Author's Corner.
Slybill: Scarlet! White! Zilbert! Take your places on the set. And…Action!
Lightning: You did that on purpose, didn't you-de arimasu?
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN POKEMON. ELSE ASH WOULD'VE WON AT LEAST ONE MAJOR LEAGUE CONFERENCE BY NOW! (AND THE ORANGE LEADGUE DOESN'T COUNT!)
Driftveil City, Unova Region.
Lightning peeled open his green eyes and sat up on the lower bunk bed where he had been snoozing peacefully. Yawning, the cowboy scratched his sandy blonde hair (oddly shaped too as two Purrloin-ear-shaped bunches stuck straight out from the sides!) and slowly got off his bed. He was about heading for the nearest restroom when he slowly noticed that White's bed was empty. Panicking, he climbed the short ladder to awaken the sleeping ravenette on the top bunk. He froze however when he saw two forms lying peacefully with the snow-haired trainer on top of her unaware companion.
"Nya...?" Lightning blurted and felt himself getting redder than a Tamato Berry. "NYA? HOW COME YOU NEVER DID THAT FOR ME, WHITE-DE ARIMASU?"
With a yelp of fright, White leapt off Scarlet, missed her footing and fell on her childhood friend sending them both tumbling onto the cold floor.
"Where's the fire?" she mumbled and looked around to see who had disturbed her dreams. Puzzled at finding nobody in the room, she gave a small gasp as the floor groaned below her.
"White..." Facing down, she found the perpetrator and tilted her head.
"Morning Filbert!" she cried and the squished teen below her moaned in frustration.
"Get off of me- de arimasu..." he groaned and White got up quickly before staring at the coughing cowboy, amused.
"You look like a Purrloin!" she exclaimed loudly and tugged on the 'ears' on his hair, eliciting a yelp from her friend. "Ginger! Look! I found a human Purrlo-MMPH!"
The soft pillow slid off her face and she came face-to-face with her 20%-drowsy-80%-pissed coach who at the moment was contemplating whether to throw his stringy nuisance out the window or shove his cube deep down her throat. Deciding that both suggestions would've been too much of a pain, he resorted to the next best thing.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you dumb broad? Can't you see people're trying to sleep? If you wanna screw Gilbert, DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!"
"Who're ya calling Dilbert-de arimasu?" the blonde growled as he locked foreheads with the fuming ravenette.
"Got something to say. Cowboy Bebop?" Scarlet growled back as they pushed back and forth with their foreheads.
"Hilbert/Lightning-de arimasu!" Lightning muttered menacingly and bared his teeth. A major fight would've broken out had it not been for the four random, groggy trainers who burst into their room in their pyjamas.
"IT'S 5 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO BACK TO SLEEP!" they boomed in unison and slammed the door shut loudly. Stunned, all three teens shook the echoing noise from their skulls and crawled back to their beds.
Silence reigned for five minutes before Scarlet gasped and sat up quickly.
"Nilbert, why the hell do you sleep in the nude...?"
At 7:00 AM sharp, the ravenette got out of his vomit-soaked bed and headed for the bathroom at the bottom floor. Walking past the sliding doors, he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the sink and sighed as he spotted his characteristic, camouflaged lock already hanging right past his right eye.
"Stupid hair. You grow too fast..." he muttered and pushed the obstructing lock to the side before washing his face. Jolteon had been left at the Pokemon section of the center so Scarlet wouldn't have to worry about any chastisement for not trimming his hair. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, he walked up to his sleeping (and drooling) trainee and pulled the sheets covering her.
"Get up," he ordered as she sunk her head deeper into her pillow. "We've got training to do."
"5 more minutes..." she groaned and waved him off. With a roll of the eyes, the hunter cracked his fingers and pinched her leg harshly. Shooting into the air and bumping her head at the base of the bunk above her, White shot a glare in her coach's direction before heading for the showers. Glancing at the still-asleep Lightning, Scarlet shrugged and picked his bag. He barely knew the guy so he had no business waking him up. Within minutes, White appeared, fully-dressed and ready for her training.
"Shouldn't we wake Gilbert?" she asked as they picked their bags and prepared to leave. Scarlet took another look in his direction thoughtfully.
"Nah..." he replied and pulled her out of the room. Heading back downstairs, Scarlet collected Jolteon from the resident Nurse Joy and led White out of the PC and in the direction of Route 6.
"What're we doing here again?" the snow-haired trainer asked.
"Catching a grass pokemon," he replied and checked his pokedex for any grass-type pokemon in the area. "It says here that there's a grass/normal pokemon called Deerling in these parts. If we're fast enough, we can..." Huh...? Where did she go?
Far, far ahead of her demanding coach, White skipped mindlessly into a cleared path in the woods, painfully unaware of the numerous wooden signs that read DANGER! FOONGUS & AMOONGUSS PATH AHEAD! TURN BACK NOW!
"I wonder what cute pokemon could be here..." she pondered allowed as she stopped to observe the endless sprawl of trees, shrubs and bushes. Her golden orbs caught sight of a rustling bush nearby and she inched over to it in curiosity. Stretching her hands out, she slowly parted the bush and came face to face with...a pokeball half-buried in the loamy soil.
"What's a pokeball doing here...?" she mumbled before reaching out to pick it. She sharply withdrew however as the pokeball moved and rose from the ground revealing a small, white body underneath with dot-like eyes and tiny arms which seemed to wave frantically as if in fright. Any trainer would've gotten the hint that this was a clear warning sign from the small pokemon but hey, this is White we're talking about here so...
"You are soooo cute! I should totally catch you!" she squealed, snatching up the pokemon in one of her usual, bone-crushing hugs. Four tick marks appeared on the Foongus tiny face and with a shove, it pushed itself out of her arms and landed directly in front of her before taking in a deep breath. Tilting her head, the oblivious trainer wondered what it was doing and was about to receive her answer when two gloved hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away from the Foongus just as it blew a large puff of fine, purple powder from its pink mouth. Looking back, White recognized the panting cowboy behind her and smiled. "Hi Filbert!"
"Hilbert-de arimasu..." he wheezed before straightening up and letting go of his childhood friend. "What's *HUFF* the big idea with leaving me behind all of a sudden-de arimasuka? I had to run around Driftveil before someone told me you guys came here-de arimasu..."
"Say...have you seen Ginger...?"
"No...I thought he was with you..." Lightning trailed off as he looked around. "Um...wasn't there a path here-de arimasen...?" White scratched her head.
"What path?" she asked and it slowly dawned on the boy that they might be the tiniest bit lost. And Route 6 had a hideous rumor going on that involved roaming ghosts and misguided travellers being lost for all eternity. And unfortunately, this cowboy was very superstitious.
"WE'RE GONNA BE STUCK HERE FOREVER-DE ARIMASU!"
White watched, amused as the panicking teen ran around in circles. Stopping himself abruptly, he grabbed her hand and ran down the nearest clearing only to find himself back where he started. What really made it worse was that a light fog was beginning to settle all over the forest.
"Snow!" his friend exclaimed and he sweatdropped. It's the end of spring-de arimasu, he deadpanned before taking off in another direction.
A good fifteen minutes passed by and White got bored. With a sigh, she stopped suddenly and tugged on Lightning's sleeve.
"I'm bored," she stated flatly and Lightning sweatdropped. "Scarlet's on his way here anyway. So let's just wait for the fog to blow over."
"What makes you think that-de arimasuka?" Shrugging, White sat herself down on a fallen log.
"Ginger might be a big jerk but he always does what he can to keep me close and safe," she stated and Lightning arched an eyebrow.
"Are you two that close-de arimasuka?"
"I guess, I mean we've done things that I haven't done with any other person before..." she replied thoughtfully and stared at her open-mouthed friend. "What...?"
"What things-de arimasuka?" he exclaimed, obviously taking what she said the wrong, wrong way. He would have started a rant about how much she preferred Scarlet to him had it not been for the odd shapes rising behind White. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her sharply towards him, effectively saving her from a spray of poison. A strong wind picked up at that moment and through the passing fog, Lightning could make out a pokemon hated by numerous trainers and travellers.
"Amoonguss, the Mushroom Pokémon and the evolved form of Foongus. By swinging its Poké Ball-like arms while dancing, Amoonguss is able to lure its prey," White's pokedex beeped.
"Pretty..." she cooed and the Amoonguss gave a low but sharp squeak as it danced in an odd manner. Lightning tugged on her arm.
"We should go-de arimasu."
"But I wanna catch it!" she whined, pokeball already in hand. The cowboy shook his head slowly.
"Bad idea," he stated and White ohhed at the ten other Amoonguss surrounding them. "They must want us for breakfast-de arimasu..."
"Oh..." and with a flick of the wrist, she stoned the initial Amoonguss right in the mouth with the pokeball. Disappearing into it with a flash, the ball shook once before opening forcefully. "Darn! Almost got it..."
Everyone froze as a small lump formed slowly on the Amoonguss' cheek. Ticked, the pokemon spewed a greenish-liquid at White who was pulled out of the way again from the attack.
"Did you even hear what I said-de arimasu?" Lightning exclaimed and ducked to dodge another glob of poison.
"Can I try again?" was all she asked and Lightning made a face before reaching for his pokeballs...and remembering that he left them at the PC in his haste. Meanwhile, Pignite and Sandile had already been called to the forefront and they got to work, easily putting down seven of the poisonous creatures with their attacks. While White was busy ordering her pokemon, the initial Amoonguss crept up behind her and was about spraying her when Lightning once again pushed her out of the way. Unfortunately for him though, he was right in front of the attacking pokemon and as such, felt the full force of the powder clouding his entire frame.
Eventually, the cloud cleared and our cowboy sank to his knees with a purplish blush flooding his cheeks, no longer having the strength to stand as the poison had eaten away at his energy.
"Dilbert! Are you alright?" White cried as she rushed over to him.
"Hi-Hilbert-de arimasu..." he slurred and fell back with swirl marks in his eyes and a goofy grin on his paling face.
"I hope antidotes work on humans," the snow-haired girl pondered as she turned to get her bag. She however came face-to-face with the ticked Amoonguss who made quick work of her face with a doubleslap before spraying all the dust it could muster. All though Pignite blew it away with a flamethrower, the deed was done and White held her head as the world began to spin. With swirls for eyes and the characteristic purple blush, she fell back and landed on Lightning.
"Amoonguss are so cool..." she dribbled and passed out.
Scarlet lazily parted a bush and stepped back quickly avoiding a spray from the resident Foongus'. Truth was, he was just as poisoned as White and Lightning but having been exposed to such weak gases over the course of his hunting years, his immune system had naturally built up against such poisons. Not fully, but at least to the point where he could still walk normally for an hour or two before his senses deadened.
"Remind me to put a leash on that ditz when I find her," he mumbled to his faithful, healthy partner trotting beside him. It had been a full 45 minutes since she had disappeared and the hunter had decided to just rely on Jolteon's strong sense of smell. He was lucky that she used such a unique perfume (Essence of Ivysaur Pollen mixed with Combee Honey to be exact) and also because her scent was on every nook and cranny of his shirts (Hugs, squeezes and the occasional mild groping) else he wouldn't have been able to give his pokemon a trail to follow. His vision flickered slightly and he was about putting a hand up to rub his eyes when he found that his right hand was beginning to twitch violently.
"Great, just great..." Taking out his cube, he switched to light cycle function and, with Jolteon in front, zoomed through the forest noisily. In no time at all, he saw smoke rising from a huddle of trees in the distance. "Using fire moves in a forest...definitely White."
Pignite torched the last Amoonguss and Sandy swore at them as they hopped away, frightened but thoroughly satisfied. Looking to her trainer for the usual words of praise, she gasped and ran up to the fallen White. Eyeing the goofy grin on her face, the Desert Croc tilted her big head in confusion and Pignite pushed her out of the way to get to White's bag for the antidote. Before she could reach it however, Sandile bit her coiled tail and pulled her back.
What's that for, dot eyes? the impatient Fire pig growled as she rubbed her tail. Sandile huffed and trotted up to the bag.
Bitch please! I'm the one healing the mistress since I'm her obvious favourite, she scoffed and rummaged through the bag for the purple bottle.
What makes you think that, Sandy, Pignite sneered and the Sandy froze before turning to her rival.
Think of it this way Fatso, I'm the only pokemon on her fucking team with a nickname, she growled and smiled as Pignite went red in the face.
Why d'you have to be so vulgar, you...you...poop? Sandy dropped the bottle and raised an eyebrow (wherever that was).
Poop, really? Is that all you got, fatass. That's why your kind is only good for bacon...
Say that again, you little piece of shit!
Finally! Now we're getting somewhere!
Flamethrower!
BOOM!
Sandy dodged the stream of fire blown from Pignite's snout and jeered before spouting some choice words and dodging another flamethrower. In time, the surrounding area had gotten swallowed in flames and Pignite watched in fright as four 6'07 female Sawsbuck, pokemon that looked a whole lot like reindeer, ran out noisily from the burning bushes and caught sight of the cause of their anguish. With loud bellows, they ganged up on Pignite and beat the living stuffing out of her with Sandile laughing at a comfortable distance. Her triumph was short lived however as a deathly familiar rumbling slithered through the ground causing Sandile to have a very brief sense of nostalgia. Before she knew it, that bastard of a cycle that had previously signified the end of her peaceful life in the wild, came bounding out of the bushes and straight on top of her as Scarlet brought his search to a close. The Sawsbuck, having seen the mechanical monster, fled leaving a heavily sore Pignite behind who in turn laughed weakly at the squished-as-a-pancake form of the unfortunate Sandy.
Seeing White sprawled over Lightning, Scarlet quickly guessed that they had encountered some poison pokemon somewhere and administered the antidote nearby to the trainer first before applying some on himself.
"Ginger! What took you so long?" the girl exclaimed, leaping at him for a hug. She stopped abruptly as the ravenette jabbed his finger into her exposed forehead and pressed slowly.
"It's punishment time~" he rolled with a sadistic smile and applied more pressure.
"But I didn't do anything!" she whined and shrieked as he pressed harder. "Please Ging-OW-Scarlet! You're drilling my brain!"
"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a ditz, rookie~" he sang coldly before giving one final push and bundling her onto his cycle. "We're heading back for breakfast. You obviously didn't catch anything during your little adventure, right?"
White hung her head and anime tears poured like waterfalls from her golden eyes. "And to think I almost caught that Amoonguss too!"
"Shut up and call back your pokemon..." her coach sighed and revved his cycle. "Hey Gilbert! You've got 4 seconds to get your poisoned ass up here else I'm leaving you behind!"
"You...didn't...heal...me...de arimasu..." the forgotten cowboy lamented weakly. "And...it's Hilbert...de arima-"
"Time's up! Have fun walking!" Scarlet cut in and sped off back to Driftveil. A bite on the head and a heavy electric shock later, the light cycle slowly reversed and stopped near Lightning. After placing him at the very back, the grumbling ravenette squeezed himself between Jolteon and White and sped out of the troublesome forest.
"Was there a major famine in Nuvema Town or are all its residents just pigs...?" Scarlet muttered and Jolteon shrugged as the duo watched Lightning and White devouring plate after plate of breakfast at breakneck speed (with a mess to match). "How does she stay in shape...?"
"Oh! Mom says I'm a special case!" the trainer declared suddenly and put down her food before pushing up her boobs. "It's a hereditary trait passed down from the women on her side of the family. She said that we have most of our nutrients flow into our chests and pile up here. Back home, people often refer to Mom as Miltank Mama!"
As one, all male trainers turned to face her with drool hanging from their open jaws while the girls humphed in unison and ordered for more food.
"And you're definitely next in line for that title..." both hunter and cowboy deadpanned before Scarlet picked up his bag.
"I almost forgot, I wasn't sure if Nurse Joy had this but you'll be surprised what she does in her free time," he said and White wandered what exactly he was looking for.
"Is it a present?" she asked, getting excited when her coach nodded and Lightning stiffened. Presents too...? he mentally screamed. With a smirk, Scarlet pulled out a suggestive-looking leash with a leathery pink collar that had spikes coming out from the side. White stared, Lightning paled and everyone else coughed nervously at the questionable item. Oblivious, Scarlet slapped the collar on and eyed his newest idea proudly. Not only was this collar fitted with a lock that only he could open, it also had an electric sensor that would zap the wearer if he/she was too far from him.
"Convenient..." he remarked and Lightning shot off his chair and locked foreheads with the hunter.
"Oi Scarface, my best friend ain't some SM toy for you to play with-de arimasu!" he growled menacingly and Scarlet tch-ed.
"Sorry pervert but I'm into redheads not grayheads," the hunter replied and pushed against the cowboy. "Besides, looks like she's enjoying it..." he added and pointed in her direction. Glancing, the blonde saw White curiously fingering the collar and sweatdropped as she made a happy face.
"You're not jealous, are you...?" Scarlet sneered lowly and Lightning went three shades of red.
"W-w-what're you talking about-de arimasuka?" he stammered and the ravenette rolled his eyes.
"It's so obvious, even Ash Ketchum would've noticed it by now..." he groaned and Lightning gulped before stiffly walking back to his seat. His hero complex wouldn't allow lies so all he could do was sit and breathe deeply. "Hey, have you tried confessing to her?"
Like a robot, Lightning nodded and suddenly got depressed.
"Did you get rejected...?" Scarlet pushed on, he had time to kill anyway. He was surprised however as the teen shook his head. "You didn't get rejected? So you guys are-"
"She didn't accept me either-de arimasu!" he blurted and wailed anime style. "The first time I tried was when we first got our starter pokemon..." he continued and Scarlet felt a story coming up.
Route 1, Unova Region.
Oshawott collapsed at Lightning's feet and the boy didn't need a referee to know that it was out for the count. Scooping it up, he glanced at the snow-haired trainer who was happily swinging the victorious Tepig in her arms. Smiling, he walked up to them and tapped her shoulder lightly.
"Although you were obviously lucky, it was still a good battle anyway. I won't lose next time though-de arimasu!" he scoffed as usual and White looked up at him with that ditzy smile of hers that never failed to light him up like a Christmas tree.
"Your Oshawott was awesome, Filbert! I'll get stronger so we can have an even more fun battle in future!" she replied happily and Lightning made a face.
"It's Hilbert! Maybe I should find a nickname-de arimasu!" he moaned before taking on a serious expression. "Um...White, we mightn't see each other for a long while so I decided to say this while I've still got the chance-de arimasu."
Puzzled, White tilted her head. "Say what, Gilbert?"
"Hilbert-de arimasu..." he groaned before taking a deep breath. "White! You were the only one in kindergarten who talked to me when I first moved here 9 years ago. You taught me how to get by in Unova when I was still missing Johto. You even beat up those kids who used to bully me cos of speech suffixes-de arimasu."
Silence. 'Maybe she's wondering where I'm going with this...' Lightning observed inwardly and continued. "We've been through thick and thin now and I can confidently say that you're my best friend. But...but *swallows nervously* I always wanted us to be more than best friends-de arimasu..."
"Best-best friends?" the girl suggested and Lightning fell over. He knew he'd have to be blunt with her but this was just sad. Anybody would've taken the hint by now.
"No- de arimasu," he replied and fiddled with his hat nervously. "I want us to be more than that. See the thing is...I-I-I..." (Insert steam wafting from the top of the head). 'Say it! Say it! Say it-de arimasu!' his conscience pushed and the blonde squeezed his eyes shut as the words spilled out. "Iloveyou-de arimasu!"
Silence...
Peeling open an eye, the boy got confused as he spotted no one in the field. "Nya...? Where did she go de-arimasuka?" Before he had time to register where she went, two gloved pairs of hands gripped his arms and he looked back to see...paramedics with concerned expressions on their faces. Behind them, White stood beside his own worried-looking mother and grinned.
"You were acting all weird, Albert so I did a good deed and called your mom who called the hospital!" she declared and laughed goofily. "Sorry I couldn't here that last statement of yours since I had to get help as fast I could but hey, what're bestest friends for!"
As he was strapped to the stretcher, his mom looked over him sadly with a befuddled Oshawott in her arms. "I knew you weren't ready to handle pokemon yet sweetie but I didn't think they'd have this much of an effect on you. Don't worry though, we're going to see a good psychiatrist in Striaton City and you'll be up-and-training in no time!"
"Bye Norbert! Get well soon and I hope we can battle again sometime!" White called, waving happily at the bewildered boy.
As the doors slammed shut and the siren sounded, the exasperated Lightning could only shout one parting sentence before getting heavily sedated.
"IT'S HILBERT -DE ARIMASU!"
Scarlet, Jolteon and every other guy, that had somehow mysteriously gathered round the lamenting Lightning, were fighting bravely to hold back the laughter threatening to burst from within them like overfilled Drifloon.
"She set me back by two weeks...two friggin weeks-de arimasu..." he wailed and Scarlet let out the haughtiest cackle anyone had ever heard before stopping abruptly and placing a hand on the cowboy's shoulder.
"If you ever feel like committing suicide, I'll always be here to help out in anyway I can," he said soothingly and Lightning smiled. Maybe Scarlet wasn't so bad after al-
"I personally recommend hanging," he continued and the cowboy realized that he spoke too soon.
"I can tie a good noose," one person piped up.
"I can set up a gallows, just in case you want a dramatic end."
"I'm good with clearing the body."
"I can pray!"
"And I've got rope. Let's work hard together everyone!" Scarlet added and all the guys cheered, pumping their fists into the air.
"Or! I'll do the next best thing and try again-de arimasu!" the frustrated blonde butted in sharply.
"Awww maaaann..."
"That too," Scarlet replied and looked over to the still-distracted White. "You'll just need her to stay focused enough to listen to you."
"I know how to do that-de arimasu..." Lightning smirked and walked up to White.
"You. Me. Battle. Now. De arimasu!"