Oh CRAP! I haven't updated in forever! Ihope you guys are still reading, I'm so sorry!

Flavia's P.O.V

I'd gained my common sense back, and I was now laughing about the whole situation. Madara was staring at me, since Dinah fell asleep while we took a "short" break and he had no one to talk too.

"What... Are you laughing about?" He questions.

"Your brother," I break off in a fit of laughter. "Wh-Why would he *haha* take Momo and Kitsune? Man, I wish I could see what's going on there!"

Madara snickers, "Your right."

"C'mon, your pretty powerful, don't you have some kinda magical globe that'll show us what's going on."

"I don't have that but..."

I pass out for a few seconds and wake up in a new world. There were boxes EVERYWHERE!

"How dare you use Sharingan on me!" I shout as I find Madara.

"Just shut up and come on." The eldest Uchiha rolls his eyes. "Now where... Ah! Here it is."

He pushes open a box and busts out laughing. I glare at the too-high box and hop onto his back, busting out laughing also.

Izuna had just presented Kitsune and Momo with a huge bag of assorted condoms, of which they were splitting up evenly between each other.

'Look! This one's musical!'Momo squeals.

'Yes! Grape flavored!'Kitsune fist pumps.

Momo dumps everything out and searches frantically, 'Izuna-chan! You didn't get chocolate flavor! But you got grape for, Kitsune!'

'Cause he looooves me!'

'Kitsune, most Uchiha really hate you.'

'Nu-uh!'

'Sasuke hates you, Itachi avoids you, Madara... He dosen't count, you both relate to each other-'

'NII-SAN LOVES ME, AND YOU KNOW IT!'

'Sure he does, Kitsune.'

'He does-IZUNA! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM US!'Kitsune jumps onto the Uchiha's back, gripping tightly onto his hair.

You could tell how much Izuna wanted to just throw her across the room, but he resists. And I probably knew why... He needed to get on their good side. Izuna magically poofs up a sofa and sits in it, watching over the two teens.

"Oh the hell he's in for." Madara chuckles darkly.

"Wonder if he'll bring 'em back." I smirk.

We leave the Sharingan world, and I find that I am extremely. Tired now. I glare at the Uchiha who shrugs, as I blackout... Stupid after effects.

Izuna's P.O.V

I watch in pure annoyance as I sit in my own personal hell. They're insane! They're playing with freaking condoms. How does Madara deal with them?

"Bigger! Bigger! Bigger!" Momo chants as Kitsune blows up a black condom.

Kitsune blows one last time and the condom explodes, sticking to her face. Momo bursts into laughter, pointing at the red head.

"And you guys are playing with condoms because?" I sigh.

"Condoms are great! The provide protection!" Kitsune hops to her feet and points to herself. "It keeps THIS looking good."

"I don't even think you could handle a baby." Momo smirks. "But hey, at least it would blend in with the family."

"Eh?"

"Red-head and a blonde, baka."

"OOOHHH!"

Kitsune begins shoving quite a few musical and flavored condoms in her pocket, then a few normal ones. Momo laughs and nonchalantly slips a few in her shirt.

"Okay, close your eyes." Kitsune instructs, digging through the pile, Unwrapping a condom and holding it up to Momo's face. "What flavor?"

"Hmm," Momo pokes her tounge out and licks the condom. "I'm gonna say... Watermelon."

"Nice."

"Okay your turn,"

Kitsune grins, "Mmmm, coffee~!" She continues licking whatever flavor was left on that condom. "Decaf to be exact."

Both girls turn to me. Momo hops to her feet also, "Let's play house, Izuna-chan!"

"WHAT?"

Oh goody, Momo and Kitsune are somehow magically my kids. They run around around in circles with extremely long ribbons.

"Izuna-chan! Carry meeeee!" Kitsune shouts from across the room. "I'm not that heavy, I swear!"

Timeskip.

"Izuna-chan! I likes your hair, can I braid it?" Momo bounces up to me. "Plleaaaaaase? I could french braid it with my awesome Momo skills!"

Time. Skip.

"AHHH! IZUNA! MOMO GOT LUBE IN MY EYES!" Kitsune shreiks, rubbing her eyes furiously. "And it burrns! Cheap ass condom!"

"In my defense, you ran up on me." Momo pouts.

"You guys are idiots." I comment.

"We know."

Time. Fucking. Skip.

Kitsune sits in my lap and narrows her eyes at Momo, kicking her in the side.

"Ow, what the hell Kitsune!" Momo rubs her side.

"Payback for getting lube in my eyes."

"It was funny," Momo giggles.

"ANYWAYS!" Kitsune claps her hands together. "Izuna, you should always use protection! Whether it's a girl or a boy or an animal or a plant or a demon! You could get an STD or AIDS or you could get pregnant!"

"I'm a guy." I point out.

"Dosen't mean anything, your more of an uke type when it comes to most pairings, and we don't need anymore red-eyed babies running around here! Itachi and Madara are handling that."

"What about Sasuke?" Momo questions.

"Sasuke has a 10 inch dick, and it's going up his ass and it sure dosen't belong to him." I grumble. "Fucking prick, trying to kill Sakura and Karin."

"See, this is why he dosen't like you."

"Well, instead of trying to kill his brother he could, oh I don't know, rebuild his clan? I mean, he HAD a million fangirls, he could've gotten a bunch of Uchiha kids."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is, to have a kid you must have unprotected sex and cum inside, DUH! I WENT TO SEX ED, MOMO!"

"Whaddya mean I'm uke in most pairings!" I shove Kitsune off me.

"Welllll." Both girl look away awkwardly. "Your not paired with many, but the ones your are paired with happen to be."

Kitsune skips around the couch, "Uchiha's~!"

"That's sick." I glare.

"It's actually very hot."

"Sick."

"Just imagine it!" She tries her hardest to convince me.

"No thanks."

"You and Madara in bed-"

"Disgusting, we're brothers."

"-you sucking him off and then pulling him into a passonate kiss-"

"I don't wanna hear that!" I cover my ears.

She jumps on top of me and tries prying my hands away and talking louder, "-ramming his-"

"Shut up, Kitsune!"

"And you riding him-"

"Are you deaf?"

"-wine bottle-"

"Kitsune!"

"-hardcore bondage-"

I block out a majorite of her words succesfully until her mouth stops moving. I uncover my ears and glare at the perverted child.

"It would be very hot and sexy." She states triumphantly.

"First of all, I'm not gay, second: Madara's my brother. Third: Everything I heard was DISTURBING."

"...Are you bi?" Momo asks.

Another freaking time skip, someone shoot me.

"IZUNA! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE LAID!" Momo screams in my ear, waking me up from my quick rest.

"And you said he wasn't sleeping." Kitsune scoffs.

"That's none of your business." I scowl at the Hyuga.

"You sure your not bi or gay? Cause I have a friend-"

I quickly cut off the Uzumaki's most. Annoying. Kid. "Not intrested."

"You sure your not a little curious?"

"I'm sure,"

"You can top if that makes you feel confident?"

"Go away."

Momo whispers something in Kitsune's ear.

They laugh and curl up on the couch on either side of me, muttering quick good nights. I sigh in relief, finally able to leave, when Kitsune suddenly pops her head up and stares for a few moments.

"What?" I glare tiredly.

"Momo. Dude. I just realized something really messed up about your children's eyes." She nudges her friend until the girl pays attention.

"Hm?" Momo cocks her head to the side.

"Well, if Itachi's the daddy and an Uchiha and YOUR a Hyuga, your kids might have eyes like Izuna's!"

"..." Momo drops her head back down. "Way to traumatize me before I go to sleep."

"I'm do my job with pride." Kitsune grins tiredly, laying her head back down. "Night Izuna-chan!"

I grunt in reply and leave as quickly as possible. What a day.

Flavia's P.O.V

I wake up in time to find myself being dragged to the village gates. I glare at whoever was dragging me and snatch my foot away.

"You couldn't have carried me?" I snap at Itachi. "Sheesh, people these days."

I skip into my new "home" and go into the sweets shop to pick out something. I frown as I realize all the chocolate was GONE.

"Those little brats, eating all my chocolate." I grumble, exiting the store with a lollipop. I then sigh. "I wonder what's next...?"

"We take over Suna, then either destroy or ally with Sound." Itachi appears behind me.

"Oh yeah... What about Iwa?"

"That's the basic area Momo and Kitsune are,"

"Wait, how do you know?"

"I followed their chakra signiture for awhile, we may or may not destroy Iwa because it seems like Izuna is in charge their so it's up to Madara."

I blink slowly and stare up at the raven-haired Uchiha, "That's the longest sentence you have ever said."

"Wait, if you know where they are, let's go get them." Konan pops up out of nowhere.

"Yeah!" I cheer. "Let's bring Konan, Madara, Itachi, Hidan, Deidara and Kitsune's therapy tools!"

"Therapy tools?"

"Why yes, Konan."

"Well... Let's go get the others and go!"

Again, I'm reall really sorry for taking so long to update! D: