Ruddy Cheeks (18)
You knew it wasn't right, but still, you did it. She wasn't good for you, was your complete opposite, but yet you allowed yourself to follow back into old habits, bad habits, habits you thought were long gone, forgotten since the days you were just a stupid kid, resenting his own parents so much to join a gang.
Yet, you did it.
You don't know who could be right for you, but it's not this woman. It's not good what she did, does to you. Elisa was too weak, too fragile, unable to deal with your past and your present, but Summer… she is too much, and you forget, when you are with her, who you are, who you are supposed to be. You allow her to lead, to be the master, the manipulator, yes, even the dominator.
And it's not good.
You almost got Rigsby killed. Just because you fell asleep. You fell asleep because you've been up all night having sex with her, and because you are overdosing on your own meds. Rigsby said you saved his life, allowed his son to have a father, but you know the truth. That boy almost didn't have a father because of you. Because a mistake you did.
You almost tell Lisbon what's up with you, but then, decide not to. You're not going to put another problem upon her shoulders. And besides… besides, you want to stop being weak, and there's just a way to do so.
The water runs away, brining away your meds, your drug, and for the first time in months, you finally, once again, feel strong, really strong. And it's good, so, so good….
You're coming back. Slowly, but you'll get there. eventually.