Carrying on the Torch

Disclaimer: I don't own Good Luck Charlie

A/N:

Chapter 47 (Learning to Let Go)

"How's it going there, wedding musician?" Charlotte joked to David, who was standing on the stage strumming a few chords. He looked towards her with arched eyebrows and an attractive smirk. They were at the reception for Spencer and Alice, and the joyous ceremony had already taken place. David had to prepare music and sing before the wedding, after the wedding, and during the reception. Now he was done, but still he played.

The stage was high, up to her waist. She leaned forward against it, listening as he strummed the notes. "Pretty good. How about yourself?" She lifted her shoulders and looked back, Regina and Dee were chatting up a storm with one another. Regina was extremely happy today, and she had every right to be.

"I'm all right. Mason's still in his coma though." David stopped and moved towards the edge of the seat, taking a seat beside her and the laptop on the edge. "It's really hard, you know…dealing with everything. I just wonder…why?" It was too much to deal with, to feel like everyone that came into her life would be taken from her. She knew she shouldn't be moping as she always was, but it was still difficult.

"I know how it feels, but I don't think Mason, or even your family would want you to dwell. You have to move along sometime, as hard as it is." She had moved on, so she thought. It still hurt every time she thought about them, be it her family or Mason, it still hurt. "So this is what has you down today? Though, you should be happy."

"I know, it irritates me that I'm not. I just…" She glanced towards the side and inhaled. A little overwhelmed, too much pressure on her shoulders. "I don't know. I know I shouldn't be upset anymore, what's done is done, but sometimes I feel like there could have been more said…mostly with Mason now." David lifted his head and closed his eyes, breathing out slowly.

"When my girlfriend passed, I didn't know what I'd do…" Charlotte felt a pang in her chest and glanced at him mournfully, recalling Erin's grave and the spirits that danced for her. She watched him bow his head towards his guitar as he slowly moved his thumb across the strings, playing that same song she always seemed to hear him playing. A slow tune, one that would instill a sense of nostalgia, a wave of memory, that would come from the tune of an old music box. "You know. Erin woke up that last day."

The place seemed to grow quiet as many eyes turned towards the two of them. David focused on his guitar, his face hardening just a moment. She started to reach up, but put her hand down. She didn't dare disturb him, and listened with a full heart. "She lived with her grandparents, you know. Her mother abandoned her and her father when she was young, and her dad took his own life several years later. She never cried, always smiled."

"She had a lot of friends. I remember."

"Yeah…" Though the memory was still vague, she loved to remember the beautiful redhead who could light up a room in an instant with a smile and a dance. "There was a poem she had memorized, one that her father attached to his goodbye note. When she woke up that final day, she told me not to cry for her when she left, and she recited that poem for me…so I think of that poem every now and then, I remember her and I play this tune for her."

"What was the poem?" She didn't want to intrude. She didn't want to open any old wounds, but she was intrigued. David smiled slightly and closed his eyes, still continuing to strum on his guitar.

"It was written in 1993 by David M. Romano, called 'When Tomorrow Starts Without me'." He began to recite the small poem, singing it a bit and closing his eyes. His voice was soft, quiet, but it seemed to shake everybody's soul and echo through the building.

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.

She said my place was ready
In heaven far above;
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye;
For all my life, I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad;
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

Charlie felt someone's hand upon her shoulder and looked back to see Regina and Dee behind her. Behind them, PJ and Skyler were listening, tears in their eyes. Could it be, they were thinking of the Duncan's? Her mind drifted towards them, to every memory she'd seen in those videos, and her heart cried out for them. Now there was Mason, and her heart dropped.

She wasn't alone in this, and never would be, there were people who felt the pain and the sorrow. However she knew, she just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, those above would be waiting for them all and one day they would be together.

Why live out the rest of the days in misery?

If I could relive yesterday
Just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home;
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.

She imagined Mason reciting this to her with her family, all of them tears in their eyes, but smiling. This was their way of saying they would be all right. "Don't cry for me, I'm fine."

She wiped her eyes and let her lips curl into a sad smile as tears streamed her cheeks. The image she got now was of David, kneeling beside Erin's bedside in her final moments, those fresh tears in his eyes as he rested his hands together on top of her belly, praying that she would live. She imagined her telling him those final words, that she would be okay, to not cry.

Her heart was strong enough that she could move on, she just needed to be brave enough to take that first step. She needed to be brave enough to use all the support that she had. For there were so many people that loved her here, so many that wanted to see her happy, just as her family and Mason would want to see.

She just had to learn how to let go.

He said, "This is eternity
And all I've promised you;
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it all starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
And since each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past."
"But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true;
Though at times you did do things,
You knew you shouldn't do."
"But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free;
So won't you take my hand
And share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.

In the heart, and nowhere else. The heart, the mind, all those memories that would play over and over again. Those were the things worth holding onto. As David strummed the final chord and spoke the last words, he slowly opened his eyes and stared down at the ground. "'There is no sense in focusing on the loss, mourning because they are gone, and holding on to something you won't have any more. Focus on the memories, mourn because you loved them, and hold on to the joys and happiness you felt when you were with them'. Many people forget the simple wish that their loved ones have for them when they pass, but it's the same that you or I would want for those in our lives."

"To be happy…"

"One of Erin's favorite songs was sung by Rascal Flatts, My Wish. She said her father would sing it to her every day before he left the world for a better place. She told me when she left, she wanted me to be happy, to move on from her, to learn to let go."

"Teddy said it too…" She bowed her head, remembering the final video that was shot on the plane.

On the stage, a golden light shone that only she could see. She carefully lifted her gaze and saw her family lined up. Every one of them, smiling at her. Even Erin appeared before them, spinning and dancing as she would always be remembered, so fondly by everyone whose heart she touched. Just like the family, those that remembered and loved them, those that would never forget, could move on freely.

"I understand. It's a frightening step really, but I'm okay with it. Letting go. If that's what it takes, but…I still don't feel like I want to lose Mason. I'm not ready for that…I'm just not. There's still that hope in my heart that he'll wake up one day."

"Then hold on to that hope as long as you can. When you're ready to let go, when you're ready to move on, only you will know. No one else." She pressed her lips in a thin line and slowly glazed the guitar with her eyes.

"Have you…learned to let go?"

"It took me a while, but I've moved on. Still think about her from time to time, but I keep going because I know that's what she would want."

"Right." It was what Mason would want too, probably, but she didn't want to give up on him. She really felt that she was ready to move on from her family, to miss them, but to let go. Mason, she wasn't ready. She questioned whether she would ever, truly, be ready. Maybe one day she would be. Perhaps that was a hope worth holding on to.

One thing was for sure, she would never forget the day they met, or the day they decided to date. Funny how quickly time flies, but memories are forever. A race was all it took to set the ball in motion, a tiny spark, and nothing more. She wanted to break down and cry, but she had done enough of that. Yet, there would come that day when, perhaps, she would not cry again.

"Thank you David…for your advice…"

"No problem. I guess it's what friends are for."

"Yeah." She lifted her eyes to Dee and Regina, both were moving in to hug her. She closed her eyes and slowly breathed in as David went back to his guitar. "Exactly what friends are for…"

So she's finally moving on, finally learning to let go. All the paths have closed but one, and there's just one thing left.