A/N: the sotry was labeled as complete, but I've been requested to try to write soemthing from jane's pov.
The Crimson hat/2 (24)
You can't look at her. it's not just because you don't have the strength to, you don't have the fight in you to, but because… because you know it.
You know it, like you know everything. You know why you hugged her like for dear life in her office, desiring to never let it go, why you said those word, why you couldn't stay away any longer, and why your plan to fake a nervous breakdown was working so well. You know it all, your side of the story, and her s as well.
You know her side of the story, and you know that if you'll look in her eyes, if you'll allow her to see through you, she'll know as well. You don't want to break her, don't want to hurt her. You've done enough of this, and she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve you, point, but… it's just… you are both too stubborn, you are too selfish and she is just too hell bend on fixing everything and everyone. You told her you can't be fixed, but she is Mother Theresa, Saint Theresa, and she can't be helped. She'll always try to save you, always try to fix you, no matter what, no matter the cost. Despite the fact that she knows the cost. She told you so, and she doesn't care. she never did, right from the start, but now… now, it's more than that. Now there's only just cases to close, now it's personal, for both of you.
Love you, love you, love you Teresa…
You take, though, her hand, looking for it with you tact- you've always been a tactile person. She doesn't need to know how broken you are right now, what a failure you think you are, but you still do it, you still look for the contact, for the both of you. She needs to know you are here, and you need to know that, once again, you made it out alive, the both of you. You are alive, and she is as well. Red John didn't take her.
You are not sure you can be fixed, but sometimes, just sometimes, you still want to see her trying. And you hope that one day she'll make it. The day you'll allow her to, the day everything will be over.