So I totally said I would take a day off of updating, then I write the longest chapter thus far, go figure. This chapter is going to be very different, because it is told from Katherine's perspective for the first time. I thought after the carnival, I needed to tell her side of things. I hope you all like it, and sorry there is no Delena in this chapter. Next chapter is going to be heavy with Delena goodness. I hope you all enjoy.

Katherine's POV

As the morning light wakes me from my sleep, I take in my unfamiliar surroundings, specifically, the naked vampire sleeping below me. A devilish smirk graces my face when I think about the events of last night. Nothing like hot hate sex to put a girl in a good mood.

Ordinarily, I don't take too well to giving up control or being used to vent hurt teenage feelings over lesser versions of myself, but I figured I owed Stefan a few favors after my near century and a half absence. If this is what he needs to get over the hump, I can't think of more fun way to help him move on. Stefan stirs a little in his slumber still caught in the place between waking and sleeping. A delightfully evil plan forms in my mind of the best way to wake him up. I straddle him effortlessly and pin his arms above his head while peppering light kisses from his ear all the way down his stomach. My hips grind deliciously against his lower half until his eyes fly open and his breath comes in short pants, clearly enjoying the attention.

Stefan quickly changes positions so he is on top and he pins both my arms at my side. His husky voice fills the air, "Little pathetic don't you think, trying to sleep rape me."

Frustration leaks from my voice as I release him. "I liked you so much better when you were asleep," I tell Stefan as he roughly pushes me off him.

Stefan's guard is up and he's trying desperately to shut out his humanity, but with a weakened diet, he can't manage shutting all the feelings out. The only thing he can manage is faking a rather unconvincing persona of indifference. It makes for a real ass of a bedmate. "As fun as last night's little romp was, no reason for a repeat performance," Stefan claims while searching for his discarded shirt. I roll my eyes at Stefan's blatantly obvious attempts to push anyone and everyone out of his life so he can give in to the ripper.

"And Stefan the jackass makes his first daily appearance," I respond sarcastically. Not that I'm one to judge, what with my limited interactions with the softer human emotions, but this isn't the Stefan I came back for. His next biting remark I realize is only an attempt to hurt me. I just wish it wasn't so effective.

"Spoken by the most selfish person I know," Stefan insults me with dead unforgiving eyes. To my credit, I don't so much as flinch at his abuse. I merely keep smiling as if nothing fazes me and deliver a witty retort to hide my pain.

"The difference is I'm known for being a bitch. This is what your friends might call concerning behavior for you, that is if you hadn't already alienated every other person in your life," I remind him. The distant look in his eyes tells me he is reliving last night's theatrics, either his confrontation with Elena and Damon or his confrontation with Caroline at the end of the night. Both were pretty ugly, but Stefan's fight with the blonde Barbie stung him more, because she initially was trying to help. Caroline confronted him about 25 minutes after our run in with our respective exes and he lashed out at her, told her a relationship between a human and a vampire was doomed and that she was an idiot for trying to hold on to the high school quarterback. Caroline slapped him hard across the face and told him he was better off alone.

Stefan chooses this morning to express his regret and guilt by making the people around him feel his pain, starting with me. "The last thing I need is help from the likes of you," Stefan claims bitterly. So much anger and self-loathing, it's a good thing he's immortal, or his brooding would have produced some serious wrinkles by now.

I'm getting fed up with the attitude, so I use my vampire speed to pin him to a wall, and this time not in a sexy way. "That's great Stefan. You've already pushed away Elena, Damon, and Caroline, why don't you start in on me? See if you can't drive me away too," I challenge before he shoves me hard across the room.

His next attempts at wounding me are much more effective at inflicting pain than Stefan's pitiful little shove. "Shouldn't be that hard, last time I did it without even trying. Imagine how quickly you'll race out of town when I put my mind to it," Stefan bites back cruelly.

It always comes back to that. Stefan's not mad that I compelled him. After my rejection of his older brother, he's not even mad that I was with them both at the same time. He's still angry that I left without him. Ironic since that's the one decision I don't regret.

"I didn't have a lot of options back then Stefan," I reply defensively. "In 1864, I didn't have any hope of killing Klaus, and he spent centuries hunting me down like a dog. Sooner or later you would have gotten caught up in that too, and it would have gotten you killed," I explain. Stefan's mask wavers for a second. The warmth in his eyes reemerges for a moment at my confession, but Stefan wraps himself up in sarcastic remarks, so no one can hurt him anymore.

"Your concern for my wellbeing is touching, but save it for someone who believes you," Stefan responds mockingly.

I throw my hands up in the air, release an aggravated sigh, and curse fate for making me fall for an eternally angsty teenager. "Fine, you don't want to believe me or trust me, that's your choice, but I'm not bailing this time. One day you're gonna wake up and realize that I'm the only one who's still here, the only person who isn't going to give up just because you're mean to me," I reassure him.

This catches his attention, because despite his best efforts, I still haven't left. However, Stefan still doesn't trust my motives or my dedication to him, so he tests the waters with a question he pretends not to care about. "Why's that, don't you have something better to do with your eternal existence," Stefan asks looks expectantly at me for an answer he can understand.

Probably not the ideal moment to respond with sarcasm, but his distrust was starting to piss me off. "I have a lot of things I could be doing instead of talking to a moping vampire who can't find a middle ground between holier than thou saint or reckless mass murderer," I accuse unsympathetically This allegation wounds Stefan more than he would care to admit, so he looks away hoping I don't notice the shame present on his face. I release a breath and regret my sudden outburst. It might have been true, but it didn't help my cause much. Most of the sarcasm has left my voice before I speak to him again. I still don't allow my voice to betray my true vulnerability, but I do point out the truth.

"Look around Stefan. I'm still here, because in case you haven't noticed, I can be a much bigger bitch than you, but you still found a way to love me. I left you. I hurt you. Maybe you want to hate me. Maybe you want me to suffer, but I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of being right. I'm not gonna leave again. I am going to stay here, even when you're a jerk, even when you push me away. Your precious little girlfriend didn't wait more than a day to give up on you, but I will wait for you forever. Who else can say that? Who else ever has," I ask rhetorically?

Stefan takes a minute to gather his thoughts. My words are affecting him, but he still won't just admit it. He always did make everything entirely too difficult. With a tired tone in his voice, Stefan asks, "What do you want from me Katherine?"

This is my breaking point. I'm more than just honest. I'm more than just vulnerable. For the first time in 145 years, I'm real.

"I want the man who told me that he saw an angel when he looked at me and that the touch of my skin made his entire body ignite. You saw something in me, and it wasn't because I compelled you not to fear me. Whatever you saw, it was real. Maybe I just want something real again," I admit. In that instant, I swear I almost have Stefan back, because he is gazing at me in a way that he hasn't since he was human, if only the moment hadn't been interrupted.

"Downright touching," Damon sarcastically mocks from the doorway. I shoot Damon a death glare, which he ignores and continues with the mockery. "And her heart grew three sizes that day," Damon recites the familiar words to How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Trying to reclaim some of my former dignity, I respond back with an equal level of sarcasm. "Have you never heard the term private moment?"

Damon only smiles at my aggravation, clearly enjoying it far too much. "Have you ever heard the expression couldn't give a rat's ass," Damon jokes resentfully?

"Why are you here," Stefan interrupts, clearly fed up with Damon and I's back and forth?

"I need to talk to you about Elena," Damon states, because apparently he has a death wish. One phrase and Damon undoes all the progress I made this morning. Stefan looks more pissed off and distant than ever. Stefan comes up with the most hurtful response he can think of before responding.

"Trouble in paradise already," Stefan asks bitterly? "She hasn't even been yours for 24 hours. Surely she couldn't have discarded you already," Stefan feigns shock at the idea? Damon appears about ready to blow, but he restrains himself from physically lashing out. His anger does lead his voice level to rise to almost yelling.

"For one second will you cut out the jealous vampire crap? Future Elena is going to die soon if we do nothing."

Stefan stands shocked and confused. Damon doesn't offer any more details, but I know what we're both thinking. Damon said future Elena would die, that must mean it is related to her time travel. She was never meant to survive this. "What about current Elena," Stefan asks after a long stretch of silence?

Damon answers his question without incident, but I should have known that could never last. "As far as I can tell she'll be fine and live a long and fruitful life," Damon responds lost in his own thoughts. Stefan takes a moment to consider this, and then responds with a question so idiotic, I almost want to punch him for his stupidity.

"Then why does it matter," Stefan asks, sounding almost confused at the supposed problem? Damon is enraged at his brother's words. He grabs him by the shirt and slams him against the wall. I briefly consider intervening, but I realize this is family business, and if I stick my pretty nose in, it will likely get flattened.

"Are you even hearing yourself right now," Damon barks his question, near madness by the looks of it? "Elena traveled through time to fix your mistake, a mistake I might add that cost her everything, and she's going to die because of that. Can you honestly tell me that you would feel nothing for her dying," Damon questions, desperately hoping for some spark of humanity left. His brother's answer physically deflates him and destroys all optimism.

"Yes I can," Stefan lies persuasively. His face set hard as stone.

Damon of course doesn't give up after a minor setback. "Well if heartfelt pleas won't work, let's see how you respond to acts of violence," Damon threatens with his right hand now firmly locked around Stefan's throat. "Listen close brother," Damon orders. "Elena is the one good thing that's ever happened to me, the only good thing. If she dies, and you don't do everything possible to stop it, I will make you suffer the likes of which you've never even seen before," Damon warns menacingly.

Stefan doesn't appear fazed by the threats. If anything, Stefan grows cockier after Damon's threats. "You won't kill me," Stefan claims confidently.

"Probably not," Damon concedes, "but I will dedicate myself to the eradication of every happiness you've ever known. It took me 145 years to overcome one grudge. How many centuries do you think I will spend plotting your destruction if she dies," Damon reasons with an eerie sense of calm in his voice?

I finally pick my moment to intercede before their fighting grows any worse. "We'll help Damon," I offer quickly. Damon stares in disbelief at my agreement. I throw in an insult just so he won't think I'm going soft. "As much as I might loathe that tiresome little twit, I guess I owe you a few favors for ruining your life. I can talk to some witches and see what they can do," I propose diplomatically. Damon nods his head as a form of gratitude. Right before he makes his exit, he stops and remarks, "If it was anyone else, I might say thank you."

Knowing that the sentiment was not an easy one to express, I meet him halfway. "If I were anyone else, I might say you're welcome." Damon nods again in recognition and leaves me alone with his brother.

Apparently still reeling from the face off with Damon, Stefan responds angrily to my rather gracious offer of assistance. "Why did you agree to help him," Stefan asks accusingly?

This right here is the problem with turning vampires too young. They're immature and can't see past their own emotions to see the bigger picture. Instead of responding back with another sarcastic comment that will get us nowhere, I decide to give honesty another chance.

"Because he's your brother, and one day when you allow yourself to feel again, he'll remember that you helped save her, and that will mean something," I sincerely answer. Stefan stares at me skeptically, and for the millionth time since I've come back, he questions my motives.

"Why do you care if Damon ever talks to me again," Stefan inquires cynically?

Stefan isn't wrong to doubt me. I ruined his relationship with Damon by not choosing while they were alive. I owe it to them both to try to fix this. "Because Damon is your closest connection to your humanity," I logically reason. Somehow without warning, a wave of sentimentality washes over me, and before I can stop it, I start acting nice and mushy. I pray it passes quickly, and I can chalk this up to temporary insanity.

"Your love for him transcends time, pain, death, and hatred. It is as eternal as our existence. Why do you think I wanted him to turn as well?" My question throws Stefan a little. Clearly this is a question he never let himself reflect upon. It is as if I have upset every belief that Stefan once held.

"I don't understand," Stefan states shakily. His cool exterior has melted, and now he just looks lost and dazed.

It always had to happen eventually, the moment I explained myself. I just hoped Stefan and I would be in a better place when I did, but no time like the present I suppose.

"Even in 1864, I knew that you needed your big brother more than you needed me, so I turned you both, so you wouldn't be alone while I was running. I never imagined that he would spend the rest of your eternity hating you. For that if nothing else, I am truly sorry." He budges, just a tiny bit, but it's a start.

"Thank you for the apology and for Damon," Stefan whispers, too silent to be heard by human ears.

"Ah, a glimmer of hope, just what I was waiting for," I earnestly state.

Another question seems to trouble Stefan's mind, and he starts talking before I can ask him what it is. "If you really love me like you say, why did you let me use you last night? You must have known I was only using you to make Elena jealous?"

Jealousy and anger bubble to the surface at the memory of Stefan fawning over his precious, innocent Elena. It was rather gratifying to see that idyllic image shattered forever at the sight of Elena on a date with Damon.

Without any hesitation, I admit the obvious. "Yes, I did realize that. Your caveman attempts at eliciting an emotional response were as transparent as they were foolish. They only drove Elena into your brother's arms," I remark casually.

Confusion once again enters Stefan's mind at my motives. "Then why stay with me," Stefan questions, bewildered by my behavior?

My face softens as I recount the memory. "Because there was a moment, just a moment, when you first saw me that night, where you looked in awe of me again, so that's why I stayed for the date."

"And the hate sex that nearly destroyed my bedroom," Stefan questions jokingly

"Partly I stayed because damn, you have improved since we were last together," I joke right back. "But mostly it was because right before you started tearing my clothes off, you stopped and looked into my eyes and asked if I was sure, just like you did our first time. Maybe I was feeling nostalgic, or maybe it was my turn to see something good left inside you," I explain hopefully.

Stefan's voice breaks our silence after my admission and his words sting more than I let on. "I still love Elena," Stefan confesses.

"I know that," painfully recognizing the obvious truth.

"It's going to be a long time before I can ever trust you again," Stefan states definitively.

"I know that too," I respond filled with a sense of possibility. Stefan is actually considering trusting me again. It might not be for another year or for another decade, but it's something, it is hope.

"You can't manipulate me or lie to me anymore," Stefan stipulates emphatically. "If this is going to work, we have to tell each other everything."

"No more secrets and no more lies I can live with, but no more making our exes jealous either. That stipulation is non-negotiable," I demand unquestionably.

"Deal," Stefan agrees.

I should be smiling and happy right now. The man that I love just laid down ground rules for our road to getting back together, but there is still one lie that may yet come between us. I promised honesty.

"If we're being all open, there is probably something I should tell you," I confess guiltily. "I didn't come here to help Elena kill Klaus. My initial plan was to offer Elena as a trade for my freedom. Elena only covered for me in exchange for my help against Klaus," I admit trying to muster up some remorse. It is rather difficult, since I don't feel any for my plan to hand Elena over. It was my life or hers, and I chose to save mine. What I do feel guilty for is the look of betrayal on Stefan's face. I'm sorry that I lied to him, and I'm sorry that I hurt him.

His voice reeks of disappointment as he quickly summarizes my actions. "You were going to sacrifice my girlfriend. How did you ever expect to win me back once she was dead at your hands," Stefan asks the legitimate question? I just wish I had a better answer.

"Truthfully, I was hoping I could be really sneaky about it, so you would never know it was me," I admit.

"And now you're asking me to trust you," Stefan questions indignantly? I grow defensive at his returning cool exterior.

"I could have lied," I remind him strongly. "Elena never would have told you, but I came clean. That has to count for something," I wait, silently hoping. Stefan considers my words and when he speaks, I let out a sigh of relief.

"It does mean something," he admits hesitantly. With a renewed sense of purpose, Stefan sits me down and explains our new arrangement. "Here's where we're at. We are not together. You and I are not a couple. I don't trust you. I may never trust you, but because of your honesty, I will try to find a way not to hate you. Maybe one day, I could do more than just tolerate you. But this is all you get, one last chance to prove to me that you can be trusted," Stefan finishes offering me his deal.

I'm happy beyond words, but I don't betray my true feelings except for a tiny smirk and I ask, "So what now?"

Stefan mimics my smirk and reminds me of our new mission. "Now, we find a way to save future Elena, so my brother doesn't spend the rest of eternity making our lives Hell."

"Let's get to work," I reply with a genuine smile.

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