Chapter 14 Slow

The door banged closed and Randy was left with hurt confusion. He had no idea what he did wrong, one minute she was the fine and the next she's freaking out. He just couldn't understand why, usually Raven had no problem telling him if there was something wrong, but even her words had failed her this time, she just wanted to get the hell away from him. Sighing in nothing but pure sadness Randy picked himself up and headed towards bed. There was nothing else he could do. Randy wanted to go after her but he couldn't, Raven had to sort through this on her own, Randy could only hope that she came back to him. Flicking off the lights he carried himself up the stairs towards his bedroom, sadly as always, he was going to bed alone. Everything he did that was mundane seemed worse to him, it was still in his head that Raven had freaked out on him, every possible answer as to why just wasn't connecting to his brain and he was still at a loss. Keeping himself together he slid into bed and pulled the covers up, closing his eyes he could at least dream of her. In his dreams everything was perfect and Raven was completely his to take. His eyes suddenly sprung open and right in front of his beautiful blue eyes was the answer. That didn't help him because it only bought on more questions. Randy settled down again, now that he knew the problem (at least he thought he did) he could find a way around it. With any luck Raven would let him.

Raven's POV

I wasn't looking forward to work this morning, it would only be a count down until I had to talk to Randy about what happened and then it would be a countdown to him breaking up with me. As I got ready for work I kept agonizing over what I was going to say and do, I had no clue which was a bad sign, I always knew what I was doing, somewhat. I had just pulled on my boots when the chimes went off, looks like the day was ready to begin. I should of known that the big man upstairs wouldn't let me have a few moments peace, or at least a few moments to prepare myself. The chimes went off again, annoyed I opened the door, I only got it open a few cracks before I quickly tried to shut it again,

"C'mon Raven, I just wanna talk!"

"Go away Phil!"

He kept barging against the wood, I wouldn't be able to hold it for long "Open this door Raven!"

"No!" I pushed my back against it, "Demon! Here boy!"

I had never been so happy to see a pissed off husky in all my life, as soon as he heard the barking Phil stopped trying to break in.

"I just wanted to tell you to watch your back, your little boss may know people, but so do I" He threatened before walking away. I made sure he was the hell away from me before I finally ventured off to work. Thanks to my own fear I was now late for work. This day could only get better right? Wrong, it was bound to get alot worse. Thats the way it goes.

"What time do you call this?" Randy asked when I finally got in, he didn't sound pissed that I was late, he sounded pissed and hurt about last night.

"Sorry boss, I had an un-welcome visitor"

Instantly his expression softened, "Are you alright?"

"I will be" I said brightly "So what have you got for me?"

"I need you to fill these out, fax these and then I need you to go over the contract with Glen Jacobs and please make sure he signs on the dotted line, that would be the best for everyone"

"And by everyone you mean?" I asked not looking at him, I simply couldn't look at him this early in the day. It was too painful.

"By everyone I mean him, it means I won't have to kick his ass" Randy joked softly, it didn't help lighten anything, it just made me more determined not to be alone with him. Right now, I just wanted to work. Work until I could work no more.

Around lunchtime I was finally called into Randy's office, I had been dreading it the moment I got into work, out of all the conversations I had had, this was the one I didn't want to have.

"Raven sit down" Randy gestured me to a seat after the door was shut, no one was going to interrupt this, at least that was the hope and dream. "Raven I would like to know what happened last night"

"Would you believe me if I said nothing?"

He let out a slight chuckle "No I wouldn't believe that, please just tell me the truth, I would very much like to know what I did wrong"

I let out a sigh "You didn't do anything wrong Randy"

"Then why did you bolt?"

I just stared at my lap, I didn't want to tell him my little secret. It wasn't anything extremely bad, a little shameful maybe but it still wasn't anything that I wanted to share, least of all here and now.

"Raven?" He pushed gently, "Please tell me so I know where we stand"

"Please don't make me say it"

"I'm sorry Raven but you are not leaving this office until you tell me why you bolted last night"

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack"

I closed my eyes slowly counting, trying to pluck up the courage to tell him. Even as I thought about it I wondered how it was even possible but then again, weirder much more fucked up things had happened, Randy wanting me being one of them. I whispered the little secret I was hiding, hopefully I would have to say it again.

Randy lent forward clearly confused. "What did you say?"

I looked him full in the face, there was no escape so I just had to man up and power through it. "I'm a virgin."

The whole office went silent and each silent pause was banging against my heart until it threatened to jump out of my chest. Any moment now it would be splattered on his back wall, that might actually look pretty cool to see, if I'm honest.

"How is that possible?" Randy asked confused, clearly he assumed that a boyfriend meant I had fucked him.

"Guess why Phil became an abusive asshole"

"Yeah that would do it"

"So thats why I freaked, now you know." I stood up actually feeling a little better now he knew I had nothing else to hide. Well except my past but weirdly enough, I wasn't actually concerned about him finding that out, yes I'm aware its fucked up, I was more concerned about him knowing about my lack of sexual experience and not about my dodgy past. I guess thats because this now affects him directly, my dodgy past didn't. Sure there would be questions but that I could handle. Anyways back to the topic at hand. "Well I'm going to get back to work, is it alright if I knock off around six? I was hoping to meet up with my sister, its about time we had dinner together"

"Raven where does this leave us?"

I shrugged a little, honestly (and I know I'm sounding a little bitchy) but I expected him to break it off and leave me to get on with my life. "Its up to you Randy, its your call whether or not you want to proceed"

He got up and cornered me against the door and his frame, "Ouchies"

"Did I hurt you?"

"Nah, it was the doorknob, you know, it kinda grows on you"

His soft fingers tilted my chin, making those cold blue connect with icy silver, "Raven I want to know, what do you want?"

"I want you, but I can't, everytime something new comes along I just freak out and I know thats not fair on you"

Soft lips brushed my core and for a moment I just couldn't think, nor did I want too. His lips were far too good for rational thought.

"Heres the deal, we take it slow and steady. The last thing I want is to hurt you"

I couldn't believe it, he still wanted me! The psycho with too many tattoos that had never been touched and gets freaked whenever she is, I told you this man was too good to be true. "Really?"

He pulled away from me, giving me distance prooving that every word he spoke was true. "Yes. We can go as slow as you need"

"Thank you"

"I just ask that before you leave this office, you will at least kiss me once more"

That I could do, tugging those lips back to mine I embraced him so happily that I forgot about everything else, maybe that was a good thing, perhaps this day could still pick up.