A/N: This takes place just after episode 112.
Loneliness and Lies
Michiru had insisted on taking the couch. Haruka knew this was a dig at her, in typical Michiru style. She decided to passive aggressively respond the same way Michiru had- by also refusing to take the bed.
She sat beside Michiru on her couch. The TV was playing, but neither of them were really paying attention. Haruka stole glances at the girl beside her and she could feel Michiru stealing glances at her when she was working.
Haruka felt utterly exhausted and she was sure Michiru felt the same. They had both had their hearts ripped out today and all. Yet here they were, pretending they weren't tired.
"You lied to me," she said to Michiru, finally. "You never planned to keep your end of our deal."
She expected for Michiru to deny it, to say she hadn't meant to, to give some sort of justification. But she didn't. She simply nodded.
"Why…did you lie to me?" Haruka's heart beat a little faster as she asked the question. She both dreaded and anticipated the answer. "You were the one who came up with the deal in the first place…"
Michiru gave a faint smile. "I think you can figure out the answer."
Haruka snorted, crossing her arms. "It was unfair of you."
"Haruka, what about our situation was ever fair?" Michiru said lightly.
"No. No, you can't brush this off." Haruka sprang up from the couch, pointing her finger like a malediction. "You set it up so I'd have to be alone, but you wouldn't be. It was selfish!"
"Yes." Michiru responded, meeting Haruka's incensed glare with a cool, steady gaze. "Yes, I am a selfish person. I've never pretended otherwise. Getting you involved with me in the first place was selfish. It was the least I could do to ensure you wouldn't get hurt."
"But I did get hurt!" Haruka burst out.
"Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you-"
"No!" Haruka interrupted her. She couldn't believe she had to say this. "Watching you die! That hurt! I think it hurt more than dying myself!"
Michiru looked surprised for the first time. She blinked and looked down at her lap. "…Oh."
"What, you didn't realize that?" Haruka put her hands on her hips.
"Honestly?" Michiru raised her chin, a hard look in her eyes. "No. I didn't think it would be nearly as painful for you to lose me as it would be for me to lose you." She hesitated. "I still don't."
Haruka snorted. "Wow." She flopped back down on the couch, as angrily as possible. "Wow. I'll be sure not to tell anyone that elegant graceful genius Michiru is so damn childish that she plays the "but I love you more" game."
Michiru raised an eyebrow. "Love?"
Haruka flushed. "It's…it's an expression. Anyway," She leaned toward Michiru, bracing her hands on her knees. "Why do you think I became a Sailor Senshi in the first place?"
Michiru bit her lip, lacing her fingers together. "I…assumed…it was guilt after my little display…and a desire to protect this world…"
"No, dammit!" Haruka spat. "It's because…because I saw that you weren't running away…you were taking on everything by yourself. All of the burdens. And I wanted to share them. Because I…" she flushed even harder. "I really care about you. More than anyone I've ever met…almost." Haruka tilted her head so her hair covered her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to look at Michiru.
She waited for Michiru to speak. Just when the silence had gotten excruciating, she felt a cool hand slip into her own.
"Thank you," Michiru said softly. She squeezed Haruka's hand.
"Just…" Haruka muttered. "Just…don't try to take it all on yourself, anymore, okay? We're partners in this. We're supposed to take it all on together."
Michiru giggled. It was odd to hear such a young-sounding, unrestrained, sweet little laugh coming from her, but at the same time it fit her perfectly. "My, but wouldn't Usagi and the others be floored to hear the cold-hearted Uranus talking like this."
"Shut up," Haruka muttered.
Michiru continued to giggle, but her laughter was broken off by a yawn.
"Excuse me," she said, putting a hand to her mouth, her cheeks turning a little pink.
"If you're tired…" Haruka hesitated, turning pink to match Michiru. "Well, feel free to sleep on me."
Michiru didn't need to be told twice. She snuggled up to Haruka's shoulder, a blissful smile on her face.
Haruka enjoyed the feeling of Michiru's warm weight on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through her soft hair, curling a wavy lock around her index. Then, after a minute of watching Michiru breathe steadily, Haruka took Michiru's hand and quickly, covertly kissed it, her lips brushing lightly against smooth skin. Michiru's mouth turned upward a little. As Haruka had thought, she wasn't actually asleep yet.
"Don't worry by yourself anymore," Haruka muttered to her companion as her eyes drooped. She rested her head on Michiru's and leaning on each other, they fell asleep.