For starters, I am so sorry that it took me forever to update again. It was only partially my fault. My computer broke, and it took forever to fix. I somehow broke my hard drive, no idea how I even did that. Anyway, the new episode inspired me to write my next chapter. I hope the chapters will come easier now, because I have story boarded how I want the rest of the story to go. It is kind of overwhelming, because it seems like I have at least 10 more chapters to go, but I promised myself that I would finish this, and I will. After that I will never write another long, long story again. I am strictly sticking to stories with 8 chapters or less. It keeps my motivation up. When I was mapping out the timeline of the actual story and the alternate timeline, I realized how little time has passed. We are only on Day 4 after 24 chapters, but everything has changed in those first three days. I still have to finish Days 4-7, and Day 7 will be the full moon/sacrifice. Each day encompasses several chapters, so this story could be going on forever. I tried to stick to the timeline of the show, so assuming there were a few days in between episode 2 and episode 3, this should be pretty accurate. I hope it was worth the wait, and please leave me a review. They make my day.
Future Elena's POV
I wake up expecting to see Damon's sleeping form lying next to me, but as I look around all I see is empty space and the poor abandoned teddy bear from last night. A frown momentarily appears at his absence until I look up to see his soulful blue eyes gazing at me from the door. His arms are filled with what looks like breakfast in bed. I perk right up as he sets the tray on my lap and places an unexpected good morning kiss on my cheek.
The action takes me by surprise and I release a not so quiet gasp. Damon's face is still dangerously close to mine as we briefly share the same air. All coherent thought leaves my mind as I feel the special pull between Damon and I grow stronger with every beat of my heart. Without thinking, I grab Damon's face and crush his lips against mine. He takes a moment to recover from shock before he is kissing me back full force. The tray of food is quickly forgotten and pushed aside as Damon crawls into the bed and lingers on top of me. His hands move so quickly across my skin, and my whole body feels like it's on fire. It takes all my willpower and control to pull back.
"Bad, bad Elena," I quietly chastise myself.
Damon's playful smirk is extra wide after our little encounter, and the look on his face could best be described as glowing. "I disagree. That was very, very good my dear," Damon replies as cocky as ever. I can't help the smile that grows on my face, but it quickly becomes bittersweet when I have to remind him why what we just did was a bad idea.
"That was wrong of me and I'm sorry," I apologize sincerely. It isn't fair of me to keep doing this to him, not when he has someone else to share kisses with.
"Don't," Damon commands, his voice suddenly serious. "Don't apologize for kissing me or wanting me. You're the first person who ever has, so forgive me if I'm struggling to remember why we can't be together," Damon responds loudly.
He has that look in his eyes, the vulnerable open look that always seems to precede a hurt and wounded expression that pains me to gaze upon. Hurting Damon, causing him pain, it is like hitting a cute puppy with a stick. Once you do it, the puppy looks back at you so betrayed, like you were the one person he trusted in the whole world and you hurt him. That is what it feels like to hurt Damon. I would give almost anything to never see that look again. Sadly, I know my next words are going to hurt him. They always seem to.
I speak, not knowing if he is even listening. His back is turned, but he hasn't left yet, so clearly he is waiting for a reply. "We can't hurt her," I remind him. "You know that. I traveled across time so I could give her a happy ending. Do you realize how selfish it would be to try to steal that for myself," I reason calmly.
Damon turns back and pierces my soul with his question. "What if I chose you? What if this is what I want," Damon asks pleadingly?
My voice sounds tired to my own ears, despite just waking up from a restful night's sleep. "Even if it was, even if I could rationalize it to myself, there still is the ever present problem of my imminent death," I remind Damon sadly. He flinches at the mention of my dying. It is clearly a fact that he wishes to ignore. We always were both terrific at living in denial, but we both need to face reality now.
Damon's voice is now laced with determination and there is a spark that reappears behind his eyes as he speaks. "I have Stefan and Katherine helping me on this little crusade. Katherine has contacts in the witching community. They are looking for something, anything that could save you," Damon explains unwaveringly.
My shoulders slump under the weight of his hopefulness, because it kills me to crush it. "I can't be saved Damon. You need to accept it," I plead desperately.
"I can't," Damon chokes out. Tears fill his eyes and I reach my hand up to brush them away, and he grabs it, holding it within his own. "Please, just let me try," Damon begs. He's never going to let this go. This is the same man who spent almost a century and a half trying to reunite with Katherine. He didn't give up on her. It was foolish to think I could convince him to give up on me.
"There might be one way," I admit cautiously. I don't want to give Damon false hope, but I can't bear him spending our last days together chasing a cure that doesn't exist. "You have to promise me something first," I stipulate.
Hope is renewed in his eyes and he hangs on my every word. "Anything," Damon agrees without hesitation.
I take a heavy breath before continuing. "If I can be helped, there is only one way," I explain. "If it doesn't work out, if they say that I can't be saved, promise me that you'll let this go. If you can't promise that, I won't tell you what I know," I offer my ultimatum resolutely.
Once the words leave my mouth, I see the look again. Damon stares at me betrayed and hurt. He doesn't understand and likely never will. "You would do that? You would sacrifice your one chance at life, for what," Damon furiously demands?
My defensive streak rears its ugly head, and I start yelling right back. "For actually living in what little time I have left, that is what I would sacrifice all hope for. These witches might be able to save me, but if they can't than no one can. So promise me or let it go," I request, begging him to accept.
Damon runs his hands through his hair and starts pacing in the room. His voice breaks in the silence, and his words reignite bitterness in me that I had hoped died long ago. "You know you're really not being fair," Damon accuses.
A few words and I'm right back to where I was before, before the time travel and the therapy. Seven words are all it took to reawaken my angry feelings towards Stefan, towards the world, towards everyone.
"I learned a long time ago that fairness has nothing to do with it," I bitterly state. "I was sixteen years old when I became an orphan. What was fair about that? At seventeen, my birth mother, birth father, and my Aunt Jenna all died in less than a month. Show me the fairness and the justice in the world. I had to watch the man that I loved die right in front of my eyes as I stared on helpless to stop it. Preach to me now about the fairness of that day. Every family member I ever had and every friend I ever knew, save for Caroline, died a horrible death because they knew me, because they loved me. This world wasn't made to be fair," I claim cynically.
Damon makes no moves to disagree or dispute my claims. He knows far too much about the injustice of the world. For all my complaining, at least I had that many people who loved me. Damon's injustice is that it took 145 years for someone to finally see him and love him just as he was. I wonder what is worse, losing so many people that you love, or living lifetimes all alone. If it was up to me, I would take my cursed existence over his any day. It makes all the sense in the world that once he found that love that he would cling to it, and it is wrong of me to get angry at him for trying to keep me a little longer.
Damon's movement back to the bed shakes me from my inner thoughts. He sits down and after carefully considering his words, he agrees to my request. "I just need some hope," Damon explains. "If these witches say there is nothing they can do, I will try to accept that. I make no promises, but for you, I will try," Damon concedes with great difficulty.
Wanting to quickly move past the emotional intensity of the moment, I give him all the information that he needs to seek a little witchy help. "Tell Bonnie to go to the site where Emily Bennett was killed," I inform him quickly. "It is the site of a witch massacre. There are 1000 dead witches who she can ask for help. After that, tell her to swing by the boardinghouse. I need to hold another group pow wow," I instruct clinically and detached.
"What is this one about," Damon questions curiously, surprised and concerned by my sudden change in demeanor and topic.
"Staying in Mystic Falls when Klaus is on his way is too dangerous," I state plainly. "I'm sending Caroline, Tyler, Jeremy, Alaric, and Jenna on an extended vacation."
"Tyler doesn't even know about the supernatural. How were you planning on convincing him to attend your very dysfunctional family outing," Damon asks with a heavy dose of sarcasm?
"Compulsion always works," I offer as a solution. Damon looks taken aback at the suggestion. I don't know why he's surprised. I've asked him to compel my brother before. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and free will is a luxury that my loved ones cannot afford.
"Do you really expect everyone to just leave you right when you tell them that you are in danger," Damon points out, not realizing my true intentions?
"When I said compulsion, I meant all of them," I admit unapologetically. "Jenna started wearing a vervain necklace Alaric gave her after she found out about all this. Everyone else wears their vervain. It could be easily removed," I recommend.
"What about the blonde Barbie," Damon questions, clearly still unsure about my plan?
"I can convince Caroline it is the right thing to do, if I leave out a few details about the danger I am in," I answer confidently.
The mood is again tense with anxiety. It is flowing out of Damon and filling the room. His tone is worried and pitying as he speaks to me.
"Elena, if we aren't successful, if the witches can't save you, you will never see your family and friends again. Do you really want to miss out on what could be your last days without them," Damon asks uncertain?
"Of course I don't want to. The selfish part of me wants to keep them close, but they died once because Klaus used them against me and against Stefan, I swore that would never happen again. They need to leave," I state firmly.
For a moment, Damon just stares at me. It takes me a second to recognize the expression on his face. To my surprise, it is absolute wonder and awe. It makes me feel uncomfortable, so I ask, "Why are you staring?"
"I'm just amazed sometimes," Damon answers cryptically.
"By what," I ask hoping for more elaboration?
"By you," Damon replies sweetly. "As a vampire, you see lifetimes worth of selfishness and cruelty. You start to forget there is more to the world than just evil, but you remind me of mankind's capacity for selflessness and honor in a world devoid of all virtue."
It's my turn to be speechless and in awe. What does a person say to that? What words could express what I'm feeling right now. Love, adoration, and gratitude fail to express the appreciation I feel towards whatever higher power saw fit to bring this man into my life. I settle on a hug, because words always seemed to fail us, but actions never did. "You don't have to be scared you know," I whisper in his ear.
He looks back at me bewildered at what I could mean. "Scared of what," Damon asks genuinely confused?
"You don't have to be scared that the other me won't love you. I know that's why you're so afraid of me dying, but you don't have to worry. There could be a thousand versions of me from different timelines or realities and every single one would still choose you," I assure him.
Damon brushes my hair from my face and states, "If there were a thousand versions of you, and they were here with me, I would try and save every last one of them," Damon promises before placing a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I have to call Bonnie, and you need to eat your breakfast," he reminds me. I eat my breakfast and allow myself to wish impossible things, to wish that somehow the witches could grant me mercy and allow me to live. Even if I wasn't kissing Damon or going on dates with him or holding hands, his presence, the strength of his love was enough to live for.