4.16 His Thoughts Were Red Thoughts
There are many things that you don't like of this last case so far.
You hate Styles. You can't help it, you don't know if it's because you are a Catholic and, like Jane says, a little bigot, or simply because it's him, a master manipulator playing with people's emotions. You saw how he played – manipulated- Van Pelt, and you saw how he had always took enjoyment in torturing, one way or the other, Jane- so similar to him, and yet so different.
The fact that the jerk could be connected to Red John- probably is, because he always knows everything, he knows too much, and he knows of Kristina Frey when only Red John did – is just another reason to wish he was dead, or the real culprit. You'd be glad to see him behind bars. Not that he could last, he always find a way out, and he is good, too good.
But maybe that's not even the real problem. The real problem is that he made you think, reflect. It' something you've been forced to do many times in the last 8 years or so, but lately, you did it more than usual, because he isn't the only one who has questioned you and your reasons, your motives. Everyone did. Minelli, Bosco (more than once, and not only because of the job, you found out later), Hightower, Ardilles, and now, even Styles.
"…since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled to cut him some slack…"
"…You know that think you said about Jane making you a better cop - you don't believe that."
" You should tell me why your judgment is clouded. That's a good question"
"I thought there was something in the water, but now I can see the problem. It's you."
"Do you enjoy watching Patrick Jane take over your team, your life?"
They always are there, questioning you, questioning your motives. And yet, you always have an answer- always the same words, for everyone.
"I trust Jane"
"You know how many cases he's closed for us?"
"You think he's giving me bad habits? I think he's made me a better cop"
"So, tell me, Sam, what's clouding my judgment?"
"I can handle Jane, and I'm not cutting him some slack. That's absolutely not the case."
"We solve cases. That's all that matter to me"
But yet… is it true? or is it some lie you built to make you feel better, to sleep better at night? And moreover… why? Is it because he saved your life… or has Styles been right? Maybe… maybe you are doing because you want something more than justice. Maybe it's because you value yourself as a person…maybe… even… as a woman.
You'd kill for a shot of vodka right now.