the prospect of what he was preparing to do. He ate a quick meal, but had difficulty stomaching it. When he could do nothing else to relieve his anxiety, he changed into his ANBU uniform, strapping on the arm and shin guards with a sense of unreality. All his training had led to this very moment. Everything came down to this.
An hour still remained before he needed to leave the village, and Naruto was at a loss for how to spend his time. He sat on the edge of his bed and turned the painted mask over in his hands. The fox leered up at him, laughing at his troubled conscience. He scowled down in response.
He knew that Tsunade had meant no disrespect by giving him the mask, but he could not help but feel frustrated by once again being labeled by the demon that he housed. Now all his victims would see before passing into the void would be the grinning face of the fox, not his face. From now on, he would have no face. People would see his mask and be reminded of the demon, not the man.
But, Naruto realized with a sigh, this was not so different from his childhood. Until he had proven himself multiple times to the village, the adults had viewed him as nothing more than a monster. But their perceptions changed with time. He would simply have to prove himself once more. Perhaps that had been Tsunade's intention, to force him to accept the presence of the demon inside him and carry on in the face of prejudice. Regardless of her implied meaning, Naruto was in no mood to solve riddles, and he quickly put the thoughts out of his mind.
To distract himself from the unwavering gaze of the mask, Naruto began assembling his weapons. He took special care with each deadly tool, carefully packing them away so that he could make the most out of his limited space. As he placed his last weapon into his holster—a three pronged kunai with an inscription on the handle—Naruto glanced at his clock to check the hour. Almost time.
Before he exited his room, Naruto stopped by his bedside table and gingerly picked up an old, worn wooden picture frame. He brought the frame close to his face, carefully inspecting the familiar picture nestled inside. The youthful faces of his teammates stared up at him, oblivious to the misfortunes that were to befall them. If only he could return to that state of innocence, grinning foolishly and bragging to anyone who would listen. But that could never happen. Life moved on, and things would never again be like they had been in his genin days. He reminded himself of this fact every time he looked at Sasuke's prepubescent face.
Expelling the thoughts from his mind, Naruto gently set the picture frame down but continued to stare despite himself. A long moment passed. "Maybe I'll see you soon, Sasuke. I wonder how much you've changed," he mused to himself before finally wrenching his eyes away from the photo. When he checked the clock again, he noticed that it was time to depart. Without further delay, he adorned his mask and crouched on his window sill. It was bad luck to leave for a mission through the front door.
As soon as the mask covered his features, Naruto fell into a different persona. His gaze was cool and calculated, shadowed behind the two horizontal slits. He felt his emotions sink deep within him and his instinct rise to take their place. So this was what it meant to be ANBU. To be emotionless. A mask with no face or soul. The feeling made him uneasy.
Naruto gripped the strong wood that supported his weight. With a sense of closure, he gazed out at his village that was bathed in the orange-hued light of day's final hours. The wind tickled the exposed skin on his upper arms, and children's laughter drifted up to him from the streets. It had occurred to him that he may not return from this mission, but the thought was fleeting and unbearable. As a ninja, Naruto was well acquainted with thoughts of death. When he was a child, the thoughts had barely troubled him, but as he grew older, he found himself contemplating them more and more often. He had seen many good men fall in the heat of battle and sometimes marveled at the fact that he had escaped death's cold embrace for so long. He accredited much of this to luck but knew that his desire to live was far too strong to allow anything or anyone to take his life without a fight. There was no way he would die before he finished his goals, which were all still out of his reach.
Taking a deep breath to clear his head—so many heavy subjects in one day—Naruto leaned forward in his crouch and focused his chakra to his feet. When the pressure in his legs built to the point of bursting, Naruto pushed off and shot across the roofs with blinding speed. He continued at this pace until he reached the gates of Konoha, where he skidded to a stop. The immense gates loomed over him, overshadowing him with their colossal presence. A faint smile touched his lips as he remembered leaving them for the first time. Now it could be his last.
Closing his eyes tightly, Naruto turned around to take in one last view of his village. He knew that it was unlucky to look back, but he could not help it. The compulsion was too great. But when he opened his eyes, the scene did not appear as he expected. There was one person too many.
"Sakura?"
Sakura stood several feet away, her hands clasped in front of her. A look of mild shock crossed her face when she beheld his mask, but she quickly covered it with a soft smile. "Hello, Naruto."
Her shock struck a chord somewhere deep in his chest—or was it his stomach—and Naruto quickly removed the mask so he could talk to her face-to-face. A weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders when his face was revealed, and he was once again vulnerable to the world and his emotions. He stared at her for a moment, wondering how he had not seen her on his way to the gate.
There were many things that Naruto wanted to say to Sakura—"I'm sorry," "Don't hate me," "I love you," "I'm doing this for you"—but all he could manage to say was, "What are you doing here?"
Instead of being insulted by his question, Sakura merely smiled. "Tsunade-shishou told me about your mission. I thought I would wish you luck," she explained, her tone gentle and cautious.
Despite her tone and expression, Naruto felt dismayed by her response. He hated how she could not speak to him casually. Now she had to be on her guard, else he took advantage of her again. But she had still come, but not for him. She came because he was connected to Sasuke, or so he thought. "I see," he murmured and was surprised to find that he was able to convey all his unhappiness through those two little words.
Sakura's smile faltered, and then her entire expression crumbled to reveal a face that looked about as miserable as he felt. She stepped towards him, her hands clasped at her chest in a pleading gesture. "Naruto . . ." she began, paused, and then continued walking towards him. "That is not the only reason I came. You know that, don't you?" How could he know? She had been a mystery to him since they were eight.
When it became apparent that he was not going to respond to her, she continued, "I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."
Naruto's eyes widened, and he immediately began to disagree. "Sakura, no! I shouldn't have put you in that sort of situation in the first place," he argued.
She lifted a hand to silence him. "Let me finish," she said and came to a stop in front of him. "I knew what was going to happen the moment we stepped outside together. I could've told you 'no' when you said you'd come with me. But I didn't. I could have stopped it early. But I didn't. I was strong enough to push you away. But I didn't. Maybe I wanted it, too . . . I don't know." She shook her head and furrowed her brow in concentration. Naruto held his breath the whole time, nervous and yet excited to hear more. "But in any case, I wasn't thinking clearly, and I overreacted like I always do. And I hurt you in the process," she apologized, and by the look on her face, Naruto could tell that she meant both emotionally and physically. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it intentionally."
Naruto stared down at her in bewilderment. Her words ran through his mind again and again, but no matter how many times he analyzed them, he could find no solid traces of any deeper emotion than regret.
Undaunted by his silence, she continued, "I've been thinking about it all day, and when Tsunade-shishou said that you were leaving . . . I knew that I had to talk with you. In case you—"
"In case I didn't come back?" he asked seriously. She seemed appalled by his answer.
"Of course not! In case you felt the same way. I didn't want you to have it on your conscience," she explained. Her face looked even paler than normal, and he wondered with a little bit of panic if his inference had only given her more to worry about.
"It's fine, Sakura. I don't deserve your apology," he murmured and looked to the ground, ashamed for all the trouble he had caused her.
Sakura scowled and put a hand under his chin to force him to look at her. "Yes, you do," she assured him. "We were drunk. We made bad decisions. It is not one person's fault, so don't shoulder the blame for this like you do with everything else." Her hostility surprised him, but it helped him realize that she wasn't just saying this to ease his guilt.
A soft smile touched his lips as he looked down at her, and Sakura soon adopted the same expression. "Thank you, Sakura-chan," he whispered, once again adopting the old suffix.
She shook her head at his formality and hugged him tightly. The wind came rushing out of Naruto's lungs; her strength never ceased to surprise him. They stood like this for a long moment, and just when Naruto was going to pull away for fear of lingering, she pulled him tighter.
"You're going to be fine on this mission," she murmured uneasily, and he realized just how shaken she was. "You'll find him this time, I know you will. Everything will be fine." It sounded as if she was trying to reassure herself rather than him, but he didn't voice his suspicions. Instead, he just enjoyed the moment for what it was. He closed his eyes at the feeling of her body pressed against his—more of a comforting feeling than sexual. He dipped his nose down and sniffed her hair. She smelled like hospital fumes and cherry blossoms.
They exchanged much in their silence. Mutual hurt, hope, and anxiety, his love, her friendship. It was more than they were capable of expressing through words. After another moment like this, Sakura began to pull away, and Naruto reluctantly mirrored her actions. They smiled at each other. Sakura touched his cheek, which made him smile more.
And then she was moving closer. Naruto's heart pounded in his chest, and he wondered for a silly second if Sakura could hear it beating. As her face drew closer, time seemed to slow down. He was acutely aware of the softness of her hand and the gentle curl of her eyelashes and the scent that filled his nose once again. And then, the moment he had been anticipating did not come, and she kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck. Be safe," she whispered in his ear; he could feel the tickle of her breath against his skin. And then she pulled away, and time sped up again.
Disappointed as he was, Naruto knew when to take a gift when it was presented to him, and he smiled back in gratitude. "Thanks again, Sakura," he said and fit his mask back onto his face. "I should be going. But I'll be back. With Sasuke. That's a promise."
Her smile faltered but quickly recovered. "You don't need to make me any more promises," she murmured. It took him a moment to understand what she was talking about.
"Goodbye, Sakura," he said and turned to leave before he could say anything else that he would regret. He caught her whispered reply and sped through the gates of Konoha towards his destination. Normally, Naruto found the time spent traveling tedious and boring, but this time, that was not the case. Sakura had given him much to think about.
To be continued . . .