Carrying on the Torch
Disclaimer: I don't own Good Luck Charlie
A/N:
Chapter 40 (Denial and Acceptance)
Dinner tasted great, roast chicken with honey-glazed potato wedges along with green beans. Charlotte licked her fingers right after tossing a potato fry for Amato, who instantly glommed it up. Skyler and PJ shook their heads at her, smiling as she laughed sheepishly. She knew they were not wanting to raise Amato on table scraps, but what would one time hurt? "We're saving a plate for Nana, right?" She grabbed the saran wrap from the counter and walked over to the table with a plate.
"Yes," PJ replied. Petunia should be getting home soon, so there wasn't much need to wrap a plate for her, but Charlotte wanted to do it anyway. She grabbed a piece of the chicken and set it on the plate while Skyler started scooping the fries onto it. PJ grabbed a spoonful of green beans and set it beside the chicken. The plate looked like a very hearty sample of meat, five potato fries, and a large scoop of beans. "Hopefully that's enough for her." Petunia didn't eat much, so it really could be too much for her. Skyler pulled out a sheet of the clear plastic wrap and tore it carefully from the box.
"It looks good." She wrapped the plate up and lifted her eyes up just as the doorbell chimed. "Charlotte dear, could you grab that?"
"Yeah." She rounded the table and rushed out into the living room. They weren't expecting anyone, so she didn't know who it could be at the door. When she opened it, she was stunned to see Ivy, Mason, and Henry. Shouldn't Mason be having fun at home? "Hey, what brings you guys here? Come in, we were just finishing dinner." She turned around and called for Skyler. Of course, the first to react was Amato, who came running through the room.
Ivy laughed as Amato put his paws on her legs and wagged his tail playfully. She bent over and rubbed the puppy's head. "Well look at the little sweetie." Charlotte reached down and ran her hand along Amato's back, grinning as his fur tickled her hand.
"He is a sweetheart. PJ thinks Amato's his dog, but Amato comes to my bed at night and cuddles up. So whose dog is he?" She smirked teasingly as the pup barked.
"Can't pin that one on PJ," Skyler commented from behind, laughing. Charlotte nearly jumped out of her skin and turned to see Skyler and PJ leaving the kitchen. PJ pointed his thumb to his wife and lifted his eyes up to the ceiling.
"The wife doesn't like the dog in our bed. Too much fur when-" He stopped and cleared his throat. Skyler closed her eyes and Charlotte raised a curious eyebrow. She turned towards her brother and crossed her arm, tapping her foot gently on the floor. Were they going to be worrying about another baby anytime soon with these two? "Anyway, what brings you here?'
"Well for one, we wanted to say thank you," Ivy said with a subtle smile. They walked inside and Charlotte shut the door. She sat on the couch with Mason, PJ moved to the recliner off to the right of the couch, then Henry and Ivy took a seat on the smaller couch off to the left. Skyler sat down next to Charlotte. "Emmett's parents came over today, you should have seen it. They said Charlotte convinced them to come by." Charlotte blushed as PJ and Skyler turned their attention to her, she forgot to mention her visit to them.
"You meddled again?" Skyler asked with a sly smirk.
"Well I didn't think it was right for Tyler and Mason to be abandoned because the parents didn't agree with their son. It wasn't fair."
"Agreed, it isn't." Skyler put her arm around her shoulders and smiled reassuringly. "I'm proud of you. I don't think it was good to go do that without telling us though."
"Yeah, I'm sorry." It was kind of the spur of the moment thing, even though she planned it. She looked over to Mason and put her hand onto his. "Did you have a good day, Mason?" He smiled pleasantly and nodded.
"Yeah, and even better, Uncle Emmett decided it would be okay for us to date." She gasped and her lips grew into a wide smile. The others grinned as he explained the situation. "We wanted to come over and thank you personally, he didn't want to come because well…he's still got a problem with Mr. Duncan." PJ scoffed and folded his arms over, shaking his head.
"Of course he does." Mason looked over at him for a second, then turned back to Charlotte.
"His words were, you were a good person and he wasn't going to keep us apart if we didn't want to be. Though he still says to be careful, apparently…and he's still pissed with Mr. Duncan. I mean, I can understand why, it's just…seems a little odd."
"It just has to do with that plane accident," Ivy stated simply. Her eyes dropped momentarily, then rose to PJ. "I can kind of understand." PJ lowered his arms to the armrests and met Ivy's gaze.
"It's been twelve, almost thirteen years. I know he's upset because I shut him out, but honestly-"
"It's not just that." Ivy took a deep breath and leaned back in her seat. PJ watched her closely, a growing curiosity welling from deep inside. He looked to the others, they were remaining silent, no one had anything to add to this. "Ask anyone, you shut us all out PJ, and it hurt. You weren't the only person suffering, but you thought you were. He needed you to be there for him then. Hell, I needed someone there for me, and then my mom died almost a year later. I don't think you quite understood that…"
"I understand that just fine." He leaned his head against his hand and closed his eyes, breathing in slowly. "Teddy was your best friend, of course you'd miss her. Emmett too." Ivy narrowed her eyes and slowly rose to her feet.
"Emmett is angry with you more because he knows what I went through and you didn't have the gall to say a word to me." What would he have said to her? 'Sorry about Teddy'? How the hell could he formulate words? "We could have been there for each other, that's what friends are for."
"It's true," Charlotte interjected. PJ looked over at her with an arched brow and opened his mouth, but paused as she continued. "Miss Keener went through hell the past twelve years. She just needed someone who understood what she was going through, someone who knew the problem…both of us were mourning them, and we helped each other come to a better understanding, to cope…"
PJ turned his eyes to Ivy and frowned, reeling in the guilt he felt. He couldn't say she wasn't a good friend, especially not back in the day. She was a great friend, whether or not she actually communicated with him that much. Everyone loved her. "You were like family to us, Ivy…I am sorry I didn't keep in touch with you, it was just hard."
"I understand that, PJ…" Her voice was almost whisper soft, her hands trembling. "I don't blame you for it, either. I probably would have shut everyone out too if I didn't have Emmett with me."
"It was that bad for you?"
"More than you can imagine…" She slipped her hands into her pant pockets and lowered her eyes. She seemed to be thinking hard about something. "You know, I can't remember a day we weren't all close, and I don't think T, or any of the Duncans, would ever have wanted us to separate. The last thing Teddy told me, I guess I didn't really do…"
"What do you mean?"
"Teddy was creating a video diary on the plane, PJ…" PJ's eyes widened and Charlotte let out a soft gasp. This was what they'd thought about before, but they didn't know if she would have seriously made one on the plane. "I think…I think she wanted you all to see it, and I could never delete it, but…"
"You…you're saying you saw the accident?" Ivy stared for a few minutes, silent and shaky, almost as though she were trying desperately not to cry. She pressed her lips tight together and slowly nodded her head. Skyler moved her hand to her mouth and Charlotte felt her stomach knot up.
"I went off to talk to Emmett on the phone, we left the webcam on because of the video diary, and when I came back…" She looked down to her right hand and flinched. "I still have it saved, I don't know why really…the video diary was about their time in Hawaii, and the last few…last few seconds, she gave her last words…I guess it's because they were her last words that I just couldn't destroy the video. God I wanted to…"
PJ rose to his feet and walked over, watching sadly as the tears ran down her cheeks. He extended his arms and hugged her, catching her by surprise. His face became hard and his eyes clenched shut. "I'm sorry Ivy. I really am. I…never knew you actually saw the whole thing…"
"It was devastating! You can't understand just how devastating it was to actually see it. To know…everything…that happened." He rubbed her back and slowly opened his eyes, frowning at the others. Charlotte bowed her head and clenched her hands. Ivy was right, they didn't know what it was like, hearing Teddy's final words, knowing what happened. Would it bring any kind of closure to know? Would it bring any kind of realization, or acceptance, or even finality?
"You're right Ivy, I don't know. None of us know except you, and you've kept it with you all this time?" She nodded as he stepped back and put his hands to her arms, gazing softly into her eyes. "I know it's hard, but…I want to know…what my family's last moments were like."
"PJ…that nightmare."
"You've said it yourself, I shut myself off from everyone, and no one deserved it. Up until recently, I've been in denial, that's what Skyler said…for twelve years…I kept believing they would come back." She bowed her head and his hands lowered to his sides.
"It's probably why he shut everyone out," Charlotte muttered. The others glanced over at her as she heaved a heavy sigh. She honestly wanted to see her sister's final video. She didn't know why, other than the thought that it really would bring her to a level of finality, giving her, everyone, a chance to realize that the family really was gone. "It's hard to live in denial of something when everyone around you knows the truth." This would be a big step, if anything, for PJ. Maybe even his first real step to recovery, to truly coping. Hers as well. "If my sister had anything left to say to me…I really want to know…" She felt Skyler's hand on her back and looked up to the woman's tearful, concerned gaze.
"Are you sure, baby?"
"Yes. I just…I can't explain it, I just want to be able to say with certainty that I accept it. That I can truly move on. I want PJ to be able to say it too! Hold on…" She rose from the couch and moved to her bedroom, she grabbed Teddy's laptop from her desk, then made her way back into the living room. "Mrs. Heglin, I know it's difficult for you, but…can we work through this, together?" Ivy raised an eyebrow and looked over to PJ, who gave her a gentle nod. He seemed ready to handle this. Ivy closed her eyes and slowly pulled a flash drive from her right pocket.
"The video is on this…"
After a few minutes, PJ had a cord hooked from the computer to the television, so the video could play on the television and everyone wouldn't have to huddle together. The seating arrangement changed, to the point that Skyler, Ivy, and PJ were sitting on the long couch, with PJ in the middle of the girls. Mason and Charlotte were on the two seat couch and Henry moved into the recliner.
Ivy's flash drive was in the USB port, and the video was ready to play. It was plastered on the television, and everyone was staring at the frozen image of Teddy's smile with tears in their eyes. Skyler held onto PJ's hand and Ivy turned her eyes away, she'd clearly not laid eyes on that video in years. Mason held onto Charlotte's left hand, and her right hand shook upon the mouse pad. She needed to press play, but she was scared.
She looked to Mason, who squeezed her hand reassuringly. She swallowed down her fear and closed her eyes as she hit the play button. She sighed, hearing her sister's familiar voice along with Ivy's, somehow the plane's roar wasn't concealing the voices at all. She opened her eyes and looked to the television. Teddy was wearing a beautiful blue shirt, pleated shoulders. It resembled a ball gown. Her hair fell beautifully over her shoulders and matched her wonderfully tanned skin. Her eyes were full of life, and her lips were curled into their usual smile.
"Hello Charlie! Guess where we are!" Gabe could be heard in the background, talking to PJ on the phone. Teddy turned her head to Gabe and laughed as she turned the webcam to him. He did a double take and extended his hand, covering up the camera. "Don't mind him, he's still a bit upset. He never wanted to go on this trip. Well we made it to Hawaii without any problems."
"You're on Hana Air, right?" Ivy perked up. "I looked them up, they don't seem all that reputable."
"Again Ivy, don't say that! You know Gabe's been freaking out!" Teddy's face gave away her own insecurity, revealing that she too had been feeling rather uncomfortable in regards to the plane ride.
"Sorry T. You'll be home in a couple hours, right?"
"Yes, and then you and I are so having a talk about what's been going on with you and Emmett!"
Ivy chuckled through her tears as the others slowly looked to her. She folded her hands into her lap and bowed her head, the video continued.
"Anyway Charlie, and I guess PJ too, because you're not here. Mom and Dad forgot you had this important doctor's appointment, and it was way too late to reschedule, so you couldn't come along. That's fine, but you missed a fantastic time! There was this extremely cute boy named Kai, and oh god if Mom hadn't decided to get the family cursed, we might have kissed!"
"I didn't get the family cursed!" Amy exclaimed in her defense. "I just ticked off a shopkeeper. It's all for show. Though it did get me thinking…what would happen if Gabe was right? Not saying he is, planes are typically safe." Teddy raised an eyebrow at her mother as Amy and Bob looked back at her. "What would we say? I mean, if this were our last day, what would you want to say to PJ and Charlie?"
"Kind of a weird time to think about that stuff, don't you think, Mom? I mean really, death?" Ivy groaned and Bob shook his head. Amy was having a weird moment, but no one could explain why. Teddy took a deep breath and lifted her shoulders, humoring her mother. "I guess I'd want to remind PJ to be strong, I'd want Charlie to grow up happy, the both of them…I'd probably ask them to be sure not to push anyone away, because they'd need their friends. Right?"
"Yeah…friends are very important. If PJ's anything like Bob is-"
"You think I'd shut people out?" Bob asked with a mild scoff. He thought about the subject for a moment and pulled his lips back into a frown. "Actually yeah I would, but seriously…let's move away from this subject please? I'm starting to feel a little funky."
PJ coughed and tugged on his shirt while trying to shake off the tears coming to his eyes. Charlotte's eyes were glued to the screen, what brought Amy to this point, she wondered. It was scary, seeing this, just moments before the plane crash. Would she even be able to take the crash?
Even if Ivy tried to stop the video, she wanted to see those final moments. Why? She didn't know. She thought herself a little weird for it, but it had to be done.
"Sorry guys, I don't know what came over me, to be honest…"
Teddy looked back to Ivy and lifted her eyebrows, chuckling nervously. "Well that was awkward. Sorry about all that, Ivy. Now, where were we?"
"Um, you were telling Charlie about your time in Hawaii, T…"
"Right! So…" Teddy tucked her hair behind her ear and let her cheekbones rise with her voice. "Dad decided to buy this timeshare, which he ended up keeping…" She paused and pointed at the screen. "Future reference, the timeshare means the family can go to Hawaii free of charge! Lifetime membership."
She had a fleeting thought, as to whether it would still be valid, though it was the furthest thing from her mind. The more this video went, the harder it was to watch, just knowing what was coming. Her heart was beating erratically, sweat was drenching her body, and she was almost certain that Mason was losing all blood loss in his hand right about now.
"Another thing Charlie, never let go of your friends, and always be true to who you are. Following your heart is the best way to live life to the fullest, but use your brain too. Life will always be rough, I know, but in the end…if you're strong, if you're vigilant, true to yourself and to those who care about you, you'll go far…" She blinked and lifted her head. Where the hell had that come from? Ivy voiced that exact thought, and she shook her head in response. "I have no idea…"
"This is turning out a little more depressing than I thought it was going to be."
"Sorry, I'm in a bit of a funk myself, I'm not sure what's got me feeling that way, Ivy."
"It's okay girl, just relax. We'll all be here when you get home. Nobody's going anywhere."
"Yeah." Suddenly Ivy's phone started blaring from the other room. Ivy gasped and looked back as her mom called out that it was Emmett. She seemed to be debating whether or not to answer the phone, so Teddy gave her a reassuring smile and waved her hand in the air. "Go answer the phone, we'll be here."
"Okay…"
Teddy took a deep breath as Ivy left the room. She smiled and gazed out the window. "You know something Charlie? PJ? Family…it doesn't have to be reserved for just Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa…I think I've learned that over the years, and thinking about what Mom said. If I had one final lesson to teach you, it would be this: Most of all, never part with family, and that includes friends. No matter what, true friends are, and should be valued, as family…try not to leave them hanging."
Charlotte started to choke up, closing her eyes and bowing her head. Even PJ was trembling, both were frozen in their seats. Skyler was wiping her eyes and Ivy had her head in her hands. She was muttering apologies to Teddy. PJ eventually started patting her back, telling her it wasn't her fault. Then it happened. Ivy let out a shaky gasp and her eyes flew to the screen. PJ froze and Charlotte's body tensed as they heard the Pilot's voice come over the intercom, warning them of trouble.
Charlotte's heart began sinking as she heard Gabe's gasp. PJ's eyes widened as the familiar clattering of the phone echoed through the house.
"Here we go again," Teddy muttered while rolling her eyes. Thunder rumbled and lighting flashed, causing Teddy to jump in her seat. The camera shook a bit, but steadied in her lap. "Gabe it's just a storm. Gabe? Sit down!" Gabe had gotten up to retrieve the phone. Teddy gazed with concern as her father rose to catch him.
"Everyone relax!" Amy exclaimed with a demanding tone. "The pilot said for everyone to remain seated!" The passengers began screaming that the lightning hit the plane's wing. Teddy stared with wide eyes and slowly turned her gaze to the wing on her side, it had been struck too.
"No…Mom, look!" Amy turned her head and screamed.
"Bob! Gabe! Hurry-" Her voice was interrupted by a thud and a groan. Teddy looked back and screamed at the sight. The camera had managed to capture the scene of the plane pushing Bob down on top of Gabe, and snapping his neck beneath one of the airport chairs.
"Dad! Dad get up!"
"Bob!" Teddy looked up as Amy started to rise from the seat, but a stewardess grabbed her before she could get to him. "Let me go! I need to reach my husband! My son! Let me go!"
Realizing the futility of the situation, Teddy started hyperventilating. Her body was trembling and her fingers were scrambling for the seatbelt. She'd moved the laptop into Gabe's seat in her haste. Her struggling seemed in vain. "Please be okay, please be okay, oh god be okay!"
She froze as the copilot's voice came over the intercom this time, he was stating that the pilot was now dead, and he was at a loss of what to do. He was giving up. Her eyes filled with fear and her body fell limp into the chair. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but she couldn't.
Suddenly a loud whistling noise erupted from the intercom, and then, silence. Gabe gasped out his final breath, uttering his girlfriend's name, before suffocating beneath his father. Amy slowly fell to her knees and started weeping for the loss of her son and husband.
"T-This is really happening…" She slowly turned her head to the camera, remembering that it was on. Fresh tears moved to her eyes and a choked sob fled her lips. Her eyes were dull, emotionless, devoid of all hope. "Ch-Charlie…we love you, baby sister. Please, always remember that." She whimpered once as she stared at her best friend's empty chair, Ivy was still talking to Emmett. "Ivy, if you see this. I know…I know Dad was right about PJ, and how he is. Don't let…don't let him distance himself from everyone, he'll do that."
The plane shook once more and Teddy clenched her eyes shut. She was accepting that this was the end. "Realize, we'll always love you guys, we always have. Don't forget us…don't spend all the time mourning, remember us, but don't forget us. Enjoy your life…growing up…good luck doesn't apply here…" She moved her hand to her chest and whispered. "God I don't want to die!" She started to weep frantically, almost pleading to survive this.
After a few seconds, she stopped and opened her eyes. Her eyebrows meshed together and lifted up as her lips quivered. "All that's left is…goodbye, I don't want to say it. Please, stay close, don't ever say goodbye to family, to friends…" She moved her wrist to her eyes and wiped away her tears. "Charlie, PJ, Ivy, Jo, Emmett, everyone of you…I…" She shook her head. "No, we…we love you, all of you. Good-" A loud metallic crash came from the front end and Teddy's eyes widened as a crushing roar ran through the plane, tearing it apart. Her hair blew past her face as her eyes revealed one final thing. Acceptance.
The video cut off and silence filled the air. No one could be angry, no one could deny that the family had accepted their death, but the video struck everyone deep in the heart. The finality that Charlotte and PJ wanted, they got, and it was painful as hell.
"T-Twelve years later," Skyler said with a shaky voice. "Maybe now…is a good time…to talk about it…" Charlotte had her tears, but she wasn't sobbing. She, and PJ, were smiling. But why?
"They already accepted it," Charlotte whispered. The others looked to her as she slowly rose to her feet. She took a step forward, nearly stumbling as she did so, and met PJ's eyes. "They don't want us to be said, they want us to be happy…don't they?" PJ wiped his own eyes and closed his hands on his jeans.
"Yeah, I just…I think I needed to see that." He turned his gaze to Ivy, meeting her somber expression. "Ivy, I'm sorry. I really am. Thank you…for showing that…I know it was hard…"
"Why did you have to push away the rest of us?" Ivy asked beneath her breath. "Teddy never wanted that. Why did you do it?"
"Stupidity….I needed some time to think…"
"You had twelve years." Her face tensed and she sobbed once. "Twelve years you had to think about it. Even Emmett's seen this video, and I told him I'd show it to you…I don't know what it's going to take for him to come around, but I do know that I wish…I wish we could have still been friends. You were like a brother to me, no doubt about that, and you just pushed me right out the door. You didn't even think anyone else would be hurting! I came back to the computer, wondering why Teddy turned off the video chat, and then I had to see this…I wanted so badly to talk to you, to talk to anyone. I only had mom, dad, and Emmett. That was it."
"I'm sorry, Ivy."
"It hurt to see you coming around for Alice, for the Dooley's, and a few other people…granted it was mostly Skyler's doing…" There was truly no justification of his pushing anyone away. He wanted to pretend that the family would come back safe and sound, he wanted to act like there was nothing wrong, and so naturally he turned away those closest to the other relatives, because they were just a reminder. "I know why you didn't push Skyler away, because she was the only one close enough to you that you didn't put up your walls to, but…not once did you think to lower your walls for anyone else."
"I know, I didn't want to accept that my family was gone. Maybe…maybe we can start over, Ivy? I don't know how to start over with Emmett, but with you, I'm willing to try." Everyone remained silent as Ivy studied him for the moment. She breathed in slowly and carefully nodded her head.
"You won't push me away?"
"I'll try not to. You were a good friend, I know Teddy valued your friendship, and so did I…so…" He extended his hand and smiled warily. "I'm PJ Duncan. It's been a while…"
"That is so cheesy." She hiccupped and quickly shook his hand, brushing away a tear with her free hand. "Ivy Heglin…" Charlotte smiled tenderly and walked over to the two. She had a great idea, one that would help move them in the right direction to not only accepting the passing of the family, but to restoring, or restarting, their friendship.
"Hey, Mrs. Heglin? PJ?" The two glanced over at her. She stood straight and had a momentary bit of uncertainty that she brushed away. "I was thinking, maybe we can talk more about the memory of Mom, Dad, Teddy, Gabe…and even your mom, Mrs. Heglin." Ivy smiled at her as she snapped her fingers thoughtfully. "I know they're all up there, watching us…Mason says their spirits are probably around us, trying to take care of us, so…instead of being said…let's remember them?"
"I think that's a great idea," Skyler chimed. A glint of pride shone in her eyes while Ivy and PJ simply exchanged curious glances. "Let's do that, and we can go from there…"
Emotional.